Looking back
by michiyorain
Summary: I'll hang over you for eternity. Even for a second, I won't let you forget this betrayal. My curse shall stop you from touching her with your filthy hands. No matter how much time passes, even if she forgives you…and no matter how much you love her…
1. The Beginning of heroes

She was one of the nations who just smiled and silently watched as America burst through the door and made his epic hero entrance which was immediately followed by England berating him for accomplishing nothing but being late to yet another world meeting. In a few seconds, the room was in an uproar as every nation gave in their two cents to the growing argument that the origin of the predicament seemed to have been lost among the succeeding jeers.

"Can't we at least have a decent world meeting for once, aru?" China pouted and proceeded to ignore his fellow nations who suddenly weren't just bickering anymore and just hugged his panda.

"Here, Uncle China, would you like a hopia?" Philippines pushed the small box of snacks towards the older nation who gladly thanked her and started munching on the sweet stuff.

"Im Yong Soo, Wan-chan, you like?"

"Haha! You know, Philippines, hopia originated from-," he was cut off by Taiwan leaning over the table and pushing him away to get her snack and afterwards promptly shoved the treat at Yong Soo's mouth and retreated back to her seat.

"Salamat, Phili." Taiwan blushed, she hoped she pronounced that right.

"You're welcome..." she liked it when other nations used her language even in small bits. It warmed her heart.

They were snapped out of their peaceful side of the table when Germany's voiced thundered through the room and immediately, the shouts and curses that flew back and forth ceased.

"Would everyone, please, just PLEASE, stop this ridiculous bantering and get on with the meeting already? We're talking about world problems here and when I say world problems, that doesn't mean _yours_!" he snapped, slamming his knuckles on the table in anger.

England who was stopped with his fist about to hit France's face, proceeded to give said punch to France then got up and went back to his seat, wiping the blood trickling from his mouth and sneering. America pouted, muttered something inaudible and sat next to England. And the fighting nations dispersed and went back to being civilized people. Germany glared at them all before he sat back down and let Libya, the disgruntled current President of the United Nations, take the floor and open the subjects for discussion.

Philippines smiled as her brown eyes scanned the room. It was great seeing all the nations together in one room, it was quite a sight, actually. Being an archipelago, she was usually alone and didn't have much hope of casually seeing another nation when she's separated by hundreds of miles of sea from them. The hushed murmurs from other countries, Veneciano's weird noises, the intimidating aura from Russia and the drone of Libya's voice, Philippines loved where she was right now. She giggled as America made paper airplanes out of program files, fully ignorant of the disapproving looks sent his way by his seatmate, England. She loved watching all the people she loves, not interfering, just watching.

Then she heard a low 'Chigi' sound and her attention immediately turned to one blushing Romano who had his hair curl in Spain's grasp. Even Philippines blushed as the Spaniard played with the curl, obviously still not getting what it was doing to his former charge. She remembered when she discovered what that curl did to Romano when she was still living with them...happy times...and then...

Spain caught her eye. Philippines snapped out of her daydreaming and gave a little wave at her former colonizer. Spain gave her a smile in return and a wink. She giggled and pointed towards Romano who was still red in the face. She touched a strand of her own black hair and prompted Spain to realize what she meant to say. Antonio looked at her, confused and pointed at Romano's curl which was still caught in his fingers. She nodded and made an 'x' sign with her index fingers. Antonio continued tugging at it leaving Lovino flustered and getting redder as time goes by. She rolled her eyes and put her hands in front of her as if in prayer and pouted in the cutest way she could muster. Spain grinned and let go of the hair and immediately got a punch in the gut from a fuming Lovino along with a series of colorful words. Philippines bit her hand in a vain attempt in muffling her laughter. Romano must have really been angry to hit Spain hard enough to knock him out...poor man was now half-sprawled on the table and his other seatmates doesn't seem to mind except Feliciano who proceeded to poke Spain with his pencil.

Her laughter finally died down and her eyes went back to wandering around the room again. She tried to join the discussion but quickly grew tired of it when Estonia's ideas made her feel drowsy. After a few more minutes of wrestling with the desire to just imitate Greece and forego the meeting at hand, she finally decided to sleep in and just watch the meeting again, since she was sure their meetings were always recorded. She folded her arms on the table and rested her sleepy head on it. In a few seconds, she was asleep.

She was startled awake by Taiwan gently tapping her on the shoulder.

"Phili, get up. The meeting's done, let's go grab some dinner before we go back to the hotel!" Taiwan beamed down at her. Philippines nodded and slowly got up. The other nations were piling out of the room, probably to get dinner too before they retire for the night. She put back all her things in her folder and followed the other Asian nations out.

Malaysia and Indonesia were instantly on her sides as they walked down the hall.

"Hey, Phili, how's it going? Wanna hit the bar with us after dinner?" Malaysia invited. He was one of Philippines' first and closest friends so the girl couldn't find it in her heart to refuse him this one time when they could get together without political relations in between.

"Sure, Malaysia, I'll go."

"Fabulous," he gave her a thumbs up, and went off to invite Vietnam and Thailand. Philippines continued to walk with Indonesia. The adorable young man looked at her then turned away. Philippines gave an excited squeal and hugged the silent man and ruffled his hair.

"Philippines, stop messing my hair..." the man said gently though made no move to stop her. He was older and taller than her but his baby face and the tiger cub who always accompanies him, which he's currently nestling in his arms, always made her think otherwise.

"But you're so cute, kuya!"

Indonesia huffed and just let the smaller nation cling on his arm. She'll never quit anyway, leaving him wondering if he had spoiled her too much when she was little.

The Southeast Asian nations group was the last to arrive in the now increasingly loud dining hall. They sat themselves on the only remaining unoccupied table which happened to be far from everyone else. Philippines sat herself between Indonesia and Vietnam. Taiwan and Hongkong were called over by China to sit with him.

"Wow…since we're all here, why don't we also get the next ASEAN meeting out of the way, ana?" Thailand chuckled when they all finally sat down.

"Sounds good! Let's just hit the beach on that date!" Malaysia, forever the instigator of these get-togethers, nudged them on.

"I'd like to go to Bali…" Cambodia said, playing with her braids.

"Me too!" Philippines and Laos chimed in.

Vietnam just sipped her tea calmly, "Have you forgotten that heads of state will be there and we can't exactly postpone such an important event which had been scheduled half a year before just because we decided to have a beach party ten days before."

All the others in the table pouted, but did not bother arguing with her because she was right on that one. And also, they were all aware that they were all just half-joking…but the half-serious part in their conversation left them quite frustrated.

"Just make up for it with tonight." Indonesia suggested and everyone happily agreed.

After dinner, they all went back to their respective hotel rooms to clean up and change clothes. Business attires aren't quite comfortable to party in. Philippines wore a black strapless dress that reached her knees and tied her long black hair in twin pigtails. She never bothered with makeup, so after putting on a little perfume, she was already making her way to the door. Seeing that she still has an hour before they promised to meet at the hotel entrance, she headed for the rooftop of the hotel.

She got out of the elevator on the topmost floor and climbed the remaining stairs and opened the door to the rooftop. There was only the dim light of the lamps and the blinking red light from the control tower to guide her steps as she made her way to the railings. She looked around, checking if anyone was watching then she let out an excited squeal, kicked off her sandals and jumped over the railing, landing on the extra one meter strip extending from the railing.

The full blast of the cold night air met her face and there was no greater thrill in the world. She held on to the railings, letting the cold air play with her hair as she laughs and shivers from the coldness around her. She looked up at the starry sky and scanned every star, the full moon and the darkened clouds then she looked down at the town and smiled as the lights danced before her eyes, imitating the sky above it. It was a few minutes before her knees gave out on her and she dropped on the floor, hugging her knees close to her body. She didn't care when the dress pooled where she sat and exposed her hips to the cold air. It's dark anyway...

She started humming one of her favorite songs, a lullaby by one of her greatest composers and before she knew it, she was already singing to the missing music, staring off into the vast land below her.

I hope my former days don't fade away  
When I was a young child in Mom's arms  
I want Beloved Mother's song to repeat  
Song of love while I was in the cradle

She kept on singing even when hands came up from behind her and covered her eyes. She knew who it was and she knew she need not be afraid.

In my sleep  
that's very peaceful  
The planets guard me  
The stars watch over me  
In Mom's arms  
Life was like heaven  
My heart that's hurting  
Yearns for the sway of the cradle by you, Mom

"Alfred, I might fall asleep if you cover my eyes like this," she said as she reached up to pry his hands away and hold it in hers, delighting in the warmth of his hands, she pressed them to her cold cheeks.

"Aww…same old Phili~," America huffed before withdrawing his hands and jumping over the railing too and sitting beside her. "I swear my awesomeness always gives me away, don't you think so too?"

'No, your childishness does…' was what she wanted to say but she just giggled and nodded in agreement with him. "By the way, what are you doing here?"

"I saw you go through the door to the rooftop, geez…you almost gave me a heart attack when you jumped over the railing!"

She remembered that America was rooming in the penthouse of the hotel. They were in his land after all. He must have just come from the dining hall, he was still in his business attire, except he had already pulled loose his necktie and his shirt was open midway. "What did you do, then?"

"Of course, the hero in me kicked in to save you but then you started screaming like crazy and seemed like you were enjoying it…"

She raised an eyebrow at him, 'So he _could_ read the atmosphere every once in a while.'

"Oh, I see…sorry, I do that sometimes, great way to relax, actually!"

America smiled at her and his eyes traveled down to her exposed smooth legs which she seemed to be nonchalant about, her black dress pooling on her abdomen, her shoulders, her long black hair, her fair skin, her lips that were always smiling. She was so beautiful that even America finds it hard to tear his eyes away sometimes. "Going somewhere tonight?"

She looked at her watch, "In twenty minutes, I'll be meeting the others at the lobby, wanna join us?"

"I'll pass, I've got tons of work to do, had to discuss something with England, too." America said apologetically.

"Too bad, I rarely get to hang out with you, you're always running around."

"Everyone needs a hero and that's what I am! If you need me, just shout my name! If it's you, I'll definitely be there in a second."

She thanked the poor lighting for hiding the blush on her face.

"Why are you trembling?"

"I'm cold."

And yeah, she thanked the cold wind too for being an excuse when she's finding it hard to restrain her joy that she trembled. She was weak to promises like that, even if they're sometimes achingly empty. But the fact that America never broke a promise to her made her a little hopeful that maybe, just maybe, she really is as important as he makes her feel right now.

"Oh, right! Here!" he took off his jacket and draped it over her shoulders. And before she could protest at him, he jumped back over the railing and was offering his hand to help her.

She stared at the hand he offered then passed both her hands through the sleeves of his jacket, taking his hand and jumping over the railing herself. She murmured a quick 'thanks' before walking to the exit beside him.

"Hey, are you free tomorrow lunch?" Philippines asked as she was led down a flight of stares before reaching the carpeted landing of the penthouse suites.

America made a sound that he was thinking before replying, "Sorry, I'm expected to report back to D.C. by tomorrow noon."

She ignored the welling disappointment inside her and tried to not sound too frustrated, "How about Friday night?"

"Where the hell have you been, you git?!"

England was standing outside America's door, looking exceedingly cranky.

"How long have you been there, England?"

"For about half an hour, you dolt!"

"Well, sorry 'bout-,"

"Sorry? You think a measly so-," he stopped then, "Oh, well, sorry for disturbing you two, goodnight." And he promptly walked in the opposite direction.

"Arthur, wait! It's not-," America made to grab him but when Philippines was suddenly thrown at England's retreating back, he realized that he was holding her hand the whole time and it seemed he didn't notice until he used that arm to reach for England and the two came crashing down on the floor a few paces away from him.

"Oh my god! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to-,"

"What the hell, Alfred?!?" Arthur continuously mumbled curses at America as he tried to help the poor girl up. "Are you hurt?"

Philippines just smiled and straightened her dress, checking for rips, which she was glad there were none, thankfully it was saved by the jacket she was wearing, "It's okay, I'm sure Alfred didn't mean it,"

"I'm sorry, I wasn't aware I was still holding your hand," he was looking both apologetic and flustered at the same time that England believed that he wasn't just making excuses. He nodded but still threw America a glare.

"Forget about it, no harm done." she dismissed America's apologies before she turned to England, holding her hands in front of her as if in prayer, "Sorry, Arthur, I kind of held up America in the rooftop so he was late at your meeting, please do proceed with it,"

England was itching to ask her how she could be so forgiving and could be so patient with America but chose not to do so when she looked at him with those innocent clear brown eyes of hers. Well…he could understand naivety. He just nodded and patted the young woman on the head. "You sure never change, stupid girl." he smirked.

"You too, bloody punk." she giggled.

England chuckled at the nickname she gave him when he once occupied her country for two years. Her giggles never failed to be contagious as he felt his mood lighten up with it. From behind her, he could see America looking at her with a small smile playing in his lips, the look in his eyes betraying his adoration for the black haired girl in front of them.

"Oh yeah," with the mirth back in her voice, she skipped back to Alfred, who instantly snapped out of his reverie, and made to take off his jacket when Alfred stopped her.

"No, keep it on, it's cold outside," he said, straightening the collar of the jacket on her.

"Are you sure? You know, it doesn't really suit my dres-," she was cut off when Alfred leaned down and gave her a peck on the cheek.

"Friday night sounds good," he whispered dangerously close to her ear that she instinctively backed away a few inches, a blush slowly creeping on her face.

She opted to fix her gaze on the carpet. "I'll…call you…on the details then…goodnight!" she murmured before pushing past Arthur and running down the corridor towards the elevators.

"It's a date then!!!" America called after her.

She stopped, doubled back and stuck out her tongue in a childish manner at America causing both men to laugh then ran again as the elevator opened.

"See you, idiots!" she shouted before the doors of the elevator closed.

* * *

**April 27, 1521**

The little girl ran along the white sand as she played tag with the children of her countrymen. There was a gathering that day, meat were roasting on the open fire, lavish food were laid out on the tables, women were dancing to the songs the men made on their instruments and the sun was brightly shining. It was a perfect day for a wedding. A little boy tagged her in the arm and she proceeded to run after her playmates, a grin on her features. This was a perfect day, nothing would ruin it. And she was sure of that until...

A haggard looking teenage boy ran amongst the guest in a complete panic. He went straight to the Nipa hut of the Datu and after a few minutes, the Datu emerged, along with some warriors in full battle outfit and marched right after the teenage boy.

She plucked up her courage to detach herself from the bride, who held on to her, and made to follow the Datu. Soon they stopped at the edge of the cliff and looked down. There, on the shores of their land were foreign ships, not like the Malaysian and Indonesian boats they so gladly traded with.

She asked the men what those ships meant, another country to trade with? The men finally noticed the little girl and took a glance at her before the Datu ordered one of his men to escort her back to the settlement. She did so with reluctance and once the warrior who escorted her back was gone again, she took off into the shelter of the forest and secretly made her way back to cliff edge. When she was sure she was safely hidden by the trees did she then peeked out from her hiding place and spied on the cliff edge. But the warriors and the Datu were no longer there.

With a confused look on her face, she slid down from the tree and walked to the edge. Only then did she hear the shouts coming from below. Taking care not to be seen, she lied down flat on the grass and slowly poked her head out from the edges. She cocked an eyebrow in confusion. Down below, waiting on the beach shore were hundreds of her own countrymen all carrying bamboo spears and those metal-things they forbade her to touch and opposite them were about fifty men, all clad in shiny silver clothes carrying equally shiny sharp looking objects, wading through the shallow water.

Then, all of a sudden, her men lunged at the silver men and the fight broke out. She saw as spears and arrows came flying. She gasped when one missed her head narrowly but nevertheless, she watched as what she deemed as the leader of the silver men come down as he was attacked by no less than five men at once. In a few minutes, the remaining silver men retreated back to their huge ships and sailed away, escaping the barrage of lighted arrows that chased after them.

She did not notice that she was already standing up and jumping until a youth came running towards her, captured her and brought her before the Datu and the men on the shore.

"What did I tell you?" Lapu-Lapu, the name of the Datu, said with a warning tone.

The little girl puffed her cheeks, clasped her hands behind her and rocked herself on her feet, "You told me to wait in the house," she tried to sound weak.

"And what were you doing up there?"

"Watching what you were doing…cheering for you!" she gave him a toothy grin, hoping to all the gods that he'll forgive her little disobedience. And she didn't know if she was just lucky that way or she'll just have to admit that she's awfully cute when she does that when Lapu-Lapu kneeled down before her and put his large calloused hands on her little shoulders.

"My little princess, do you understand what you witnessed just now?"

It was the first time she ever heard him talk like that to her. He's serious. So she retaliated by putting her own pudgy little hands on his shoulders too and tried to look at him with the same serious expression he wore. "If you didn't want to trade with them, you didn't have to kill them. I'd understand if you didn't want to wear silver."

Lapu-Lapu let out an exasperated breath and continued, "Not all foreigners are traders, remember that."

The girl smiled again, "Okay then! What are they?"

The Datu paused then spoke in a tone that seemed to tell her that playtime was over, "They are here to capture you."

She cocked her head to the side and furrowed her brows in confusion, "We're…playing tag?"

"No!" the Datu yelled then bowed down his head for a moment as if restraining his emotions before looking back at the stunned little girl he was holding. "You're too little to worry about this but you have to understand, those people want to take away your freedom, enslave us and what we did is fight them off for now, for your sake, for _our_ sake."

When the little girl did not question him, he went on. "Some of your countrymen had already allied themselves with these conquerors and had sent them here to kill me, to get you and colonize our nation."

The girl seemed dumbstruck by his last statement, "M-my own men did w-what?!?" and her tears started running down her soft cheeks.

Lapu-Lapu sighed and hugged the sobbing little girl closer, as if protecting her. "You need not be afraid, they will surely come back, but even at the cost of my life, I will protect you, my little princess."

She sniffed and hugged her loyal countryman. "I don't want you to be hurt…" then she pulled back and looked at the hundreds of warriors with their fierce eyes on her. "I DON'T WANT ANY OF YOU TO BE HURT, OKAY?"

There was a collective agreement from the warriors, some were laughing, raising their shields and machetes at her in salute, and some came to pat her gently on the head. And even if she greatly feared for her countrymen, her heart swelled up with joy at their heartfelt promises of laying down their lives for her sake.

* * *

**April 27, 1565**

They left her in a large pit. Really, they shouldn't treat her like a little kid anymore… despite looking like the average four-year-old. She's actually older than any of them by a hundred years, heck, the gods must have just cursed her to be small forever. Well, that wasn't her fault, isn't it? So she found it beyond herself as to why they would suddenly pick her up from her charges, _not_ playmates, carry her to the mountains and then dump her over this pit she's trying hard to escape from now. They really have a weird sense of humor.

She was terribly hungry now. How long has it been since she last ate? Three, five hours ago? She laid down on the grassy bottom of the pit and massaged her grumbling stomach and fell asleep.

She woke up to the sounds of the cicadas and the hooting of the owls. It was completely dark now and the little light she got from the moon didn't help much in her blind search for something to grab on to pull herself up. There were none. Suddenly, a banana hit her in the head and she looked up. There was a monkey sitting on the tree branch hanging above her pit.

"Hey there little monkey! Could you please help me?" she said, begging the gods to translate whatever she said to the monkey. Instead, the monkey swung away from her sight and the little girl panicked. "Ah! W-wait! Don't leave me!" She dropped to the ground, hugged her knees and puffed up her cheeks in a bid to stop her tears from falling. She needs to be brave now. No one seems to want to rescue her.

And just as she was wallowing in her grief, another thing fell on her head. "Stop it! That hurts!" the monkey came back and had thrown her a vine from one of the trees. She immediately grabbed for it and used it to free herself from the pit. In a few seconds, she was already looking down on her prison. The monkey was jumping up and down, making loud noises.

The monkey let her collect him in her arms, "Salamat." she whispered and put down the little monkey who only jumped back into her arms. "You want to go home with me? Let's go then." she smiled and started running down the familiar trail back to the settlement near the sea.

She let out a horrified gasp when she reached the cliff edge where she watched Lapu-Lapu's battle some years back. There down below, were an entire fleet of ships much like the ones who came years ago and opposite them on the shore were the lifeless bodies of her warriors, carefully being laid side by side by the foreign men. The current Raja wasn't among them. The little girl let out a choked scream and her tears finally escaped from her eyes. She went down on her knees and prayed to the gods for the souls of her beloved brave men.

After that, she ran for the settlement.

She used to believe fire was beautiful when they danced around during nights and it was cold. But now, as she watched the fires consume the houses of her people, she had never seen an uglier thing. There were no more sounds, no more screams. Wherever her people may be, she had no idea. Maybe they're dead? The monkey climbed on her head. She broke into a full run into the settlements despite the heat of the fire scorching her skin.

She called out the names of the children she played with, the women who took care of her, the old men who taught her, but no one called back. She had already run through the burning village before she realized that no one was there. "Where are you!?!"

She sank down to a trembling heap on the sand and wailed and wept for her people. The monkey jumped up and down beside her in a vain effort to cheer the little girl up.

And she wailed in grief until she heard the sound of footsteps on the sand. She looked up with a big smile on her face, hoping for a familiar face of one of her countrymen but her smile fell as the man came closer and closer until he was standing five feet away from her. He was wearing clothes she hasn't seen before, and the goofy grin on his face made her cringe away from him.

His grin fell and he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion at her, wondering why she's slowly backing away from him. "Hola, soy España. ¿Qué es su nombre?" he sat on the sand and extended his hand to her. The girl shook her head and backed away from him. Then did it occur to him that she did not understand his gesture or anything he had said at all. He let out an exasperated sigh. He'll have to teach her that, or he'll have to learn her language. But for now, he'll have to settle with the communication gap.

"¿Usted no tiene un nombre?"

She just stared at him.

Spain sighed. He stood up and scooped the frightened little girl in his arms and though she struggled when he turned to take her back to his camp, the warmth of his clothes and the gentle way he held her eventually stilled her.

"No tenga miedo, la poco uno. de ahora en adelante, estaré cuidando de usted." the sincere tone of his voice assured her that for now, she'll be safe.

He stopped walking and held out the little girl in front of him to his level so he could look at her in the eyes.

"Yo le debo dar un nombre..." he murmured, then he paused for a minute before smiling at the little girl again,

"De ahora en adelante, usted será llamado-," he paused again as if finalizing his decision.

"_Las Islas Filipinas_."

And even if she didn't understand a single word he said, she felt as if her heart was being ripped from her.

* * *

To be continued!

NOTES:

Kuya - Big brother

Before the Spain arrived, the Philippines were already trading with neighboring countries, Malaysia and Indonesia and China also, I think. Magellan was the first Spanish to arrive but not the first European to arrive.

Hola, soy España. ¿Qué es su nombre? - Hello, I'm Spain. What's your name?

¿Usted no tiene un nombre? - You don't have a name?

No tenga miedo, la poco uno. de ahora en adelante, estaré cuidando de usted. - Don't worry, little one. I'll be taking care of you from now on.

Yo le debo dar un nombre... - I should give you a name

De ahora en adelante, usted será llamado - From now on, you'll be called

Las Islas Filipinas - original name Spanish colonizers gave to the Philippines.

April 27, 1521 - Battle of Mactan. contrary to popular belief in my country, Lapu-Lapu himslef did not directly engage Magellan in combat...but since he's Datu, he gets the credit.

April 27, 1565 - Spanish conquistadores numbering a mere 500 attacked the defiant Tupas, who had succeeded Rajah Humabon as king of Cebu . Tupas was defeated and made to sign an agreement after his defeat and effectively placing the Philippines under Spain.

These two battles did not happen in the same place so I bended the story a little. but remember that they absolutely are not!

**I somewhat can't think straight because Hetalia is stuck in my head ever since I watched it. Pure genius stuff, Hetalia is.**


	2. Distinguished and ever loyal city

She tried to will away the blush on her cheeks as the elevator descended. "Don't be such an idiot." she said to her reflection and the colors immediately drained from her face. "It's called 'gratefulness'."

Considering her relationship with America now, she could say he was her closest ally. But because he could never feel the same way about her, not much could be expected from her, she'd admit that only when it comes to war because she can't afford the same technology he enjoys, it made their relationship much more uncomfortable for her. It was as if she was still dependent on America, and she hated that she can't do anything about it. Personally, she believes her relationship with America is a bit awkward, probably because she's convinced that it was strained.

"It's necessary, Philippines." she said to herself, "It's necessary." And she grinned. There was a ring before the doors parted and she stepped into the white marble floors of the lobby, hugging America's jacket closer to her body.

She scanned the huge lobby for her fellow nations and she found them sitting on the couches near the receptionists. Philippines quickly made her way to them.

"Hey! You're late!" Malaysia noticed her and he stood up from the couch where he was sitting with Brunei, a seventeen year old-looking girl with shoulder length black hair, tan skin and black eyes, and Laos, a 20-year old looking man with short black hair and fair skin.

She clasped her hands together in front of her, "Sorry, something came up."

"Great. I was getting worried something happened to you." Vietnam said as she stood up from the couch and straightened her dress. "Thailand was about to go check up on you." she pointed at the grinning man standing beside her.

Philippines smiled, "I'm really sorry."

**Two hours later...**

"That idiot America," she murmured, downing her tenth shot of vodka. She was getting light headed and she also thought she should stop already so she wouldn't have to bother the other nations who have to go home with her. She leaned back on the couch, letting the bitter taste fade away from her mouth. Indonesia was sitting next to her looking worried but didn't show any sign of wanting to stop her. Brunei and Laos were already snoozing side by side on the other end of the semi-circular couch, Vietnam and Thailand went to dance, Malaysia had gone flirting with girls and the others she wasn't too sure where they ran off to. "If only he wasn't such a superpower I'm not even going to consider being near him..."

Indonesia furrowed his eyebrows. That was a first, coming from Philippines herself. He had no idea she hid some kind of grudge towards America. "You didn't mention anything about that. Why?"

"He's a jerk. A great big horrible lying jerk." she hissed, forsaking the shot glass, she drank straight and hard from the bottle.

Indonesia tried his best not to roll his eyes in hopelessness at his little sister. Seriously, she should have forgotten about that bit of their lives, he was sure America didn't really mean what happened back then. And seeing that her relationship with America is the closest she was than any other country, she should give him some slack. "You know how it really was, Philippines, he did not know what his boss did back then."

"Yeah..but he acted upon it anyway...that jerk..."

"Phili-,"

"And he thinks I'm going to be fine with that? Hah?!?"

"He's no-,"

"And you know what? That bastard thinks that I'm just going to melt easily if he saves me!!!"

"Well, you kind of did melt b-,"

"That's the fucking problem! He does that heroic act of his and he has my heart under his feet! Why the hell?!?!"

"You're in love with hi-,"

She slammed the vodka bottle hard on the table, startling Brunei and Laos wake. "Damn! NO! I've had enough with that bullshit since the 1890's!"

Indonesia felt an oncoming headache...he wrenched the vodka bottle from her grasp and took a long swig from it..."You're certainly doing it now," he quickly chased it with water.

"I'm not! I'm keeping our relationship on a whole non-personal level! It's purely business!" she wasn't looking straight at him as she told him rather animatedly with her arms swinging in front of her. She remembered that she just invited Alfred to dinner on Friday night. _That_ was not purely business. But no need to tell Indonesia _that_.

"Ooohh...are you talking about America again?" Brunei intruded, wide awake and opening a vodka bottle in front of her. "Did you hook up with him finally?" she let out a squeal when Philippines chucked at empty bottle at her but missed. "Hah! You missed!" she stuck out her tongue playfully.

"You've hooked up with who?" Laos opened his own liquor. "I didn't know you were particularly interested in anybody..."

Brunei nudged him in the arm, "You should see her during world meet-," she ducked another bottle, "-ings, you'd think she'd jump any second."

"I DO NOT!" Philippines was fuming now, "And what do you mean by 'jump' him?! I don't jump people! That's not how ladies should act!"

"When was the time you acted like a proper lady?" Laos asked mockingly.

"And get this Laos, she keeps his photo under her pillow back home. She's gaga over him!" Brunei acted as if she was saying reliable information. Philippines was not able to throw another bottle at her because Indonesia had secretly cleared the table when she was speaking. Only the unopened bottles were present and Indonesia was sure Philippines never liked to waste so the bottles remained to be drank.

"Well, I don't. Honestly, why do you even think that? I mean, isn't he kind of unreachable?"

"Yes, we all know he's an idiot and he's probably sleeping around since he's fourteen, but who knows, maybe he'll be serious with you." Brunei took a long swig from her own drink and wiped her mouth with the back of her arm ignoring the icy glares Philippines throws at her.

"America's as pure as everyone else!" she cringed when everyone at her table stopped and stared at her with raised eyebrows, she swallowed nervously, "I mean…we all probably haven't gotten-," they stared. She gasped. "Oh my god! I can't believe this! Why haven't you told me?" she looked at Indonesia, "E-even you?!" she can't fathom how her sweet innocent dear big brother could look so innocent. Brunei finally closed her mouth and let out a mocking laugh.

"You mean, you actually got out of World War II a virgin?! My God! I was so sure you were screwing around with America for the past 60 years!" she giggled and threw herself upon the other South-east Asian nation. Philippines was simply horrified.

"Y-you thought we were what?" she suddenly felt weak as Brunei gave her a crushing hug.

Laos pried Brunei from his neighbor and smirked. "Nah, we're just kidding with you. Didn't know you would fall for that…"

"Really?!?" she looked like a child, "Indonesia?" her brother nodded absentmindedly.

"Geez, Philippines, what's the big deal?" Laos picked up another bottle of vodka. The music suddenly got louder and livelier and Vietnam and Thailand finally came back to their table as well as Malaysia when the girls he was flirting with went home.

"That was so tiring. Pass." Vietnam pointed at the vodka bottles on the opposite side of the table. Indonesia tossed her one. "What were you talking about?" she sat next to Thailand who was cleaning his fogged glasses with a tissue.

"Oh, just Philippines colorful love life~" Philippines quickly emptied her bottle and chucked it at Brunei who successfully dodged it again. Indonesia handed her another one.

Malaysia looked at the growing pile of bottles that littered the whole floor around them. He looked worried. "Hey guys, I just counted twenty bottles. Who drank those?" he pointed at the half-smashed bottles on the floor, most of them close to where Brunei was sitting.

Brunei and Philippines pointed at each other accusingly with matching glares.

"Girls, girls…just ease on the drink, we have an early flight tomorrow." Malaysia said but did not say anything when both women opened another bottle.

Brunei smirked. "Ooohh…are you challenging me, little girly?" she raised her bottle against the other.

Philippines sneered. "I'm older than you, you little twat." she toasted her bottle with Brunei's then drank straight from the bottle at the same time.

Three more bottles each later, Philippines and Brunei were pole dancing on opposite sides of the stage, clearly trying to outdo each other in a showdown...they were really just supposed to sing a duet when dancing to the beat of the song seemed needed and here they are, forgetting the song since they're too smashed to sing to the lyrics. France, who automatically appeared out of thin air when the two very drunk female countries stepped on the dance floor, was having a good time running to and fro between the two oblivious ladies, dirty dancing along with them. Indonesia, Vietnam and Thailand all had facepalm expressions as they watched their two fellow ASEAN nations, debating whether it was a good time to stop them before they brought more shame on themselves. Malaysia and Laos were among the crowd of males crowding and cheering in front of the stage. Laos seemed to be videotaping the whole event.

Philippines let out a woot, pulled on her hair ties and shrugged off enough of America's jacket to expose her shoulders as she danced away from the pole and started dirty dancing with France who was more than happy to be her partner when Brunei patted him on the back and the look in her eyes said that she won't lose the fight. Francis swore it was one of the happiest moments of his life, two of the most beautiful female countries in the world vying for his attention.

"Let's put this on the big screen next world meeting!" Malaysia laughed. "Go Philippines!! America's eyes would fall out when he sees what you're doing with his jacket!!!"

* * *

**June 1570-September 1762 - Manila**

**Silent tears fell from her brown eyes as the conquistadors burned down her last kingdom.**

The little girl stood at the end of the prow, where she always had mutely watched the Spanish conquistadors subdue her people and claim her land, island by island. Indeed, what they were doing could also be to her benefit, they told her, she was a collection of different kingdoms, sultanates and rajanates and there was no true authority encompassing the islands but she loved the diversity nevertheless. She just wished the colonizers had been gentle, because they weren't, they were hurting her with each battle they won. Only Spain would notice the little cuts and scrapes she receives at the end of every fight her people lost. Being that she was never antagonized by other countries before, she was deathly afraid when the wounds just started appearing on her small body. Spain taught her all the things she didn't know about herself and in return, she trusted him.

She used to believe that the competing thalassocracies were strong, but that the Spaniards used the fact that they were divided and only cared for themselves against them that they were defeated so easily. Spain was a better fighter in more ways than one. And she was glad he really was as nice as he treated her the night he found her five years ago.

After Spain gave her a name, he took her to his huge ship and introduced her to his crew who gladly welcomed her. One of his crewmen picked her up and held her high in the air and they all laughed when she cried in fright. Spain, whilst laughing, quickly took her back from his crew and carried her again in his arms. The little girl dried her tears, pouted and slapped him across the face, which probably didn't hurt because the man just smiled warmly at her. Her heart skipped a beat, and she puffed her cheeks, burying her face in the crook of his neck to hide her embarrassment. Spain chuckled.

That night, wine and food were feasted on as celebration for the successful start of the colonization of the rich islands. Spain had claimed her for his king, Phillip II, heck, he even named her after him. When the party was over, Spain let her sleep beside him in his bed after he gave her a clean set of clothes much like the ones she usually wore.(okay, for my lack of imagination, let's just say that she's wearing white clothes just like America when he was found by England...)

Las Islas Filipinas....all her life, she never expected to be given her own name this way. She regretted scowling whenever Uncle China jokingly called her "Ma'i" or "Lui Sung" and Malaysia would tease her about it and Indonesia would smirk at her. She berated herself for sulking over her names...she shouldn't be wishing that someone would call her "Ma'i" or that Malaysia be teasing her right now. Las Islas Filipinas...now that she thought about it, Ma'i was definitely cuter...the name she had when she had freedom. How she wished to see Uncle China and her friends now.

"Are you alright?"

She looked in surprise at him. She understood that! He spoke her language! She nodded, finding comfort in hearing her own language being used on her. At last, a comprehensible word from the foreigners!

Spain let out a soft sigh, turning to his side, resting his head on his outstretched arms and with his other hand, stroked the little girl's hair softly, pulling her closer to face him. He had found notes on his table one of his explorers had given him, containing some two hundred words from this islands' language that were frequently used. He spent at least two hours looking up the exact translation on what he wanted to say to the little girl since he saw her. And he was glad that was just fine. He was wondering if he had scared her so much she went mute, since she had not uttered a single word ever since he brought her in. It appears she just doesn't know what to say.

"Do not be afraid. I would not hurt you." he said fairly slowly, unsure if he really got it correct. He waited for the little girl in his arms to speak but she just nodded again, but this time, she was smiling.

"Sleep now, little princess." Spain said and gave her a kiss on the forehead, she cringed when he got closer but relaxed when she felt that it was just a harmless peck. She just nodded again and closed her eyes, realizing just how tired she really was. She felt Spain continue stroking her hair, eventually making her fall asleep faster.

The very next day, Spain had her baptized and she had to reluctantly embrace the Catholic faith. Spain also gave her a human name.

"Clara Zarita de los Reyes." he excitedly called her, "It means 'bright little princess of the kings'!"

Aside from the island hopping they did as part of the colonization, not much happened within the last five years that she spent with Spain. Well, except for that one time when, a guy named Portugal, arrived in one of their temporary residences in Cebu one day and demanded that she be handed over to him. She could not recall what exactly they were talking about since Spain told her to leave them be, but well, she eavesdropped secretly and she caught on something like the Pope dividing the world in two so that Spain and Portugal won't have to fight each other over colonies and that _she_ is on Portugal's _side_ of the map so he could rightfully claim the land as his colony. Despite that Portugal was right, Spain did not hand her over. The other man was pissed off and stormed out of the house. When she asked Spain what the man wanted, he smiled and told her the man just wanted to borrow some money but was refused. Clara just shrugged off the matter since Spain most likely would not discuss it with her and she thought that was the last she'll hear of that guy, Portugal.

But no, one night when Spain was away, he went back to his homeland to celebrate the birth of his new prince, Portugal sneaked into their house in Cebu in the middle of the night and successfully carried her off amidst the numerous guards surrounding the place. When Spain came back, Portugal had already blockaded the ports and it took months before Portugal finally withdrew his claim on her since Spain seemed really serious about taking care of the little girl. She started smiling and talking to Spain after that incident.

So that it would be easier to get to her in time, Spain decided to move his conquest of the islands further up north to the Luzon islands and eventually, they reached Manila.

After defeating Rajah Soliman, burning down Manila, and successfully occupying it, Spain officially declared Manila as her new capital, due to the natural harbor and rich lands that surround the city that could supply it with produce. So that she'll be better protected whenever he was away, Spain built a massive wall around the city, based on the designs of a star fort, to keep out hostile native revolts and raiding Chinese sea pirates. He also put cannons and soldiers on every bastion on the wall to defend against naval warfare. He also forbade the Chinese traders and majority of the Christian natives to live inside the walled city but they could only enter during certain times.

The wall was completed in 1606, totally surrounding 64 hectares of land, and with the influx of Peninsulares from mainland Spain, the construction of hospitals, universities and churches to cater to these people were inevitable. Spain and Filipinas settled in the Palace of the Governor, the largest house in the city since it was the official residence of the Spanish Viceroyalty as well as the highest controlling power in the nation. Spain was surprised when he woke up the following day to find a sleeping thirteen-year old girl rather than the four-year old girl he tucked in beside him last night.

"You've gotten more beautiful, Clara." he said as he affectionately patted her head.

She rubbed the sleepiness from her eyes and smiled sweetly at him in return, "Gracias, Padre."

Since that day, Spain never allowed her to go anywhere alone and gave her also a room of her own. Since she was no longer a child, Spain frequently took her to dinner parties hosted by affluent immigrant Spaniards as well as the weekly parties hosted by the most affluent Filipinos living inside the walled city. She went to church every mass, dined with the governor-general every night, learned proper manners and etiquette from tutors Antonio hired for her, play games with the other children living inside the city and generally played the 'nice' daughter part for him when he shows her off to his friends. But never once did he take her from the walls. And he never allowed her to talk to a single Filipino alone, even the maids inside the house were not allowed to talk to her.

"It's dangerous out there, you might get hurt." he always said when she would ask to go out of the city. And even accompanying him outside was impossible. Every time he would go out, she watched his horse as it galloped, taking him to faraway places she'll never be able to go to. She knew there were lots more of Spaniards leaving outside the walls. She wanted to see whether outside was better for her countrymen. As time passed by, the feeling that the walled city was constricting around her felt more and more evident until she refused to even go outside the Governor's Palace anymore.

That was when the wounds and scrapes started appearing on her body again but there wasn't news of any revolt or attack from the natives against Spain and her father never mentioned anything about those subjects to her. As far as she knew, the colony was peaceful.

One of the only joys she takes was Spain's-her father's- company. Whenever Spain finds ample time for her (he spends all of his free time whenever he's around on her) he tries to teach her bits of his own language. He had long mastered hers and they used it to communicate with each other. When in the presence of important people, Spain spoke his own language. But sometimes, she wondered if Spain was hiding something from her. He never told her anything about himself, aside from what his kings or queens were ordering them to do. It finally occurred to her that Spain never told her anything about the world. But nevertheless, she adored him, the man who always smiled at her.

Spain chuckled when he came home once and Philippines immediately came and sat on his lap. "Did you miss me, my dear little Clara?"

Philippines put her arms around his shoulders and pressed herself closer. "You always leave me. Next time, please take me with you. It's lonely here~!" she whined.

Spain just smiled at her and stroked her long black hair. "But you're so beautiful, Padre is afraid men will steal you when they see how pretty you are."

She pouted. "That can't be, Padre. No matter what happens, I'll always love you!"

Spain chuckled. She really can't possibly mean what she's saying but nevertheless, the conviction in her eyes as she said that made him swell with pride. Spain never really liked leaving her most of the time alone and even thought about just taking her with him but he didn't want to take chances of her finding out. Her people were revolting from all around the archipelago, and Spain had to go around trying to subdue them before they get big enough to reach Clara's ears. Limahong's, a chinese pirate lord, attacks almost reached Manila if he hadn't arrived in time to stop it. As far as Clara knew, everything was quiet and her people were taking the colonization in a good way. Spain wanted this little daughter of his to never change and stay on his side so he made a city surrounded with walls for her, so Clara would be safe. He never allowed the natives to talk to her, except the rich nobility, since, while they are not as oblivious as Clara on the state of the nation, they don't really have anything to complain about since the Spaniards treated them differently than the common people.

Spain stayed in their house for two weeks before leaving again.

"I'm going back to my homeland since my friend called for me. I'll be back as soon as I can." he kneeled down in front of her when she started crying and put her hands around his neck.

"Take me with you! I don't want to be stuck in this place without you! Please, Padre, por favor?"

"I'm sorry, Clara, but I can't...don't cry...when I come back, I'll give you lots of presents! So be a good girl and wait here, okay? And listen to what the Governor-general tells you, understand?"

The girl nodded weakly, fresh tears falling from her eyes at the prospect of lonely days without Spain to talk to again. Spain smiled warmly at his 'daughter' and gave her a kiss on the forehead. "Wait for me?" he said. She nodded again. He left without saying 'goodbye' again.

One month later, Clara Zarita de los Reyes found herself looking at Arthur Kirkland for the first time.

* * *

NOTES:

I don't know when Spain had control of Italy Romano. I checked wikipedia and I think it was about the same time as the Philippines also, give of take a few years. I'm not really sure so just bear with the story cause this is how I'm planning to pursue things further.

Throughout the three centuries that Spain colonized Philippines, there were many revolts erupting all around the archipelago but since people were still divided, they were subdued too easily.

And I think it's kind of true that Spaniards treat rich Filipino nobility as their almost equal, and traders, farmers and workers and common people something akin to slaves. And the rich Filipinos never really cared, except for a few, about their fellow countrymen, sadly, they also sometimes treat common Filipinos like the Sopaniards does. Did I get that right?

This fic do not really stick to the timeline...that's hard to do but i'm trying my best.

And I think I saw somewhere that even though Spain is caring towards lovino, he is stern towards his other colonies...but looking at how Spain took care of lovi,,i don't know how to make him act stern! So he's affectionate to clara too! and only to Clara coz he thinks of her as his own daughter!

Is Spain overly affectionate?


	3. Joan Of Arc of Ilocandia

**September 1762 – October 1763**

She awoke before dawn, breaking in cold sweat. She panted and looked around her nervously. It was still completely dark. She let herself fall back on the bed, curling on her sides, tears falling yet again from her eyes. A month ago, she learned that Spain was engaged in war against some nations near his own homeland. She was glad that he took the time to still see her when he was already in the midst of war and still pretended to be happy for her sake when he's worried about the war. She just hoped he got back in time to save his own nation.

She imagined Spain lying helpless in a bloody battlefield, his enemies gaining down on him. Philippines jumped from her bed and knelt in front of the window directly facing the Manila Cathedral outside.

"Dear God, please take care of my Padre since I wish to see him again. Forgive me for this selfish request of mine, I'm sure my Padre's enemies prayed for victory too. Amen." She made the sign of the cross before returning to her bed and falling asleep immediately.

She was woken up by cannons firing relentlessly in the distance. In the next few hours, she silently watched again as her city was yet again being conquered and burned.

Manila was in a state of emergency, people took to hiding in their houses, the traders who went in freely from outside had stayed away from Manila and only Spanish and Filipino soldiers were running to and fro in the streets trying to defend the city from the heavy battery assaults by the British with much to no avail. Because the 200 year old fortifications around Manila has not improved much since it was built and that Spain never contemplated much on other European nations attacking Manila...the bastions, despite being manned by cannons, were not providing much protection. Especially since the commanding officer was the inexperienced Archbishop Rojo. Rojo was currently serving as substitute Governor-General because the last one died and the replacement was stuck somewhere Clara did not have the privilege of knowing.

Before the day was out, the British had successfully breached three Bastions, dried up the ditch separating the walls of Manila from the outside land, and driven the Spaniards from the walls and sat fire to some parts of the town. It was already night time before Clara was sent for by the Real Audencia and taken to Fort Santiago. Clara was led into one of the underground rooms in the garrison where she was ushered in by Rojo who looked worn-out as well as the rest of the men in the room, the members of the Real Audencia who looked after the country aside from the governor-generals.

"We just had a war council, Clara. Sit over here and listen carefully." Rojo said, beckoning her to sit down on a chair at the end of the table as the other men sat back down on the sides.

"Why would the British even want to take me?" Clara asked before doing what she was told to do.

No one answered. Then one of the men from the Real Audencia moved towards her and knelt down to her level. He smiled reassuringly at her and patted her on the head. "Clara, you are the greatest Spanish fortress in the Western Pacific. Spain is currently at war with the British. It seems they are using the war as an excuse to take over you." the man said calmly.

It seemed the man shouldn't have told her that when Rojo exclaimed, "Señor Anda! She does not need to know that! She's a mere child! She won't understand!"

Clara chose not to speak. The bishop was scary when he was fuming with anger.

Anda let out a sigh and looked at the Archbishop in contempt, "She has every right to know, Señor Rojo. She's more than capable of understanding our current status, what are you afraid of anyway?"

Rojo slammed his hand on the table, startling Clara and making her run to the chair she was assigned to sit in, Rojo did not say anything back and Anda went back to sit on his chair with the other members of the Audencia, a self-satisfied smirk on his face.

One of the men from the Real Audencia stood up and said, "It is final then." he then motioned for Señor Anda to stand. "The Real Audencia hereby appoints Señor Anda as Lieutenant Governor and Visitor-General to the Philippines. He is thereby expected to assume necessary action as of the end of this council." he sat back down.

Anda moved to the front of the table where Clara was seated and stood at her side, "I'll be leaving for Bulacan tonight and I'll be taking Señorita Clara with me. I'll reorganize our troops there and take this place back." he said before taking Clara by the wrist, promptly dismissing the council and immediately leaving the room amidst the angry protests from Rojo. Once outside, Anda, Clara and some soldiers rode towards the Governor's palace to get substantial documents and secure the treasury. When they were about to go out of the palace, Clara broke away from Anda's grasp and refused to leave Manila.

"You can't stay here, who knows what the British will do to you once they find you! I can't let them harm you." Anda exclaimed.

Clara shook her head, "I can't leave Manila right now."

Anda stomped his feet in exasperation and hissed some Spanish curses Clara pretended not to hear. Anda turned away before looking back again at the little girl in the eye, "If this is about your people, put it aside for now. We'll be going back here eventually with more soldiers and fight back." the girl shook her head again. Anda stared at her long before sighing in defeat, "Fine, I'll let you stay here." he knelt in front of her again, "No matter what happens, don't try to be brave, just go with them for now so they won't hurt you. I'll be back as soon as I can so take care of yourself, understand? Your Padre should be back soon so just stay put, okay?" Clara nodded silently before embracing the older man as a goodbye. Anda smiled, stood up and ruffled the girl's hair, "I'll be back for you, I promise."

After seeing Anda out, Clara went back into the now deserted house. The next day, Rojo and the rest of the Real Audencia were captured and Clara was officially signed over in surrender to their British captors.

**0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

Arthur Kirkland grinned in triumph as he strolled inside Fort Santiago in Manila, the very center of Spanish Philippines. Manila, aside from being the greatest Spanish fortress in the West Pacific was also one of the key cities in Spanish trade being the center of commerce in the East due to the Galleon trades. And the best part about Arthur colonizing Philippines was that Spain does not know about it! Arthur basked in self-satisfaction as he walked down the dungeons where his soldiers were keeping Spain's alleged 'daughter' captive. Well, now he'll see what Spain finds so interesting about this far-off country that he'll even leave his cute little Romano alone just to visit.

He wasn't fully prepared for the sight that met his eyes as he stood in front of her cell. She was sitting against the metal bars of her cell, clad in ragged clothing, long black hair cascading down her back, a dirty face and yet, England swallowed, she looked ravishingly beautiful. No wonder Spain would see her every now and then…she was achingly beautiful! And the way her soft brown eyes looked at him innocently as he unconsciously pressed closer to the bars wasn't helping him out of his trance.

She stood up when Arthur felt his face hit the cold metal bars. He cleared his throat, backed away a step and fixed himself. "What's your name?" he asked.

Clara was trying to do exactly what Señor Anda had told her to do when she refused to flee the capital, she went with the British soldiers silently and never fought back. Even when they threw her unceremoniously into this dirty cell two weeks ago, did not give her a change of clothes and fed her rotten food(though she saw the British soldiers eating them as well, she also wondered why they would even serve rotten food warm). "I am Clara. Clara Zarita de los Reyes."

England raised one of his thick eyebrows in amusement. There was not the slightest hint of terror in her voice. He was amazed she wasn't trembling right now in front of the British Empire. 'Trying hard to be tough, stupid girl?' he thought as he unlocked her cell and pushed it open. "Get out, you're coming with me." he walked away, motioning for her to follow him. She followed obediently like she was supposed to.

She squinted and covered her eyes when they walked out into the sun. It had been two weeks since she last saw daylight. And then there was Uncle Yao waving at her from the distance. Tears fell from her eyes as she ran to hug the older man. "Uncle Yao! Uncle Yao! I missed you so much!" she wrapped her arms tightly around his waist and buried her face in his clothes as she cried in joy. She hadn't seen him since she entered Manila.

"I missed you too, Ma'i. Or should I call you Clara aru?" China gently stroked the sobbing girl's hair until she stopped trembling from crying. Spain had forbidden him from seeing Clara so he just got his traders to spy on how the little girl was doing and contemplated many times to come rescue the caged girl from the walls but Spain never let his traders stay in the city for too long in case some ideas get into Clara.

"Call me Ma'i please." Clara almost begged.

"You missed that, do-Hey! Where are you taking her aru?" China said as he tried to grab the girl back from Arthur who was dragging the poor girl towards a carriage. He followed.

"Well, she's mine now! I think Spain was afraid going from this city would corrupt his little girl, well then, that's what I'm doing. That git dared to wage war against the great British Empire! This'll teach him for siding with that long haired faggot!" he yelled as he pushed Clara into the carriage and closed the door after him once he entered. "Since you helped me a wee bit, I'll let you trade freely inside the city." he told China who was fuming outside the carriage with his arms folded in contempt.

Arthur huffed in annoyance. "Look, just go do your thing okay? Trade or eat or do drugs or something. She'll be safe with me!" and with that, the carriage left with Clara screaming "UNCLE YAO!!!" over and over again.

China rolled his eyes in exasperation and left for the port. "Might as well eat aru."

Arthur took her to the Governor's Palace where he was also residing and ordered the Filipina maids to clean the girl and give her fresh clothes. Arthur went to the dining room to wait and have his tea. He was reading a book and was about to sip his tea when Clara entered the room, fully cleaned. Arthur closed his eyes, 'My God! Stupid girl's going to give every man a run for his money!' he thought. He stood up and led her by the hand to the dining table and pulling out a chair for her. She whispered thank you to him and the maids flooded the room bringing with them varieties of Spanish and Filipino food.

He quirked an eyebrow when the girl breezed through her prayers and crying out in glee when she tasted the warm food. "Didn't they feed you anything in jail?"

Clara shook her head in response and continued eating happily that tears welled up in the corners of her eyes at the sight and smell of healthy food. "They were trying to poison me with those hard burned things they kept giving me…I never knew they made weapons like that. I really wished they'd just decapitate me instead."

Arthur twitched, "It's a scone…" he felt like strangling the little girl for scorning his food but the sudden bout of acting like a proper gentleman in front of the dining table prevented him.

"Right! That's what they called it! I better warn Padre about that when he comes back."

Arthur slammed his hand on the table in annoyance. Clara just blinked at him. "You, stupid girl! Why do you like that tomato bastard so much? Are you even aware what he's doing to your people?"

Clara cocked her head to the side in confusion, "Padre's taking care of them just fine. At least, that's what he'd been telling me. He never allowed me to talk to them unless he's present. And I haven't heard complaints so I think they have no problems adjusting to the colonization. Life's been better for them, I guess. There are hospitals, universities, churches and ports. And I'm prospering tremendously from the Galleon trades! What could I complain about? I could never do that on my own until Padre came along and took over!"

Arthur had a facepalm expression as he stared openly at the girl opposite him. Of all the countries he had encountered and the colonies he had taken over, she must have beat them all in terms of stupidity. He knows naivety when he sees it but this is all fucking too much! How the heck did that idiotic Iberian bastard manage to break this little nation's spirit and rebuild it again to his liking?! He must have doted on her too much that she never suspected what the hell he was doing behind her back. The Spaniards were practically slaughtering her people, stealing their land, raping their women and working their men to death! England found himself smirking, "Are you serious?"

She looked at him as if he was the stupid one, nodded once, and went back to focus on her food.

'Perfect…'Arthur thought as he leaned back in his chair, a smile curling on his lips as he silently observed the girl, interlinking his fingers in front of him and finally saying, "I see Spain has taught you well," Clara could swear there was an evil glint in his eyes when he continued, "Now let me teach you what he did not."

She could barely sleep that night after seeing the Briton grinning evilly at her at dinner. She half-expected him to come bursting into her room any minute and stab her to death while she's sleeping so she did her best to stay awake even when he said that she should get all the sleep she could get.

"Oh Padre, please get back here soon. There's a madman outside my room." she prayed as she laid on her side on the bed, staring out the window, waiting for the sun to come out since it was already breaking dawn.

"Who's the madman?"

"KYAAA!! Padre, he's in my room! My room!!!" Clara, in shock, fell out of the bed rather harshly in a hurry to get away from the source of the voice. Arthur was standing on the other side of her bed with his arms crossed in front of him, a foot tapping the floor impatiently as he stared at the girl lying spread-eagled on the floor on the other side.

Clara waited for her heart to stop throbbing harshly against her ribcage and for the adrenaline rush to subside. She did not even hear this man opening her door and there he was, close enough to kill her with his bare hands, or maybe kill her with fright. "What do you want now?" she asked as she sat up and proceeded to crawl to a dark corner of the room away from Arthur.

Arthur stopped tapping his foot and tossed her the small bag he had laid down on her bedside when the girl had finally situated herself at her corner. There was a small 'ouch!' sound before, "You came to my room to give me…clothes?" she asked curiously as she held up the 'kimona' in her hands. That was when she noticed that Arthur was wearing the same clothes as normal Filipinos, a cotton long-sleeved shirt and brown pants with the ends rolled halfway up to his knees and plain slippers. And a straw hat to hide his blonde hair.

"Just…just put it on! I'll be waiting outside so hurry up or I'll have you parading around dressed in your nightgown, you stupid girl!" and with that, he stomped out of the room. Clara waited until she could no longer hear his stomping before quickly yanking out all the clothes from the small bag and hastily throwing them on. She squealed in glee as she looked herself up in the mirror when she was done. How she longed to wear the same clothes as the Filipinas! The simple 'baro't saya'! With matching bandana and sandals! It was the first time she thought she looked good in colonial clothes. She twirled and twirled in front of the mirror, delighting in the way the skirt swayed with her every move.

"Are you purposely stalling?" Arthur had trudged back again to the room when he figured that she was taking too long to come out just to find her dancing in front of the mirror. Though he would never admit that seeing her there kinda turned him on.

She sighed in despair. How she wanted to hit her head against the wall hard enough to knock herself out. This man should stop speaking out of nowhere! She slowly turned around in hopelessness and let the man drag her by the hand and into a waiting majestic white horse outside the palace. Some British soldiers were securing the knots of a bag at the back of the saddle. He picked her up and placed her on the horse before climbing up and taking over the reigns and kicking the horse to a full run.

She fell out of her own little world when she noticed that they were approaching the tunnel that led out of Manila. She gasped in horror as British soldiers opened the large gates for them to pass through. They gave a little salute to Arthur and closed the gates after them. She suddenly felt faint. "Wait! Where are you taking me? Take me back! Take me back! Now!" she started beating his chest with her fists as she wriggled in her seat but his strong arms held her in place.

"Shut up! We're going north!" Arthur said, kicking the horse to run faster. He smirked at the look of abject horror on her pretty face.

She peeked from his shoulders and fixed her eyes in the general direction of Manila until she could no longer see the towering pinnacles of the Manila Cathedral. She sincerely prayed to God that Spain wouldn't come back soon and catch her disobeying his orders. But deep inside the recesses of her mind, she thanked Arthur for taking her out of her cage for the first time in two hundred years.

It was already midday before Arthur decided to stop for a rest and Clara had already changed her opinion of the man, she hated him. He just laughed when, upon stopping under the shade of a large tree, Clara slipped out from his arms to make a dash for stable ground when her legs seized up and was about to fall face first to the ground if Arthur didn't make a quick grab at her waist. Damn, her bottom hurts so much! She had never ridden a horse that long before! And she really wasn't in a comfortable position all throughout their journey! She glared at him as he slung her over one of his shoulders like dead meat and carried her towards the shade of the huge mango tree just outside a small town. He put her down unceremoniously in a sitting position against the thick tree trunk, and continued laughing at her when she yelped in pain and glared at him some more.

"Rough ride, stupid girl?" he chuckled, making his way back to the horse and tying it close enough to the river so it could drink and graze at the same time. He returned to where she was standing with her back against the tree, a visible scowl on her face. He dug into the bag and tossed her a water flask and some fruits. He contemplated on giving her some of his scones but decided against it when she abruptly backed away from him when he fished it out of the bag…but not after telling her off for a good five minutes about the greatness of his cooking.

They ate in silence, enjoying the cool breeze passing through them, the sound of the branches and leaves of the mango tree swaying with the wind, the noise of carriages passing by the dirt road a few meters away from them. After he finished eating, Arthur sat with his back resting against the tree and propped both of his hands behind his head and got ready for a nap when Clara rested her head on his bended knees and softly murmured, "Padre always let me sleep like this when we get too tired to get back inside the palace for siesta." and she closed her eyes.

Arthur felt a growing irritation at the mention of Spain yet again in a patronizing manner. Why the hell can't this stupid girl forget about that Iberian bastard when she should even consider herself lucky that Arthur took her out of the bricked birdcage that tomato bastard trapped her in? Well, screw that bastard. Arthur would make sure he's never going to meet the same sweet innocent little 'daughter' he had left behind. He'll make sure Clara never looked at Spain the same way ever again. "Shut up and sleep."

They were startled awake by the sound of anguished cries and shouts. England's eyes widened when he saw what was happening by the road and debated whether to let Clara see what was happening or not. But he was too late, Clara was already wide awake and looked like she wanted to scream but no sound came out from her mouth. England sighed and gently put one hand over her eyes and pulled her into his lap with the other. He felt the hot tears seep down his arm as she cried in horror at the cruelty that just passed by. A Spanish Guardia Civil on horseback was dragging behind with a long rope tied to the feet a bloodied corpse of a middle-aged man, with what seemed to be his widow running in despair after them, begging the Guardia for forgiveness. They were going into the small town.

Clara's choked screams were making England's heart ache…and to think that he'd seen much more gruesome things in battle before. He never pitied this much before. He waited patiently for her to tire herself from crying and when she was finally asleep, he removed his hand from her eyes and picked her up, climbed back on his horse and cradling her securely in his arms as he continued their journey up north. This girl better prepare herself for more. She needed to learn all this.

England wondered if he had accidentally broken the girl so early on in their journey to her northern province. She barely spoke a word for the past two days! Arthur can't tell the difference between lugging a mute Clara and lugging someone dead instead. And she wasn't eating enough that Arthur was starting to suspect that she really was trying to be dead. Witnessing that incident wasn't really in the list of what he intended to teach her about her people. But oh well, he kinda wondered what her opinion of her beloved Padre had morphed into now. They finally arrived at their target location, Ilocandia.

"We've arrived. This place is called Ilocandia and is under British provision until recently." he said as they rode through the busy streets of the town. Clara did not bother to respond, the deadpan expression on her face betraying nothing of whatever she was thinking or feeling to him. "I appointed one of your people to govern this province under me."

She looked at him. 'Finally!' England almost jumped in joy, 'she's coming back to life!' he thought and continued, "His name is Diego Silang. I bet you don't know him."

She just glared at him as she picked up the mocking tone in his voice when he said it. Well, she really never bothered knowing her people. But after seeing that incident two days ago, the prospect of a Filipino-governed community roused much interest in her. Maybe this time, this would be a less harsh and happier town for the people she had forsaken long ago. "Tell me more. Why did you let him lead?"

England saw some Guardia civil in the distance and steered the horse to another road before Clara took notice of them as her eyes wandered around, admiring the structures. "Diego wanted to replace Spanish functionaries here with native officials and volunteered to head the Ilocanos to a fight against me when those desperate Spanish administrators transferred powers instead to the local Catholic bishop who dumbly rejected Diego's offer of help. Diego's group attacked them instead and imprisoned the priest. He then associated himself with me and I appointed him to be governor on my behalf and promised him with military reinforcement in case the Spanish fight back. But really, there was no need for me to send some of my good men here."

He paused for Clara to digest the information and prepared himself for questions. "Where is he now? Diego Silang, that is. I want to meet him."

England smirked at that. He had anticipated that and he was ready with the answer. "You can't. He's dead." And he felt a kind of sick satisfaction when her face visibly paled. "No, I did not kill him. He was assassinated by one of his friends."

"A-assassinated?! Someone paid him to do it?"

"Yes."

"Who?"

"The church authorities."

"…"

"In Manila."

She gasped in apprehension. "When did that happen?!"

"An hour before I went to your room, I was informed that Diego was killed by one of the friends who accompanied him to Manila. I had met Diego Silang before I picked you up from Fort Santiago. He's just 32, quite young, don't you think so?" there was a mocking tone in his voice again. But Clara did not speak again until Arthur stopped outside a local bar for lunch.

They entered the crowded place and ordered some food before sitting down in a table beside a table full of merry Guardia Civils. England wondered if Clara did not notice the guards or if she's just doing a hell of a good job in ignoring them when he heard snatches of what they were being all happy and noisy about. He praised himself for being multilingual.

"-they even hid behind a woman! Those damn _Indios_ sure are useless!" one of them said out loud, stressing on the 'indios' part so that all the Filipinos in the bar could hear. There was a huge amount of tension in the air as the Filipinos kept silent and just let the drunk guards talk. England could see some of them clenching their fists, fingering their bolos, or just trying to finish their food fast to get the hell out of there faster.

"Well, the bitch gets what she deserves! Guess what the tribunal gave her? A fucking public execution! They are hanging her and all of her men at the town plaza tonight!"

"Serves them right for siding with those fucking Brits! You fucking Indios should very well know that the Spanish empire owns you! You should consider yourselves blessed that we did not exterminate each and every one of you lowlife scums! Blame your demon-worshipping ancestors for being such fucking weaklings! This country should rot in hell!" he stood up and started beating up one of the Filipinos near him for added fun. The other Filipinos in the bar kept their ground and tried to ignore the helpless cries from one of their own. They all hung their heads low like the defeated shamed people they were.

England did not notice Clara slip out of the bar until she was already at the door. He left some money on the table to compensate for the ordered food and immediately ran after her. She was running too fast that even England had a hard time catching her since his stomach was full and the resulting side stitch prevented him from running at full speed. He finally caught up with her when she ran into an alley with a dead end. He grabbed her by the hand and forced her to look at him. She was crying again. "Don't take it to heart. Those men are not in their right mind."

She seemed to crack at that, "Don't take it to _heart_?!? Those men were _crazy_?!? No!! What they said was the truth!! I should rot in hell!!!"

"Calm down…just calm down…will ya-,"

"Do you know what I did when the conquistadors arrived? I willingly went with them! I did not even put up the slightest fight! I instantly forsook my people! I did not even utter a single word of apology! I didn't even shed a single tear for them! You know what I was thinking when Spain burned down the last standing kingdom? I was thinking that _I _will never be free again! That _I_ would be lonely! _I _valued myself far more than I valued these…these people!"

England was having a hard time restraining the girl's hands from tearing at her own hair in grief, "You know where all of these started from?!? I wanted a family!! I loved Spain! I loved every minute that I was with him! I wanted to posses him if not the other way around! I wanted to tie him down to me because I wanted him! I needed him! I gladly traded a million people for that one man I could call my 'father'! I broke my heart for the sake of the man who gave me a name of my own!"

"Clara, please listen-,"

Clara's legs gave out on her and she fell to her knees, hands still in England's grasp. "Let me tell you something, I know everything that Spain did! I sneak into the Governor's office every night to read all the reports that come from all around the colony. The natives were revolting almost every year. A total of 31 revolts and they were all crushed violently by the very man who smiles at me from across my dinner table. I love him! I love him too much! And I can't bring myself to say anything against him when he starts treating me like his daughter! I consoled myself with the fact that Spain treated _me_ differently and far better than the lowlife scum he thinks my people are."

"If everything I ever wanted were against my people then I deserve to fall into the pits of hell! Living this depressingly long life is something I never asked for. When I couldn't grow up when I needed to, lose all my loved ones, suffer wounds I don't even have the slightest ideas about, then everything withers away before my eyes, and then realizing that I'll be going through all that agony again and again because I just can't die. I was already in a cage before Spain came. He understood me, and he never withered before me, he lasted with me and eventually freed me from my own cage even if it meant going into his. At least…I was not trapped alone anymore…"

England just listened and ceased to interfere until Clara had said all she needs to say. He understood her somehow because he too, if he could have chosen, would have wanted to just be a human. To live a short life, to have a limited number of chances and opportunities so he could fully explore all of them. To not restrain from loving since they would all wither the same. To not worry about what a million people would have to eat every famine. To not have to suffer for mistakes that weren't his. To be loved for reasons that were individually his own.

"And now that son of a bitch Guardia Civil decides to rub it all in my face. My every sin that reflected tremendously upon this very country. The pain I brought upon my people for that one moment I tried to be selfish. Two hundred years of oppression…and the next thousand years more I'm willing to overlook in exchange for that someone that would not be lost to me. I'll willingly throw myself into the pits of hell after I die to atone for this but let me stay beside that everlasting man for the rest of my life." she wasn't aware when the tears stopped falling, when her voice stopped quivering, when her eyes went stone cold and her heart froze again.

England refused to look at her as she broke yet again and this time, she might not come back whole anymore. But he can't bear seeing her piece herself back up on her own so he pulled her up in an embrace and whispered softly, "Spain is not the only one in the world who could last forever with you. If you think Spain is all there is, you haven't seen anything yet. Go out into the world and you'll find lots of people like you who would be more than willing to share their lives with you. All of us existed for this same reason. We were all made to share a bond with others even if you think of them as totally unnecessary or major pains in the butt, at the end of the day, you'll be glad you have them. So don't be afraid to go out and discover. See for yourself how great this world is." he let go of her and patted her on the head gently in assurance. "Starting with me." And he held out his hand in front her.

She stared at him long before her face softened and a lone tear escaped from her eyes and she smiled from the bottom of her heart for the first time. England remembered it as the most beautiful smile that had ever been bestowed upon him, more beautiful than the smiles America gave him. She eagerly clasped his hand with both of her own smaller ones and proceeded to hug the older man and give him a kiss on both his cheeks. "Thank you." and never had she meant it more than she did now.

**0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

It seemed that Gabriela Silang, Diego Silang's widow, took charge of the revolt and led the Ilocanos to fight with the Spaniards. They were defeated when the Spaniards fought back with a larger of troop of Kapampangans, another province near Ilocos, and was forced to retreat. Mounted upon a fast horse, she led her troops towards Vigan but was driven back before she fled to Abra where she was captured with about a hundred of her followers and were all scheduled to be summarily executed before sunset at the town plaza for all people to see, as a lesson for rebelling against their Spanish conquerors.

Arthur and Clara hid themselves among the crowds who flocked to watch the gruesome end of one of the most widespread revolts there ever was. The Spaniards seemed to have taken great pleasure in letting Gabriela Silang be the last one to die. Arthur silently wondered how these Filipinas seem to be at their most beautiful at the most difficult and crucial times of their lives, and with Gabriela, at the last moment of her life. The whole crowd was transfixed upon her as she stood there in the baro't saya that she wore to battle for freedom, her beauty radiating amidst the wounds she sustained from her captors. As the executioner tightened the rope around her neck, in her last breath she shouted, "MABUHAY ANG PILIPINAS!!!" before she died with the ghost of a smile on her lips as the last thing she saw was the crowd raising their fists in the air and amidst the echoes of "MABUHAY!!", the last thing she heard was a sweet voice whispering, "Salamat." before she felt no more.

**0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

"Hey, bloody punk, how do I look?" Clara asked as she twirled around in front of the mirror in her new baro't saya. She ditched the tight fitting clothes Spain bought her and wore the loose fitting clothes of her fellow Filipinas, it was more comfortable and convenient to wear, really. They were back again at the Governor's palace in Manila after their little escapade in Ilocandia. The moment they were back, Clara collapsed on her bed and slept for a whole day. While she slept, Arthur went around Manila checking on his troops.

Arthur did not even look at her from his embroidery, 'of course, stupid girl was beautiful as always', "Not too bad." he said and secretly smirked when out of the corner of his eyes he saw her stop twirling and puffing her cheeks in annoyance.

"You did not even spare me a glance. What are you doing to one of my new bandanas anyway?" she glanced over his shoulder but he quickly hid his work from her, pushing her face away from him with his palm.

"Don't disturb me…go to that corner!" he ordered. She puffed her cheeks again and gave him a playful punch before scampering away from him and to the corner he had ordered her to, sitting down on the floor and playing 'sungka' by herself. After winning against herself five straight times, she grabbed a pillow from one of the chairs and hugged it as she slept on the cool wooden floor.

When she woke up three hours later, Arthur was gone.

"Arthur? Where are you?" but her voice just echoed in the large empty palace. Panic grew in her as she searched every room, every terrace, every office…but there was no Arthur. It was when she dropped down in exhaustion at the back the chair he was last sitting in when she happened to glance at the mirror to the left. Her bandana had changed from blue to white. And near the pointed end of the bandana were words perfectly embroidered in red thread.

"Pearl of the Orient Seas." was what she read. Later, she found another one that had "Stupid Girl" embroidered in a much larger font.

And just like that, Arthur Kirkland was gone.

She was fifteen years old when Spain came back after the end of the Seven Years War. During the two years that the British colonized her, they established trade with China and opened Manila's ports to international trade since Spain closed off all other trades with other countries in favor of the Galleon trades with Mexico.

Spain was worried when Clara did not hug him tight when she saw him, no more running with her arms wide open, no more cuddling to him, no more kisses, but her smiles remained and he just blamed the changes at the fact that she had grown up in his absence.

Athur succeeded in changing the way Clara treat Spain. She never told Spain that she went against his orders of not going out of the walled city. But she could not deny the fact that Spain came back home to find a British man sitting in the Governor's office. He ousted all the remaining British troops from the archipelago and promptly went back to Europe to 'kick a certain British ass'. Clara diligently bid her time inside the city, caging herself up again willingly beside Spain who seemed to spend more time with her now (he was getting worried about the sudden bout of stronger revolts since the start of the 19th century).

A hundred years after she met Arthur Kirkland, Clara ran away from home. The year was 1872.

****

**NOTES:**

**-----These bits of history did not happen in merely the space of one month and a week or so. I just shortened the timeline for the sake of this fic because Arthur can't afford to spend that much time on Clara because he's currently fighting the 'Seven Years War' versus Spain and France. Just think that there was an imaginary ceasefire (I don't think they really duke it out every single day of those seven years) and England used it to see Clara (seeing that he only stayed for about a week I think).**

** -----British occupation lasted two years. The Chinese traders supported the British, and some Filipino factions too like Ilocandia. But were opposed using a combined force of Filipino and Spanish.**

**-----Diego Silang was really assassinated by his friend Miguel Vicos after being paid by Church officials…I'm not sure if it was Rojo, but Diego was killed in Manila…and died in his wife's arms, I read that somewhere but I can't remember well. Anda and Rojo are real humans. Well, I think Anda must have been a good person since he was hailed as one of the best Governor-Generals ever dispatched to the colony…Rojo well, he must have been a stern man since he refused to grant Anda the royal seal when Anda proclaimed himself Governor-General while recruiting troops in Bulacan and Bacolor.**

**-----I made up that bit about Gabriela shouting "LONG LIVE THE PHILIPPINES" after remembering something like that included in her live-action story in a tv show called 'BAYANI' I saw when I was little. I'm not sure if that was really just wishful thinking. And Clara whispered, "Thanks" before Gabriela died. **

**------"Pearl of the Orient Seas" is a nickname for the Philippines, kinda Like Japan is "The country of the rising sun" and such. I don't know if Rizal first coined it but oh well, if he did, I borrowed and made Arthur invent it.**

**------The signatories of the Treaty of Paris that officially ended the Seven Years War were not aware that Philippines were being administered as a British colony so it was returned to Spain since there was no other special provision for it. Talk about Arthur 'forgetting' to inform Antonio that he'd taken Clara from under his nose. **


	4. To where the sun shines

Clara silently prayed when she heard the grim tolling of all the bells of all the churches in Manila. It seemed the Archbishop still considered the three of them as priests in their own rights and for that she was thankful. From where she was standing on the prow of a large ship sailing for Hong Kong, she could see the aggregation of people in Bagumbayan and the platform that towered above them where the three priests sat, dead…executed because of her. She crouched under the railings of the ship when she saw Spain standing on the platform, head turning from side to side, and Clara knew that he was looking for her, checking if she was hiding amongst the crowd.

"I'm sorry, Padre. I'm not going back to you anymore." she whispered to herself. She clasped her hands in prayer again when the bells stopped their solemn reverence to the dead priests, "Padre Gomez, Padre Burgos, Padre Zamora, please forgive me for implicating you in this."

And with a new resolve, she stood up and went back to her quarters, she still had one week at sea before she reaches her destination.

**TWO MONTHS PRIOR TO THE EXECUTION…**

Clara thought that she could wait some more for the right time to come. God knows she needs to be free, to get away from Spain. But every time she thought about telling Spain that she wanted to be independent, that she wanted to be on her own, that she does not need him anymore, her courage depletes the moment she sees him smiling at her and how gentle he was.

Then she remembers Gabriela Silang on her dying day and Clara's courage breaks all the more. It had been almost a hundred years since England left her but she remembered everything he taught her, every detail of their conversations and of their short time together as if it all happened yesterday. And all that happened after that, she kept secretly in her heart. She slowly rebuilt the bond she once had with her people, and secretly made friends with all the Filipino soldiers stationed in the walled city. She used her ability as a personified nation to gain the trust of the Filipinos and soon, she was in their full confidence. And with all the patience she held, she bid her time, waiting for the right people to lead her to freedom. But through all this, one problem remained. She still loved Spain.

_Antonio presents her with cute little trinkets he picked up on his travels just for her._

Clara squeezes her eyes shut and thinks of all the atrocities that were being committed against her people.

_Antonio holds her hand so she wouldn't be left behind while they were walking in the busy streets of Manila._

Clara repeated in her mind over and over what Arthur had told her years ago. Spain is not the only one who would care about her like this.

_Antonio buys her another pretty trinket when he thought she wanted it when her gaze fell on it when she really just wanted to look away from him._

Clara's knees gives out on her when she can't berate herself enough anymore.

_Antonio lets her ride on his back until they get home and obviously looking like he enjoyed every minute he was carrying her more than she did._

Clara wanted nothing more but for the ground to swallow her up. There was no use hiding it. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he carried her. No matter how much time passes and no matter how much it pains her to do so, she loves Antonio too much for her own good.

Every step he carried her, she thought, _I'm sorry…I'm sorry…I'm sorry._

_

* * *

_

Clara quickly learned that she'll never get anything done because when she sees Antonio, any plans of wanting to separate from him crumbles to dust in an instant. And soon those thoughts were channeled to thoughts of being with Spain forever. And Clara was glad that at least, she did not feel as strongly about being with Spain forever as she did before Arthur came along. She was sure she did not want to be with Spain for as long as he wants. Because she was also sure that she'll never be free from him.

But everything changed again when she met Maria. Maybe a hundred years into the future she'll think of Maria as the start of her fight for freedom.

Due to an earthquake that destroyed most of Manila's infrastructures in 1869, including the Governor's palace, Antonio had to rebuild everything from scratch. And unfortunately, or fortunately for Clara, the new Governor's residence was outside the walled city. Malacañang Palace was originally a summer house owned by a Spanish aristocrat before it was purchased by the state. The palace is located along the north bank of the Pasig river, still in Manila but outside the perimeter of the walls. Spain gave her the privilege to choose her own room and she picked the room which had a veranda directly above the river.

Maria was the youngest Filipina maid to enter the new palace. She was only a year older than Clara who by then was still fifteen. Because Spain still forbade her to talk to her own people, it took Clara almost three whole months before she talked to Maria for the first time, since she had to wait for Antonio to go back to his homeland. It was the first time she was so anxious for Spain to be gone.

Since then, they were inseparable. Clara attributed it to the fact that Maria's age was close to hers. At first, Clara thought Maria was wary about talking with her but as time passed and she kept pressing for the older girl's company, the wariness disappeared, completely replaced by comfortable friendship. Clara found out later that Maria worked as a maid to pay for her brother's release from prison when he was wrongly accused by a wealthy Spaniard of theft. There had been no trial. Maria's mother died of sickness because the Spanish doctor refused to see her because they can't pay for his services and her father works at an arsenal in Cavite.

"Why didn't he get a trial?" she asked one afternoon, they were doing embroidery at the veranda of her room, watching the passenger ships pass by every now and then. "Isn't that unfair?"

"The Spaniard who accused him happens to be a prominent tax collector and seemed to be in the favor of the Guardia Civil. And most importantly, with us, the Spaniards do not even try to be fair. That's why few Filipinos ever say anything against them because they'd believe a single lie from their own kind than a thousand truths from an Indio." Maria said.

Clara frowned at that. It was depressingly true. That she can't say anything about it hurts her the most. She feels guilty about the fact that she feels elated whenever she hears that Spain treats others like shit whereas he treats her like a princess.

It was through Maria that Clara met Padre Jose Burgos, a Filipino Catholic priest. Padre Jose Burgos was a friend of Maria's father and she visited him at least once a month at the church in Manila where he was stationed. Clara accompanied her once and found herself wanting to see and hear more of the priest's opinions.

Clara had read of him from one of the reports coming to the Governor that she secretly reads at night. Burgos was under the watch of the government for being the defender of the native clergy. He believes that the Catholic Church in the Philippines must be presided over by native priests rather the friars from Spain. His debates over the secularization of the church extended to include questions of race and nationalism.

When she saw Padre Burgos up close, she can't help but laugh. She remembered his face from a few months prior to meeting him here. He was one of the men who serenaded Governor-general Carlos Maria de la Torre as a token of their appreciation of the superb way that he handled the colony. De la Torre was a liberal Spaniard so he was more lenient and gave many reforms that greatly benefited the Filipinos. Clara and Antonio were standing with the overjoyed Governor when they were singing from under his veranda so she had a good look of the men's faces.

"Why won't they let you preside over the Church?" she asked during one of her visits.

"The Spanish friars are firm in their belief that Filipinos could never amount to anything grander than themselves. They discriminate against us because of our brown skin, lack of education which they themselves withheld from us when in truth they are scared that knowledge would make us stronger than them, and lack of experience when they themselves won't give us the chance to prove anything. They trample upon us and say it is our own fault. In a way, maybe it is our own fault that we let them make idiots out of us but that's also why I'm fighting against them. I want them to realize that we are all equal under the eyes of God and nothing gives them the right to enslave others." Burgos said.

Clara kept everything he thought her close to her heart. It was a precious to her as the words Arthur had left her with. That she amounts to something more than this. That she deserves more than all this.

* * *

Clara met Padre Zamora when he was assigned to be her new confessor. Through carefully veiled persuasion (she had no idea what she should confess anyway), she managed to always avert their conversations to those about the cause that Padre Zamora was actively taking part in. Clara learned that he was acquainted with Padre Burgos, no wonder they share the exact same sentiments.

"It seems that you find it fun to hinder me from doing my duties, Señorita Clara." he said to her when yet again, they ended up playing cards and having tea in the garden.

Clara looked like she was concentrating hard on the cards she had on her hand, she furrowed her eyebrows, "What made you think I'm doing that, Padre Zamora?" she tried her best to sound innocent. "Besides, you like playing cards!"

He sighed and placed his cards on the table, "Royal Straight Flush." he said, he watched her scowl at her loss, "This is the tenth time I came here and I'm yet to hear a single transgression from you."

Clara really tried her hardest to keep a straight face at that, "I told you, I can't think of any. I just sit here all day. I don't think being unproductive is against canon law. I'm not exactly lazy, just unproductive." She paused then, "Now tell me, what does having 'Powder and Munitions' mean in gambling terms?"

Padre Zamora just ran his hand through his hair in defeat. There was never any getting through this girl, he concluded. He'll have to be back again tomorrow until he could make her go through one of the sacraments. "It means someone has a lot of money to bet."

* * *

When the Reactionaries regained power in Spain, De la Torre was recalled and replaced by Governor-general Izquierdo who vowed to rule with an iron fist. He imposed reforms that Clara thought were utterly absurd. He increased the taxes again when her people barely even had enough left for themselves. Izquierdo also made sure to crush all complaints violently. This time, she really wanted and would complain to Antonio, but out of all the times he would be absent, he chose this time. This was probably the most difficult time in her life yet. And to make matters worse, Izquierdo seem to hate her as much as she hates him and he was very open about it. He insults her in public, embarrasses and humiliates her any given time he could. He always emphasized the fact that she was just a lowly Indio, that she should not be given any right to enjoy the same things he did just because Antonio spoils her.

When Maria got back from Cavite after she went to visit her father, she had with her a local newspaper in Cavite called "La Verdad", the Spanish term for 'The Truth'.

"Who publishes this?" she asked as she scanned through the contents of the allegedly controversial publication. "Is this even allowed?"

Maria shrugged, "I don't know. I think it's supposed to be a secret since most of the contents are Propaganda material." She then pulled the paper from Clara's grasp and pointed on a pen name on one of the longest columns written there, "I do know who this is, a priest named Padre Gomez. He's the head priest of Cavite, he's a native." She said as a matter-of-fact.

Clara quickly began reading the priest's section in the paper, "He's also pushing for secularization of the churches like Padre Zamora and Burgos. And he also revealed some crimes committed by Guardia Civil. Surely something like this did not go unnoticed by the Governor-general."

Later that night, Clara woke up and was about to step out of her room when she heard footsteps behind her. She immediately hid in a dark corner and calmed her erratic breathing. She can't get caught now, of all nights! She had to find out if the governor knew of the insurgencies occurring recently so she could warn the insurgents if the governor had plans to harm them.

"Clara? Is that you?" she recognized the voice as belonging to Maria so Clara stepped out from her corner and showed herself. "What are you doing out this late?"

Clara just smiled at her and told her to be quiet as she pulled the older girl along with her. Silently, they sneaked into the Governor's office. Once inside, she locked the door and quickly started browsing the numerous letters and reports that were neatly stacked on the long mahogany table. She looked at Maria who was staring at her with a confused expression on her face.

"Here, search this." Clara said as she handed Maria a stack of letters. "Find something about planned attacks or some other important development in the colony."

Maria clicked her tongue at her but nevertheless took the letters from her hands, "I could barely read, but oh well, I'll try my best." she said and the two fell into a tensed silence. Both worried that any second, they could get caught. And they could be punished terribly for what they were doing.

An hour passed and Clara was almost relieved when all she read about was financial reports from the provinces and some expenses for repair and lists of Spaniards entering the country. There was not a single thing about Izquierdo planning to do a mass killing or something even close to poisoning her. Another hour passed before Maria tapped her shoulder and pushed an envelope into her hands. "I could only read Cavite arsenal, I thought it has something to do with my father." she shrugged.

Clara nodded in understanding and gently pried open the letter inside. Her eyes can't believe what was written in the letter and she can't help but gasp in horror as she continued reading. She ignored Maria tapping nervously on her shoulder again, asking for explanations on what Clara was finding so scary about the letter.

When she was done, she was clenching the letter so hard it was already tearing up, surely the governor will notice someone had been through his things now, but whatever, that was the least of her concerns, "That bastard!" she hissed under her breath, "He's planning to kill all the natives working in the arsenal for being caught in possession of Propaganda materials!"

A look of pure horror crossed Maria's face, "But my father is there! We must help him!"

Clara looked at her and tried to calm her down, "We'll have to warn them. They must get out of there fast before this is carried out by the governor."

They put back all the papers and letters in their proper places, keeping the torn up letter with her. Clara was not able to sleep at all that night. She was worried and agitated. Clutching the letter close to her, she made up her mind. If she had the chance to save her people from certain death, she'll do anything no matter what the cost. Early the next morning, she secretly met with the leader of the Filipino soldiers stationed in Manila.

"I need help. Izquierdo is planning to kill a hundred Filipinos in an arsenal in Cavite two days from now. I want you be ready for an uprising if that happens. We're going to take this walled city whilst their attentions are elsewhere." she said. The Filipino captain nodded in agreement and hurried to inform his troops.

After she was back in the palace, she quickly wrote a letter addressed to the Filipino in charge of the arsenal, warning him about Izquierdo's plans on executing them. She included that if they were to result to fight for their lives instead of running away, she'll be supporting them by instigating a revolt inside the walled city at the same time they attack the arsenal and take the highest Spanish authorities hostage. When she was done, she signed it in her name before handing the sealed letter to Maria.

"Please take this to the native leader of the arsenal in Cavite. I thought they might not believe you if you just say it openly to them. I also included the original letter issuing their executions there in case they don't believe my words. If they don't want to fight, then tell them to run away. I'll be fine with either way, but if they want to fight, they have my support."

Maria stared at her as if looking for the slightest falter in her decision and when she saw there was nothing but determination there she took the letter and went on her way to Cavite.

She came back two days later bearing a message from the leader of the arsenal. When they were safe in Clara's room she said, "Sorry it took me long to get them to answer your letter. They are going to stage a mutiny tonight at the arsenal. They are willing to do it at your command. They'll only attack when you give the signal. They told me that you just had to fire some rockets from the wall so they could see from Cavite. The Spaniards would have no idea what that would mean."

"Thanks Maria, I'll go tell the soldiers what to do."

When Clara was sure everything was in place and she only need to wait until nightfall, she went back to the palace and locked herself in her room, not wanting Maria to walk in on her and see her trembling in fright of being caught and anticipation for the fight.

When night came, Clara composed herself. She then prayed for God to forgive her for betraying her father, Antonio. "I wish he wouldn't be too sad when he comes back to see that I have gone. Please make him understand that I have to do this now."

She stood up and quietly sneaked out of the palace. Seeing that the front gates were manned, she quickly turned to the back doors to pass through the garden to the small gate at the back. She thanked God that it was dark so she couldn't be seen even if someone had accidentally taken a look at the garden. She was about to push the gate open when someone from behind her grabbed her hand and twisted it around her back, pushing her to the ground. She hissed in pain as the hand that grabbed hers tightened its hold until her face touched the moist grass. She looked up and saw the smug face of Izquierdo looking down at her. There were about four soldiers behind him, all aiming a gun at her direction and another soldier kneeling behind her and binding her hands securely behind her with a rope.

"Well, well, well, where are you sneaking off to, Señorita Clara?" the mocking tone in his voice fired her anger. He was now stepping on her back, grabbing fistfuls of her hair to force her to look up at him.

"None of your business, you asshole. Didn't Antonio tell you not to touch me? Keep your filthy hands to yourself." she spat, returning the glee in his eyes with a glare, "Unhand me-." She did not get to finish that sentence when Izquierdo interrupted her by yelling "Shut up!" followed by a hand swiftly slapping her across the face. She gasped in shock as her cheeks throbbed in pain and her mouth tasted blood. Tears welled up in the corners of her eyes but she refused to let them fall, _This is nothing…this is nothing._ Instead, she focused on maintaining her glare at him, wishing with all her might for Izquierdo to rot in hell.

He grinned evilly at her and pulled her to a stand by her hair, "Hoho. Look at you, you sly little bitch…think you've outsmarted me all this time, eh? Well, let's see what would happen when your beloved Padre hears of his precious daughter's little mutiny. Think you can handle it?" he hissed close to her ear, she cringed and struggled when she felt his breath fanning her neck. _Disgusting…disgusting._

"I don't know of any mutiny. Why don't we just wait until my beloved Padre gets here and hears of his trusted Governor laying a hand on his precious daughter? Think you can handle it?" a smile crept on her lips even though he slapped her again and she could already feel the blood dripping from her mouth. _Damn…this demon slapped me too hard…_

She felt a little scared when he just smirked at her then let go of her hair suddenly, sending her crashing to the ground. Before she could even sit up, Izquierdo stepped on her right shoulder, keeping her on the ground. Never had she said more profanities and curses at one man than she did now. He just grinned at her as he reached for a piece of paper from his breast pocket, wave it in the air and hold in front of her face. Her eyes widened in comprehension. It was the letter she wrote to the Filipinos in Cavite.

Satisfied with her reaction, Izquierdo carefully folded the letter and stowed it away in his pocket. "And I actually thought that you were smarter than this since Señor Antonio seem to adore you so much when in reality, you really are the most gullible person among the Indios."

She thought about the people waiting for the signal that would spark the start of the mutiny. She felt relieved that they were awaiting her signal, and if she didn't fire the rockets, there won't be any mutiny, they would be safe where they were hiding and she wished that they'd suspect that she was caught so they'll just run away. If no mutiny happens that night, she could deny the letter even if it has her name on it. Seeing that Izquierdo had badly hurt her, she could act like she was forced to write it under threats of bodily harm and Antonio would believe her.

"Are you trying to frame me with falsified documents now? That's so low of you, but considering that you can't possibly get any lower than that-ack! Shit!" her body instinctively coiled after he kicked her hard in the stomach. And it hurt all the more because the ropes binding her hands were digging on her wrists the more she moved.

Izquierdo watched her squirm in pain then turned to his soldiers, "Get the other girl here," he commanded. Clara froze on the ground, forgetting the pain for the moment and watched in horror as a soldier led Maria into the garden where they were currently at. For some reason, Maria refused to meet her gaze. Izquierdo moved away from Clara to go stand beside Maria. "Tell your little friend here what I ordered you to do in exchange for your brother's freedom." Clara swore that if Satan had a face, he'll look like Izquierdo.

That was when Maria turned to meet Clara's gaze and said, with an indifferent tone that made Clara cringe as she said, "You ordered me to make sure that Clara finds the false execution decree that night and that Clara writes a letter signed in her name telling the Filipinos to rebel against the Spanish. And in the moment that she does, to take the letter directly to you."

Clara could only gape at her in disbelief, "You did all those?!? What about your father?!? He's going to get killed in the arsenal for Christ's sake! And you're helping his murderer, you traitor!!!"

That was when Maria got furious, "I can't care less about what happens to that stupid excuse for a father who just left me and my siblings to fend for ourselves that my brother had to result to stealing in order to feed all five of us! You! You're just a Filipino like me and yet you get to live in all this luxury and even have the gall to be sad?!? What gives you the right to complain when all of us are going through hell compared to you? You're the reason we are all slaves in our own land today! What you're getting now can't even pay for one day I suffered because of you! This is all your fault, you selfish bitch!"

Izquierdo felt a sick pleasure at the sight of Clara battered and trembling on the ground, trying not to show her tears as she listened to the person she trusted the most condemn her.

Clara waited for the words to sink in before remembering the mutineers. If they did not get her letter, then there wasn't really anyone waiting for her signal to start. She started laughing as if she was crazy. "There's really no mutiny then, you bastards. You're just tricking me."

She immediately stopped laughing when Izquierdo laughed louder. "You naïve little fool, of course there is! It's unbelievable how easy it was to stir them up with just a little deduction in their measly salaries. But I did leak out to them that your Filipino soldiers here are willing to help them if they see rockets fired from the walls."

She gritted her teeth, still trying to deny the fact that she was involved somewhere because they might be lying so they could catch her at her own words, she ignored him though she wanted real bad to know what he did with her soldiers if he knew she was using them for rebellion.

"Are you worried about you little troop of foot soldiers? Don't worry, I found the perfect use for them! In exchange for sparing their lives, they're going to be the ones to subjugate those mutineers. Imagine those mutineers jumping for joy when soldiers from Manila arrive just to learn that their saviors weren't exactly aiming at the enemy."

She glared at him, abruptly getting to her feet and charging at him though it proved to be a futile effort when one of the soldiers fired at her, the bullet barely grazing her left shoulder yet effectively stopping her advance towards Izquierdo. "You son of a bitch! How could you live with yourself?!?"

Izquierdo raised an eyebrow, "You think I can't kill two birds with one stone?"

Clara's eyes widened in horror when she saw fireworks erupt from the direction of the walled city.

"Oh! Dear me! I forgot to inform you, tonight's the Feast of St. Loreto!" the mockery in his voice told her all she needed to know. And this time, her tears just won't stop. "What a lovely night!"

* * *

Clara stared at the polished wooden ceiling of her room. Since Izquierdo doesn't have the authority to cast her into prison yet until Antonio could see to her, he had her brought back to her room, and guarded twenty-four seven in case she suddenly makes a miraculous escape. But Clara did not even have the strength to get up from bed anymore after they brought her to her room last night.

She had been tricked into believing that she was saving them. She sent those men to their deaths! Oh, those poor men! Izquierdo surely killed them all by now. All because she was getting desperate for freedom. She had willingly joined into the fray at the prospect of finally rousing a revolt of her own without even considering the validity of her actions. And Izquierdo made sure he could prove that she was involved. After securing the letter from her, Izquierdo himself gave the Filipinos at the arsenal a reason to stage a mutiny, to walk out into the open field to their deaths thinking all the while that what they were doing were going to escalate to something national in level. And to destroy any evidence that he was controlling them all, he picked a certain day where he didn't even have to bother giving the signal. The feast of St. Loreto in one of the sections of Manila provided the fireworks needed without even being aware of it so that in the case that the mutineers think that they were tricked, they only had themselves to blame for mistaking the completely innocent festive fireworks as the signal. Those mutineers surely thought it was the signal for the rebellion and went on with it and was probably crushed by now.

She desperately tried to cling to reality as she felt her remaining sanity disintegrate as her own voice repeatedly echoed inside her mind, _I killed them…I killed them…I killed them…I killed them…_until it lulled her to sleep.

She was startled awake by someone pressing a wet cloth to her burning skin. Only then did she notice that she had gone through a whole day without cleaning the wound she had sustained from the bullet that grazed her shoulder. It must have been infected now since she was already burning up with a high fever. Her vision was spinning so badly that she can't recognize who was slowly taking her stiff, dirty clothes off and pressing a wet cloth to the exposed parts.

"W-wait…who are you..?"

Then she heard the voice she never expected to hear again after last night, it was Maria, "Did they hit you too hard or something or are you just banged up too much from the shock?"

"What are you doing here, you bitch? Didn't you…sell me out last night?" she said weakly. She heard a sigh despite the noise of her own pants and deep breaths.

"Shut up and be thankful that I'm tending to you when you can't even move your arms. The soldiers are guarding outside your door since you can't get out of here unless you're crazy enough to jump into the river. Your father is going to arrive any day now. " What she meant by that, Clara had no chance to ask when her consciousness drifted away from her again and this time, it took her another three days to wake up.

It was a stormy night and she was woken up by the cold rain blowing into her room from the open window. She got up and put on the clothes that were laid in the chair beside the full-length mirror. They were half-soaked by the rain but she didn't mind. She was about to tie the Arthur's bandana around her head when she changed her mind and tied it securely around her left arm, the words embroidered still visible.

She dared a glance at the mirror. She looked worn-out. Her eyes were puffy. No matter how much she tried, she can't smile. She can't help but think that it was too much, that she had no right to be happy. She had killed her own people again and no one would forgive her now. And she knew that whatever she'll do in the future, many more would die. But at that time, she'll make sure they die for a cause, for something grander, for something worth dying for.

She touched her fingers against the cool surface of the mirror, "I'll be worth it." She whispered. She let her hands fall to her sides as she walked out into the storm-racked balcony of her room. Before fully-stepping out, she took another glance of the room Antonio had given her, the rich furniture, the cabinet full of clothes he bought, the jewelries he had presented her with, and she thought how she was being ungrateful by leaving without saying anything.

But she already had enough. She desperately needed to get away. She can't see Antonio, she'll easily crumble. Clara tore her eyes away from the room and continued to walk through the balcony until she reached the railings. She looked down at the wide murky river below. Maybe it wouldn't be a good idea to swim in a tempest-tossed river at night. She looked at the dark sky. The storm had no sign of even wanting to subside. Clara slowly climbed onto the railing and stood there for a good ten minutes, fighting with logic. She might drown if she jumps. But she'll die nevertheless if she stays here and Antonio finds out about what she had done. There was no escaping it, there was a mutiny and she had written the letter that started it.

She was scared to find out what Antonio's reaction would be. What if he was only caring towards her because so far, she had been such a good kid, always trying to be in his favor, always obeying with no questions asked? And now she's caught in the worst situation…she rebelled and failed.

"CLARA!"

She turned to see Spain with his eyes wide in shock after he had thrown her bedroom door open to find her standing in the railings outside her room in a storm. She could see Izquierdo and the guards standing behind him. Maria was standing behind them all, crying. At the sight of Izquierdo, Clara made up her mind.

"A donde los brillos de sol, Padre." she said before she closed her eyes and threw herself to the rampaging dark waters.

Spain's mind was running a hundred miles per minute. _Shit! Shit! Shit! I can't find her!_ He shouted in his mind as his eyes quickly scanned the river below for any sign of her resurfacing after she jumped. Three soldiers were holding him down, since he was poised to jump into the water after Clara. Spain tried to struggle against them but to no avail. _Could she swim? Why can't I see her anywhere?!?_

"Señor Antonio, calm down. I sent some of my men to find her-," Izquierdo was stopped when Antonio turned angrily at him, hands throttling the governor's neck.

"Calm down? Calm down?!! How could I fucking calm down?! My daughter just jumped into a raging river and you expect to be calm about it?! Want me to throw you in too?!?" Antonio shouted, struggling hard against the now four soldiers trying to separate him from the choking governor. "What the hell did you do to her?!"

"You've got it wrong! It was her! Clara betrayed you!" the governor sputtered. Spain stopped throttling him and furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Let's talk about this in my office."

* * *

Clara had never thought she'd be so scared at the prospect of dying. She earnestly hoped that one day, her breath would be knocked out of her lungs and she'll cease to exist, to be allowed to feel no more, to never have to suffer the agonies she went through again and again. And now that she was inches away from getting her lifelong wish, she fought it. She resisted the water trying to fill her lungs, kicked her feet to reach the surface as she felt the water pushing on her on all sides.

_I need to live! Please! I have to live! I want to live! Please! Please!_

She couldn't make it. She was getting cold and weak. The darkness of the water was claiming her. She let go of her last breath. She reached out a hand in a final attempt to save herself. _Too bad…I really wanted to live at last._

And nothing short of a miracle happened as her outstretched hand held on to something! Clara summoned the last of her strength and held on tightly, gradually pulling herself to the surface and finally taking a breath, sputtering as her lungs painfully expelled the water that invaded it. She held on for dear life as the waves crashed around her, not sure where it was throwing her but she did not care. She knew she was far from the palace now. And with that, she relaxed and let the storm pass.

It was around dawn when the storm subsided to little bouts of rain and Clara allowed herself to detach from the log and swim towards a shaded bank. Once she reached the bank and looked around to make sure no one would find her, she lied down on the ground and slept. She was exhausted.

She woke up around mid-morning when she felt something poking her cheeks. She immediately jumped to attention to see who it was only to find a little boy who was as startled as she was.

"Oh! I thought I was caught." She said in relief as she tried to calm her heart, and she stood up, noticing that her clothes were soaked. "I have to get out of here."

The boy looked curiously at her, "Did you run away?"

Clara, who was taking in her location at that time, snapped her attention back to the boy, "I'm so not! I'm just lost, understand?" she said then, "And don't tell anyone that you've seen me, okay? We'll both get in trouble if you do."

The boy meekly nodded. "Are you hurt?" he asked.

"No, I'm not. Stop asking."

"Then why do you look like you're about to cry?"

"Huh?" Clara instantly felt her face for any signs of tears. Nothing. Her eyes were dry. "What are you talking about? I'm not. What are you doing in a deserted place like this anyway?"

"We temporarily live in a house close here while my father pleads to the courts for my mother's release." He said, his eyes turned sad. "I came here to cry but I found you instead."

"Why do you want to cry? Did something bad happen to your mother?" _Oh great, another incident to be related, _she thought and sat down in front of the boy.

"No, it's not my mother. She's fine. It's my tutor. The Spaniards are going to kill him this afternoon."

"What?!? Why?"

"They didn't tell me. My older brother ran out before he could explain."

"What's the name of your tutor?"

"Padre Burgos."

And Clara's voice left her as she stared in shock at the boy. _Padre Burgos?!? They are going to kill Padre Burgos?!? But why?!?_

"Do you know him too? You're crying. I don't want to cry anymore. It doesn't look good."

Clara sniffed and wiped her tears and hugged the small boy close to her. "Do you want me to stop crying?" there was a pause before the boy reached into his pocket and pulled a white handkerchief and dabbed it gently at her eyes.

When he was done, he smiled at her, "Please don't cry anymore. Padre Burgos always told me that when we die, we go to a place called heaven. It's supposed to be this really happy place where God lives."

Clara's lips curved into a smile and she ruffled the boy's hair affectionately, "Yes, yes, I'm sure Padre Burgos would go there. Now listen, I have to leave you now before anyone sees me with you. Be careful, I have to run along now." She said and turned to leave when the boy grabbed her sleeve and stopped her from taking a step.

"You don't look well, stay here for a bit, I'll get you some food from the house." He said.

"Thanks but I'm fine on my own, you've already done enough."

"…but…Padre Burgos taught me to help those who need help…even my mother told me that."

Clara smiled at him but held his small hands and pried it gently from her sleeve. "He taught you well. And your mother must be a good woman."

"Can't I do anything to help you?"

Clara heard distinct shouts of "Pepe! Pepe!" from the distance and assumed that it was the boy in front of her that was being called. She kneeled down to his level and embraced him, "Listen, if you really want to help me then study hard. Be intelligent and show them what you're made of. Don't let anyone trample upon you because you are Filipino. Be brave. Stand up to your beliefs. When you see people being oppressed, save them. And when you do all these, you'll see me again and at that time, you won't see me shed even a single tear. Promise?"

"Promise."

She gave the boy a peck on the cheek and he hugged her back.

"Goodbye, Pepe." She said and with that, she left the boy staring at her back.

Little did she know, that same boy would grow up into the man who would eventually end three hundred years of Spanish domination by having eight Remington bullets fired to his back.

* * *

Clara found it relatively easy to go near the Chinese trading house near the ports. There were little to no Guardia Civils roaming the streets and she wondered if it was because of the execution of Padre Burgos. She hoped that Wang Yao is in the country at the moment. She desperately needed his help and he was her only chance of not getting caught.

She inconspicuously approached a Chinese man seating behind the counter, overlooking the operations. He scowled when he saw her. Clara checked her appearance. She looked bad like bad luck. But nevertheless, she went to the front and asked if Wang Yao is in the area.

The Chinese man skeptically nodded and asked what business did she seek with him since Wang Yao was a busy man. Clara cleared her throat and told the man that he was Yao's niece and that she had to see him. When the Chinese man looked at her disbelievingly because she looked everything but Chinese, Clara huffed in irritation.

"Could you please just tell him Ma'i is here to see him? It's urgent."

The Chinese man glared at her before going into the inner sanctums of the trade house, appearing seconds later to beckon her inside. Clara looked around the street once more before entering the building. She can't risk Uncle Yao being suspected because of her so she had to do this secretly.

The fragrant smell of incense and chrysanthemums assailed her senses as she walked through the hallways to the main office where Wang Yao was lounging in. Before she could even knock, the door opened and a hand pulled her into the room, locking the door behind her. China promptly went back to his soft chair and told her to sit down.

"I saw Spain early this morning and he told me what happened. Do you have any idea how worried I was aru?!" he scolded. He took in her poor appearance and grumbled something about being thankful that was all she got.

"I'm sorry, Uncle Yao. I had no choice. They wouldn't let me go otherwise." She took the tea and meatbuns that were offered to her with trembling hands. She realized she was famished. "H-how was Pa-Antonio?"

China sighed and buried his face in his hands, "Man's a wreck. And angry. Really angry. He's looking everywhere for you. Are you aware of what he's doing right now? He's killing three of your native priests right at Bagumbayan aru!"

There was a sound of breaking porcelain when Clara's grip slipped. _Three?!? He's killing three?!?_ "F-for what r-reason?"

"For feeding you with rebellious ideas. The governor accused them of sedition and that idiot Spain can't care any less what happens to them aru!"

"Do you know who they are? The priests, I mean." She was sure Padre Burgos was one of them. Poor Pepe, so she was the reason he's losing a great teacher.

China paused for a moment then said, "I think one of my men mentioned it, something like Zamora…Burgos…and Gomez aru."

A shiver ran down Clara's spine at the name of the priests. She had met Padre Burgos and Padre Zamora before and no one could deny that indeed, she had talked to them no matter how innocent their conversations had been. But Padre Gomez? She did not even see him once in her life and yet he's dying because of her. Was he even aware someone like her existed? What could possibly tie him to her-she remembered! The newspaper Maria had gotten her from Cavite! Padre Gomez wrote there! Did they find the newspaper when they searched her room? Surely, that was propaganda material. She closed her eyes tightly and made up her resolve. She opened her eyes to see China looking worriedly at her and Clara promptly went down on her knees in front of the older man.

"Uncle Yao, I beg of you, please help me. I have to escape. I can't stay here. I must get out of the country fast. Please, could you give me safe passage out of the country?" she said with a pleading voice.

"Where do you intend to go aru?"

"Some place where Antonio wouldn't reach me until I'm ready to face him, a place near enough so I could still watch over this country. Sorry, I have no idea where that is. I've never seen a world map before."

Wang Yao bent over the table and pulled out a world map and spread it over the low table. He smiled as Clara tried her best to act serious despite her obvious amazement and fascination as her eyes ran through every little detail of the map.

"Arthur was right. The world is vast. And Spain isn't all there is." She said as she pinpointed her location in the map. She wasn't even a fourth of how big Uncle China's territory was. She smiled fondly when she saw the countries of Indonesia and Malaysia on the map. So that's where they are. How she missed them. Once she's free, she'll go visit them immediately.

"Geez, what's with Spain being all there is, aru?" he huffed cutely, "Anyway, just pick anywhere you want, I'll take you anywhere you wish to go aru."

Clara thanked him and proceeded to examine her choices. She'd have to pick somewhere near, so it must still be in Asia…Vietnam…Thailand…she can't bother Malaysia and Indonesia…maybe someone she didn't know. Then she found it.

"How about Hong Kong, Uncle Yao?"

"Are you sure? Hong Kong's a British colony aru." He pouted. He could still clearly remember the smug look on Arthur's face when he took Hong Kong from his house a few years ago. Damn pirate aru.

And that was all Clara needed to finalize her decision. "I'm sure, Uncle Yao. Hong Kong will be perfect."

* * *

**Again, I'll have to apologize for the wrong timeline of the fic…**

For that little bit of Spanish Clara said, it means ; "To where the sun shines, Father."

**so here are the not so fun facts:**

---Izquierdo is **real**.

--- The primary cause of the mutiny is believed to be an order from Izquierdo to subject the soldiers of the arsenal to personal taxes, from which they were previously exempt. The taxes required them to pay a monetary sum as well as to perform forced labor. The mutiny was sparked on January 20, when the laborers received their pay and realized the taxes as well as the _falla_, the fine one paid to be exempt from forced labor, had been deducted from their salaries.

--- The mutineers thought that soldiers in Manila would join them in a concerted uprising, the signal being the firing of rockets from the city walls on that night. Unfortunately, what they thought to be the signal was actually a burst of fireworks in celebration of the feast of St. Loreto, the patron of Sampaloc.

--- As part of the crack down of Filipino liberals and to subject the whole nation in terror so they won't revolt, Izquierdo implicated the three priests Gomez, Burgos and Zamora as instigators of the mutiny for these reasons:

Burgos - mutineer sergeant Bonifacio Octavo revealed that a man named Zaldua had been recruiting people for an uprising. Octavo testified that this man claimed to be under the orders of Burgos, but inconsistent details during Octavo's cross-examinations called into question the validity of his testimony. Nevertheless, governor-general Rafael Izquierdo reported to Madrid that the testimony had confirmed his suspicions, and pinned the blame on Burgos.

Zamora - Zamora had a habit of playing cards after saying Mass. Once, he received an invitation stating that his friend had "Powder and Munitions"; in a gambler's language, "Powder and Munitions" meant that the player had much money to gamble with. This invitation fell into the hands of the Spaniards and worse, it was on the night of the Cavite mutiny. This invitation was used by the Spaniards as evidence against the three priests. Pretty lame accusation, really.

Gomez - was active in the publication of the newspaper "La Verdad". This paper served as a voice of the Propaganda Movement.

These three were given a trial before being sentenced to death. But it was more like a mock trial where they were just dragged through the court, their own lawyers sold them out, the evidence against them were completely inadequate and bordering on ridiculous, and yet, they lost despite the Spaniards having no case at all…really, they are so unfair.

---The mutiny was on January 20. Execution of the priests were on February 17.

--- Almost half of the mutineers were summarily executed for treason while half were exiled out of the country or deported to places like Guam or Europe. Some escaped to more progressive cities like HongKong, London, or Tokyo where they continued to make small propaganda movements that eventually led to a full Revolution.

--- Pepe is a childhood nickname of Jose Rizal, the national hero of the Philippines. And if you're asking what the fuck he was doing there of all places, well, I put him there. And about him mentioning that him implying that his mother is imprisoned somewhere, it's true. At about that time, his mother was wrongly accused of murder and was made to suffer by the Spaniards. It was mentioned from my source that the family had to appeal to the high courts for her release for over two and a half years. I just thought the high courts would be in Manila...so yeah..he was there...

--- Padre Burgos had really been a tutor of young Jose Rizal when he was waiting in Manila to be allowed to enter Ateneo. And this was because Padre Burgos was a close friend of Rizal's nationalist brother, Protacio, I think.

**IMPORTANT: In case you didn't understand what happened in the story, I read it and I didn't understand it too…I'll explain it again.**

Izquierdo wanted to take down nationalists and other native liberals in the country since he is a conservative or just plain evil. And since he hates Clara too, and he can't touch her because Antonio is protective of her, he need to have a reason to have her commit treason against Spain. So he used Maria to make Clara write the letter supporting a mutiny after feeding her false information. After securing the letter, he then deducted taxes from the already measly salaries of the soldiers of the arsenal which sparked them to stage a mutiny. And he also leaked to them Clara's plans of joining them in a concerted uprising, and designating fireworks as the signal of the attack. And since it would be suspicious if his own soldiers fired the rockets from the walls, Izquierdo had them stage the mutiny on the same day as the St. Loreto feast. And the mutineers in Cavite thought it was the signal for the uprising and thus, they failed miserably.


	5. Heroes and Fireworks

She looked outside the window of her cabin. She could clearly see the harbor of Hongkong in the distance now. Just a few more minutes and she'll be stepping on land again after a week at sea. She could hear the splashing of the waves against the ship, the hurried footsteps of the Chinese sailors above on the deck as they prepared for anchoring.

_I'm so far away from home…_

There was a knock on her door. She got up from her seat and stood in front of the mirror, checking her appearance. She was wearing a lithe red cheongsam with a black rising dragon on the back Uncle Yao had so fondly given her, saying how cute she was decked in his native clothes, her long black hair tied in a low ponytail cascading down her back. She eyed the golden dragon pendant of the necklace Yao had given her along with the clothes.

_If you need help, just show this to any Chinese and they'll help you aru. I have many villas around the world so don't hesitate to come to one if you need me aru. Take care of yourself, Ma'i._

She closed her hand over the pendant and was about to tug it off when she decided against it. This necklace must be important if it could guarantee her that much authority over Uncle Yao's people. She decided to keep it on her. _At least I'll keep it safe until I could return this to him. _She tucked the necklace underneath the collar of her clothes so the pendant won't be visible.

She then picked up the bandana Arthur gave her and tied it again around her right arm with the embroidery visible. With that done and with one last look at her appearance, she stepped out of the cabin and gently closed the door behind her.

* * *

As soon as she stepped on foreign land, she immediately felt like going home. She couldn't decide whether it felt awkward or embarrassing that she's stepping on some other country's ground. She felt like an intruder. And she also felt ridiculous. _What the hell's my problem…I'm becoming so melodramatic…as if I haven't had enough of that…_

Clenching her fists on the straps of the small bag slung on her back, she decided to explore the bustling city first. It was early in the afternoon and the sky was cloudy. She delighted at all the sights she saw, the things that weren't present in her own country, the relaxed atmosphere around her. She passed by a few British men here and there and her heart always thumped in anticipation that it might be England. She couldn't settle yet whether she really wanted to go see him or not. She's not even sure that he's here. From what she heard from the Chinese sailors that took her there, the British empire has numerous colonies all around the world. And Hongkong was one of them, but nevertheless one of the most important. It was the center of British trade in this part of the globe. Like what she was to…

She found herself meeting the cobbled streets face first. She managed to save herself more pain by cushioning her head with her hands but still, she landed flat on the ground. '_Ouch…I must look like an idiot now.'_

She slowly sat up from her position and peered at the cause of her misfortune. There was a small boy sitting beside her, grimacing in pain as he rubbed his sore head.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't quite looking where I was going…what are you doing on the ground-oh!" she noticed the colorful chalk drawings all around her. He must have been drawing them when she walked into him absentmindedly. "Cute. Did you draw all of this?"

The boy was now looking at her but she couldn't tell what he's thinking because of the blank expression on his face. _Are you telling me 'thank you' or 'you're crazy' or 'go away'? _she pondered to herself.

Dismissing the thought, she helped the boy stand up. "Are you hurt anywhere?"

The boy shook his head.

'_Maybe he's mute…'_ Clara thought. "I'm sorry…I'll get going now." And she left the boy staring after her.

It took her a few minutes to realize that the boy was following her. It took a few more minutes to confirm that the boy was indeed following her when she went inside a clothing store and he waited outside for her to come out for a long time. _Oh great…why's he following me?_

She watched from behind the clothes rack as the boy got down on the ground and started drawing with his chalk again. He must have gotten tired standing up.

Someone tapped her on the shoulders. She snapped in irritation. "What?!? Can't you see I'm busy?"

The saleslady gave her a stern look then pointed at the boy outside. "Please tell your son to refrain from what he's doing in front of my shop. And this is a clothing shop, Miss, if you want to lose your son, please hide elsewhere."

Clara was about to retaliate when the saleslady gave her a harder look and promptly kicked her out of the shop. She stumbled in front of the small boy who stopped what he was doing when he saw her.

"Give me one."

The boy handed her a green chalk and Clara started drawing on the ground. "Draw some more there." The boy nodded and set to work. After a few minutes Clara stood up and admired her masterpiece. Amidst the rainbows and the houses that the boy drew was a really ugly green face of a hag that looked eerily like the saleslady. She drew an arrow pointing to the clothing shop beside it. People laughed when they looked at the drawing and at the saleslady who was fuming by the shop window, barely restrained by her co-workers who seemed to like the joke. They were almost the same. She looked back at the windows of the clothing shop where the saleslady was standing, trembling with rage. "Serves you right, old hag!" she then grabbed the boy by the wrist and ran as fast as she could when the saleslady came out clutching a broom.

When she was sure she had put enough distance between them and the berserk saleslady, Clara sat down on the sidewalk, clutching her stomach as she laughed and panted at the same time. She had long since let go of the boy's wrist and he stood beside her with his hands on his knees, panting from running too fast.

Clara glanced at the boy beside her and smiled when she saw that the boy was smiling too. "Sorry to drag you into this." She patted the ground beside her, beckoning the boy to sit. It was late afternoon now. She looked around and noticed she was back again at the harbor. In a few moments, it would be night time and she'll have to find somewhere to sleep. She glanced at the silent boy beside her…The boy! Oh my god, she forgot the boy! What if his parents were frantically looking for him now!

"Hey! Why were you following me?" she asked, facing the boy. "Your parents must be worried sick! Do you know where you live?"

When the boy didn't answer and just looked at her with that blank expression again on his face, Clara panicked. _HE CAN'T TALK!!! WHAT TO DO!?!_

She mentally calmed down when the boy held her hands in his, reached into his pocket and put something in her hands and closed it with his own. When Clara opened her hand to see what he put there, she saw the golden dragon pendant Uncle Yao had given her. Her eyes widened and her right hand immediately went around her neck, checking if her own necklace was there. It wasn't. "How did you-," she had tripped over him earlier, she must have lost it then and he followed her all this way to give it back? "Thanks…"

"It's valuable." The boy said, Clara was surprised that he could actually talk.

"Thanks…" she said, putting the broken necklace at the bottom of her bag to make sure it wouldn't get lost until she could put it back on again. "It's almost night. Aren't you supposed to be home right now?"

The boy shook his head.

"No? That can't be! I'm sure you parents are looking-," an image of Spain grinning flashed in her mind and she stopped what she was saying, "-for you. They must be worried." Her voice was almost a whisper.

The boy was staring blankly at her again. She smiled and said cheerfully, "Nah...let's just go eat. My treat!" she stood up and held the boys hands in his as they walked through the busy night harbor trying to find a decent place to eat until the boy started pulling on her sleeves. She stopped walking and noticed the boy pointing at some direction. "We should go there?" the boy nodded again and she let him lead the way. Soon they reached the entrance of a Chinatown.

Clara was simply amazed. The Chinatown in Hongkong seemed to be grander than the one in her own country. There were more stalls, more shimmering lights and there was a festive atmosphere in the air. Everyone seemed to be making merry. The smell of delicious food wafted through her senses. Everything was simply wonderful, splendid even.

They settled themselves in a food house that served noodles. They sat at the tables outside so they could enjoy the sight of the busy little town with all its cute little wares and dazzling lights. It seemed to be more alive in the night than in the morning.

When they finished eating, the boy tugged her around the night town, showing her things that almost always amazes her. Clara never had so much fun in her life. It was the closest she had to being free. She almost forgot all her worries.

That was until they reached the end of the town. It was dark and it led to the ocean. Few people were passing by and some of them looked like people you shouldn't mess with. "C'mon, kid, let's go back the other way." She said and held the little boy by the wrist again when she felt him being raised up. "You suddenly got-," she gasped when she saw a big man hoisting the struggling and kicking little boy up in midair so the kicks won't reach him. Clara tugged hard at the boy's wrist and tried to wrestle him free but to no avail, she was only hurting him. So she let go and started beating the giant of a man with her clenched fists. "Let him go, you big brute!" she was pushing and kicking him now.

Then a woman approached them and the big man turned to her and said, "Is this them?"

Clara stopped, panted, then glared at the woman at the other side of the man. It was the saleslady she had insulted earlier. "Yes, darling. They're the ones…you'll avenge me right?" she tried to act seductive which made Clara want to throw up the noodles she just ate.

"Gladly, beautiful."

Okay, they really need to get away from this deranged couple as soon as possible before they mentally crack. The boy yelled in pain when the man's grip on his waist tightened. Clara had no choice then. She lunged at the outstretched arms and bit down hard until blood flowed out. _Yuck! Salty skin! Dirty blood!_ But she held on until the man dropped the boy and swiped at her head so hard she stumbled to the ground.

The boy crawled towards her, as she stood up, grabbed the boy by the hand and ran as fast as she can towards the busy town. But before they could reach the edge of the town, a big hand grabbed her by the neck, pulling her back. She immediately let go of her grip on the boy, allowing him to advance some considerable distance before he noticed his companion was missing.

She struggled to get the hand on her mouth away, but the big man left her no choice again and she bit his hand. He pulled it away, "Start running, you idiot!" she yelled at the boy who finally listened and ran towards the town. _Good, no need to worry about him anymore._

She felt a blunt force hit her in the back of her head and she stumbled forward, the sand scratching her face. She heard the saleslady's high pitched laughter and it hurt her ears. "Shut up hag, I'll definitely get you back for this."

"If you can, sweetie. Just go on, darling."

The man snickered and went in front of her then grabbed her by the hair and forced her to stand up. God, the man was as ugly as he could get, almost bordering on grotesque…what a sickening couple. She felt one of his large hands wrap around her neck and eventually tighten, choking her. She clawed at the hand on her neck but it was no use, the man was enduring her attacks as if it was nothing even though her nails were already digging into his skin. _Can't die! Can't die! Can't die!_

And she could take it no longer. _Somebody…anybody…Padre, please save me..._

_

* * *

_

England grumbled curses as he was forced to go down the nearest bakery to buy enough snacks for afternoon tea for the guest he was expecting that day. Actually, he had already prepared for that, but for some reason, when he checked if everything was ready, he found the snacks burned to ashes. There were almost nothing left. And the kitchen suspiciously smelled of firework residue.

And now he had to buy them since time was short and he doesn't have enough ingredients to make enough for the visitor.

_Damn him! Let the stupid git starve._ But he had to be a good host, he's an English gentleman after all.

They reached the bakery but Hongkong refused to go inside and opted to wait outside.

"Stay there then." He said and disappeared into the shop.

When he came out, the little boy was gone. There was only the chalk drawings the little boy liked to do on the sidewalks. Arthur scanned the surrounding shops but there was no familiar little boy. He felt a little worried. He walked some blocks and turned a corner and that was when he saw the little boy running. He clutched the bag of bread tighter as he ran towards the boy. "Hey! Hongkong! Where the hell do you think you're going?" he shouted as he tried to catch up with the boy who seemed to be turning at every corner and going all around the place in circles. _Damn him, is he trying to lose me?_

After an hour of running, England stopped and finally lost sight of Hongkong. After regaining his breath, he decided to just get his tired ass back to the house. "Shit! What the hell are you playing at now? Go then! See if I care!"

And to add to his already incredibly bad mood, America was already at his front door, whining at him for being out of the house when he knew he would be coming over at this time.

"Where have you been, England? I was starting to think you purposely went out of the house when you heard I was coming over!" America puffed as England opened the door of the house, wondering if he really wanted to let the noisy American stay in his house.

"So where's your little charge?" Alfred said as he looked around the house for Hongkong.

"I don't know. He went running off suddenly, had me chase him for more than an hour around time. I don't know what the bloody hell has gotten into him!" Arthur said as he put down the bag of bread on the kitchen counter and prowled the cabinets for some tea bags.

America sat on one of the soft cushions in the living room and made himself comfortable. "Maybe he got fed up with-,"

"Don't start with me again, Alfred. It's bound to get annoying."

"Hey! I'm just stating my opinion here! Who knows if it's true! The little tyke always does like to get on your nerves!"

"That's just his way of getting my attention"

"Who the hell would want to get attention from you?"

England narrowed his eyes at the American. "Well, apparently, you did! Remember your little temper tantrums, America?"

America puffed his cheeks in embarrassment. "Why do you always have to bring up the past every time, England. Just move on already! Geez, I'm almost at my one hundredth birthday, y'know!"

"And still, you haven't matured a bit! Your mental age seems to be going backwards every single fucking year, you bloody git!"

"Hey! That's not true-,"

"Shut up before I throw you out."

"You're no fair…"

* * *

It was already dark outside and England was already beside himself with worry. 'Where the heck is that kid?!?' he thought as he impatiently waited at the house. America was snoozing on the sofa, England had refused him dinner until Hongkong got back.

England stood up from his chair, sat back down then stood up again. Okay, he's so going to give that kid a harsh scolding once he sees him…damn kid, making him worry. Of all his current colonies, he's the youngest but most powerful so England spent more time with him than the others. But damn… the kid was the most problematic of them all. Especially when England thinks he's trying to give him a heart attack with those damn fireworks of his.

The clock struck eight. America was startled awake by the sound of the door slamming hard against the wooden frame. "England?" he called out but as he expected, it was England who had just left. "Took you long enough." America straightened his clothes, grabbed his coat then made for the door too. "Might as well help find a lost child, I'm a hero after all."

He walked through the busy streets, delighting in the liveliness of the place. The place truly flourished in the night. His stomach grumbled and he stopped and looked around. 'Man, I badly need a hamburger but the world would end first before England offers me a burger at his house. I need to eat.' He scanned the surroundings and continued walking until a sweet scent assailed his senses and he followed it. It eventually led him to the entrance of the Chinatown. And indeed, it was the place to be when you want good food. 'Maybe the little tyke is here.' which sounded like an excuse but our hero did not seem to doubt his intentions as he went through the huge gate and blended into the bustling crowd.

Alfred went through the whole town, enjoying the foods every now and then as well as searching for Hongkong. When he reached the end of the road, his hands were teaming with steamed buns, meatballs and other foods that he was just curious about. He noticed that there was a small congregation of people on the end of the round. _Must be some traveler's side show._ He approached them, curious to see what exactly the show was about when he heard snatches of conversations from the women who just passed him by.

"Poor girl…she's so pretty yet she's already going to-,"

"Hush! They might hear you!"

America narrowed his eyes and squeezed through the crowd only to find Hongkong pulling on some man's shirt but the man wouldn't budge from where he was standing.

"Hey Hongkong, there you are! England's out looking for you! I bet he's getting angry now- dude! What's gotten into you?" he asked in confusion as the boy immediately went to him in recognition and started pulling on his shirt and pointing towards the harbor.

"Help!" he said and America's hero senses immediately went into overload or something like that. As far as he knew, this kid almost never shows any emotion, but right now, he looked desperate. America's eyes followed the direction the boy was pointing at for awhile now. America dropped all of his food and pushed Hongkong into the arms of one of the women, "Stay there." And he ran off.

America never really goes to hit someone with their backs turned to him but this was an emergency. He landed a punch on the huge man's lower back, sending the man kneeling on the ground in pain and dropping the now unconscious girl in the process. America turned to the horrified woman standing next to the fray and she gave a squeak when he saw his murderous look, "Get lost." He said and she immediately scampered away.

America snapped his attention on the girl. She's barely breathing. He had the urge to bury the huge man alive in the sand but set it aside since the girl must be taken to a hospital first. She already looked frail enough and yet this man had to go beat her up.

As much as she looked like she'll break even more if he touched her, America scooped her up in his arms and made for the direction of the town when someone grabbed his ankle. _Still up for a fight?_

_

* * *

_

England stood in front of the entrance of the Chinatown, regaining his lost breath from running all around town. _This is the last place…_

He entered and looked around tiredly, barely taking note of everything as he walked along the busy road. _Damn kid…I'll take away all your fireworks if you don't show up right now_.

And by some stroke of luck, he did see Hongkong. After reaching him, England bumped him on top of the head. "What the hell do you think you're doing, stupid kid?!? I went through all the trouble of looking all over for you and you were just standing here? What are you all looking at-," England trailed off as he looked at the harbor to see America duking it out with a giant. England wanted to bury the American alive. _Why the heck do you always manage to get into trouble? Why?!?_ He pushed Hongkong into the crowd, "Stay there." he said tiredly and trudged up the sandy harbor towards where America was.

"Break it up, break it up, you bloody idiots. America, what the hell's your problem?" he shouted as he approached them. Despite the fact that the other two were taller and bigger than him, he managed to separate them.

"That coward was beating a helpless girl! I came to save her!" America hissed, wiping the blood trickling from his mouth. Seeing England's confused expression, he pointed towards his back. England looked over America's shoulder to find a young lady crumpled on the sand. His eyes narrowed then he turned back and landed a surprise blow on the giant which seemed to be a rather strong punch at that when the giant fell back to the ground and did not get back up again.

"Geez, I know he's unforgivable, but I think you killed him."

"Shut up. I'm the law." England said nonchalantly then trudged up towards the unconscious form of the girl lying on the sand and gathered her in his arms. _You sure showed up in the strangest circumstance in the most unlikely place, stupid Clara._

_

* * *

_

Clara pouted her lips in shame and looked at the floor.

Arthur's eyebrow twitched in irritation as he sipped his tea to calm his frazzled nerves.

Clara's palms started sweating and she felt cold sweat trickling down her forehead.

Arthur put down his teacup and stared ominously at the badly injured silent girl sitting on the bed.

"So…" she said warily, as if any time now he'll snap at her, "I'm here now." She jumped when Arthur stomped his feet on the floor. _God, if he's going to be this angry, I wouldn't have told him. Making me dredge up bad memories…_

"And here I am thinking that you can't get any more stupid and every time you prove me wrong."

"Sorry."

"Sorry won't cut it! What the hell? If you knew he hates you so much don't you think you should take care of whom you associate with? Especially when you live with him, stupid!"

Clara gasped. He really did snap at her. She looked away from him and pressed herself to the headboard, willing it to swallow her now. She bit her lips and tried not to burst out crying. She really needed to learn not to show weakness. "I know what I did was stupid and I should have taken responsibility for what I have done. But I just can't, I can't face Antonio now. I'll…get weak…"

England buried his face in his hands in frustration. "Damn, is that why you'd risk death than a little moment of weakness which would probably not happen if you really had your mind made up already?"

"I just wanted to get out of there for the moment. Don't worry, I'm not planning to bother you, I'm not even staying here. I'm going to learn all I can, the things that Spain withheld from me."

England sighed and examined her for any sign that could tell him she's not ready yet but there was none. "Are you sure you could do that? Spain probably knows you're not dead. I bet he's already looking for you."

"I'll be fine. Uncle Yao gave me enough money to live by. I heard that Spain exiled some of my nationalists out of the country. They're probably everywhere. I'm planning to gather them together in one place."

England nodded and stood up. "Stay here for a while. Spain wouldn't dare go here or anywhere near here. You got some pretty serious wounds, why the hell did that guy beat you up anyway?"

"I kind of played a harmless prank on a woman because she pissed me off. Didn't expect her to take it as a serious offense and send that ugly giant at me."

"Of course she will! She's affiliated with Yakuza, the guy who beat you up was one, they don't take shit from anyone."

"I'll be careful from now on. Thanks for saving me though..." she smiled brightly at him.

England waved a dismissive hand and looked away, "It wasn't me. It was someone else."

The door was instantly thrown open and in came America with a coffee in one hand and toast on the other. England and Philippines jumped at the sudden intrusion. "Hey England! I broke your-Yo! You're awake now! Feel great?" he said as he sat on the other chair next to England's.

England sighed. "You see this annoying idiot here?" he pointed at America, Clara nodded slowly, "He's the one who saved you."

Clara smiled. "Oh I see...Thank you-..ahm...Mr.?" she extended her hand.

Alfred stared at her smiling face. Despite the horrid bruise on her cheek...he can't help but think she looked kinda...angelic...he did not notice he was staring at her for too long until her eyebrows creased in confusion and England hit him slightly in the head. "I know. I know. Snap out of it."

Alfred cleared his throat then clasped her offered hand in his and shook it. "Alfred F. Jones. I'm the United States of America. Nice meeting you."

"Wow...I've seen you on Uncle Yao's map before. It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Clara Zarita de los Reyes. I'm Las Islas Filipinas. Thank you for saving me last night."

"Nah. No biggie. I'm a hero. That's what I do."

"You're a hero, huh? That's kinda...awesome." and the way she said it and the look of pure admiration reflected in her clear brown made America want to confess that he's 'Superman' then and there.

"Yeah--...and you know what else, I could also-," England clamped a hand on America's mouth and pushed him out of the room.

"Just get down to breakfast if you're feeling better already." and with that, England shut the door close after pointing out the bathroom. Clara can't help but giggle.

* * *

It was the middle of the night when Clara was woken up with someone tugging on her arm. She groggily sat on the bed and rubbed her eyes, "Hmm...what is it?" when her eyes adjusted to the dark, she saw Hongkong standing beside the bed, pulling her to a stand. "You need something?" she stood up and let the boy pull her out of the room and into the back garden of the house. "Want to stargaze?"

The boy shook his head but pointed towards the night sky. "Thank you...last night you did not leave me behind even if you're also scared."

Clara sighed. "Come here." Hongkong came closer and let the older nation wrap her arms around him in a warm hug. "You're such a cute kid...I wish I could have a little brother like you."

Hongkong blushed but Clara did not see since his head was on her shoulder. "I fixed your necklace for you." he pushed her off for a bit and opened his hand to show Clara the dragon necklace.

"Thank you so much."

"Do you know what that means?"

"Actually, I have no idea how it's supposed to save me." she said as she clasped the necklace back into place.

Hongkong tugged down his collar a bit to show Clara that he was wearing a similar necklace. "It's the symbol of the Chinese imperial house. My master gave this to me before I was taken away from his house. He gives these necklaces only to those he favors and wants to keep safe."

Clara did not know what to say. To think that Uncle Yao gave her something of such value. She should have been more careful with it. And even if she had an inkling on what the answer will be, she asked, "What's the name of your master?"

"He's Wang Yao."

Clara cried and clasped the pendant tightly in her hands. _Thank you so much...Uncle Yao...For caring so much..._

"Hey! Are you okay?"

Clara quickly dried her tears when she saw America coming out of the bushes, unravelling what seemed to be a roll of string until he reached the wooden porch where Clara and Hongkong were sitting. He plopped down beside Clara and reached over her head to hand over the end of the string to Hongkong. "Here. Just light it up."

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Little kid wanted to show you what he did best."

Hongkong reached into his pockets and pulled out a matchbox. He then struck a match and lit the string. The little fire traveled along the string, across the garden until it disappeared into the bushes where Alfred had been. "What was that?"

There was a high pitched sound followed by the sight of one hundred multi-colored fireworks raising towards the sky and exploding in a million tiny lights. Clara initially wanted to look away because the fireworks reminded her of some bad events, but she threw all her fears outside the window of her mind. _This doesn't mean death...it means happiness. _And then there was the angry yells from Arthur whose bedroom window seemed to be just right above them.

"Scaring the living daylights out of England."

Clara laughed. America's lips curled into a smile until he was unknowingly left staring at her again. Her laughter, her soft hair that danced in the cold night wind, everything about her made America want to keep her. _Damn...I didn't know they make girls like this too...she's too cute..._

England glared down at the three sitting below his window as they watched the display. _It's the fucking middle of the night! _he thought. And no matter how much he reprimanded them, they just ignored him as if they never heard him. So he just kept his silence and watched the godawful fireworks until it was finished. But damn, how many did they light up that night? It's been thirty minutes already and the show seemed like far from over. His gaze fell on Clara. _She doesn't seem to mind the fireworks._ And then on Alfred. England smirked. Alfred wasn't watching the display no matter how much he loved them especially on his birthdays, because he's watching something else. Or rather, _someone_ else...some rather oblivious and stupid girl. From where he was, Clara, Hongkong and Alfred almost looked like a family...a bizarre one though. The fireworks stopped. "Oi! Get back in the house!"

Ignore. Ignore. Ignore.

"I won't give you breakfast tomorrow."

"Thanks, England!" came from America and then went back to ignoring him and just sitting comfortably on the porch.

"I'm locking out the three of you!"

And England had the satisfaction of watching them scramble for the door.

* * *

**There's no bit of history here...just kinda something along the line of how she met America and Hongkong...as you all know, Emilio Aguinaldo has a habit of being exiled to Hongkong...so I thought maybe Hongkong could have been a good friend of Clara if he's willing to shelter enemies of the Spanish empire...or something like that...**

**I just noticed I'm abusing Clara too much and every chapter, she's always crying...I must cut down on that...she's getting pitiful.**

**Thanks to all who reviews/comments on this fic!!!! I really appreciate them and encourages me to write more...so Thanks a bunch!!!!**


	6. Letters and twenty years later

Romano could no longer watch the horrible scene happening before his eyes. Spain. Tomato. Butcher Knife. Dead-pan expression. Yeah.

Romano swiftly took the butcher knife from Spain's hand and held it as far away as possible. Spain just continued moving his hand as if the knife was still in it. Romano has had enough.

"Damn it, Spain!!! What the hell's wrong with you?!? You're fucking murdering the tomatoes, for Christ's sake, you almost cut off your own hand!!! Snap out of it would you, goddamnit!!" he screamed, grabbing the Spaniard by the shoulders and forcing him to look at him. He had the urge to punch the bastard when he still looked dead to the world around him.

And of course, not one to hesitate to punch someone, especially Spain when needed, he did give him a knuckle punch that sent the Spaniard to the floor. Damn, making him worry, though he'll die before he admits that even to himself, and not telling him the reason why he's acting like this. Romano let out an inaudible sigh of relief when Spain seemed to snap out of his thoughts and turn to look at him with almost the same carefree look he had whenever Romano visits him.

"Lovi~! When did you get here?"

Okay, Romano was seriously pissed now. He shouldn't even be worrying for this idiotic bastard when said bastard doesn't even notice he was there at all. How long had it been since he went to Spain's house to visit him when he heard he had gone back after going to some other goddamn nation's house? Twenty minutes! He had been standing less than five feet away from him for a whole twenty minutes and Spain did not even notice him there when normally, Spain could sense him coming a kilometer away from his house, he had no idea how, and run like an idiot to meet him! No wonder he did not even get as much as a greeting or some other stupid crap he'd spout whenever they see each other. Something was definitely bothering the Spaniard and Romano wants to get to the bottom of it, without admitting that he's actually just worried.

"What the hell's wrong with you? Why weren't you at the door?"

"I already gave you the spare key ages ago. You always get angry when I don't get to the door fast enough."

"The door's left wide open, idiota! Your house is a mess! And you're, you're-God! What the fuck are you thinking, butchering a tomato in your bathroom sink?!?"

And that was when Antonio fully had a grasp of his surroundings. He was sitting on the bathroom floor, his hands drenched in red tomato juice and Romano glaring down at him, holding an equally drenched butcher knife in his hands. "Oh! Really? I didn't notice…but I'm so happy you're here, Lovi~!" he stood up and proceeded to ruffle the fuming man's hair.

Romano's eyebrow twitched in annoyance. He already had half a mind to drown the Spaniard in the bathtub and he just had to ruin his hair with that dirty hand of his, even if it is tomato juice, he won't forgive that. Romano forcibly removed the Spaniard's hand from his hair and gave him the deadliest glare he could muster but the bastard just continued smiling at him as usual. He's making it seem like just one of his typical blunders. Romano's not buying any of it. That smile that hides something from him, he hates it. Spain was never deterred by anything that happens to him, no matter how bad, he was never driven to a state such as the one Romano had just seen him in minutes ago. Whatever managed to bother the Spaniard could be nothing less than the end of the world. So Romano had to know what it could be since obviously, the world wasn't ending yet and he wasn't too sure if Spain would really be bothered by the world ending.

"Now that you're here, I'll start making lunch." Antonio said, making his way out of the bathroom and into the kitchen.

Romano was about ready to burst out yelling now but he contained it, not just yet. "Lunch? It's already way past supper time, you asshole. Seriously, how long were you doing _that_ there?"

Spain was surprised. He glanced outside the kitchen window and saw the moon up in the sky, then he turned look at Romano who was pouting cutely at him, but evidently pissed. Spain scratched the back of his head nervously, "Haha! I guess time really went past me today! I was so sure I was planning on making pizza for lunch some time ago."

_He's been there since lunchtime?!? _Okay, Romano really wants to know what the hell's upsetting the otherwise carefree Spanish who's now rummaging in the cupboards.

"What in the world fucking went off with you?!?"

"We could have spaghetti, chorizo, tortilla-..."

And because Spain makes it clear that he's not divulging anything anytime soon, Romano had to force it out of him now before he drives them both crazy. So he grabbed Antonio by the collar and pushed him against the counter. Spain closed his eyes, as if expecting Romano to deck him again but opened his eyes again when nothing happened and Romano just held him there, glaring at him.

"You're acting weird, Lovi~."

"No! You're acting weird, at least, weirder than usual. Now, you're going to tell me what the hell's bothering you or I swear I'll never visit you ever again." He threatened, no matter how empty it sounded. Going to Spain's house was almost a religion to him, something he did out of just wanting to. A horrified look crossed Spain's face at the prospect of never seeing Romano again, though life would surely be easier if he didn't. He always looked forward to the Italian's visit. Probably because of all the nations who had broken away from him, Romano was the only one who eventually came back to see how he's faring. No matter how much it hurts for him…_literally_ most of the time.

"I-I can't." Spain quickly clamped his hand over his mouth after realizing what he just said. He did not just say that to Romano. And seeing the surprised look Romano sported now, he didn't expect it either. "Sorry. What I meant was-,"

"You…bastard. You're just waiting for me to bomb myself, aren't you? Well, have it your way then, I can't believe I was worried over someone like you." Romano released him and promptly walked out of the kitchen.

But before he could even get his coat from the hanger, Spain was already at the front door, shutting it close. "Alright, I'll tell you! Just calm down, okay?!? I don't know where to even start!"

Romano looked at him skeptically, foot tapping the wooden floor and arms folded, as if trying to catch Antonio the moment he tries to lie. "Go on then. I'm waiting."

Keeping his slight surprise at Romano being so easy to persuade to listen, Spain cleared his throat as he thought of where to begin divulging his problem. "It's about Clara. You know…my daughter."

Romano nodded. Of course he knew about her, she's the apple of the eye of the flustered man in front of him. Everyone in Europe has practically known of the Spaniard's well-beloved daughter when Spain came back to Europe this one time roaring for England's blood when the latter was reported to have sneaked an attack on Spain's daughter during the Seven Years War. It would have escalated to another war if not for both of their worn-out states (and dried-out wallets) and the effects of the Treaty of Paris that ended the previous war. But everyone got the message to not mess with Spain's daughter from then on or risk having to fend off a berserk Spaniard wielding a Toledo sword breaking into their homes at two in the morning, like Arthur had the misfortune of experiencing.

Well, aside from that scandal, Spain never ran out of stories about her, almost to the point where Romano felt like he had gone through her whole life three times already. Spain had never adored any of his colonies this much, probably because she was the only girl in his 'family'. His _unica hija_. The beautiful brown-skinned girl sitting in Spain's lap on the second largest portrait in the house (the largest was with him as a child being carried by Spain in his matador outfit). And with the way she smiled in there that clearly showed that she adored Spain as much as he adored her, what could possibly go wrong in their otherwise perfect father-daughter relationship?

"So? What's with her now?"

"…"

"One."

"Wait! I'm already telling you, aren't I?! Don't pressure me! This is already hard enough for me!"

"Two."

"She killed herself."

"…"

"She jumped into a raging river before I could stop her." Antonio reflexively looked up when he felt pinpricks of tears starting to blur his vision.

Romano's arms fell limply to his side as he gaped at the Spaniard. Looking upwards did not stop the tears that fell from Antonio's eyes as he wiped at them furiously with his sleeves. And Romano knew he shouldn't push it further but it somehow still slipped from his lips. "Why?"

Spain stopped even trying to wipe away the tears and pressed his palms into his face. "I DON'T EVEN FUCKING KNOW!!! I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE HELL SHE'S EVEN THINKING AT THAT TIME!!! SHIT!!! I COULD HAVE SAVED HER!!"

Romano regretted forcing Spain to tell. Why can't he just leave him be when Spain clearly wanted to let the matter rest? Besides, it was something he, Romano, should not concern himself with, seeing that he was now independent from Spain.

"Are you really sure she's…you know…gone?"

Spain ran his hand through his hair in frustration as if he's trying to recollect his thoughts, "N-no. But she's completely gone. There wasn't any trace of her resurfacing somewhere, there wasn't even anything left of her! Shit! It's all my fault! I should have spent more time with her!"

"Did she do something wrong?" Romano was now curious, maybe there was something more to it. She can't possibly commit suicide just because Spain neglected her when Spain could say he's almost close enough to save her.

Spain's knees gives out on him and he slides to the floor, his back resting on the front door. He folded one of his knees and rested his arm on it as his other arm continued to run through his hair in an effort to calm himself. Romano just stood in front of him, his anger dissipated as he looked down at the mighty Spanish empire crying for his lost daughter.

"She instigated a mutiny but the Governor caught her and the rebellion fell apart. She was locked up in her room until I could see to her but when I arrived…she…she just…she chose death over me!"

Romano knew that wasn't the case. It was only natural for a colony to yearn for the freedom that was once theirs. Romano had experienced that. Even he had the audacity to break away from the wreck of a man in front of him. But Spain loved Clara too much he forgot the fact that she was never his to begin with. He overlooked her intention and fretted over her feelings.

"Before she became your daughter, she's your colony, Spain. And I'm sure whatever changed her isn't something you've done yourself." Maybe Romano wasn't really good at comforting people but he could be good at pinning mistakes on other people. But he just had to try.

"No, it's my fault! I've been such a lousy father to her. I knew she needs me and yet I always leave her alone. I killed her people without even knowing what my own people have done for them to deserve it. We've been together for three hundred years. I can't even begin to imagine just how much that child must have hated me for it."

Romano clenched his fists at his sides. Spain said it! Now Romano was sure Spain shouldn't berate himself for the incident. It wasn't any of his own fault. Why can't he see that? _Per l'amor di dio, he's so stupid!_

"Do you really love her that much?" Romano's somehow annoyed at that idea for some reason he couldn't fathom.

"I love that kid so much…she's so special…I would have given her anything in the world if she so much as wished it."

"Will it still be the same if she asked you for independence, Antonio?"

Spain closed his eyes, "…I'd give her anything…anything at all."

_But Spain, _Romano wanted to say but decided against it, _that wasn't the answer to my question._

**

* * *

**

**March 24,1876**

**Your god-forsaken house in Hongkong, you bastard, I'm leaving!**

Dear Sir Arthur Kirkland (Haha! But you kind of deserve it),

As for your instructions that I should stay here rather than risk getting found out, well, I'm glad to say I'd rather risk it. I'm very thankful that you'd let me stay in your house in exchange for babysitting your cute little Hongkong for you when you're away (like right now) and you're probably back home in your homeland (I terribly miss mine) or somewhere in your colonies (if you hurt my brothers, I won't forgive you!).

But I really need to go now. Thank you so much. I'll make this up to you someday.

Oh wait, you must be wondering why, after four years did I just decide to leave now. That is, I don't know how to say this, every time I think about it, it sounds like I'm eloping (how funny that would be!). Last week I found this group of Filipino settlers in here and they seem to be the ones that had been exiled from my country some years back. They're planning to go to Madrid to help their brethren demand for some reforms back home. This is it, what I've been waiting for.

And before you tear this up (or burn it, whichever you prefer), I want to say that I'm aware that Madrid is Spain's capital!!! (I know you're cursing me now, stop it please!) So I won't be surprised if I see him there (is it too silly to hope that he's not angry at me?) but he might be surprised if he sees me there.

I'll miss you, Arthur.

P.S. America is watching me when I wrote this so I really can't get serious enough especially when he keeps on saying something funny every now and then. He's such an amusing guy!

P.S.S. England, no matter how much of an insensitive jerk you pretended to be, I know you're really worried about me (don't deny it, I'm more capable than what you give me credit for!), I'd keep sending you letters from time to time so you'll know I'm still breathing somewhere. I'll really miss you, let's meet again someday!

**

* * *

**

**April 17, 1876**

**Berlin****, Germany**

Dear Alfred,

Thank you so much for seeing me off in Hongkong. You told me to send you letters too, so here it is. I know the last time I've seen you were less than a month ago, but I don't know, it isn't as fun exploring when you're not here. But don't misunderstand that, I'm still able to smile here so everything's fine.

And if you're wondering why I'm in Berlin, well, I kind of changed my mind about that trip to Madrid part and just went with some few who headed to Berlin. There are many Filipinos here too! I'm so glad they're doing really well in a foreign land!

But nothing beat the part that they never forgot about their native country. Imagine their surprise when I introduced myself! They were more enthusiastic than ever to alleviate the condition of their motherland! I felt proud of myself for the first time when they called me 'motherland'…do you feel elated too when your people call you 'fatherland'? I do. It brings me happiness of unparalleled proportions.

I'll write again when something happens.

P.S. When I checked, I almost wrote the exact same letter to Arthur! Haha, but the first part was different.

**

* * *

**

**August 1, 1882**

**Barcelona****, Spain**

Bloody punk, stop killing me!

I saw America last week in Paris, and he told me what you have been doing! You bastard! If you don't cover up that grave, I'll kick you where it hurts the most! Seriously, if you're expecting to hear that I'm floating dead somewhere, sorry to disappoint you, but I'm still standing on the ground, as alive as when I left you. The moment I come back to Hongkong and you haven't demolished that grave yet, I'm going to bury you alive in it, understand? Geez, you didn't even put my grave under a gorgeous tree, why on your flower bed? You just want me to be fertilizer, do you?

I was going to write about some great experience I just had and tell you how I managed to finally get close enough to Spain, I'm in Barcelona!, but I hate you so much now, I lost the excitement.

P.S. I'm going to Madrid tomorrow with the Filipino family I stayed with in Berlin. Remember to clean up the grave!

**

* * *

**

**July 20, 1883**

**Madrid****, Spain**

Arthur, how are you doing?

Antonio almost caught me earlier! I didn't know he was attending church there! But thank God, the church was too big and crowded. I managed to lose him in the throngs of people leaving the church. I swear I almost had a heart attack!

Now I'm too afraid to go out anymore, and I heard Antonio was rounding up all the Filipinos here. They're taking me out of here tomorrow morning via train heading to Paris. I'm not coming back here for a while. It's so scary.

But I wonder…Antonio did not look as angry as I thought. I can't explain the look on his face when he chased me frantically. He looked so desperate. I don't know. I can't understand anything right now.

I'm a coward. Everything I do is just running away. I hate being weak.

When you receive this, I'm probably already in Paris, France at that time.

**

* * *

**

**August 12, 1883**

**Paris****, France**

Hello, Arthur. I hope you're doing well. Same to Hongkong.

I'm back again in Paris and I met two interesting people today. One is _purely _French and the other is a Filipino.

I bet you know the French guy. You were fighting a war with him when I met you. His name is Francis Bonnefoy. I met him when I was looking at paintings in one of the museums here I find hard to pronounce the name, much less spell. He's such a charming gentleman…once he learns to keep his hands and mouth to himself, that is. I told him about you, and guess what, he told me some rather disheartening facts about you. I didn't know, England…sheesh…I had no idea you could be capable of stuff like that…but don't worry, I'd still respect you. As for Francis, he's got some interesting history, too. I did not dare mention Padre, and told him my name is Ma'i. He knew I was a country at first glance, he looked like he's gonna eat me as he said he hasn't heard of me yet.

Let's go over to the Filipino now. He's a student in Madrid and he's just here in Paris for summer vacation. He's so adorable! I met him when he was invited to dinner by the family I'm staying with. He's so intelligent! He kept amusing me with funny anecdotes and stories he made himself. He wrote me a poem too! He's so sweet! And what's the most amazing part about him? Remember when you made me tell you what happened in Manila? How a boy told me Padre Burgos was going to be executed? He was that same boy!

And I almost cried when he said he studied in Spain so that he could keep his promise that he'd study hard so he could be of help to my people. It's almost ten years ago since I made him promise that, but…he never forgot! I'm so thrilled! He never forgot me! But…I can't help but feel how much I must have burdened him as a boy.

P.S I forgot to mention, his name is Jose Rizal.

**

* * *

**

**July 4, 1886**

**Berlin****, Germany**

Happy Birthday, Alfred!

Sorry, this probably would have had more meaning if you received this on your birthday rather than one month later, but nevertheless, I congratulate you on this momentous day in your life as a nation. Have an awesome happy birthday! I hope someday, I'll get mine too!

I'm back in Berlin again, and I'm doing great! I learned lots of things along the way and I met dozens of interesting people. I'm mostly traveling alone now, but I meet friendly people every now and then. I may go back to the Philippines soon. But I think I want to try going back to Madrid first because the majority of my reformists are there.

I know I see you at least thrice a year because for some reason you always appear before me in the most unlikely places but I hope to see you soon again!

**

* * *

**

**February 17, 1888**

**I invaded your house again, England**

I just had a quick visit while I'm waiting for Rizal to come here from Manila. He asked me to accompany him in his travels for a while. Hongkong's in his teenage years now! You've taken good care of him! Very good! And he's still so adorable, I thought he'd be such a brash young man if he's exposed to you for such a long time.

I see you got my letter about the grave you dug for me years ago. It's gone now…but I saw this weird black doll with my name on it hidden in your bedside table…are you cursing me?

Well, I'm just leaving this letter in your bed along with a translated copy of _Noli Me Tangere_ since there's no point in mailing it to this house. When you find this, I've already left for Japan. Read the book! It's a pity I didn't get to see you, but I'm sure you're fine. Until we're unfortunate enough to be in the same place, see you!

P.S. I _accidentally_ lit a bonfire on your creepy black doll. Hongkong and I had a great time roasting marshmallows with it.

**

* * *

**

**March 24, 1888**

**Yokohama****, Japan**

Dear Alfred,

I personally handcrafted this souvenir card so be careful in reading it!

Rizal told me he plans to go to America next month, and he invited to me to accompany him again. I finally get to see your country! I'm so excited I can't wait!

Japan is a nice country, it's so peaceful here. And I also enjoy the culture here very much. Have you tasted the food here? It's so delicious!

Rizal envisioned that in the future, I would have more contact and relations with Japan. I said, when that day comes, I'd be more than happy to be this country's friend!

That's all, see you next month!

**

* * *

**

**September 12, 1888**

**London****, you know where**

Dear Alfred,

Because you told me to send you a letter if I made it safely to England, I'm writing you this now. And you know what, you're right. It's rainy here. I have yet to see the sun shine in the sky since I came here two days ago. No wonder England is such a busybody.

I haven't thanked you enough for showing me some great places in your country! I'm sorry my visit was cut short but once I win my independence, I'll take you personally to my own country!

Thank you for sharing your past with England with me. Seeing you and England like that, I didn't even have a clue on what you two had been through. I know I should have told you this before I left, but I'm happy to see that you are close friends with England now. Arthur being Arthur, I know he sulked for whatever happened between you for a long time and I can't say I understand Arthur's feelings. I'm in the same predicament now as you were back then. I'm aware I have hurt Antonio's feelings when I ran away. But seeing how you and England are now makes me want to look forward to the day when I'm able to laugh freely with my Padre again. There's no greater joy for me than being his daughter in our existence where there is no real family. I'll patiently wait for that peaceful day to come, until then I'll try my best to prove to him that I could already stand on my own.

For all that you've taught me, I'm thankful I met someone like you.

**

* * *

**

**December 13, 1888**

**Madrid****, Spain**

Dear Arthur,

Like you told me to, I've been extra careful today when walking the streets of Madrid and fortunately, I haven't walked into Antonio yet or seen any piece of him for that matter. You haven't changed much when I last saw you at your place, nice palace you've got there! I'd come over to play again when I have the chance. You make bountiful rains seem like a blessed event.

Earlier this evening, there was a gathering of Filipinos in the house I'm staying at. They make me proud I have people like them here. They sacrifice their time and work just to go here and help me. They reached a compromise today and they formed a reformist movement called _La Solidaridad_. They aim for equality, freedom and representation of Filipinos to the Spanish courts since apparently, I don't have any. Rizal almost won presidency, but oh well, I'm sure the current one could be trusted too.

I feel like I could go back to my own country now. I've been far away for too long. I miss the smell of the morning air when I wake up, the golden rice fields, the white sandy beaches, even those high brick red walls I have long escaped from. Isn't it ironic for me, a country, to feel homesick?

**

* * *

**

**September 2, 1891**

**Paris****, France**

Dear Alfred,

I really don't know what to say! I mean, this must have cost you a fortune! I can't accept this! I'm not good enough to wear such an expensive item (why a ring anyway?). I'll keep it safe though until I could meet you again and return it to you because it might get lost in the mail (now I have to take care of it along with Uncle Yao's pendant). I should have suspected that it's going to be something like this when you said I have to open it at home! You're so unfair! You were trying to make sure I keep it in me, at least! What if I chucked it to the trashcan? But I hate it when you know I won't do that.

If you were able to read this, I'm glad you had a safe journey. Sometimes I just dread boarding boats because I don't like the view of the ocean with no land on sight. I'm going back to Hongkong again next week. I'm so tired. After I leave France, I won't be going back to Europe anymore. I feel like a foreigner having enough of others' belongings surrounding me.

I'm getting more and more restless as the days flew by. I could feel it, the growing sense of nationalism of my people, the pride, the anger, the pain, the anticipation, the thirst for revenge. It was consuming all of my thoughts day in and day out it's like forcing me to take action. I don't know if I'm ready yet, but I'm sure I want to be there for them.

P.S. Rizal won't talk to me for a whole day when I showed him the ring. And then he told me something so upsetting, I refuse to believe it. I want to trust you, Alfred.

**

* * *

**

**June 28, 1892**

**Hongkong**

I seriously tried to consider your suggestion, but I still stand by my initial answer last week. I don't want to implicate you further in my mess. I'm not trying to avoid you, I just want to resolve this on my own and there's no guarantee that this would escalate into a full-scale war yet. I won't readily go into arms again like my fatal mistake last time.

I'm still a bit surprised as to why you gave me a gun when I returned the ring to you, but I'll remember what you instructed me to do with the gun, that I use it not to kill, but to protect myself from my enemies. Arthur said a thing or two about your '_inappropriate_' gifting ability again but I'll ignore him this time.

I'm worried for Rizal. The Governor-General considers him an enemy of the state because of his novels. I just had to admire his courage in facing his adversities.

I've been preparing for this day for over two decades now. I'll be going back to the land of my people.

P.S. And this time, I refuse to be beaten.

**

* * *

**

**July 7, 1892 around midnight**

**Somewhere in Manila outside the walled city**

Clara silently moved in the shadows of the trees, carefully assessing her surroundings before making a move. She needed to be discrete with every action she took, lest she's being followed. She had taken several different routes now and she was sure no one was able to keep track of her what with the darkness of the night enveloping her on all sides.

Soon, she saw the small hut in the distance, a faint light emitting from the small lamp hanging on one of the bamboo posts of the small nipa hut. As she moved closer, she could see the small congregation of men outside the hut.

All the men turned their attention to her when she walked out of the forest and into the open light.

A woman quickly made her way to Clara and covered her with a thick blanket. "I'm so glad you're safe. We've been worried sick wondering how you escaped." she was ushered towards the table that was in the center of the congregation. One man stood up to allow her some room to sit in.

"Are all of you aware of Jose Rizal being arrested this afternoon for forming _La Liga Filipina _three days ago_?" _she started, the commanding tone in her voice made the men who seemed to be uninformed of her existence to cease their relentless whispers. They nodded in affirmation of what she already knew they are aware of. "It is officially disbanded by the Governor-General now through Rizal's deportation to Dapitan. But I want its members to still continue to push through with _La Liga Filipina_'s aims of achieving moderate social reforms through peaceful and legal means."

"Achieving reforms through peaceful methods is no longer the case, Clara." A voice came from behind them all, and Clara narrowed her eyes to look at the newcomer. "The Spaniards refused to negotiate. They are not letting Rizal go."

"Rizal believed that the government could be reasoned with. I believe Rizal."

"We, too, believe what Rizal has taught us. He has shown us natives where we stand against those oppressive foreigners. It's high time we assert our claim over the motherland."

Clara stood up in contempt, "I am _here_! I _am _the motherland! And I refuse to use violent means to achieve my own ends! There had been enough bloodshed throughout my history, something all of you never had to remember, so do not say you're readily taking arms just because Rizal's peaceful method failed! I'm not allowing any more blood to be spilled over my land!" she glared down at any man who dared to open their mouths to oppose her.

The newcomer moved in closer to her, allowing his face to be seen in the light. He had the same determined look as Clara to tide the opinion to his side. "I've seen enough of how the Spaniards treated my countrymen all my life. We're lesser than humans, our lives amount next to nothing and they would not hesitate to use weapons against us at the slightest chance we give them, Clara. Weapons that could kill!"

And Clara knew every single man present there had already made up their mind when they came here, to take up arms and to revolt against the Spaniards. Clara looked hard into the newcomer's eyes, trying to find the slightest hint of fear in his eyes. As she had expected, there was none. There was no fear present within the whole assembly of men in this place.

"That you lay down your life before me, is it your truest intention?" she cupped the man's face in her hands and the man closed his eyes and allowed himself to kneel on the ground before her. And Clara's eyes softened when all of the men knelt down on the ground all around her, the few women watching from the sidelines, crying with pride for their husbands and sons. Clara was the only one left standing.

"Yes, nothing is nobler, purer and more sublime than the wish in me to lay down my life to give you flight."

She turned to address all the men kneeling before her, "Are you all aware that you're endangering the lives of your family, of your beloved, and your own to fight for my sake, and my sake alone?"

There was a collective, "Yes." from the men. Clara closed her eyes tightly, _Rizal, what should I do? I don't want to let them go to battle, but they…they are…_

"Then I encourage all of you to do what you see fit for the situation, I won't disagree with you anymore but I'm not agreeing with you either. Until you could prove to me that this is the right path to take, I will continue the advocacy of _La Liga Filipina_." She announced, then she turned to the man kneeling closest to her, the man she knew to be the instigator of this meeting.

"You, will you lead these men as their _Supremo_?"

The man stared at her then bowed his head. "There is no greater honor than leading my countrymen to freedom."

She cupped his face in her warm hands, making him look up at her, and she kissed him on the forehead as a blessing, "My faith and my countrymen lies in you, Andres Bonifacio."

**

* * *

**

**Again, I'd have to apologize for little historical facts incorporated in this chapter….and also too much drama (I can't believe I made something like this again!!!) If I knew 'I' wrote this, I'd probably fall over laughing at myself. Shit, I forgot I have midterms tomorrow…crap, I'm bomb.**

**And as for Romano and Spain's bit there...their vague relationship would have some use to me in the future...hehe....  
**

**Some real facts in here though:**

**----Beginning with the years 1982 and up, whenever I mention Rizal being in one place at the letters, he really is there. I researched Rizal's travel diary and I could say it would be such a bummer if I was Rizal's stalker. He does not stay put for too long in one place, it's annoying. I originally planned for Clara to be his constant companion throughout his travels abroad but I didn't know he went to twenty different places in the span of almost ten years, not mentioning he kept of going back and forth between two places. He's such a pain to track down. **

**----All of Rizal's comments like he envisioned Clara to have future relations with Japan, is true. He did say that when he went to Japan. And as to what Rizal said about America to Clara, that would be revealed sometime later. Though you'd surely figure that out if you searched enough in his biography.**

**-----We all know Bonifacio is the Supremo of the Katipunan. He made the secret society on the same day that Rizal was arrested for _La Liga Filipina_…or if not, the day after. My sources are varied.**

**-----Rizal is strongly opposed to an armed revolt!!! **

**Well then…I'm nearing the PHILIPPINE REVOLUTION!! WEEE!!! I'm so excited to write how Antonio, Clara and Alfred would go to war with each other!!!!!**


	7. Sorry, but we're rebelling: Part I

**Present day: morning after partying all night**

She had a killer headache and no idea where she was going or how she's going to get there. Philippines massaged her throbbing head with one hand as she desperately tried to walk normally. She's swaying on her feet, and _please Brunei, go walk on your own._ Brunei, who probably felt as crappy as she did, was clinging on her other arm for support. Even Brunei could barely keep walking straight seeing as she's half-asleep and superbly dizzy too. _Damn, I feel so sick. I swear I'll start drinking moderately from now on! Or I'll never schedule a 16-hour flight at seven in the morning the day after! My headache's killing me!_

After a few more minutes of tiredly trudging their way through the crowded airport, Philippines gave up even trying. Her knees buckled beneath her and she sank to the floor, dragging down Brunei with her. Brunei did not even complain, she must have not felt the difference in their pace, she's already dead to the world minutes ago.

Philippines felt like crying. The other ASEAN nations were no longer in sight since they were already running late when they got to the airport. And since Philippines' and Brunei's flights were scheduled a little bit later than the rest, they could afford to lag behind a little too, though they all arrived at the airport together. After quick 'goodbye's' and 'see you soon!'s, each one of them left.

The quiet Indonesia who always watches her back had long since gone too. Actually, he offered to miss his flight in order to accompany her home and see to it that she arrived there safely but she insisted that she could take it. She knew that was the right thing to do since Indonesia was much further away than her home and she knew Indonesia really can't afford some time to accompany her. She's really thankful for the gesture but, he really didn't need to do that. She could take care of her own until she gets home…but apparently, with her and Brunei sitting on the floor like that that people were already staring, she can't handle her own. She's way too sick to even stand, furthermore, Brunei is about to miss her flight!

"Brunei…Brunei…" she prodded the sleeping girl who dismissively swiped a hand at her and grumbled something in her native language. "Brunei! Stand up! Your flight is up in fifteen minutes!"

"Oh…let the damn plane go without me! Let me sleep!"

"You could go sleep on the plane, mine's up in twenty minutes, look!" Philippines pointed to the board. She stood up quickly and tried to pull the other nation up.

"I can't take this anymore!" Brunei sluggishly rose to her feet and dragged her travel bag after her, walking to the boarding terminal to Brunei. "Bye, Phili! See you soon!" she waved behind her and continued walking in a fast pace, slightly hunched, making everyone in front of her part to give her way. She must have looked menacing instead of desperate for a break.

"Have a safe trip; I'll be picking you up in your place before we go to the ASEAN meeting!" Philippines shouted after Brunei. The latter waved her hand again as a gesture that she heard it.

Philippines then proceeded to run up to the check-in counter of the flight to her home. Since she did not bring much things, actually, more than half of her luggage were composed of 'pasalubong' she had bought for everyone at home, from politicians to the gardeners that went in and out of her house.

"Pilipinas!" a few voices called out from behind her. She slowly whirled around to see who called her and saw some of her countrymen heading towards the check-in counters as well. "We're going home too!"

One of the things Philippines always liked when boarding planes going back home is when she sees her overjoyed countrymen exhilarating at the prospect of finally going back home, to where their real families were, to where, Philippines thought, they truly belonged. As much as she hated seeing them go to some foreign countries to earn their living, she had long accepted the fact that she was in no state to give them everything they could wish for, to provide them the comforts working in another country could give them, to give them the security that their loved ones would have everything they need. Everyday, Clara worked hard towards her goal of keeping the country afloat amidst the massive blows to her economy and government. She knew that not all who promised to alleviate her burdens had really done anything at all that even closely resembles 'public service', but Clara remained patient with them. There was no use blaming them, no matter how much of her problems were their fault, so she devoted herself to being a model citizen, to act like how she expected her own people to act, and hopefully, they'll follow suit too.

She gave them a big smile despite wanting to throw up so badly. "Thank you for your hard work…"

They smiled at her in return, one of them, a woman in her forties, stepped forward and clasped Philippines hands in hers, "You didn't have to thank us, that we could be of help to you from across the world is something that we are proud of. So just hang in there, we know you're tired. We're going home."

Philippines muttered a 'thank you' again and led them through customs. Once it was her turn to have her bag checked, she noticed the guard look her over before speaking in hushed tones in his wireless. He then turned to her and said, "Miss, please follow me to the office, we seem to have a problem, your flight would wait for you."

"Huh? Why? What's wrong?" she said, inching away from the guard. As far as she knew, there's nothing illegal in her bag or anywhere on her for that matter, so why the hell is she being called away that they would have to guarantee her that her flight would wait for her.

"It's standard procedure, Miss. Please go this way." The guard gestured towards a long hallway where only employees seem to pass through.

Philippines felt cold sweat at her back. God, she's so dizzy and this man just had to hold her up at the terminal when all she wanted to do was sit on the plane and be dead for the whole flight. Making up her mind, she turned back towards the group of Filipinos behind her who all gave her confused looks, "Sorry, I had to go to their office. I'll be back quickly but just go ahead without me," she told them, giving them a reassuring smile before she picked up her bag and proceeded to follow the guard.

"We'll be waiting for you to get back!" a man called after her.

She looked over her shoulder and let out a giggle, "Don't let the plane leave no matter what!"

If only she knew what she had in store for her, she would have resisted till the very end. If only she got on that plane home…

She was led through a long white hallway, passing airport employees and many rooms but the walk never ended in any one of those doors. They walked and walked, turning left and right until the number of people she could see around them decreased until she could no longer feel secure enough following an unknown man. She had contemplated running back but…she could no longer remember how to get back. They had been walking for twenty minutes now and she's getting more anxious by the minute. She walked a bit faster and tapped the guard's shoulder, "Um…excuse me, we've been walking for a while now…where exactly are you taking me?" _Could I run now?_

She stopped walking and stepped back as silently as she could and when the guard just continued walking, she completely turned around to take a run for it when suddenly, there were three men going her way and they were looking at her. She backed away again and jumped when she felt herself ram into someone, she realized, the guard. She gasped in fright when the man grabbed her by the arms and held her there while the three men were zooming down on them. "Let me go!" she beat the man with her fist but it was no use. He did not even bat an eye when she started clawing on his face. That was the first time in a long while that she ever felt really threatened. "What do you want with me? Unhand me now!"

Then she felt a blunt force on the back of her head and she fell to the ground, conscious but unable to move. She watched with tears in her eyes as they threw a black blanket over her and wrapped her in it, then proceeding to carry her off to god knows where. She could feel the blood rushing through her hair and she felt more drained. She could not even dry her own tears. She wasn't restrained but she could not even fight back. She felt degraded that she could not even protect herself properly despite all the 'self-defense' lessons she had been taught before. She felt so useless and weak. _God, what's going to happen next?_

She heard doors being opened and despite the blanket covering her, she felt the blowing of the wind. They were already outside the airport. But where are they taking her? Next thing she heard was the skidding of tires before they at least gently laid her on something akin to a stretcher. And she feared all the more when she realized they were on the Tarmac. "Help…help…" but it came out of her mouth in incomprehensible sounds, owing to the restrictions of the cover on her and the pain in her head. She was much too afraid to succumb to unconscious no matter how much her instincts were screaming at her to just shut off all the pain.

She felt the rolling stop and the blanket lifted just a little over her head. The men looked down at her indifferently before one of them clamped a respirator over her mouth and nose. She no longer had time to protest as her eyes slowly drooped and in seconds, she was already dead to the outside world. _Wake up, Clara! You can't let them do this to you!_

Hours later, she woke up to find herself sitting in an antique looking chair in a small circular room. She panicked when she found out her clothes had been changed too, from the plain civilian outfit of blue blouse and skinny jeans, it had been changed to a pure white off-shoulder dress that reached above her knees. Despite the decent clothing, she felt bare. The cold air from the AC unit was not much help as it only served to discomfort her. Though the dizziness was gone, her head throbbed painfully every time she moves it. She reached a hand over the back of her head to feel where the men had hit her and she was sure had bled. There was something covering it. At least they were kind enough to bandage her up.

"Anyone there? Hello?" she eventually stood up when she was sure she was allowed to do so at least. She looked around the room. There was no one in there except for her, and there was nothing in there except for the chair she was sitting on and the door in front of her. She tried for the door and she was a surprised to find that it was unlocked. She quickly opened it and peeked at the other side. It looked pretty much a luxurious living room. There were plush chairs lining up the walls and there was a shiny wooden table in the middle. A large television was situated against one wall and the floor is carpeted a rich red. She wondered why there were no windows and the ceiling was concaved.

She got out of the room and closed the door gently behind her. She must get out of here, no matter how safe-looking this place was. She can't possibly be truly safe here.

"Ah, I see, you're awake now. Good. Good. I was afraid my men had hurt you badly. Please join me for tea, Miss Philippines," a voice said out of nowhere and Clara jumped in surprised. A man stood up from one of the couches with its back to her and that was when she saw him.

She shook her head. "Who are you?"

The man smiled. He must be in his fifties, with his white shock of hair and mustache and the wrinkles in his face. He was wearing a white suit and she wondered if her clothes were his doing too, seems like he likes white too much. He looked like an everyday grandfather whose favorite hobby is fishing…but this guy…exudes far more than old age…there was something about him that garnered respect the moment you set eyes on him.

The man smirked, "Forgive me, my lady. My name is Dmitri Leonov…and you are currently in my plane heading to my house. Please, please, take a seat, I tire very much just by standing. Here, here." he offered her the couch in front of where he was sitting and sat back down again.

Clara was wary of his intention but decided that listening to him for a moment could give her some clue as to why he'd kidnapped her. She sat down in the offered couch and politely refused when he poured tea for her.

"Please state your business. I may or may not put up with it by the way your men had treated me earlier. Is it normal for you to kidnap people when you want to get them on a plane to your house?" she glared at him.

The older man chuckled and linked his hands, "Well then, since my little girl wants to get down to business already, I guess I'd just have to obey her. I have something I want to have you help me with. And of course, there is a little reward for you in it too. You are a nation, aren't you?" there was a demonic glint in his eyes that sent shivers down Clara's spine. This man…cannot be trusted to be doing good.

"Y-yes, I am. But what does it have to do with anything? And I'm not going to help you anyway, so never mind, and please drop me off in the nearest airport. Thanks for the tea." She stood up, though not sure how she's even going to get out, or if she's even going to get out.

The man smiled at her, "Please sit back down, and we're not finished yet. I'm sure you want to know what I'm up to." When she did not obey, his smile dropped and he gave her a stern look, "I said, please sit down."

Clara tried hard to stop the trembling in her gait. This can't be good. She's trapped in a plane with a madman. She was almost sure nothing could be gained from this but trouble. She sat back down.

"Very good. Now, Miss Clara, how does the position of being the world's dominant superpower appeal to you?"

_Oh God, he's crazy. Take me away from this scary man. Why does this have to happen to me all the time?_ "Excuse me?"

The man let out a breath and leaned back comfortably in his seat. "I'm saying I'm going to give you the world in a silver platter, in exchange for your help."

Clara really, really want to lock the man up in an insane asylum and forgot all of this ever happened. She can't bear listening to him. Is he a prospective terrorist or something? And what would she do with the world, anyway? She's glad where she stood with the others. "You're insane."

The man smirked at her, "Miss Clara, you don't even know the half of it."

Six months later, the whole world was left stunned as Clara declared the start of the third world war.

* * *

**June 8, 1892 – August 25, 1896**

Clara patiently waited for the days to pass by. She also made a point not to issue commands pertaining to a revolution and she just let the interested men organize themselves, though she checks on them from time to time to see what they had accomplished.

She had continued with the advocacy of _La Liga Filipina _even in the prolonged absence of Rizal. He was exiled in Dapitan in Mindanao for a long time. Every month, she got reports on how the man was doing in captivity. She even encouraged his affair with a certain Irish woman he had met in Dapitan. Clara smirked as she read his letter telling her that he wished to marry said woman. She had jokingly replied that she was somewhat jealous that someone else gets to marry her Jose. Rizal replied seriously that Clara could be sure that Rizal still loves her most no matter what. She missed him all the more and she prayed that he stayed safe. He's currently quarantined in a ship in Manila harbor since the Spanish government wanted his services to help with the Cuban War of Independence. Rizal had agreed in exchange for getting out of Dapitan.

As she sat under the mango tree she had been waiting in, she looked up to the sky and frowned. La Liga Filipina was close to complete dissolution now. It was split into two groups, the radicals and the conservatives. The radicals subsumed into the Katipunan or their formal name "_Kataastaasan Kagalanggalangang Katipunan ng Mga Anak ng Bayan_ (_Highest and Most Respected Association of the Sons of the Country_). She liked the name very much though she had doubts about their objectives. What they had in mind is very dangerous. The conservatives, on the other hand, Clara later realized, were mostly composed of the wealthier Filipinos. They too, subsumed into another subgroup of the league, the _Cuerpo de Compromisarios_, which pledged continued support to the reformists in Spain. Clara was part of the latter. However, every move that had been made so far were done with great secrecy and discretion. The Spaniards were already suspicious that the Filipinos were up to something for a long time now and they had already guessed as close as that it is akin to the existence of a secret revolutionary society. Because all in all, the Katipunan is a government in itself.

Until a talkative Katipunero blabbed it to his sister who then told him to confess everything to a parish friar and so landed them to their current predicament now. There was an extensive manhunt for all Katipunan members. Hundreds of arrests were made, whether they were proven innocent or guilty. It had become more dangerous times.

Clara sighed and opened her copy of _Kalayaan _(freedom), a newspaper published by the Katipunan to read and pass the time while she waited for Emilio Jacinto, Bonifacio's closest friend and confidant, to pick her up and take her to Pasig. She had been moving from one place to another ever since rumors circulated that she was already inside the country again. Last time she checked, Antonio was also in the country too. The day that they'll meet again, Clara felt that it was too soon already. No matter how much she imagined how their meeting would turn out she still can't seem to be ready to face him. It hurts to say the words she wanted to the father she loved the most. But for the sake of her people, she had to bear everything. She had already started this twenty years ago. She had to finish it. She had to win.

_Nothing dear to a person of pure heart_

_Is denied to the country that gave him birth:_

_Blood, wealth, knowledge, sacrifices,_

_Even if life itself ends._

Clara blushed. No matter how much she repeated reading Bonifacio's poem "Love for the Homeland", she can't help but get bothered and embarrassed…somehow. Everything in the paper was pertaining to her and implying a call to revolution. Damn, Bonifacio never wastes time. Well, Clara thought, at least they still heeded her. Even now, they still valued Rizal's warnings. It was like the only thing that holds them back from fully calling to arms amidst the arrests.

_If this country is in danger  
and she needs defending,  
Forsaken are the children,  
the wife, the parents, the brothers and sisters  
at the country's beck and call._

Though she also can't help but admire their dedication to her. It was impressive. Especially with the publication of _Kalayaan_, membership to the _Katipunan_ went from 300 only to hundreds of thousands all throughout the country. Today, she was going to Pasig after Bonifacio called for a meeting of the major leaders of the secret society in order to formalize talks about the revolt.

"Mahal ko, you're reading his poem again, don't you like mine too? I'm a better writer than Andres, he admitted that already…I'm getting jealous," a voice came up from behind her. Clara jumped in surprise and proceeded to hit the newcomer with the rolled up newspaper. "Ouch! Hey! I'm kidding! I came to get you! Geez, you hate me, don't you?" he pouted.

"Don't call me that! You always sneak up on me! Don't do that, especially at times like this that I'm paranoid since I'm a wanted person!" she glared at him. Emilio Jacinto grinned at her.

"Yeah, me and Bonifacio were betting how long it will take before you land yourself in jail. Wait, if that happens, should I bail you out? If I could get a kiss, I'd gladly penetrate the deepest prison for-Ouch! Who?!?" Jacinto turned around to see an irritated Bonifacio standing behind him. Clara giggled. Another thing she liked, secretly, about them.

"I'm glad to see you're safe, Clara. Don't believe a word this estupido is saying. Let's get going before anyone comes." he then said in a reprimanding tone to his friend, "Stop messing around with Clara. Get a wife if you want a kiss." He said as they started walking towards the fettered horses. Bonifacio pulled her onto his horse before Jacinto could pull her on his.

"Hey! This is oppression! Why do you always get her? I'll tell Gregoria on you!" Jacinto whined.

Clara giggled and made funny mocking faces as Bonifacio proceeded to give the younger man a bump on the head. "Act like a respectable lawyer, will you? Sometimes I can't believe you wrote the _Kartilla _when you're acting like this.

"Hahaha...yeah…it's better than your Decalogue, ain't it?"

Clara and Bonifacio rolled their eyes in frustration. He's so easy to control yet he's extremely loyal to Bonifacio.

* * *

Clara's headache intensified when they started shouting. She had ceased peeking from the semi-closed door at the meeting of the major players of Katipunan and started pacing the room she was in, along with some women, who were also Katipuneras. As far as anyone could tell, the meeting was not going well. The opinions were split into two factions. Bonifacio who wants to proceed with the revolution now and Emilio Aguinaldo, the head of the Katipunan in Cavite, who wants to give it some more time due to the lack of sufficient firearms. Just like she promised, she did not join in the fray. She'd remain loyal to Rizal's beliefs until Rizal says otherwise. Because she trusts that Rizal would know what's the best for her since she knew him the longest and she had listened and made to understand his beliefs as he said them.

"My child, come over here, don't force yourself to listen to those men, they're not going to reach a consensus anytime soon." a gentle voice called from behind her. Clara turned and acknowledged the old woman by touching the woman's hand to her forehead. She sat down on the floor beside the old woman's rocking chair and laid her aching head on the woman's lap.

"Tandang Sora…" she whispered as she closed her eyes for a much desired sleep but the throbbing of her head won't allow her. "Do I deserve to be waged a war for?"

"You are so beautiful…but war does not befit you, my child…"

"Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve all their kindness…yes, war does not befit me. But I don't have the power to stop them, for I am made by their wills. If they wish to go to war, then I have no choice but to go with them."

The old woman chuckled, put down her embroidery and began stroking Clara's hair, "They are your men, that's how they are. They are naturally brave. I'm proud that my son is one of them. Be proud of them too, for they love you so much."

Clara smiled and before she could open her mouth to say 'thanks', the door flew open and in came Jacinto and Bonifacio, who still seemed to be fuming. Gregoria immediately went to calm her husband down. She sat him down on one of the chairs while Jacinto went to fetch a drink of water for him.

"What happened? What have you decided to do?" she asked, standing up from the floor and going to his other side.

Bonifacio looked at her seriously before speaking, "We're entering a revolution, Clara. We're launching an offensive against the Spanish colonial army…and we're rescuing Rizal before he's taken out of the country. Everyone has agreed that he's far too valuable for this movement."

Jacinto came back with the glass of water which he offered to Bonifacio. Andres refused the offer and Jacinto quickly drowned the water he fetched himself. Clara glared at him and brought down her outstretched hand. "We're getting him out tomorrow. You'll get to see your beloved Pepe after a long time, ain't ya' happy?"

"Who's going to get him?"

Bonifacio nodded towards Jacinto. Jacinto grinned at her. "Andres and your beloved Jacinto, of course!"

Clara rolled her eyes at him then turned her attention back to the silent Bonifacio, "I want to go with you."

Bonifacio stared at her then shook his head, "No, it's much too risky…like all people here, we can't risk losing you either. Please stay here and we'll bring Rizal to you safely." It sounded more like an order than a request.

"How do you expect to get in?" she asked.

"We're going to disguise ourselves as sailors, of course! Ain't that neat?" Jacinto answered for Andres.

Clara smiled at him for the first time that evening, "Why thank you, Jacinto. Yes, it is neat."

* * *

Jacinto can't deny that he's an educated man. And an educated man knows how to respect ladies. But right now, he just can't stop laughing. At least he stopped himself from rolling on the ground now. This girl is really epic. He had lost count on how many times she had gotten on Bonifacio's nerves after all these years that she had tied her life close to theirs. And as said girl stood in their way, scowling at Jacinto's mockery of her appearance, Clara had the urge to beat the crap out of him once and for all.

"Ahahahahahaha! Mahal ko, you look so funny. Ahahahahahaha!"

"Shush, Jacinto! Shut your mouth!" Clara was really close to making up her mind about beating the crap out of him if he does not stop laughing.

Bonifacio's eyebrow twitched in irritation, first at his best friend and now at the girl standing in front of them, decked in the same Spanish sailor uniform as the two of them. They were in a dark alley near the harbor now. And what more, Clara cut her hair until it's an inch above her shoulders..

"Why did you disobey me, Clara?" Andres asked solemnly, not really wanting to give Clara the impression that he's angry at her, no, he could not get angry at her. "I expected you to do this much but why do you always do what I expect you to? Sometimes I just wish you fail me. You won't listen even when I say it's dangerous or we could manage it by ourselves. Why don't you get it that we are worried about you? Why do you always throw yourself into danger knowing that we are doing this to _protect_ you?"

Clara knew that and God, did she always pray everyday for their lives. Who else could appreciate the things they had done all this years more than she herself, the motherland. Of course she knew what they were doing is dangerous, heck, their very existence is dangerous! As much as they wanted to protect her, she also wanted to protect them by herself. Even if she had thoroughly refused to sanction a revolution, she still wanted to be by their side. Because even if they had different means of achieving it, they all only had one goal: Independence from the colonial powers.

"I know that you've been trying your best to protect me all this time and all that you aim for is done for my sake. But even if I'm also looking towards the same goal as you, I'm also aiming for the preservation of all your lives. I am happy that you pledged your lives to me and that's exactly what makes you important to me. How could I expect my countrymen to stand up when I myself am afraid to stand up to our common enemies? You could protect me, but I can't hide forever. I easily bend to the will of my people, sooner or later, even I would lose my own will and call for a bloody war. So please, while I still have my own will, let me change the things I wish to change, to talk about my own opinions, to carry out the things I intend to do."

Bonifacio looked at her like he did all those years ago when he founded the Katipunan and knew that like that time, she can't be swayed when she had already made up her mind. "Follow me closely." He said as he passed by her and went out into the harbor.

Clara made to follow but Jacinto held her hand in his and smiled at her reassuringly, "Believe me, I, too, worry for you. You're so cheeky sometimes. That's what I like about you. But believe me, too, when I say Bonifacio cares deeply for you. So just obey him next time, mahal ko." He chuckled and pushed down on her head playfully. She let out a yelp and elbowed him in the gut.

"Don't call me that! People will misunderstand!"

Jacinto just chuckled again after he recovered, "I still mean it, though. You're the first woman I ever saw with short hair and you're still so beautiful." He ran his hand through her soft black hair and brought it to his lips. "The things you do…hey, do you know? You make a convincing young man! I knew you lack some parts!"

She swatted his hand away and tucked her hair inside the cap she was wearing. "Let's go get Rizal, you pervert."

They went out into the cold dimly lit harbor and searched for Rizal's ship. They saw Bonifacio in the distance, about to board a ship, but he waited for the two of them to catch up when he caught sight of them. As the three of them climbed through the board to the ship, he said, "Rizal's room is in the first floor directly below deck, the second door on the right. Most of the ship's occupants are sleeping now so security is lax. It would be easy to get to Rizal once we reach the stairs going down but the majority of the night officers are on deck so we'll have to make sure to avoid meeting them so we have to watch out carefully, we'll have exactly fifteen minutes before the guards at the harbor patrols around this area again."

Jacinto and Clara both nodded in understanding. They stepped into the ship. The coast was clear. They silently sneaked to the stairs and proceeded to the appointed room for Rizal. "Ain't that fairly easy, mates?" Jacinto said as he opened the door.

"Yeah…I'm nervous as hell now." Clara answered. She stepped into the darkened room and called for Rizal…no one answered. "It seems he's not here." She returned to her companions outside the room. Jacinto closed the door again. "Maybe he's somewhere else on the ship, let's go split up and find him." She suggested.

Seeing as there's no more efficient way to accomplish the job faster, Andres and Jacinto agreed, though albeit reluctantly cause that would mean Clara would be left unguarded, so one of them went with her. "Let's meet again at the entrance in twenty minutes. Get off the boat when that time passes, even if one of us two did not make it back, understood, Clara?" Bonifacio instructed. They separated ways, Clara and Jacinto going back to the upper deck, Bonifacio in the other rooms below deck.

Clara and Jacinto walked side by side on the halls on deck, checking rooms one by one for signs of Rizal. He wasn't in anyone of them and Clara started to lose hope about finding Rizal whenever she finds another empty room. What if Rizal had already been taken out of this boat? What if they had him some place dark and hidden, like a prisoner?"

Clara felt a hand tighten on hers and Jacinto whispering, "Don't worry, we'll find him soon enough, there's still Andres searching the rooms down there if he's not here."

She nodded and continued wishing that Rizal would show up anytime now so they'll just have to grab him and run for their lives. When they met an authentic Spanish sailor, everything was screwed up. They weren't aware that the drunk sailor was of higher ranking compared to what the uniform they were wearing indicated what theirs were. In short, they failed to salute him. Unfortunately, even in his drunken stupor, the Spaniard did not fail to notice the lack in respect from his troops.

"Where do you think you're going not giving me any respect? Is that how you were supposed to treat your commander? I'll send you back to training, you idiots!" he said.

Jacinto and Clara stopped walking and reluctantly turned around and gave him a meek salute. And unfortunately too, the man also inspected their faces. "Wait, you're not Spanish, I don't remember recruiting guys like you here."

"We're new, Sir." Clara answered, but quickly covered her mouth after she said it.

"A woman? I don't recruit women! Who are you-," he did not get to finish that sentence when Jacinto pounced on him and proceeded to knock him out. The commotion had caught the attention of nearby guards and soon as they saw them, chased after them.

"Mahal ko, you are going to be the death of me." he said before pulling her hand and taking a run for it. They ran into the long halls, followed by shouts of 'Stop!' in spanish. They continued running and running until they managed to leave behind all those who ran after them. They sneaked inside another room when they were sure they were not seen. After closing the door, Jacinto locked it and slid down the floor beside Clara, regaining his breath and calming his heart. "That was crazy, I had never ran like that in my entire life. You attract too much trouble."

"Don't talk as if it's my fault, Jacin-," she stopped when suddenly there was a pointed sword in front of her face. Jacinto immediately pulled her to him to shield her.

"What do you seek here?" the unknown man said.

And despite the darkness, Clara instantly recognized that voice. "Jose, it's me, Filipinas."

Jacinto's hold on her loosened just as the sword was withdrawn. They stood up and fixed themselves while Rizal went towards the table to further illuminate the room. When the room was sufficiently bright for them to recognize faces, Clara quickly ran to Rizal and gave him tight embrace. "I missed you so much…I missed you so much…I was always scared of what they might do to you…I'm so glad to see you."

"Me too, Clara. I missed you too. I'm glad you're alright." After returning Clara's embrace, he held her to his side and acknowledged Jacinto with a handshake. "See here, Pepe, we came to get you!" she said excitedly as if she was on a great adventure or something like a mission.

Rizal's smile dropped and he looked at her seriously, cupping her face in his hands to make her look at him, "I'm sorry, Clara, but I can't go with you." He said with finality.

Clara was confused. What reason could Rizal possibly have to refuse to go with her? Is he happy to be a captive? True, she did not know what to expect when it came to Rizal, but at least she thought he had wanted to be free that's why he agreed to serve in Cuba. "But why? Did they threaten you?" she asked, even if she knew Rizal was strong enough to not succumb to petty threats.

"You know I don't heed to threats Clara. I can't go with you because I'd be putting you in more danger if I went free. I don't support the revolution, Clara, please know that."

"Me too! I don't want them to fight! But I still want to get you out of here, Jose! I can't stand leaving you behind now that I know we have a chance to escape together! Please, go with me?" she pleaded, not knowing that she had regressed to crying.

Rizal felt his heart break as he watched his beloved nation cry, pleading with him to go with her. Ah, how much he wanted to stay by her side, but alas, it must not be. He's the most prominent enemy of the state now. Further involvement with her would lead to only suffering. He kept to his beliefs that freedom could be achieved through peaceful and bloodless negotiations with the proper authorities. And his fellow countrymen does not seem to realize that they lack the ability to organize themselves, to acknowledge that they are still powerless among their unified enemy. The fact that they don't consider themselves as one proves to their failure. They won't succeed. Rizal knew. And he would strive to prevent encouraging that.

He gently pushed her towards Jacinto and shook his head. "I'm sorry, Clara. But I have decided to stay here. Please understand that I'm not abandoning you, rather, I'm trying my best to help you. I love you Clara. I don't wish for you to get hurt." He then said to Jacinto, "You shouldn't stay here for too long, you need to go as quickly as you can. I'll help you escape. Tell Bonifacio to take care of Clara and never hand her over to anyone he had deemed as an enemy, anyone at all, is that clear?"

"Yes, sir." Jacinto said.

Clara struggled out of Jacinto's grasp and clung onto Rizal. "No! Jose! Please! Please! Please! I'd listen to everything you say! I'd disarm the troops! I'd disband the Katipunan, just please! I beg of you! Go with me!" she sobbed on his shirt as she refused to let go even when Jacinto was pulling her away from Rizal. "I'm begging you…please, please, please, please, PLEASE?!?"

Rizal looked at the other man in the eye and Jacinto stopped trying to separate Clara from Rizal. When Clara felt Rizal's hand close over her fisted ones on his shirt, she found herself losing the strength to hold on to him and she knew she could no longer plead with him anymore. It was no use.

Jacinto wanted to sigh in resignation. Whenever Clara, Andres and Rizal decided on something, no one could sway them any further, but it seems their type of people could be reasoned with only by their own kind. What weird and difficult creatures he had befriended.

The three of them was startled with the door opening, but relaxed when Bonifacio entered and closed it behind him. He gave them one look before saying, "I guessed this is the right room," he looked like he also had been running before entering the room. Actually, it was a library. Shortly after he finished searching the lower deck, he beat down on a guard and some information out of him before he left him in a supplies closet. The guard had said that Rizal frequented the library so Bonifacio went there but it seems there was already a manhunt for Jacinto and Clara going on deck and he too, would not escape getting found out soon since the enemy seemed like good spotters of strange things. But he made his way to the room without being noticed so he relaxed for a bit just enough to regain his breath. And from the expression of grief on Clara's face, Bonifacio knew it was a no-win situation. If Clara was not able to persuade Rizal to go with them, and Andres was sure she tried her best in begging Rizal, then he, too, won't be able to do anything to remedy the situation anymore.

"We need to find another way to get out of here, they had blocked the exit." he said.

"There's a lifeboat attached to the balcony of this room, use it." Rizal said, pointing to a door at the back of the room. "Quick, they'd come to check on me anytime now."

Bonifacio nodded and the four of them went towards the balcony and stepped into the small boat. "Even if you do not support our revolution, I want you to know that I had valued your opinions thus far. But the call of war is inevitable now given our current predicament with the Spaniards. We shall proceed with it whether you approve of it or not." Bonifacio said.

Clara tried to dry her tears and send Rizal off with a smile on her face like she used to but she's far too sad with his decision that she can't even show her face as she hid behind Jacinto.

"I understand. Just don't forget the real reason as to why you are going to throw your fellow countrymen into a bloody war for. Don't lose your noble intentions, Bonifacio. If you could prove to me that what we are doing are the same, I will support you, wherever I may be." Rizal said.

"Then we must take our leave now, Rizal. I pray I made the right decision to leave you here."

Rizal nodded and then there was silence. They all looked at the girl still hiding behind Jacinto.

Rizal smiled. "Farewell, Clara, please don't do anymore reckless things. I'm sure these two men did not plan to take you here tonight."

Clara finally looked at him from behind Jacinto's shoulder and pouted before getting out of the boat and throwing her arms over his shoulders for one last hug. "No, not farewell, we'll see each other again. When that happens, I'd make you start listening to me!" she said and gave Rizal a kiss on the cheek.

And just like that, she was gone into the night. The next time they saw each other, they were in Bagumbayan on his execution day.

"Let's go to Balintawak."

* * *

**Translation: "Mahal ko" – my beloved**

**I don't know Bonifacio and Jacinto's personalities so I just came up with theirs here. I mostly played around with Jacinto's…and the fact that I see them as 'best friends', when Bonifacio was killed by Aguinaldo, Jacinto refused to subject himself to Aguinaldo's commands, which is kinda extremely loyal to his friend. They looked so cute here. **

**Haha…I was so busy I was not able to update last week…sorry…thanks to those who commented/reviewed on the previous chapter! I hope this one was satisfactory enough to make up for the missed week. **

**Real facts:**

---Bonifacio, Jacinto and Pio Valenzuela collaborated on the society's organ _Kalayaan_ (Freedom), which had only one printed issue. Bonifacio wrote several pieces for the paper, including the poem _Pag-ibig sa Tinubuang Lupà_ (roughly, "Love for the homeland) under the pseudonym _Agapito Bagumbayan_.

---The publication of _Kalayaan_ in March 1896 led to a great increase in membership. The _Katipunan_ spread throughout Luzon, to Panay in the Visayas and even as far as Mindanao. From less than 300 members in January 1896, it had about 30,000 to 400,000 by August.

---The rapid increase of _Katipunan_ activity drew the suspicion of the Spanish authorities. By early 1896, Spanish intelligence was aware of the existence of a seditious secret society. Suspects were kept under surveillance and arrests were made. **On May 3, Bonifacio held a general assembly of **_**Katipunan**_** leaders in Pasig where they debated when to start their revolt.** **While Bonifacio wanted to revolt as soon as possible, Emilio Aguinaldo of Cavite expressed reservations due to their lack of firearms.** The consensus was to consult José Rizal in Dapitan before launching their revolt. Bonifacio sent Pio Valenzuela to Rizal, who was against a premature revolution and recommended prior preparation.** (I omitted this last part and proceeded that the consensus they reached was to rescue Rizal)**

**---**The Spanish authorities confirmed the existence of the _Katipunan_ on August 19, 1896. Hundreds of Filipino suspects, both innocent and guilty, were arrested and imprisoned for treason. José Rizal was then on his way to Cuba to serve as a doctor in the Spanish colonial army, in exchange for his release from Dapitan. When the news broke, Bonifacio first tried to convince Rizal, quarantined aboard a ship in Manila Bay, to escape and join the imminent revolt. Bonifacio, Emilio Jacinto and Guillermo Masangkay disguised themselves as sailors and went to the pier where Rizal's ship was anchored. **Jacinto personally met with Rizal, who rejected their rescue offer.**

---Emilio Aguinaldo is the leader of the branch of Katipunan in Cavite…he's not playing a major role yet.

---Within the society, Bonifacio developed a strong friendship with Emilio Jacinto who served as his adviser and confidant, as well as a member of the Supreme Council. Bonifacio adopted Jacinto's _Kartilla_ primer as the official teachings of the society in place of his own _Decalogue_ which he judged as inferior.

**---Bonifacio is the 'third' Supremo of the Katipunan, he was not the first, **but since the first two were not (I think) prominent enough for any of you to associate with, I'd just settle with Bonifacio since when we think of Katipunan, we immediately think of Bonifacio (I did not even realize that Aguinaldo was a bona fide Katipunero until I started re-reading Philippine History, I'm such an idiot)

**--- Even though Rizal is a premier enemy of the state, security around him was always lax because he does even want to escape. In his trial, he was left unchained and had numerous chances to escape but he did not do so. He's so mysterious and cool.**


	8. Sorry, but we're rebelling: Part II

Philippines stared hard at the man in front of her. He had spouted way too much oddities than all of what America had put together. The world will be hers? She'll be a superpower? She doesn't want that kind of power. She can't wield that much authority. She hasn't even won a single war for herself yet!

"Sorry, but I really have to get going now. I won't be able to help you with anything." she said with finality. Never had she been this desperate that she contemplated parachuting outside...if she could find a parachute.

"Oh, you can't do that, Miss Philippines, I'm not giving you a choice. You'd have to do it, I know you can." Dmitri said too calmly for Clara's comfort. What the hell is a proposition she can't refuse? She's a legitimate sovereign country for more than a hundred years now and no one could force her to do anything against her will! She's getting more curious as to what they wish for her to do that they'd have to resort to kidnapping her, but she's sure that anything that had to do with the word "domination" is not taken kindly in her world.

"In what way do you want any help I could give you?" she looked hard at the man in front of her, daring him to lie to her. Or trying, but failing, to intimidate him into telling that she's just on some sort of gag show.

"Ah, I see, you're finally acquiescing, that's good. That's really good. I was wondering if you needed some more 'persuasion' to get you to agree with what I had in mind-," he was cut off by Clara's own voice.

"I'm not promising you anything, but I'll listen to you, if it's not to my liking and if you're planning to take over the world or some stupid shit like that, I'm going to have to stop you, right here, right now, _by all means_." And she's so effing serious about it.

The man chuckled at her tone, pressed a button on the armrest of his seat and in came two uniformed men who stood on both sides of her seat. Clara's eyes widened when she heard two loud 'clicks' behind her. The men were holding guns to her back. And from the looks of it, they were prepared to do more than just _point_ it. Clara hissed a few swear words before glaring at the older man in front of her. _How dare him!_

The man smiled at her again then nodded his head slightly at her, "Now that you're willing to listen, I say we get on with the conversation. Miss Philippines, I want you to stir up chaos in the Asian continent and hinder them from intervening with the matters of Europe and America. And of course, I'll be providing you with all your needs, since you're kind enough to help me get through with this."

Clara repressed her anger into a glare. Well, there would be no point to report him once she gets out of here if she could not get all the facts out. This man is a threat to all nations, and must be dealt with immediately. The man raised an eyebrow, stood up and walked over to the bar to pour some wine for himself. Clara did not take her eyes off him. "Who are you really? Why are you hell bent on creating war?"

Dmitri searched the cabinets for his favorite brand of wine, "I'm just a mere businessman, Miss Philippines."

Her eyes narrowed, "What kind of businessman?"

After pouring himself some wine from a really expensive French brand, the man continued, "As you know very well, war had always been a pretext for making money. Nations always waged war for profits. It is one of the largest industries in the world, though nations refuse to acknowledge that fact. America secured the position of being the world's superpower after World War Two, being the first and only nation then to possess nuclear power. But I'd like to contest that now. Nuclear weapons are made available to all nations who have the money to manufacture it. Russia, China, Pakistan, Iraq, United Kingdom, Japan, North Korea. And there are twenty or so more countries that have shown the capability of making their own. It is said that the third World War would be all about who has the greatest nuclear firepower. I am the kind of businessman all these countries will seek for when that time comes and I say you're in grave danger, Miss Philippines."

"I may be in grave danger but I have nothing to fear. The United Nations was created to prevent another global conflict. We are more aware of the advancement of warfare than any being in this planet and its dire consequences, . I assure you, for whatever reasons, a Third World War would never ever take place and your kind of businessman will be rendered useless."

Dmitri sighed and pulled out a large manila envelope below the small table in between them. He peered inside, smiled and handed it to Clara. With narrowed eyes, Clara took the offered envelope and opened it. There was a thick white folder inside and when she pulled it out, there was the familiar "TOP SECRET" written on it in bold red letters. She looked at the man across from her and he nodded in affirmation of her silent request. She laid the envelope on the table and placed the folder on top of it then read through its contents. Clara's eyes widened as she read through the contents, sometimes re-reading some passages to make sure she got it right…these all can't be true…these must be fabricated to manipulate her…the current status of world affairs…can't be this bad. "Yes, that is why I beg to differ." He smirked.

"Where did you get these?"

"Those, I assure you, my dear, are from a very reliable intelligence agency if not the best in the world." he calmly took a sip from his wine.

"This can't be true! I talked to Israel last week and he said he's still holding out just fine…and Uncle Yao can't be thinking of going to war with Taiwan, that's absurd! This is all bullcrap!" she shouted as she clutched some of the pages tightly in her hands.

Dmitri raised an eyebrow as if mocking her, "If you don't believe it don't look like you believe it so much. But I tell you, all that is written in that folder, are nothing but the truth. And it's not the kind of information even a country like you could possess at this point in time. I bet you have an idea on who could~." He grinned teasingly at her. Clara looked away, disgusted. The implications of that last statement, America couldn't have-…

"Why are telling me this? Why do you specifically pick me to cause war in my continent, against my own brothers and sisters?"

"Miss Philippines, in your history, how many times have you been invaded by foreign nations and been battlegrounds for war? You, my dear, are a valuable resource and a strategic location for naval and aerial bases." He walked over to her chair and leaned in too much for Clara's comfort. He smirked, used his right hand to tilt her chin up to make her look at him, "And this face…a face that had charmed many nations, a beauty that could fool…even America?"

Clara snapped away from his gaze and looked down at the floor. "I don't know what you're talking about. And refrain from touching me."

The man chuckled and stood up straight, taking a sip from his wine glass, "And as for your family, why is it that you can't assert yourself over them? Remember Spratly's and Sabah? Aren't they all rightfully yours? Why can't you claim them? Isn't it because you were afraid your own 'siblings' would turn against you, and you'll end up hurt?"

"If you think you're going to convince me to go to war against them because of some stupid useless islands, you're wrong. And I'm not afraid of them, I have no reason to, because I love them, they are my precious family."

"Stupid useless islands? My dear, whoever owns them, gains an advantage in the world! The Spratly's has more oil reserve that what Kuwait had produced so far! You have every right to them, but you chose to throw your family into a long fruitless dispute over ownership. Why is it like that, dear?"

"Those islands…they are dangerous. The world does not need more of those harmful chemicals. If they were meant to be used, they wouldn't have been underground. People need to change. More oil is not the solution; it's only ruining the world. And in the end, nations would suffer. We already experience the effects of climate change. I'd rather not worsen it. My profits would not be sufficient for the damage I've wrecked upon the world afterwards. So I'm doing all I can to make sure this dispute is never resolved."

Dmitri Leonov clapped his hands in a mocking way at her, "That's mighty heroic of you, Miss Philippines, but hardly convincing. Isn't it because, out of all of them, you are the weakest one?"

"Maybe, but I don't see a problem with that. We are past the age of imperialism now, Mr. Dmitri. Being weak is no longer a disadvantage in the long run."

He took another sip of the wine and sat back down on his seat in front of her and watched his wine slosh against the glass. "You'd be surprised, Miss Philippines. Being a weak country these days meant that you'd have no choice but to adhere to the greater powers. Are you happy being a pushover since you can't assert yourself either way? In truth, not a single country values an alliance with you. You are useless, weak, a burden. A failure. A country who doesn't have the power to support itself in anything. You have been left behind and betrayed loads of times it's a wonder you haven't cracked yet." he stopped, glanced at her and smirked, "Or have you?"

The girl was trembling, tears streaming down her face, a look of hurt and confusion on her face, her hands fisted on her lap, after a minute, she seemed to have regained herself and rubbed at her eyes with the back of her arm, "No, you're wrong. I'm an independent nation. I may be weak but I was able to survive after all these years on my own. No one ever left me behind. I have never held remorse for those who betrayed me. I'm not useless, and I try so hard not to be a burden. And you have absolutely NO RIGHT TO CALL ME A FAILURE!" she launched herself at him, completely forgetting about the aimed guns at her until the deafening sound of gunshots and something lodging itself painfully in the back of her legs brought her back to her senses.

She gasped in pain as she fell onto the floor face first, the carpet barely cushioning her fall. She felt the blood ooze out of the wound and the pain was wracking her entire body, making her tremble. She cursed her luck, she cursed everything. Why does this have to happen to her? She just wanted to get home so badly right now. And yet, here she was, lying face down on the floor of some plane heading god knows where, being drained of her life blood from her legs. _Shit…why can't she save herself when nobody was around? Why does she need anybody? Why is she expecting someone to burst through the door and take her somewhere safe? Why is it, that through the haze in her vision, she could see America picking her up into his arms and telling her that she's safe now? Why was it him? Had she always wished it to be him? Alfred, why aren't you here?_

She fought to keep herself from losing consciousness. She tilted her head slightly and watched as Dmitri launched himself into a heated conversation with someone on his phone. She tried hard to listen and stay awake.

"-and you're expecting me to invest my money on her? She's fucking weak! I'll lose! No! I don't care if America wants her! I'm risking billions of Euro here for some measly bitch! There's gotta be someone else cut for the job! None? Wait, Mr.--," the line was cut. Dmitri swore and threw the phone way across the room. "That fucking psychotic bastard!"

He saw her staring up at him and he glared at her for the first time that night. He stood up and kicked her in the stomach. "Stupid bitch, look what you've gotten me into. I'll make you pay dearly for this. I won't let you fail." He motioned for the two armed men in the room still standing behind her chair. "What the fuck are you standing there for? Take her to her room, and make sure she does not die from that!" he pointed towards her bloody legs. It was staining his white carpet. "And change the carpet when we land, I don't want to see blood."

The men scrambled to get her, hoisting her up by slinging her arms onto their shoulders, not really caring when she yelped in pain at the way they held her. She returned Leonov's glare with a glare of her own, "I'm not helping you, get that through that senile head of yours!" she spat at him, the pain in her legs almost made her stutter but she managed to make herself sound like she could still put up a fight.

She bit her lips in anger as the older man laughed at her then grinned cruelly at her, "I will break you."

And she was taken away.

* * *

England waded through the airport crowd, making a beeline for the benches. He was an hour early for his flight, just the way he wanted it. And he liked traveling at night. The airport wasn't any less crowded but nevertheless, the atmosphere was a bit more peaceful than during day hours. He sat on one of the airport benches and took out a paperback book to entertain himself with some good ol' dose of Sherlock Holmes.

He was so focused on reading until he was disturbed by someone's pleading cries emanating from his right. He noticed that he was too near to the 'Customer Service' counter where some foreigner was inquiring for some missing person and begging the airport authorities to go searching for the missing person. England scooted away from the counter, seeing as it is none of his business and concluding that whoever got missing, apparently since this morning, must be really stupid.

"But please, you've got to find her! She's not a normal human, she's my country! And it was one of your personnel who took her away, they haven't come back yet since this morning! She might be in danger!" the man said.

The manager of the service counter was trying his hardest to placate him by assuring him that the search was commencing right about then. "We're sorry, but you'll have to wait. Now what were you saying about that airport personnel with her when she went missing?"

The man told him the story about his country being held up in customs by the guard and being called away to some office he did not really specify. The guard did not come back at all. And neither had the country. And it has been twelve hours already, she can't possibly be held with legal means for no offense at all by security. "Miss Clara told us to wait so I'm pretty sure she really wanted to go home, I doubt she'd step out of this airport in anything but on her flight home. And for Christ's sake, this is the fifth time I've reported this to your personnel already, why aren't you still aware of it?!?"

The first thought that crossed England's mind as he processed the information he had not managed to completely block out was, _Yup, she's really stupid._ He then contemplated on whether to help find Clara or not but then remembered that unfortunate incident way back in the days of World War 2. He shrugged his shoulders at the thought, pushed his book back into his bag and walked over to the counter. He flashed them his special nation's identification card and relished a bit at the sudden look of confusion from the manager and Filipino.

"What could I help you with, Sir Kirkland?" the manager asked.

"I overheard about your conversation over there, from what I gathered, Miss Philippines had been missing for the past twelve hours now, correct?" Arthur said, reaffirming what he had heard earlier. The other two men nodded.

"We're looking into her whereabouts as of right now, Sir Kirkland. Reports should be arriving soon since this airport is fairly easy to scan through with the right equipment at the security department." The manager assured and right about then, a uniformed guard approached the three, a wary look etched on his face.

The guard looked at the two other men in greeting then whispered something to the manager something that seemed to be rather bad, seeing the manager rub his sweaty palms together and sighing.

"I'm sorry but there is quite a bit of a problem, if you'd like to follow me to my office, we could discuss the matter at hand in there." The manager said as he led Arthur and the Filipino to his office.

They were seated in front of a large television screen and after the guard inserted some sort of compact disk on the player, the video revealed Clara walking down a white hallway, looking anxious, following a uniformed guard and not noticing three suspicious persons starting to follow them.

England tried his hardest to mask the worry as he watched Clara get hit behind the head and fall to the ground, then getting a black blanket wrapped around her before being carried off somewhere. After the video, England glared at the guard, "How the hell did this happen? Why the fuck didn't you save her, you damn Americans?" he hissed.

The guard profusely apologized saying that the particular hallway they were walking on were not on the top priority for security since it was a fire exit for employees only and that they were already investigating the scene as they speak.

"Well, you better find her fast, or else you'll have to answer to the whole continent of Asia, you incompetent morons." he threatened, not finding the need to remind them of the fact that they'll also have to answer to him…and some goddamn American nation if he so ever please.

The guard gulped and saluted the island nation, "We're on it, sir!"

"Bring her back here safe," _not that _I_ want her here_. He walked out of the room after telling the Filipino to go back home and England would inform Clara's boss about what happened. _That stupid girl, after all these years, never failed to get into trouble. What if it were those terrorists who'd been bothering her for some time now? Damn, it's not like it's my job to take care of her! _He picked up his phone and punched America's number as fast as his irritation could make him. There were ten rings before a whiny voice on the other line picked up.

"_Damn it, England! I was reporting to my boss! Dude, you seriously called at a bad time, if you just want me to go drinking with you, forget it! I'm-,"_

England considered cutting off the call but decided that Alfred should know what he's going to say, "Clara's been kidnapped this morning."

"_-not going to-what? Clara's been what?!?"_ but England knew America had understood him the first time. _So some things do never fade…_

"Kidnapped. At your airport around quarter to eight this morning."

"_Are you serious? Do you know who did it? I'd completely wipe out those damned Abu Sayyaf right now if they're behind this."_

"Not yet but your police are looking into it. And Alfred-," if it weren't for the graveness of the circumstances, England would be beside himself laughing right now. The was an impatient, _"Whaaat?!?" _from the other end of the line before he continued speaking, "She was bludgeoned to the head…badly." The line went dead before he could even say 'head'.

He can't help the smirk on his lips, there's nothing more efficient than adding coals to a fire.

Three months later, a Philippine Navy flagship attacked Malaysian and Vietnamese patrol ships near the Spratly's islands. One week after the attack, Malaysia declared a state of war with the Republic of the Philippines, the rest of the South-East Asian nations were to follow.

* * *

**August 25, 1896 – December 26, 1896**

Clara watched with bated breath as the men in the field raised their fists into the air and shouted, "MABUHAY ANG PILIPINAS!!!" followed by tearing their cedulas to pieces. "MABUHAY ANG KATIPUNAN!" it was final. That which she had dreaded had indeed come to pass. She remembered Diego and Gabriela Silang, Lapu-Lapu, the three priests at Bagumbayan, the numerous Filipinos who rose up in revolt spanning three centuries…and the one thing that was common to them all…they died…because of her and so will some of these men. No matter how optimistic she tried to be, the fact that there was no deathless war scared her. She found it hard to breathe again.

She did not realize that she was staring off into space until she felt some dull pain on her forehead until she noticed a person's hand in front of her face poised to flick her again. She looked up to the grinning face of Jacinto. She scowled. He's pawning over her much more than usual ever since they arrived in Balintawak where Bonifacio then called on to all bona fide Katipuneros to gather. Technically, Bonifacio would be her boss now, because earlier, Andres had re-organized the secret society Katipunan into an open _de facto_ revolutionary government with him as the President and commander-in-chief of the rebel army and with his Supreme Council in the Katipunan as his cabinet members.

She turned away from him, shifting in the fallen log she was sitting in, turning away from the field and into the flowing river behind her. She heard Jacinto chuckle then sit beside her on the log, watching the river flow like what she was doing.

"Mahal ko, don't be so mad at me. I'm going to do anything to you, honest!" he laughed again, putting his hand over his heart as a sign of sincerity.

Clara turned her head to glare at him, "I know what you're doing, and I can't say I don't appreciate it, but I already told you since day one, I am fine. Don't worry about me, worry about yourself."

It was because Jacinto always laughs that Clara thought that he's playing around with her. It's not like she disliked it, she just found it disconcerting that the men she worried to death about was just laughing at her. And it's not like she's discouraging them for being too happy, she just wanted to make sure that they really understand what they're trying to get into. Because she was sure as hell none of these men would be the ones who would end up in tears when something bad happens.

Jacinto sighed and looked up into the moonless sky, Clara followed suit. "It's okay to say you're scared, we're not forcing you to be strong for us. Despite the fact that you're my country and it would be disconcerting to see you looking so afraid, you're a woman, you can't hide your emotions. I've been trying to get you to show me what you feel, ever since we left Rizal on that ship. Why are you trying so hard to hide, Clara?"

Clara brought her gaze to the ground, pulled her knees to her chest and folded her arms over her knees, allowing her head to rest on it. It took a few more minutes before Clara decided to talk to him, "Three hundred years ago, I let my feelings get the better of me and lost everything I should have held so dearly. These feelings let me love my father amidst all the crimes against my people and on my own land. These feelings made me betray my own kind. These feelings would get in the way. I refuse to be broken again. Even if it meant that I must lock these feelings away forever. As long as I could accomplish my goal…I'll do anything."

There was a moment of silence again before Jacinto turned his gaze back to the river, "You're wrong." then he started laughing again, Clara hit him in the arm, he stopped, "Sorry, I just find it funny that you always arrive at the unnecessary solutions to your problems. Sometimes I just want to figure out your line of thought seeing that your logic seems to come from a whole different dimension altogether." She hit him again, this time, not too gently. "Alright, I'll be serious. Geez…you should laugh more often, or you'll get old too quickly."

"…I've been fifteen for the last hundred years, idiot."

"Right, right…so you see, as I was saying, Women without emotions are no good, I certainly don't want to see you in my last moments looking like you couldn't care less about me, I want you to sob on my chest as you declare your undying love for your beloved Jacinto, who's always been there for you…and will-gah!" in the middle of his fantasies, Jacinto was suddenly thrown forward, landing into the cold river, completely soaking himself when he started spluttering.

"Am I to consider that your last wish, my friend?" Bonifacio said as he put down his foot with which he kicked Jacinto into the water with.

"Nah..he just got way off topic again…are we going back to the house now?" Clara asked, the seriousness of the conversation had long since ebbed away, to be replaced with light-hearted bickering and Jacinto's dying fantasies. She hopped down from the log and watched as Andres reluctantly bent over the river bank to pull Jacinto out of the water lest he got sick.

Once Jacinto had a grasp of Bonifacio's hand, Clara charged forward and pushed Andres with all her might into the water, about to start laughing at them when she slipped on some rocks when she stepped back and landed the most painfully into the river. She resurfaced to find the other two staring at her wide-eyed before bursting out laughing.

"Damn, that was so stupid!" Jacinto said between laughs as he swam up to her and gave her a bone-crashing hug from behind.

"Ah-…wah…" she flushed in embarrassment and tried to get him to loosen his grip, eventually giving Bonifacio a pleading look when she realized that the first time Bonifacio laughed in front of her, it was _at_ her. She was suddenly afraid moments like this would end sooner or later. He had always been so serious because it was expected of him when the lives of thousands depended on him.

"Masakit ba masyado?" Andres said when he calmed down a little. Despite his laughter, Clara knew which hurt he's referring to.

Tears welled up in the corners of her eyes, "Of course it hurts so much!" and she cried.

It hurts that Rizal refused to come with them when they tried to save him. It hurts because her people were risking their lives again. It hurts because despite the fact that she didn't want bloodshed, her heart screamed for revolution. It hurts because she missed Antonio so much despite everything. She cried out all the pent-up fear, frustration, anxiety and grief slowly killing her inside.

She did not notice Jacinto loosen his hold on her and just settling on letting her cry on his chest. Well…all he needed now was a mortal wound and a confession and he's ready to go.

* * *

On August 29, Bonifacio, Jacinto and 800 Katipuneros attacked the Spanish garrison in San Juan Del Monte. The attack sparked a general state of rebellion in the area. However, due to Spanish reinforcements proving to be too great they were forced to retreat to Marikina, San Mateo and Montalban which they then attacked. They captured these areas but were driven back again by Spanish counterattacks that Bonifacio eventually ordered a retreat to Balara.

On the way, Bonifacio was nearly killed shielding Emilio Jacinto from a Spanish bullet which grazed his collar. Clara mainly functioned as a medic for wounded Katipuneros under the care of Melchora Aquino and some volunteer doctors and old women. She served them food, handed them clean clothes and helped the other women wash or mend their used ones, cleaned their wounds, took care of the children when their parents are busy with the revolution and made sure she did not do anything that would land her in the hands of the Spaniards, because the last thing she needed was to get caught and be held hostage. She'd be the first one to kill her if she really was that stupid.

Despite his reverses, Bonifacio was never completely defeated and was still considered as a threat. Thus, the revolt had spread to the surrounding provinces by the end of August. These were Manila, Bulacan, Cavite, Pampanga, Bataan, Laguna, Batangas, and Nueva Ecija all of which would later be represented as the eight rays of the sun in the Filipino flag.

But again, the mistake their ancestors had made was still repeated among the rebels. The Katipuneros in Cavite were the most successful of all, operating under Emilio Aguinaldo, the leader of the _Magdalo, _one of the factions of Katipunan in Cavite. The other is _Magdiwang_. Aguinaldo's supporters declared the existence of an insurgent government in October under their own laws and rules regardless of Bonifacio's Katipunan, which he had already turned into an insurgent government by as early as August. The Magdiwang, which was led by the uncle of Bonifacio's wife, contested that the Magdalo's government is against the one Bonifacio already had started. This led to friction growing between the two factions that they eventually refused to cooperate with each other and fought over jurisdiction and authority over rebel forces that Bonifacio had to go to Cavite to mediate between the two.

By that time, _Magdalo_ leaders already paid little heed to Bonifacio's authorities, only submitting themselves under the leadership of Aguinaldo. In turn, Bonifacio was partial to the _Magdiwang_ because of his kinship ties with its leader and their greater acceptance of his authority. It was no wonder that soon, Aguinaldo and Bonifacio were also at each other's necks. Aguinaldo blamed Bonifacio for the capture of the town of Silang and argued about his placement of troops. Bonifacio believed that Aguinaldo was willing to surrender the revolution when he learned that Aguinaldo was in correspondence with a Spanish friar, who was mediating between him and the Spanish government, about the possibility of peace negotiations. This was because the Spaniards think of Aguinaldo as the "chief of the rebellion" which angered Bonifacio even more and the fact that Aguinaldo continued to arrange negotiations with the enemies which never took place.

Clara almost sided with Aguinaldo once upon hearing about the prospects of peaceful negotiations with the Spaniards but was not able to express her opinion when she tried to adhere to Rizal's words. She needed to stay with Bonifacio. But she was also careful not to take sides, for now, everyone thinks she's just with Bonifacio because he's the true leader of the Katipunan, which is what really matters to her anyway. And she could never be caught admitting that she trusted Bonifacio and Jacinto more than she trusted Aguinaldo.

Clara was nevertheless greatly saddened by their fight. The rebels could not afford to be divided. Like their ancestors had fallen due to taking to their own selves and not cooperating, the Katipunan was slowly breaking in half. Dread welled up inside her as she watched them fight again over authority in the revolution. It was no longer just a dispute over authority, even their credibility was being put to question too. Bonifacio, hailing from the poor, bore the full brunt of the rumors. He was accused of stealing Katipunan funds, being an atheist, a Mason, and uneducated, that he did not deserve the title of _Supremo _because only God is supreme. Bonifacio believed the rumor-mongering to be the work of Daniel Tirona, a Magdalo leader and he confronted him once about it.

"Why? Isn't it true that you do not deserve the respect of your followers? You are uneducated, with no family background, a mere Manila employee. You have no right to accuse me of such trivial things though I doubt they are lies-," he cut off by Bonifacio drawing his gun and pointing it at him in anger.

Clara who had been behind Bonifacio immediately seized his hand which held the gun and Jacinto, who was also with them, stood in front of Tirona who had a look of abject shock on his face.

"Stop, Andres! You can't kill him! Stop, please!" Clara pleaded as she tried to wrestle the gun from Bonifacio's grasp. Andres was practically seething with anger.

Jacinto stared long and hard into his best friend, a hand ultimately lowering the gun despite Bonifacio still glaring at Tirona as if he never heard them. "Please, my friend, he's not worth tainting your hands with."

Bonifacio broke away from Clara's grasp, leaving the gun in Jacinto's hands.

Clara looked around the room, members of the Magdalo were standing up and eyeing Bonifacio's back while members of the Magdiwang followed him on his way out. The amount of tension in the air for the next few days was so thick that Clara can't stand to stay in the same room where the two factions met. For the lack of better things to do, Jacinto was always with her.

"Well…I see myself as your bodyguard, ain't that cool? And it's still dangerous for you to be out alone, who knows, Spaniards might gang up on you and take you somewhere really scary where they'll tell you that your dear Jacinto will not be coming for you~…"

Clara smacked him upside the head with her fist, "Well…ain't that tempting~…" she said in irritation, God, they do this every single day! Why can't Jacinto just keep his mouth shut!?!

"No! I'm your personal hero! I'll save you at the cost of my life! So please don't go believing stuff like that-why are you staring at me? Did I finally capture your heart? My, ain't that great! I must go arrange our wedding right away, I'm sure Andres would love to be my best man," he turned to find his friend when a hand gripped his collar and pulled him back.

"No! You're not telling him anything of the sort! And I'm not in love with you! I just thought you resemble somebody I know!" Clara yelled as she pulled on his collar and started laughing as memories flooded her, "He was such a dear friend."

Jacinto stopped struggling and turned around to look at her, his eyebrows knotted in confusion, "A "he"?" he looked like he was about to start dropping possible names, "Wait, who are we talking about here? Who is this "dear friend" of yours? Is he my rival?"

Clara pretended to be giving the question some thought before answering, "You're not even close~"

Jacinto decided to humor her by putting his hand over the gun strapped at his side, "And where can I find this "rival" of mine, which you claim I'm incomparable to?"

Clara giggled, "Sorry, but you'll have to cross an entire ocean to even see him. You're not close figuratively and literally! He's already won me over, poor Jacinto." where the gist of her teasing stops, she wasn't entirely sure.

"How come you know him if he's that far?!?"

"I once fled to Hongkong before, he saved me from this deranged couple who's out to kill me. I would have gotten more than just a few bruises if he didn't come to rescue me."

"Well, that's an acceptable way for a man to be worth your love…" he started walking away, Clara following him closely behind, "But I'd still end him for being late."

Clara giggled, "If being late is punishable by death, he would have already been killed a thousand times over, I bet."

Soon, they saw the headquarters of the Magdiwang, where Clara is currently staying in with Bonifacio and Jacinto. As they approached, they noticed Bonifacio, standing outside the house, unusually obviously brooding about something…in public. Jacinto called to him when they were close enough and Bonifacio's attention snapped towards them and he met them. He usually smiled when greeting Clara no matter how bad his mood was so Clara could tell something really upsetting for her happened. "Clara, we need to talk." He said, beckoning them to follow him to the secluded part of the backyard.

"Why so upset, Andres? What's wrong?" she asked after she was sure Bonifacio thinks the place was fine.

"Last time we checked, Rizal was on his way to Cuba to aide the Spanish forces in the war. It seems the Spanish government thinks he's much too dangerous to be on the loose any longer. They arrested him _en route_ to Cuba and had brought him back here today to stand trial." Bonifacio said.

Jacinto squeezed Clara's hand when he felt her tense up. Then he sadly watched as all the emotions in her face drained and was replaced by a wall of indifference again. It only meant one thing…she's crumbling inside again.

"Why would they need to do that? Rizal had clearly disavowed the revolution everytime his opinions were needed! What about _him_ is dangerous?"

"Clara, you were there when he wrote his two novels, surely you know by heart its contents by now. And so does every patriotic citizen of this country. The Spaniards believe Rizal to be the instigator of this revolution, because of what he had written, and it is true, Clara. My comrades and I believed in what he wrote. That you deserve to be free, that we are the help you are waiting for, that you need to break free from the bonds of slavery of Spain. Everything he had done is coming back to him, and the Spaniards would make sure he pays for it with his life."

Clara looked at Andres sternly, "Rizal never intended his works to be interpreted the way you did. Remember how Ibarra died either way?"

"Oh, don't tell me he died once because he 'loved' and twice because he 'trusted'. I would gladly die for the love of this country but I certainly don't 'trust' that traitor Aguinaldo enough to-," Andres stopped himself before he could blurt out any untoward things in case there were _Magdalo_ spying on them right now, which is not highly unlikely. "Clara, Rizal is being tried for treason, sedition, conspiracy and probably a thousand other crimes you believe he certainly did not commit, and believe me when I tell you, fairness is never present in Spanish courts. Rizal would be murdered sooner or later. And he would most likely accept his fate without qualms. I am telling you this because I am worried for you. Are you strong enough to continue without expecting him to be alive somewhere?"

Clara shut her mouth and tried her best to hide her feelings. _Yes, I could live without him._ She was convinced that she could continue even with Rizal gone. If Rizal were to be murdered for her sake…she remembered the promise she made to herself a long time ago, that she will strive to be worth the deaths that were caused by her. She had lived solely for that promise. She owed it to Gabriella and Diego to stop the Spaniards from mercilessly killing her brethren. She owed it to the three priests to stop improperly planned rebellions. And lastly, she owed it to Lapu-lapu, to all the people in the burned down kingdoms during the first years of Spanish colonization to take it upon herself to liberate her people just as she had subjected them to slavery. They are the reason why she never agreed with the ill-armed revolution. But what if the only thing she never believed in was the only remaining solution or worse, the only answer to her prayers?

"If Spain raises a gun against Rizal, I'm going to raise a gun against my _father_."

* * *

**Real facts:**

---Most of what I included were as they were in history. Magdalo and Magdiwang really did bicker a lot. Aguinaldo won all his fights while Bonifacio, although never utterly defeated, had not won an attack he personally led, so his prestige somehow suffered.

---Bonifacio did point a gun at Tirona, after the latter gave an airy reply to Bonifacio when Andres confronted him about his rumor-mongering among the Katipunan members. Andres was stopped from firing by people present there, not mentioned who they were so I just made them into Jacinto and Clara.

---After being arrested in transit to Cuba, Rizal had been sent back to Fort Santiago in Manila to stand trial for rebellion. He is tried and found guilty and sentenced to death.

---Dr. Jose Rizal is executed by firing squad. His death will make him both the national hero of the Philippines and fresh determination to the Katipunan.

**---WEEE!!! "PHILIPPINE" WAR OF INDEPENDENCE AHEAD!!! Have a taste of YANDERE!CLARA (I think) in the present day era though…and maybe a little during war times…because Filipinos…were also capable of committing war crimes, people! I actually lost track of how old Clara is. **

**---The last time I indicated her aging was after Arthur invaded her…I said she was fifteen, if I had already made her sixteen and YOU NOTICED, ****please tell me so I could correct it, I can't find that part(WTF).**

**Thanks for reading/commenting/reviewing!!! They really keep me going…it's just that I'm extremely slow…oh well, that's college!**


	9. Sorry, but we're rebelling: Part III

Philippines walked along the richly decorated hall, followed by a small entourage of her own lesser government officials who were tasked to accompany her, but not without receiving a few looks from the people bustling in and out of the hall. She smirked at them and pushed the huge oak doors of the conference hall open, making all heads turn to her as she walked to her usual seat whenever they met in Indonesia's house. She sat on her desk chair, smiled at everybody on the table and leaned back, swinging her chair to face towards Indonesia who had his usual blank expression.

She knew this meeting was long overdue. But because of her 'disappearance', which almost caused an international incident when America threatened to nuke every known terrorist base in the world in search for her but everyone managed to restrain him, for two months and sudden 'appearance', which also almost caused an international incident again when America sent over about a dozen fighter jets and navy ships to 'guard' her, a month ago, everything was rescheduled so she wouldn't have to miss out.

Philippines smiled, "Indonesia, my brother, I'm sorry I ran a bit late, I had some important things to do…please resume the meeting, I'd like to get out of here as fast as I can…" she said cheerily, looking around the room but not at the faces of the other people in the room. "So…what are we tackling today, hm?"

There was a pregnant pause before Malaysia stood from his chair and pointed an accusing finger at her, "You! What the hell were you thinking, attacking my ships like crazy?!? You killed about fifty of my men! What the hell, Clara?!?" he shouted angrily from across the room.

Philippines looked at him as if he'd said something unbelievable, "Attack? Attacked what?"

"My patrol ships! You blew them off to smithereens for no apparent reason at all!"

"Patrol ships? Oh, you mean those boats on Spratly's? I thought they were Somali pirates!

"Pirates? They were obviously flying my flag! Since when did you bring battleships to Spratly's?!"

"Well…am I not supposed to guard my territory especially an outlying one?"

There was a collective uproar from the other nations.

"Since when did Spratly's become your territory, Clara?" Vietnam asked with one raised brow.

"Since, like, forever, Vietnam." she said a-matter-of-factly.

"It's still a no man's land, Clara. You had no right to attack Malaysia's ships or mine for just passing by the area." Vietnam was trying so hard to stop herself from snapping at the younger woman's offensive tone.

"Yes, I do. And I already did, so what are you going to do about it?" Philippines taunted.

Vietnam narrowed her eyes at her eastern neighbor, "Don't wait for me to remind you of your place, Philippines. You wouldn't want me as an enemy."

Philippines rolled her eyes at her then turned back to Indonesia, "So…I was told we were discussing some complications on free trade in Laos' house~" she could hear some thrashing behind her followed by seats hitting the floor and some nations pleading for a certain Malaysian to calm down.

"How dare you ignore me, you bitch, we're not done yet! Want a fucking war?"

At that, every nation still seated on the table, except Philippines who suddenly found the rotating function of her chair somewhat entertaining, and started speaking all at the same time about the implications of war while Philippines, the alleged instigator, just played with her chair, ignoring them all.

"No, I won't let you! I'm totally forbidding that from happening!"

"You're both so close to my house, how can I be sure I won't be caught in the crossfire?"

"It's much too dangerous, there are already terrorists on her land and who knows how they'll take this war!"

"I would need to evacuate my migrant workers immediately!"

"Silence!" everyone stopped when Indonesia's voice thundered inside the room. Nations who were surprised enough to hear the usually soft-spoken nation sank back obediently to their chairs, older nations like Vietnam and Thailand just simply going back to their seats with a sigh. Malaysia, the last to remain standing, kept his glare at Philippines before picking up his chair from the floor and setting it right before sitting down.

When they had all quieted down, Philippines stopped rotating her chair, and turned their attention back to him, Indonesia simply gave up when Malaysia would not break his glare at Philippines, before he said in his normal calm voice, "These meetings are done to ensure that relations between our countries ran smoothly, and the settlement of differences and conflicts by peaceful manner. I, as the leader of this assembly, completely disavow any conflict between Malaysia and the Philippines. So may the nations involved please discuss the matter like educated mature people? I won't hear talks of war among my siblings."

"Well, that bitch totally asks for it." Malaysia sneered.

"I'm deeply sorry for your loss, Malaysia, but we're on an ASEAN meeting here, please take your emotional displays somewhere else." She blew him off coolly, ignoring the offended stares she got from her fellow countries. When did she talk like that?

Malaysia sighed then stared at her, "What the hell happened to you? You're not like this before you went missing…and why aren't you telling who kidnapped you and why they suddenly released you?"

"Nothing…they did nothing to me. I am always like this, Malaysia. I was just waiting for the right time to assert my self over you." She smiled innocently.

"Oh, really? You must be one hell of an actress, I surely did not see you coming and biting me in the ass!" he slammed his hands on the table. Brunei, who was sitting beside him, was trying so hard not to cry as she looked at the Philippines with worry etched on her features. This was not her best friend. Surely Philippines will never say these words to them.

"You should have expected that since the day you stole what is rightfully mine," there was glint of mischief in her eyes as she said it. Everyone on the table stared at her. They must not be hearing right. This cannot be the normal Philippines. Something had changed. No, everything about her changed. It was just like another person with Clara's appearance. Everyone wondered what happened to her when she went missing...Clara's refusal to talk about it and her sudden aggression towards Malaysia and Vietnam.

In a split second, Malaysia had crossed the room and was gripping Philippines' arm tightly as she struggled to get out of his hold. "I've had enough of this. Who are you? What have you done to my sister?"

Laos, who was sitting next to Philippines, tried to pry away Malaysia from the girl. "Dude, stop it, you're hurting her."

Indonesia was looking at Philippines. Her expression had turned more defiant and cruel. Brunei was now openly sobbing with Myanmar trying to console her. Vietnam was standing beside Thailand and watched the event unfold with indifference. The rest of the ASEAN nations stood on the side, silent as ever.

Philippines looked at all them crowding at her, treating her like some kind of unwanted being. She hated them. She hated them all the more with the worried looks on their faces. She wanted to tell Brunei to shut up. She wanted to see Vietnam begging her for mercy. She wanted to make Malaysia bleed…

She smiled, "I'm the Republic of the Philippines, no more, no less. Stop crowding me, it's suffocating." She gave a hard tug on his arm and his hold finally fell off on her.

Malaysia turned away from her, "Yeah, you do look like Philippines," he glared at her, "But you're definitely not her." With that, he left for the door. "I'm getting to the bottom of this, and if I find out that you've done something to my sister, I'm going to destroy you personally."

"Shut up, you only call me your sister when it's convenient, you jerk." Philippines retaliated with a huff.

With that, Brunei was no longer able to restrain herself and threw her arms over the disgruntled Philippines and cried, "Clara! Why are you doing this?!? What happened to you?"

From the view of the other countries in the room, Philippines looked like she just popped a vein. She closed her eyes, pushed the younger nation away from her and stood up. "Don't touch me." she said with such blatant disgust that Brunei was robbed of speech.

Laos frowned and helped Brunei stand up from where she landed on the floor. He stared sadly at Philippines' back as she walked out of the room, not sparing anymore explanation.

Once she was out of the room, Philippines flipped open her phone and dialed one of the numbers she had just familiarized herself with. She walked back to the main entrance of the building, saw Malaysia boarding his own service van, waved innocently at him then went in on her own vehicle to take her to the airport. She laughed at the hard look Malaysia threw at her when she waved at him.

"I'm done here. What's next again?" she spoke when the person on the other line picked up.

_Attack Malaysia, he's a big threat to your plans so eliminate him first. I'm working for Indonesia to side with you whatever happens, until then, just follow with what we've already discussed._

"I'll talk with Indonesia. We're starting tomorrow, right? How's my president?"

_Been dealt with. He's now entering into talks with us. For that, you're needed here on Friday._

"Alright. Say 'hello' to the big guy for me."

* * *

When Philippines entered the Malacañang Palace, the Chief of Staff greeted her and made her follow him to one of the meeting rooms, where the rest of the cabinet members, minus some and the President, were awaiting her. She sat on the head of the table where the President usually sat.

"Start talking." She commanded impatiently. Her head was throbbing again, what the hell were her people complaining about this time?

The chief of staff stood up and addressed the dignitaries, "Hours earlier, our President had entered talks with the People's Republic of China and Russia about the possibility of an alliance. We're in a tight spot, alliance with both nations would mean breaking our alliance with the United States of America, but rejecting it would mean going to war against both large nations, and we'll surely have dire consequences since they'll turn on us before on anyone else." He sat back down.

"Is it not possible to stay neutral?" a female dignitary asked.

The General of the Philippine Army spoke, "No, I'm afraid not. We are the gateway to Asia. Whoever establishes bases on our country could practically access the whole Asian continent from across the ocean. The Americans needed that and the Russians won't permit it."

"Why can't we ask for help from the US? We're allied with them for about a century now, I'm sure they'd assist-," the diplomat stopped talking when a plastic bottle whisked just past her head. Everyone turned towards Philippines who was standing on her seat, glaring hard at the dignitary.

"Don't you dare say that disgusting name." She said in a cold voice. Her eyes averted to the general at her left. "Have you received the new warships I bought?"

"Yes, the navy is now being trained to be accustomed to them. Also, the new aircrafts have been dispatched already. There has also been a considerable amount of new recruits entering the army by June." He answered promptly. He wondered where she got all those funds for completely overhauling the entire fleet in a short amount of time. From one of the weakest and ill-equipped armies in Asia, they had a considerable boost of power. Even he was curious as to how far they could go now.

"Good. Ivan and Uncle Yao promised to send more armaments once the treaty has been signed formally. We don't need to stock on nuclear weapons. Those are banned from Southeast Asia. I doubt our enemies would use that here."

"By enemies, you mean?"

"Malaysia, Vietnam and Thailand would probably end up in an alliance against me while Singapore, Brunei, Laos and Cambodia stays neutral, but we're taking Brunei anyway, HongKong and Macau are Uncle Yao's problem, and Myanmar, well, I don't care about her so I guess we'll put her in the neutral block. Indonesia…what's the status in the talks with his boss?"

"No good, he's not agreeing, but he's not rejecting it either. I think he's just waiting for the tide to wash over and see who's got a bigger chance of winning."

"Good. I want a written agreement with him by the end of this week."

"But that's impossible! That's two days from now! We haven't even considered all the possibilities-," the foreign affairs secretary was cut off by Philippines speaking suddenly and pointing a finger at him.

"If Indonesia turns on me, we're all dead, so before that happens, I want him on my side! And if you can't do that, I'll make sure I kill you first before I die."

In their minds, every other person in the room was thing: _What happened with this kid? She's usually so polite and gentle. Makes me really wonder what happened to her when she went missing for two months. She suddenly hated the US whereas she had always looked at him like some sort of hero._

Actually, the whole nation had been erratic when she suddenly went missing. The first to react was the USA. Her face was all over every page of magazines, newspapers, journals and on every channel on television. They were almost sure every person in the world was aware that Clara was missing. But she did not turn up, nor did any news or lead about her whereabouts. But the fact that there was no trace left of her led to a more intense search on Alfred's part and more desperate measures. After two months, there was still no Clara. In short, the whole continent of Asia was in an uproar. Brunei would break into sobs when her best friend was mentioned, Indonesia and Malaysia were on edge, Japan and America were using their best tracking equipments to find her, even England helped. But Clara's presence was wiped off the face of the earth.

Then, by some sort of miracle, she suddenly turned up! She was found by some fishermen passed out on a shore in Palawan. Her clothes were tattered rags, her wrists and ankles had rings around them that looked like she was bound harshly with them. She had thinned so much that her cheeks sagged. And when she woke up in a hospital two days later, her normally cheery eyes were staring blankly at the occupants of the room as if she was hollowed inside. She did not speak afterwards so they can't get much information out of her.

But much to the shock of everyone, when Alfred visited her in her hospital room, she suddenly started lashing at him and yelling at him to 'get away from her'. It took the combined efforts of England, Malaysia and Indonesia to get Alfred out of the room. Alfred had wanted to stay by her side. Something bad happened to her, he was sure, because she'll never want to avoid him like that, after all, he's her—

"If you think about what happened to me again, I'll get you fired from your jobs," she said with one brow quirked up and her arms folded in front of her, all the people in the room jumped back to attention, "Very good."

_Now…to put some goddamn terrorists to good use. _She stretched her back and let out a yawn. _I'm tired. But I do hope this is what you want, Clara._

_

* * *

_

It was a clear Thursday mid-morning and everything was going just fine with Malaysia's day. After that ASEAN meeting that quickly went downhill when he lost his temper early on, he had returned promptly to his country to report to his boss. Well, he was supposed to have a calm, serious talk with Clara but seeing her look so nonchalantly about her mistake sent his blood pressure up. She had killed fifty of his soldiers, some of the corpses not yet found, lost him one of his good ships and he was so sure his soldiers did not fail to salute the Philippine navy when they had passed by near their territory. So why does she have to have them killed was beyond him. Sure, he had refused Clara the chance to take their dispute over the islands to the courts, but he had a feeling she was taking his refusals positively when she looked like she's about to give him a pat in the back whenever he refuses.

He remembered those two tension-filled months when she went missing. Brunei came to his house almost every day to whine about her best friend, he was busy with convincing America that bombing Basilan and Sulu is not such a good idea, his other friends in the ASEAN were also on edge about her disappearance. God, she had the entire world worried! He was angry at her for not saying a word…and she did not even apologize for the trouble she caused. She never thanked anyone, like she always does when she thinks she bothered anyone in the slightest. The look in her eyes when she woke up and they all crowded in her hospital room. It was as if she could not even see them.

And then Alfred made his entrance and everything went straight to hell.

"Sir?"

Malaysia snapped out of his thoughts and brought his attention back to the task at hand. He was standing on the harbor of his largest naval and aerial base, talking with two engineering officers, directing them with necessary preparations and listening to their reports on which of his ships needs repair when suddenly, there came a booming sound from one of the megaphones on the lamp post near them with some shocking news.

"ALL SOLDIERS REPORT TO BATTLE STATIONS. I REPEAT, ALL SOLDIERS REPORT TO BATTLE STATIONS. LEVEL ONE ALERT. ENEMY PLANES COMING AT ONE O'CLOCK DIRECTION--," then there was only static as the sounds of a large blast and emergency sirens reverberated in the distance, Malaysia could see smoke coming up from the control towers.

"What the hell?" he narrowed his eyes as he watched the soldiers scramble to their positions.

Malaysia was pushed out of the way by one of his officers when one of his own fighter aircrafts crashed down from the sky just meters away from where he was standing and bulldozed over one of the plane hangars before exploding and engulfing everything in flames.

"What the fuck?!?" he shouted, looking up at the sky when it suddenly darkened and hundreds of fighter planes zoomed past above him. He ducked when a missile dropped down on a plane near him. His eyes widened when he got a good look at them. There was a Philippine flag painted on them. "Shit!" he stood up immediately and ran towards the other control rooms. Soldiers were running all around him, some were hurrying to salvage the remaining planes where the enemies haven't dropped bombs in yet. The Philippine air force was effectively annihilating his entire fleet. His men could barely get some defense up.

As much as he tried to get to his destination, he was delayed by saving some of his injured men on the way, putting out small fires, barking up commands here and there, getting out of the runways as much as possible, dodging missiles, dodging crashing planes, and getting his nerves to calm down as he tried his best to get himself out of the harbor that slowly turns into a blazing inferno.

"Dammit, Clara! What the hell are you thinking?!?" he screamed when one of the enemy planes flew dangerously low and close above him. He knelt on the ground and watched helplessly as the pride of his army went down in flames. He bent his head in grief.

"Oh, I was thinking about you, Malaysia."

Malaysia abruptly turned to the source of that voice and gritted his teeth in anger. Philippines was standing a few feet before him in her sky blue war uniform, pointing a gun at him. She was smiling innocently at him again. He never thought he'd hate her smiles ever. It used to be so contagious that people can't help but smile too when she's smiling. Must be why she was hailed as the happiest nation in Asia. But her smile now…he wondered if it meant she was happy.

"I was thinking about you, my dear brother." She repeated cheerily. Then, as if a black curtain fell on her features, the smile dropped and there was only an unforgiving look in her eyes, she spoke in a hard voice, "About taking everything from you."

The sound of the gun shot seemed to echo in his mind forever. _Ah, I'm sure that's not my sister anymore._

_

* * *

_

**December 30, 1896 - May 8, 1897**

_Farewell, beloved Country, treasured region of the sun,_  
_Pearl of the sea of the Orient, our lost Eden!_  
_To you eagerly I surrender this sad and gloomy life;_  
_And were it brighter, fresher, more florid,_  
_Even then I'd give it to you, for your sake alone._

Clara stood on top of the little hill, overlooking the battle below. Dawn was just breaking and yet, here they were, already engaged in battle. She grimaced as a sharp pain throbbed on her abdomen as if someone just kicked her hard in the stomach. She wiped the trail of blood from her mouth with the back of her hand and continued to watch the battle as she prayed loudly in her mind for victory. She already forgot how long had it been since she had actively joined the revolution, but she could remember how long it had been since Rizal died. It has been forty days so maybe three days after that before she joined her first battle.

The Filipinos had long abandoned the trenches they hid in and stormed over to the side of the losing Spaniards, seizing their weapons and taking no prisoners. There were no prisons to detain them with and certainly no bargaining would be allowed as far as she knew. An eye for an eye though defeating them would never be enough compensation for that precious life they had taken from her. But nevertheless, she'd make them pay, in full blood.

Her eyes darted from battlefield into the outskirts where she could see about a hundred Spaniards about to join the fray. She looked down at the battle below and counted about half of the original number of troops she had sent there still standing. The Spaniards were down to fifty, totally outnumbered compared to her one hundred. But if those other hundred Spaniards reaches them…

She raised her fist and said, "Hold your fire."

Sweat trickled down her forehead as she waited for the incoming surge of Spaniards to gain enough ground. But not too close for the surprise she had set for them. _Steady…steady…steady…_

"Fire!"

The incoming Spaniards looked up to see hundreds of bamboo spears raining from the sky. And then came the gunshots. And damn…where did they get the cannons?

The general issued a retreat. Well, they could afford to lose this town. It's just on the outskirts of Cavite, not even close to Manila or any government office that really matters.

"Damn it, Clara! You almost scared the shit out of me!" Jacinto shouted as he ran towards Clara, riffle in hand after making sure there isn't another surge of enemies nearby.

"Sorry about that…" she said as she handed him a clean cloth from her sack to wipe the dirt from his sweaty face.

He grinned at her as he reached for the offered cloth, "A warning would be nice, mahal ko." he tugged her hand and pulled her towards his tired body, giving her a quick hug and a kiss on her forehead before instinctively holding her at arm's length when she started swinging her hands at him.

"I told you not to call me that! People will misunderstand!" she yelled as she tried to claw at him in irritation but can't suppress the blush in her cheeks a she did so.

"No we wouldn't!" said a random Katipunero who was standing nearby.

"Don't worry, we're fine with it!" came another one.

"I'd happily have Jacinto as a son-in-law any day."

"What's not there to like about him?"

Jacinto nodded in self-satisfaction, Clara paled. She had half a mind to accuse Jacinto of paying-off the Katipuneros to be on his side.

"My carabao's smarter than that shitty-faced lawyer!" a shout came from behind her.

"Oi!" Jacinto reprimanded the Katipunero, pointing a finger at him, "I saw your carabao and I could say I'm more handsome than that!"

Clara sighed. She walked away from them to where the horses were tied and climbed on the one designated as hers. "Let's get back to camp, you morons."

_In fields of battle, deliriously fighting,_  
_Others give you their lives, without doubt, without regret;_  
_The place matters not: where there's cypress, laurel or lily,_  
_On a plank or open field, in combat or cruel martyrdom,_  
_It's all the same if the home or country asks._

There was an exchange of angry shouts before his brother then stormed out of the house and mounted on a fast horse and was quickly out of sight before Pepe could ask more details. Padre Burgos, his most favorite teacher, would no longer be able to teach him anymore because of the Spaniards? Pepe knew about the Spaniards. Who they are, what they were doing, and practically suffered first hand the way the treated his fellow countrymen. They had made his mother walk ten miles in the blazing heat of the sun just to suffer injustice at the end of her suffering. He hadn't seen her for a year now and his father was too busy arranging for her release that management of the household and his younger brothers and sisters were being cared for by his older siblings.

His mother…his teacher…his brother…

Tears started to well behind his eyes but he willed them to hold back. He can't cry in front of his family when he promised his mother before they took her away that he'll be strong for her. But in the end, he'll just be a kid whose innocence was being robbed from him slowly by the Spaniards.

In exasperation, he fled the house.

He walked and walked, not minding where he was heading, but also making sure he'll be able to find his way back home. At last, he could see the big river. Surely no one could see him here.

But someone had beaten him to the place. He hid behind a tree as he observed for any movement. What if she's dead? From where he was, he can't clearly tell if she was still breathing or not. Slowly, he crept towards her lying place and examined her closely.

He may be a kid, but he does know how to appreciate beauty. There was no doubt in his heart that she must be the most beautiful woman he had ever seen yet in his short life, even more beautiful than the most well-dressed and cleaner Filipinas that he meets in the town. She looked so tired, there were bruises on her arms too. Her clothes were all sticky on her, she must have come from the water, he concluded. Maybe she was thrown into the river last night. It was a terrible storm after all.

He poked her cheeks, she opened her eyes, and his life changed completely.

_I die when I see the sky has unfurled its colors_  
_And at last after a cloak of darkness announces the day;_  
_If you need scarlet to tint your dawn,_  
_Shed my blood, pour it as the moment comes,_  
_And may it be gilded by a reflection of the heaven's newly-born light._

Clara could see the rising of the sun as she rode upon her horse. She stared for a moment, closed her eyes and muttered a small prayer. It was at times like these that Spaniards often hold their executions. And some months ago, it was also at a time like this that the Spaniards had killed another precious one to her. She took a deep breath, savoring the crisp morning air. She opened her eyes and saw Jacinto riding in his horse beside hers, keeping up with her.

"It's been months now, hasn't it?" he said, staring off into the horizon, Clara wasn't sure if he was really asking her a question or wondering to himself.

But she found herself answering, "Yes, it's been months," _two months and twenty-two days to be exact but who's counting?_ She almost laughed at the irony of that.

"Today there's another convention in Tejeros and it's an election, still up for it? We could go on a date-," he was stopped by Clara's hand smothering him, but he never stopped mumbling despite the hand on his mouth.

Clara sighed in defeat, "This is a very important day, and I'm too tired to go somewhere else right now. I can't vote but I want to make sure everything goes smoothly…you know how they are, I have to be impartial."

Jacinto gently pried her hand off his face and just held it between them, "Yes, after all, the winner will be your boss. I want Andres to win so I could stay with you all throughout this whole ordeal. I just can't seem to trust your care to anyone else aside from Andres."

Clara slowly pulled her hand away from his hold, "The results of today's election are to be respected by the whole congregation,"

Anything to take her mind off of someone's death.

_My dreams, when scarcely an adolescent,_  
_My dreams, when a young man already full of life,_  
_Were to see you one day, jewel of the sea of the Orient,_  
_Dry those eyes of black, that forehead high,_  
_Without frown, without wrinkles, without stains of shame._

He did not even have to scan the crowd to see if she's watching him from among the gathered people. He knew she'd never show up with too many Spaniards present. She's probably alone somewhere far from the prying eyes of even her closest friends. He hoped she's not crying. Tears never suited her. It was like the world was such a dreary place every time she cries. He had known that since he was a child, barely an adolescent, when he first saw her cry. She had cried for Padre Burgos then. Just like what he wanted to do when he went to that secluded place but found her instead.

After that encounter, he had found himself thinking about the girl he had met in the riverbank as he went from childhood to adolescence. If he would sum up all that he felt and all of his thoughts, according to what he had learned so far, she could have very well been his first love. There was something about her that had immediately drawn all his senses to her.

After that meeting, his life completely turned around. In every choice that he made, he remembered her words, until her words slowly blended into his life that he no longer had to remember them. It was, in a way, embedded into his heart and actions.

Then came the time that he had no other choice but to leave the country.

He had kept it secret from his parents, only his brother and uncle had known of his departure then, that he'd be continuing his medical study abroad, in Spain.

In the summer of his first year, they met again.

_My lifelong dream, my deep burning desire,_  
_This soul that will soon depart cries out: Salud!_  
_To your health! Oh how beautiful to fall to give you flight,_  
_To die to give you life, to die under your sky,_  
_And in your enchanted land eternally sleep._

Clara remembered what it felt like when she knew Rizal was dead. On the day of his execution, she had sneaked out of the house before dawn and hid herself in the forest where she could be alone until she found a large clearing. By then, the sun had already come up. It came as a sudden jolt of pain in her heart and she had stumbled down on the grass. Tears of lamentation spilled from her eyes as she clenched her hands in front of her heart, as if trying her best to cradle it. It had hurt. Her heart had hurt as if it was being torn out of her chest.

He'd gone. He had departed from her forever.

She was aware she had yelled, but what had she yelled about? Anguish and grief had overwhelmed her memory at that part.

She had cried so much that day, forgetting the fact that she had promised Rizal not to cry anymore. But she just loved him too much, how could she help it? That pain in her heart, knowing it was because the whole country was mourning the loss, his death, was too much for her to hide with indifference. She felt like she'd explode if she did not cry these feelings out now.

"How would I know what to do if you're not here anymore…idiot…you're an idiot! I did not tell you to study hard just to get yourself killed! You have no permission to die! What part of all these shit would make me happy?!? I'm still not free! And my people are still dying! How could I be happy with what you have left me?!? If I had known you were just going to hurt me this much, I'd rather I had not met you!" was what came out of her mouth afterwards, where did she get all of that?

She had stopped then. She remembered her lips curving into a smile and her expression looking like she was insane as she continued, "Yes…that's right! If I hadn't met you back then, you would not die today! Hahahaha! If I hadn't ran away from home, I wouldn't have to be here today, I could be with my Padre! Hahahaha! If I hadn't met Arthur, I would still be happy with my Padre! If I hadn't gone with Spain, I wouldn't have to be burdened with all of this! This nightmare wouldn't happen if I never got out of that pit! Hahahahahaha! Now I get it!!! It was all so simple!" then her laughter suddenly died and her face cracked until tears slowly went down her cheeks again. She had hugged her legs closer to her and sobbed on her knees.

"T-that just means t-these are all m-my f-fault…I'm sorry…I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…"

_If upon my grave one day you see appear,_  
_Amidst the dense grass, a simple humble flower,_  
_Place it near your lips and my soul you'll kiss,_  
_And on my brow may I feel, under the cold tomb,_  
_The gentle blow of your tenderness, the warmth of your breath._

She had stayed with him whenever she had the chance. She accompanied him in his journeys to Japan, Germany and many other countries. But there was this one time when he almost regretted tagging her along. It was when he went to America. And he met, much to his chagrin, the United States of America himself, _the_ Alfred F. Jones. He didn't have to look in too deep to see that the sandy blond man was quite enamored with his nation but Clara seemed oblivious to his advances and always commented on how 'charming' and 'adorable' the man was. Indeed. And then the 'charming' man took off with her for a few days to show her around his country. Rizal felt like he was robbed.

When they came back, he made some excuses to go back to London with her, immediately.

But when they arrived in London, he then met Great Britain, _the _Arthur Kirkland. By the look on the blond-man-with-bushy-eyebrows' face, he looked irritated at seeing her at the least. Rizal let out a relaxed sigh. "Are you friends?" he had asked in good spirits.

"More like a bad itch." Clara and Arthur answered in unison then proceeded to argue like little kids.

A vein almost popped in his head when the 'bad itch' took off with Clara for a few days to show her around his country. What's up with blonds and their tourist services? Rizal felt like he was robbed again.

And once they were in France, Rizal had confirmed Alfred's real intentions with his nation when he came home one day and Clara excitedly showed him a diamond ring in a blue velvet box.

"Who's it from?" he put down his coat on the kitchen counter and tried his best to keep his calm.

"Alfred, you'd remember him, he's America. I was with him just a few hours ago. He's in Paris on business."

"What did you answer him?" he asked, why won't his hand stop trembling? What is he so nervous for? Was he afraid she said yes?

Her eyebrows knotted in confusion, "What answer? If you mean about proper manners, of course I remembered to say 'thank you very much'."

He didn't know if he'd have to thank God that they were both such naïve idiots in love. "Yes, that's it. If you'd excuse me, I'd like to rest myself now."

An arm on his sleeve stopped him from taking a step further. He turned around and immediately felt bad when he saw Clara looking like she's apologetic, "Did I do something wrong, Pepe?" she turned away from his gaze, "Do you not like Alfred?"

He can't believe he's allowing himself to be jealous. What's wrong with Alfred? He's a good man. But Rizal's a good man too, why can't it just be him? Oh no, she looked like she's about to cry, and Rizal can't take it anymore, so before he could stop himself, he had blurted out his thoughts, "If there is anyone who'd hinder you from independence, the next one to colonize you, it will be America. I just didn't want you to be too attached to him. He'd just end up hurting you."

There was a pregnant pause then an indignant, "No, he won't do that." From her tone, it's as if she truly believed in America.

There had been no battle, but why does he feel like he had lost? He started trudging up the stairs, "I'm sorry. Please excuse me, I'm going to bed." She believed in America more than she believed in him. Damn, that hurt.

Three hours later, Clara was knocking on his bedroom door. When he chose not to answer, he heard her pacing outside his door before stopping and saying, "I'm sorry if you didn't like my answer, but Alfred is my friend and I trust him just like I trust you. But if it really worries you, I'd try to take what you said as a warning..."

_That's not it! _He wanted to tell Clara that it wasn't any fault of hers that he's beating himself up for it. But he can't muster the courage to face her now. He can't believe he almost lost his cool while she was anticipating his answer. How could he be so selfish? He never owned her, Clara probably still sees him as the child who promised her one day. That's why he tried seeing other women, denying up to the last minute the feelings that resurface every time she's with him. No matter how much he tried to keep away from her, he just found himself being drawn closer and closer to the point of no return.

If anything, he should have shown some pity towards that Alfred because he doesn't know how to propose properly, much less confess, and for Clara, because he had not taught her enough, it seems. She can't go around accepting rings from people without knowing their meaning. Maybe he should tell her now? Then she'll have to consider that Alfred's proposition. What if she said yes?

He tried weighing the pros and cons. If she married America, she'd be out of Spain's shackles in no time. America was a formidable nation, Rizal knew Alfred's destined for more greatness, and he'd take Clara on the same boat too. His nation deserved nothing more than happiness. And Rizal knew, that Clara may not have realized it yet, but there was something in the way she looked at Alfred that slightly hinted that she may feel the same way about him.

He came out of the room around midnight and much to his shock, found Clara sitting outside his door, propped against the wall fast asleep. There was a tray of food beside her. Rizal let out a small sigh and smiled. Really, this girl is going to drive him crazy if not now then sooner or later. He bent down and gathered her sleeping form in his arms and proceeded to carry her towards her bedroom so she could sleep properly.

She shifted in his arms, digging into his chest as he carried her and murmured softly in her sleep, "Mahal kita..."

He stopped dead in his tracks and glanced at her peaceful sleeping face. All his worries evaporated in an instant and he never felt happier where his heart is concerned. He didn't know to whom she directed those words to, but with her in his arms, seeking his warmth, maybe, just maybe, he could pretend she was dreaming of him. He smiled lovingly, bent down and laid a gentle kiss on her forehead. If it wasn't him, he'd gladly let her go, but in this moment, it would be him.

_Let the moon see me in a soft and tranquil light,_  
_Let the dawn send its fleeting radiance,_  
_Let the wind moan with its low murmur,_  
_And should a bird descend and rest on my cross,_  
_Let it sing its canticle of peace._

Jacinto stared after Clara as she kicked her horse to a full run. She had looked more determined now more than ever to fight. It did not come as a shock for him that there'd come a day when she'd willingly take up to arms, but her expression as she declared her wish for direct involvement in the battles, it was as if she had been a child of war. There was something about her aura that cried out for blood, and it worried Jacinto more than it encouraged him. He remembered all he had heard Clara yell at the clearing during Rizal's execution.

That day, Jacinto had hidden behind the shadows of the forest trying hard to stay in place instead of going to the girl he had been watching ever since she got there. He had felt that she wanted to be alone that day so he did his best to not let his presence be known to her as he followed her all the way to the clearing. She just can't be left to wander alone…just because Rizal is being executed in Bagumbayan doesn't mean there are no Spaniards lurking anywhere at this time. But because the girl needed her space at a time like this, he'd let her, even though he felt a tiny prick in his heart every time she yelled some other guy's name, even if it's Rizal's.

He had wished she could say his name with such affection, that she'd mourn over his death as much and that she'd stop beating herself for everything that goes wrong. He had clenched his fist to his sides, trying to calm his nerves as he listened to the only girl he ever loved pour her heart out for some dead guy miles away.

…And he had cursed him for being such a damn lucky dead guy. Even now, Jacinto has no idea as to why he wept afterwards.

_Let the burning sun evaporate the rains,_  
_And with my clamor behind, towards the sky may they turn pure;_  
_Let a friend mourn my early demise,_  
_And in the serene afternoons, when someone prays for me,_  
_O Country, pray to God also for my rest!_

He never thought his approaching death would not faze him at all. His hands were not shaking, nor was he being a nervous wreck. He had long known that he will eventually die, though he never would have guessed it would be through execution. Maybe he'll die because of sickness or a fatal accident or of old age. He would have preferred old age, then he'll have more chance of witnessing a certain country grow more beautiful and radiant, to see her unfurl her wings and break her chains. And she'll laugh more…and smile...

The memories of their years living and traveling together were his most well-kept and cherished ones. The way she smiled, talked, ate, walked, danced…they were much too vivid in his mind he could almost see her moving around in front of him, so close he could almost touch her. And then she'd call out his name so lovingly, as if he was the only one who matters in the world. His life was never really completely sad and gloomy. He already had his fill of joy and sorrows. He had experienced how it was to love and be loved in return. Thinking back to those moments he would definitely treasure for eternity, if his life could get richer than that, he would still rather it lead him to the place he was standing in now where he was sure that whatever happens, he would make a difference.

_Pray for all the unfortunate ones who died,_  
_For all who suffered torments unequaled,_  
_For our poor mothers who in their grief and bitterness cry,_  
_For orphans and widows, for prisoners in torture,_  
_And for yourself pray that your final redemption you'll see._

There was a round of applause as they announced the result of the election for president of the assembly. Much to Jacinto's displeasure, Bonifacio only ranked second in number of votes to Aguinaldo. His supporters, mainly Magdalo, had voted for Aguinaldo in absentia since he is still out in the battlefield.

"Hey, since Andres Bonifacio got the second highest votes, I move for him to automatically take up post as vice-president of this assembly." Jacinto suggested. But no one seconded the motion so he sat back down quietly and looked like he's sulking. "Bastards…" he whispered. Clara threw him an apologetic look.

The elections continued. Mariano Trias of the Magdalo (originally Magdiwang), won vice-presidency, and Bonifacio ,the last to be elected, was voted as the Director of the Interior. With the election over, it would have been completely tension-free until Daniel Tirona of the Magdalo questioned Bonifacio's qualifications yet again.

"Him as Director of the Interior? Surely you jest, that position should only be held by a bona fide lawyer while our friend Bonifacio here is a drop-out. May I suggest a good lawyer from Cavite who's also a friend of mine to take up the post? We need competent people, gentlemen. I'm just thinking about the future of our beautiful country here," he gestured at Clara, who was openly glaring at him, "So I motion for the assembly to reconsider." He said smugly.

_Who the hell does he think he is?!? _Clara and Jacinto thought. They both looked at Bonifacio. Surely Tirona's words, however they might sound like childish insults, must have hit a nerve. There was a dark look in Bonifacio's eyes as he stood up and addressed Tirona, "I demand that you take back those words, Tirona. We all agreed to respect the results of this election."

Tirona just sneered at him and left for the door.

Hurt and angered, Bonifacio drew his gun and pointed it at Tirona again. This time, Jacinto and Clara did not bother to restrain him.

"I take back what I said last time, if you don't shoot him now, I will." Jacinto drew his own gun, "Right now, I'm back-up."

"See no evil, hear no evil." Clara murmured with her hands covering her ears and her eyes tightly shut. "I'm not looking~"

"Then I won't hold back," Bonifacio replied and was about to pull the trigger on Tirona when Artemio Ricarte, the newly-elected Captain-General and also a Magdiwang, stood in front of Tirona and shook his head disapprovingly at Andres.

"No, my friend, there's no merit in taking the life of your fellow countrymen. Let Aguinaldo decide his punishment for disrespecting a superior."

Bonifacio, heeding to a friend's advice again, lowered his gun. As people left the room, he declared, "I, as chairman of this assembly and as President of the Supreme Council of the Katipunan, as all of you do not deny, declare this assembly dissolved, and I annul all that has been approved and resolved."

The next day, Aguinaldo took his oath of office as President.

_And when the cemetery is enveloped in dark night,_  
_And there, alone, only those who have gone remain in vigil,_  
_Disturb not their rest, nor the mystery,_  
_And should you hear chords from a zither or psaltery,_  
_It is I, beloved Country, singing to you._

There were many times in his life that she asked him if he would still love her if she wasn't his nation. He had always told her how silly she was for worrying about things like that. She'd then pout about him not taking her seriously. And he'd laugh and placate her with assurance that he'll love her nonetheless. Because she is Clara, and he is her beloved Pepe. And it would always be like that for the years to come. She would always be his first. But what about her? What kind of love did she have for him? He, too, never really specified what he felt about her, whenever she'd ask him if he loves her, of course the answer is 'yes'. But whether she took it as love for a friend, sister or lover, he had no idea. The definition of love between them, he assumed, was taken in general.

But the fact that he is a human meant that he could not stay with her forever. His time with her could only be as much as his human life could dictate. His life could still have been longer like he wished but there's no meaning to that now. His life would cease to be as the sun rises.

How he wanted to see the sun rise on his country on his last day…

"I am not a traitor to Spain."

But nevertheless, he was to be shot in the back by the native infantry. Seeing that he's not going to be accommodated in here of all places, he slowly turned away from the multitudes of people, from the native infantry who were to shoot him, the Spanish infantry behind the native ones, who will make sure the ones in front of them hits their target, from the sun which he would have liked to be the last thing he saw. He stood with his back straight, his head held up high.

He looked up. There were barely any clouds today. There were no birds flying, no insects cruising his vision, everything was all clear. He wondered for a bit if Clara could control the skies in her country and if she wanted to have clear skies that day for him.

_And when my grave, then by all forgotten,_  
_has not a cross nor stone to mark its place,_  
_Let men plow and with a spade scatter it,_  
_And before my ashes return to nothing,_  
_May they be the dust that carpets your fields._

"You're not planning to leave me here, are you?" Clara asked as Jacinto and Andres mounted their horses and she's still on the ground. After Aguinaldo was sworn in as president, Bonifacio opted to leave. They are on their way to Naik, Cavite now where Bonifacio's supporters were gathering. There was no horse prepared for her, so she thought she'd go with either Andres or Jacinto.

Jacinto and Andres looked at each other before Andres rounded up and pulled her up into his horse. "I thought you'd want to stay here, everyone thinks Aguinaldo should be in charge of your care now."

"Aww…she didn't want to be separated from me…look, our little girl is being cute, Andres." Jacinto teased.

Clara and Andres both glared at Jacinto. He promptly shut up but grinned back nevertheless.

"I'd go with you, that's a given. Rizal said you're not to hand me over to anyone you deem as an enemy, right?" she said from where she sat behind Andres.

"Yes, though the man may have many hidden agendas, I believe he's sincere enough in his wish for independence. In that right, Aguinaldo is not an enemy, Clara."

"Okay, I'll believe you then."

In Naik, Clara was a little surprised to find that Artemio Ricarte and others, including Generals Pio del Pilar and Mariano Noriel of the _Magdalo_ had gone over to Bonifacio's side. With that, Bonifacio asserted his leadership of the revolution with the _Naik Military Agreement_, a document which appointed Pio del Pilar commander-in-chief of the revolutionary forces and Emilio Jacinto as general of the rebel forces in Manila, Morong, Bulacan and Nueva Ecija.

However, Bonifacio's meeting was interrupted by Aguinaldo himself, and del Pilar and Noriel promptly returned to Aguinaldo's fold.

In late April, Aguinaldo assumed full presidency after consolidating his position among the Cavite elite and after most of Bonifacio's _Magdiwang_ supporters declared allegiance to Aguinaldo.

Aguinaldo's government then ordered the arrest of Bonifacio who had then decided to move out of Cavite.

_Then nothing matters, cast me in oblivion._  
_Your atmosphere, your space and valleys I'll cross._  
_I will be a vibrant and clear note to your ears,_  
_Aroma, light, colors, murmur, moan, and song,_  
_Constantly repeating the essence of my faith._

"Prepárese!"

Ah, he wondered if he'll be able to see her again, about what lies after his death. There is only one thing he wanted to do for eternity, and it was to watch over his dearly beloved nation. To see her smiles, to hear her laughs and talk, to watch her sleep, to see her free. He'll never be able to do that in this lifetime, but if he could be reborn, he'd still want to be able to live beside her, to protect her, to cherish her and forever he'd bless the day that he met her on that river.

"Punto!"

And then that promise he had held so dearly in his heart. He thought back on his life. He had tried so hard to live according to that promise. He had studied hard, and when the discrimination against native students piled up high, he studied abroad, to prove that he's worth more than all of their foreign heads together. He wrote his novels to save the Filipino from oppression by opening their eyes to the harsh reality and letting them decide whether they want to save themselves or not. He had stood up to his beliefs, that much was true. It had landed him here after all, in Bagumbayan.

He smiled. "It is done." _I have kept my end of the promise, now it's your turn, Las Islas Filipinas._

"Fuego!"

He turned around…and everything was radiant.

_My idolized country, sorrow of my sorrows,_  
_Beloved Filipinas, hear my last good-bye._  
_There I leave you all, my parents, my loves._  
_I'll go where there are no slaves, hangmen nor oppressors,_  
_Where faith doesn't kill, where the one who reigns is God._

"Why are we hiding?" Clara asked against the hand covering her mouth. They were on their way back to camp after going into the forest to gather firewood for tonight. She glared at Jacinto, the owner of the hand. They were currently hiding behind a thick tree trunk, Jacinto holding her tightly in his arms as he peeked every now and then at the direction of the camp. There were shouts and gunshots in the air.

"Aguinaldo's men are attacking camp, they've surely come for you and Andres." He whispered back. "I won't let them take you."

Clara remembered the arrival of the delegation, it was just yesterday when, unaware that Aguinaldo had ordered for his arrest, Bonifacio cordially welcomed the delegation, led by Agapito Bonzon and Ignacio Paua, sent by Aguinaldo to his camp in Indang, Cavite. And now they were attacking camp.

"We should help then!" she hissed and fought Jacinto's hold but he's surprisingly not too gentle with her today. He usually let her do what she wants.

Jacinto shushed her. "We can't help. Andres is not even helping himself in this!"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"He hasn't fired a single shot, the idiot. And he's been ordering his men to hold fire since the attack. Why the hell aren't you fighting back, Andres?" he hissed angrily as he took another glance at the direction of the camp. He heard a twig snap behind them, "Huh?" he turned and found Bonzon pointing a gun towards them. Jacinto raised his own gun and pushed Clara behind him, trapping her between him and the tree.

"I was looking all over for you, Jacinto." Bonzon said. "Hand her over peacefully now. I don't want to have to take you're life."

"Fuck you then." he glared hard at Bonzon.

"Come on, Jacinto. We don't have time for such theatrics." Bonzon lowered his gun and strapped it back to his belt, "I have no orders to kill you. You're free to go. Just hand her over."

"I won't allow--"

"Jacinto!" she screamed.

In a split second, they were both thrown to the ground. Jacinto had been rammed by riffle butts by three men who suddenly came up behind them and because Clara had been holding on tightly to him, she crashed down with him. Jacinto got up enough to fire a shot and kill one of the men and push Clara away from him as the other two continued beating him with riffles. Jacinto's hand loosened on the gun and was no longer able to fight back.

"Stop! Don't kill him!" she tried to jump into the fray but was held back when Bonzon gripped her left wrist.

"Let's go. I told you we're not here to kill him." He proceeded to drag her away. But Clara was not assured that he was telling the truth. She kicked him hard on the knee and once she was free, ran back to Jacinto and hunched over his battered body. The men, not able to stop on time, hit her on the back. She stumbled forward with a loud yelp of pain but refused to budge from her position.

"No…Clara…you're hurt…" Jacinto said weakly as he tried to switch their positions but failed miserably. He could not even force himself off the ground.

Clara cried. "It doesn't hurt…you trained me well…" her tears fell down on his blood covered face. "I'm going with them…but I'll come back."

"Can't…Rizal…"

"I don't care what Rizal said! He's dead, you're still here with me!" if he wasn't hurt, she must have been hitting him for being annoying right now, but he's bloody and battered right now, "I'll resolve this soon, wait for me and Andres to get back." She said in the tone that she always used to get him to listen to her when all else fails on a persistent Jacinto. He fell unconscious.

She gently laid him down on the grass and faced Bonzon. "He's no longer able to fight back, leave him alone!" She said when the two men stepped closer to Jacinto. She wiped the tears from her eyes and followed the men back to camp. Hopefully, Jacinto would recover and be up and about in no time like his usual self.

When they entered the camp, Clara immediately spotted Bonifacio lying unconscious in a hammock. It seems they're only taking her and Bonifacio, but there were many of Bonifacio's men killed. And to think they did not fight back.

Clara would have been silent throughout the whole ordeal, when about two weeks later, after an unfair trial, Bonifacio's sentence was changed from 'deportation' to 'execution'.

_Goodbye, dear parents, brother and sisters, fragments of my soul,_  
_Childhood friends in the home now lost,_  
_Give thanks that I rest from this wearisome day;_  
_Goodbye, sweet foreigner, my friend, my joy;_  
_Farewell, loved ones, to die is to rest._

His eyes met hers from across the room and everything seemed to push him towards her. He approached, all the times he had thought about how they'd meet again flooded him. He had thought they would meet on that riverbank, in one of his walks, in school, in his country, along a beach, but in a dinner party in Paris by the parents of one of his classmates? He never quite anticipated that. She had entered the room in the simplest dress there was on any woman on this party. And yet, she still beat them all, her beauty need not more elegance and frivolities, because she can't probably look better than when she's just plainly herself. The crowd welcomed her as the host introduced her to everybody who dared get close to her. Men, young and old, were flocking to her side, eager for an introduction. She merely smiled at them, letting them kiss the back of her hand sometimes in respect. She looked so young, barely seventeen, but the way she handled herself compared to the other Filipinas, it was as if she was older than their current traditions. She may not be as shy, quiet or well-dressed as the next Filipina but she could draw more people to her with just a single look.

From the day he met her, there was no doubt in his mind that she was not human. She was something more, something far greater. Her existence was far beyond logic and reason. What he had felt when he clasped her hand as they danced to the music was nothing short of magical. She smelled like the white flowers that were bountiful in her land. The playful joy in her eyes as she twirled and went back to his arms again. She looked into his eyes and smiled. His lips curled into a smile instantly. How could he forget how influential her smiles could be?

She giggled, and it was the nicest sound he ever had the opportunity to hear.

She looked into his eyes and he was completely lost. If she had lived so achingly long, she must have had her fare share of the harsh blows of life, but how come she's here, smiling like she does now? He concluded that she must be strong to have been able to shoulder the weight of her own existence.

Her soft hair swayed behind her and it touched his hand. He was somewhat tempted to wrap some locks around his hand and bring it to his lips. How he wanted to tell her the words that popped up in his mind every time he thought of her. The thousands of poems he had stored in his memory, the thousand songs he wanted to sing for her.

And the two words that were his only reason for living, "Minamahal kita."

Whether her smile was any indication that she heard him whisper, Rizal never found out.

* * *

**Hello! damn, I'm late for a whole week again!!!!**

**History bits:**

**----Bonifacio received the second-highest number of votes for President. Though it was suggested that he be automatically be awarded the Vice Presidency, no one seconded the motion and elections continued. Mariano Trias of the _Magdalo_ (originally _Magdiwang_) was elected Vice President. Bonifacio was the last to be elected, as Director of the Interior. Daniel Tirona, who had helped distribute the ballots, protested Bonifacio's election to Director of the Interior on the grounds that the position should not be occupied by a person without a lawyer's diploma. Tirona suggested a prominent Cavite lawyer for the position. Hurt and angered, Bonifacio demanded an apology, since the voters had agreed to respect the election results. Instead, Tirona left the room. Bonifacio drew his gun and nearly shot Tirona again, but he was restrained by Artemio Ricarte of the _Magdiwang_, who had been elected Captain-General.**

**---The next day, Aguinaldo took his oath of office as President. Meanwhile Bonifacio met with his remaining supporters and drew up the _Acta de Tejeros_ (Act of Tejeros) wherein they gave their reasons for not accepting the election results. Bonifacio alleged the election was fraudulent due to cheating and accused Aguinaldo of treason due to his negotiations with the Spanish. In their memoirs Santiago Álvarez (son of Mariano) and Gregoria de Jesús both alleged that many ballots were already filled out before being distributed, and Guillermo Masangkay contended there were more ballots prepared than voters present. Álvarez writes that Bonifacio had been warned of the rigged ballots before the votes were canvassed, but he had done nothing. So that means politicians here have been cheating since Aguinaldo.**

**--Aguinaldo later sent a delegation to Bonifacio to get him to cooperate, but the latter refused. Bonifacio appointed Emilio Jacinto general of the rebel forces in Manila, Morong, Bulacan and Nueva Ecija. In Naik, Bonifacio met with Artemio Ricarte and others, including Generals Pio del Pilar and Mariano Noriel of the _Magdalo_ who had gone over to his side. Bonifacio asserted his leadership of the revolution with the _Naik Military Agreement_, a document which appointed Pio del Pilar commander-in-chief of the revolutionary forces. Bonifacio's meeting was interrupted by Aguinaldo himself, and del Pilar and Noriel promptly returned to Aguinaldo's fold. In late April Aguinaldo fully assumed presidential office after consolidating his position among the Cavite elite - most of Bonifacio's _Magdiwang_ supporters declaring allegiance to Aguinaldo. Aguinaldo's government then ordered the arrest of Bonifacio, who was then moving out of Cavite.**

**--A party of Aguinaldo's men led by Bonzon and Paua met with Bonifacio at his camp in Indang. Unaware of the order for his arrest, Bonifacio received them cordially. The next day, Bonzon and Paua attacked Bonifacio's camp. Bonifacio did not fight back himself and ordered his men to hold their fire, though shots were nevertheless exchanged. In the crossfire Bonifacio was shot in the arm. Paua stabbed him in the neck and was prevented from striking further by one of Bonifacio's men, who offered to be killed instead. One of his brothers Ciriaco was shot dead, his other brother Procopio was beaten senseless, and his wife Gregoria may have been raped by Bonzon.**

**AND IF YOU'RE WONDERING WHY THERE'S STILL NO SQUARE-OFF BETWEEN ANTONIO AND CLARA...WELL, THAT'S FOR LATER...COZ THEY'RE SPECIAL HAHAHAHA**

**---and as for the present day part...well, the South East Asian War had started! Go Philippines!! I kind of like it when Philippines kicks ass...if she'd be the one to conquer all of them instead of the other way around!**


	10. Sorry, but we're rebelling: Part IV

The attack of the greatest Malaysian fortress did not exactly happen secretly. In just a few hours, the Malaysian president had issued a declaration of war against the Republic of the Philippines. Because the attack of their largest fleet of warplanes and ships had greatly diminished the firepower of their own army, the Malaysian government pleaded for help from fellow sympathetic ASEAN countries, mainly Vietnam and Thailand. It had been a rule of the ASEAN to not interfere with each other's struggles but with the sudden attack and increase of militarization activities by the Philippines, all of them were under threat of sudden attacks too. Three days after the attack, the Malaysian president formally signed a Triple defense Pact with Thailand and Vietnam. Said pact included that any nation that attacks any of the three would automatically be at war with the two others.

Action was yet to be taken by other ASEAN nations. Brunei had locked herself in her room ever since she had gotten back from the meeting and would not come out for about anything. Singapore, Cambodia and Myanmar were all too afraid to go against any of the larger nations and declared that they will be perpetually neutral. There were rumors of Laos possibly siding with Vietnam if hostilities begin. Indonesia, however, got them all hanging to every bit of news as to which side he'd choose. Malaysia, Vietnam and Thailand were preparing for the worst case scenario – Indonesia siding with the Philippines- which wasn't exactly impossible since it was also not a secret that there were talks and emissaries going between the two countries about the possibilities of an alliance.

The next day after her attack on Malaysia, Philippines, still a bit groggy after the long flight to Russia and grumbling about how she would have to do it often after this meeting, stood in front of the huge oak doors which would lead her to a conference room where China and Russia were waiting for her. She turned to her president who was walking behind her and smiled at him. He smiled back warily at her. Philippines tried hard to hold back a laugh. 'He thinks I'd do something evil whenever I smile nowadays.' she thought.

"Let's get inside. Vietnam might attack me any second," she giggled at the mental image of Vietnam attacking her country to no avail in her absence. 'Yeah right! Like I'd leave them any weak openings. I've got more than enough ammo to hold any attack for decades!'. She threw open the doors, her eyes immediately spotting Ivan Braginski and Wang Yao talking with each other by the large window. She walked over to them after paying respects to their bosses and left her president with them.

She touched China's hand to her forehead as a sign of respect for her senior family and shook Ivan's hand as a greeting. "Ma'i, were you okay? Did you get hurt? I heard you attacked Malaysia yesterday-aru."

"I'm glad you made it back to my place, Philippines." Ivan smiled sinisterly, "I was hoping you'd want to stay longer this time?"

She giggled innocently as if she did not catch the underlying meaning in that statement, "Sorry, I can't. You know how things are at my place. I can't leave them unattended or I'll miss out on the fun!"

"How about I speed things up for you so you could get back here quickly, I like it when you're here." Ivan almost looked like he was pouting.

"I'm flattered, but we've talked about this already, Ivan. South East Asia is my job, the weapons are more than enough, I could handle everything else myself." She turned back to China, "Uncle Yao, about your question earlier, I'm okay. I did not even get a scratch. Malaysia did, though, it was quite many."

"Did you see him then –aru?"

"Yes, it was just my luck that he was there at the harbor. So I personally took him out and brought him with me when I left." She looked like a child who just caught a big fish by herself.

"Is he at your house-aru?"

"Yup. I've locked him up. You should have seen the look on his president's face when he demanded I release him back." She giggled.

"Are you holding him hostage? I could take care of him for you. I'm pretty good at disciplining prisoners, don't you think so too?" Ivan suggested happily.

Her smile dropped. "I can handle him just fine. I said no need to interfere. You'd soon get your hands full with the rest of the world, are you sure I do not have to go out of my continent? I mean, it's pretty easy down there once I take out Vietnam and Thailand."

"Well, if you really want to, you could take out New Zealand and Australia, and you could include East Timor and Papua New Guinea, too. Why don't you just take the whole Pacific? Save me some islands though, I've always wanted to have my own private tropical island." Russia suggested.

"I'd gladly give you some! I'll even make sure they're completely uninhabited! Call me if you want to have fun, god knows I could use some right now."

China rolled his eyes. If they weren't talking about war here, you'd think they're just playing a good old game of Risk. Russia and Philippines were just treating conquering other nations as child's play and lives as toys that could be spared. He shuddered at the thought and remembered precisely why he chose to side with them.

"How has talks been with Indonesia-aru?"

"I've just got him, Uncle Yao. Before I went back home yesterday I had a stop-over at his place. He's surely siding with me."

"How did you get him to agree?" Russia asked.

"You're not the only one with great convincing powers, Ivan." She smirked. "I have my ways. I'm his beloved sister, after all. There's nothing he can refuse me, given my predicament. All will end well, I will win this war." She said with such conviction in her voice that China was also assured that she will arise as victorious in the end. He just hoped she never overdid it. He was hoping she didn't have to hurt herself more than she already did.

China knew he was the only one Philippines trusted in the whole world as of now, and maybe Indonesia too. And for that, he'd willingly fight alongside her until the end. It will be their little secret, one that he's willing to keep for the rest of his long life.

He was snapped out of his thoughts by Philippines tugging on his sleeves. She was pouting cutely. "Uncle Yao! Uncle Yao! Hello~ I want to eat Chinese food, and Ivan wants some too. Could we get something to eat now, please?"

China smiled at her and patted her on the head, "Alright, Ma'i. Uncle Yao would cook you some delicious food aru." He held her hand and led her out of the room. She instantly latched on to Ivan and dragged him along with her into the corridors.

"Thanks! I'm famished." She said.

"You've been increasingly happy these past few days, mind sharing what's on your mind?" Russia asked. He loved seeing her happy, but he can't deny he loved that other look on her more…

"Just the idea of South East Asia groveling at my feet makes me so happy and excited I almost want to have them at my mercy right now."

For a split second, China can't believe what he was hearing, but he just shrugged it off as one of Philippines' newly acquired tastes, though he made a mental note to have a talk with Ivan after she leaves.

* * *

America tried to drown out the voices of the people in the room. He shouldn't be just sitting there, silent like the dead, trying real hard to wish himself out of the room. He should have been on his feet now, slamming his knuckles on the table, getting everyone's attention, formulating some super cool plan against whatever they were fighting now, but he wasn't doing any of that. His president even looked worried at the loss of his usual over-enthusiastic distraction.

It was just that, these past few weeks, he wasn't able to sleep much. And no, he wasn't taking drugs, nor was he sick, heroes never get sick. Fine, it was about Clara. She wasn't speaking to him anymore, not until that time she practically shouted him out of her hospital room. The only reason he was dragged out of the room was when he stopped struggling when he saw the look on her eyes as she yelled profanities at him. There was too much animosity he could barely stand up straight under the weight of her gaze. There was only one word that echoed trough his mind at that time: Why?

He knew he had failed to be a hero to her. But god knows how desperately he tried to find her, even foregoing important assemblies and exhausting his own country's resources to find a single trace that could lead to her whereabouts. Everyone had seen how devastated he was when after he had tried everything, it only led to one conclusion: She had disappeared from the face of the earth, just like that.

But he never gave up. No one could disappear just like that and for Christ's sake, he's the fucking United States of America, he could spy on people halfway around the globe, surely something like finding another nation shouldn't even pose a problem. He's got the most efficient military resources, FBI, connections, money, everything, so why does everything turn up nothing?!?

Japan had helped. England had even pretended to reluctantly help. And how could he forget how half of Europe was needed to lock down Spain when he heard that his beloved only daughter was kidnapped on an American airport? Good thing Romano was nearby when they broke the news to Spain so nobody got killed but everyone there, namely Arthur, Francis, Alfred and Prussia, got pummeled, especially Alfred. He was hospitalized for two days before he could even force himself to get back to his search. The others took a week before they could even sit on their beds.

He was the first outside nation to know that she had been found after two months of turning up a blank. By then, he was he was at his wit's end. So when he learned that she was safe and recuperating in a hospital already, he let out a relieved sigh and then promptly slept for a whole 24 hours. He needed to look presentable when she sees him, not like some haggard office worker. He had arrived along with a fleet of ships and planes he was planning to give her so she'd have better protection now that she's back in her country and that whoever managed to hide her for two solid months won't get her back as easily. As much as his presence in the country was known to everyone, his visit to the hospital wasn't. He was still wary of Spain's wrath so he took to great lengths in avoiding Clara's father. It was just Alfred's luck that the man wasn't skulking outside his daughter's room with his trusty axe ready to strike any approaching American.

There were many people in the room, mainly her South East Asia family, and when he entered, they silently gave space for him. Vietnam even motioned for her neighbors to give them some time alone but Malaysia, Indonesia and especially Brunei…refused to budge from the room. So only the three of them were in the room, watching Alfred's every move that he almost felt a bit self-conscious.

"Who knows what that depraved idiot might do to my sister?" Malaysia had said but let Alfred near Philippines. Well, Malaysia acknowledges that Alfred really did his best in trying to find his sister. Malaysia pushed Alfred to, except with that thing with Sulu and Basilan, because Brunei was pushing and whining for Malaysia to do something. There's almost about zero things that he could refuse when she starts pouting and pleading with those cute damn lips of hers…Malaysia damned her for being such an airhead…

"I don't want to let her out of my sight yet. Those two months she's missing were like hell to me!" If it had been hell to her, she had made sure to make Malaysia's life then much worse than hers. But she really just wanted him to listen. She'd admit that he looked much better to her when he's irritated than when he puts on that 'suave' attitude when he's flirting with girls.

Alfred just flashed them a big thankful smile before leaning over Clara's bed and giving her a kiss on the forehead as she slept and squeezed her unusually cold hands. His smile dropped a bit when he remembered the only other time that her hands felt deathly cold. "I'm sorry I failed to find you." He whispered near her ear, though he's aware that she's asleep. But maybe, just maybe, he could start apologizing now. "I'd take care of the bad guys so sleep well, Clara."

Brunei tried so hard not to look at her best friend being cuddled by the handsome American. True, she had a slight crush on him once…but that's because he had looked so dashing back in the war and she's just hit puberty then! And she also couldn't deny that the American had always been looking at her best friend, Philippines, lovingly like he was doing now and back then as well. Like she's the most precious person in the world to him, like a lover would to his beloved. But Brunei had always been a fan of Clara's colorful love life so she snaked the camera out of her handbag silently and dared to take a snap shot of the bed where Clara was sleeping. Malaysia narrowed his eyes at her when she erupted into a burst of giggles which she tried hard to muffle by biting her finger. Malaysia and Indonesia were standing outside in the balcony while Brunei was spying at Alfred from the doorway to the balcony.

"What do you think you're doing?" he asked as he snatched the digital camera from Brunei's hands.

"Taking some pictures to put in my scrapbook…as well as gossip material when she's awake. She's got a lot to pay back for worrying me insane." She smirked.

America was half-sitting on the bed near her head, one hand stroking her long black hair while the other held her cold hand. He looked over her sleeping form and winced at the numerous scrapes and bruises peeking at the hem of her clothes, the bandages that were visible through the thin cloth of the hospital gown she was wearing made his blood boil. There were just too much injuries. And what made him furious the most were the lines around her wrists and feet, it was as if she was bound too tightly. America couldn't begin to imagine the horror and pain they had put the sleeping girl beside him in. He'd personally make sure they pay for what they have done.

His grip on her hand must have tightened too much when she was stirred awake suddenly and for a moment she scanned the room until her yes fell on him…he smiled and she screamed.

The three ASEAN nations out on the balcony immediately rushed inside, the door out of the ward burst open to reveal England, who stopped for a second to take in the commotion before throwing aside the white rose bouquet he had brought for his visit and making his way to the bedside.

Clara was hysterical, she was shouting and lashing violently that America found it hard to restrain her from possibly hurting herself. He cursed at the unknown men who did this to her. She must have been having nightmares about her ordeal. He hated the awful lot of them. Whatever the reason may be, they had no right to touch Clara or even put a finger on her.

It took a few more minutes and angry yells from Philippines, Malaysia, England and Brunei before America registered the fact that she wasn't screaming at her captors, she was screaming at America, Alfred, Jones, Al, to get the hell away from her, that's he's disgusting, that he has no right to decide anything for her, and that he dies in a ditch.

"Clara! It's me, Alfred!" he said, trying hard to get close to her amidst the kicks and punches she threw at his advances.

"America, just get the bloody hell away, you're not calming her any!" England said, with his arms hooked under America's own arms, trying to extract the latter from the thrashing girl. Malaysia was in front of Alfred, pushing him away while Indonesia tried his best to calm Philippines down until Brunei had gone back from calling the nurses.

"Alfred, give it up! Maybe some other time, just get out now!" Malaysia ordered, but the American wouldn't budge. The room fell silent suddenly. Clara had switched to looking at Alfred with such open hatred that got America so shaken that he eventually allowed himself to be led out of the room by a grumpy England.

And even as England proceeded to angrily scold him after they had gotten into his car for being a nuisance to a recuperating person and why he just couldn't listen to what he's being told, there was only one thought that crossed his mind and probably blocked out everything the older man has tried to practically shout in his ears: He was hated by Clara. His spirits immediately spiraled to hell.

That was a month ago, and he was forbidden to approach Philippines until they were sure she had completely pulled through her whole ordeal. He heard it took several shots of sedatives before the nurses could pacify the furious nation even after Alfred had left. Seeing him might trigger bad memories that were already etched onto her skin. Because of her sudden aversion to him, people began to suspect that he was the cause of her disappearance, like it was another underhanded trick from the Americans to cause more trouble in the world. But all of those were lies. Alfred had vowed to never ever repeat his mistakes back at the end of the 1800's. He would never hurt her again. No matter what…Even if they find themselves to be on opposites sides of the coin.

He was broken from his thoughts by none other than his president. It was only then that he noticed that everyone in the room had already gone and the two of them were the only ones left.

He apologized for trailing off the minutes of the meeting before gathering his things, shoving them haphazardly in his briefcase and making for the door when his boss called out to him. He paused and turned back.

"Is there something you'd like to tell me about? You've been silent through the whole meeting, that isn't like you. What's wrong, America?" his boss asked, standing near the window looking down on his daughters playing on the swing he had helped build just below on the garden. America walked closer so he could see the kids too.

"I'm sorry. I guess work is catching up on me, but no worries-," he was cut off.

"Forgive me for prying, but is this behavior of yours a result of your visit to the Philippines a month ago? I'm surprised you haven't said a word about her at all. It wasn't easy to get another word out of you when she was missing. How has the girl been faring, Alfred? Is she well already?"

Alfred frowned. Even his busy boss could see that he was unusually upset about something. "She's fine and safe now. I guess that's the end of it."

His boss gave him a worried look, "I know you've heard that the Philippines had attacked Malaysia without warning two days ago and that Malaysia had declared war in retaliation. We still have a standing mutual defense pact with Philippines, Alfred. At the event that anybody attacks her, we are sworn to come to her aid. So far, Philippines had supported you in every war you waged. I am the one who's supposed to make this decision, Alfred, but I want your opinion on this matter. Given all the details of Philippines' current actions, is America still willing to fight on her side?"

"What do you mean? Are you insinuating that I leave her now that I could make good on our agreement?" Alfred frowned.

"We have just gathered conclusive evidence that Russia is plotting to go to war with us within the year. Alfred, Philippines' name is on the list of his potential allies. What prompted the sudden change of heart?"

"I don't know what you're talking about. Philippines may have a beef with other South-East Asian nations but that doesn't mean she's siding with that fucking commie."

"Language, Alfred." His boss reprimanded, "Philippines was able to attack Malaysia because Russia and China had supplied her with weapons and vehicles. Her military power had increased a hundred fold, and she immediately used it on people who lived close to her. Haven't you mentioned some time ago that Malaysia was her brother? Did she ever give a reason for her actions?"

"Yes, he is. I think. Whatever reason Clara had for attacking him, I trust her. Malaysia had been pressuring her for a long time, maybe she just snapped. Ah…sorry, I just don't know what's happening to her anymore." His head was starting to ache again.

"I see. I'm curious though, what did she do when she saw you?" he made it sound like it would be his last question before he let Alfred leave so Alfred was pressured to divulge.

Alfred hesitated for a moment, not really wanting other people, besides the one who actually witnessed it, to know what had happened. But heck, it's his boss, and the guy's married, maybe Alfred could get something good out of confessing, "I really have no idea why she screamed and lashed at me. She told me to never show my face ever again. She hates me so much. I was at a loss on how to pacify her anger. When she pushes me away…I just find myself not knowing what to do anymore." He said, failing at trying not to sound pitiful.

There was only a comforting hand on his shoulder. Fuck, even England could give him that.

And then his boss told him what he's going to do. It was one of the rare times that America invited England to get drunk.

* * *

"I'm starting to think that you don't like me very much." Russia said as they dined in a table on his front porch.

China had whipped up some wonderful meal and Philippines was already snoozing on the divan he had the servants set up for her next to the table, because the temperature were somewhat warmer outside than in the house so she insisted on sleeping outside. She was so full so she fell asleep as soon as she lied down. So Russia and China were left on the table, having tea.

And I have good reason to, aru." China said casually and sipped his tea. Well, one thing that China made a point to always keep is to be honest with Ivan. Because he's one of the people who usually don't get it unless you say it right to their face.

"Tell me, Yao. I don't like it when you care less for me than I care for you." Ivan said with an innocent smile.

China almost scalded his tongue on his tea. But of course, he somewhat hated it when Ivan could talk so casually about their relationship too. They weren't exactly best friends, and they certainly are not lovers. They somehow just got stuck in between.

"It's just that, you've changed her a lot aru. I'm almost afraid of what she's capable of nowadays. Could you tell me what is the meaning of this?" China managed to give Ivan a stern look which the latter just ignored as always.

"I merely got rid of a probable useful ally for America before she got useful to him. Just the thought of her being with me could Alfred through the roof. Besides, getting her on my side had some merits." Ivan answered. How he wished he could have seen Alfred's face when he learned that he'll be against her.

"Like what aru?" China knew that Philippines had no use for Russia. There just happens to be a reason why she landed herself on the Russian's good side.

"Like…she's my new toy. She's pretty hard to topple down when she gets serious. And the thing I like about her most is that she's tired of people underestimating her. We could expect much from her. This war would be splendid." Ivan said excitedly, taking a sip on his tea as he looked at Philippines' calm sleeping face.

China followed Russia's gaze. "Hm. As long as you don't cross the lines again. I won't forgive you as easily next time aru."

"Depends on whether she sticks to the plan. I'd hate it if her little Pacific theater is boring."

"Don't worry. It would be a good show. Once Vietnam finally gathers the guts to stick her sorry ass out and attack me, everything would work out just fine." Philippines said with her eyes still closed. She was still lying as if she was still asleep so her sudden talk surprised the two nations who were watching her sleep. "I have been thinking, America's boss had been lobbying for limitation of nuclear warheads for a long time now and I bet you've exceeded your production nevertheless because you're just cool like that or whatever, but where do you keep the excess missiles? You can't exactly destroy them since that would be a waste of good money."

"Are you interested in purchasing nuclear weapons, Philippines?" Ivan asked good-heartedly as if they were just talking about toys again.

Philippines opened her eyes and turned on her side so she could face Ivan "Maybe…I don't really have any use for them back in my place…but what the heck, tell me about it." she smirked.

China just went back to his tea. Really, the two of them could use some seriousness in their lives. They are talking so casually about these things again. He knew Ivan for the longest time, and China is glad that Russia had found a friend in Philippines and that his smiles somehow got meaning these days. He wondered if it was Russia who had influenced her or the other way around. Because their attitudes were certainly blending into one another. Yao dared a glance at Russia. It doesn't look like he had found a toy, more like he got a playmate. He then glanced at Philippines. He wondered if her wounds still hurt at night. China thought, _I'd find out later._

Later that night, China had no idea what Philippines saw when she walked in front of the mirror and smashed it afterwards in hysterics.

* * *

**April 29, 1897 – June 14, 1897**

She did not try to run away so she was never bound. She did not say a word so she was never gagged. She did not trust a single soul so she never cared. All she ever thought about was the man in the hammock, Andres Bonifacio. She was worried for Bonifacio's health. The wounds that were inflicted on him when he was arrested was so grave, he was merely an inch from death. His captors won't let his wounds be treated properly. Clara wanted to reach out to him but they were kept separately. She wasn't exactly a prisoner so they can't put her in prison, she's just forced to be there, like a trophy of some sort or some symbol of authority for her captors. Clara knew all the men there were Aguinaldo's and therefore under his command. She refused to loathe him despite his hostile actions towards Andres. She can't yet, and she shouldn't play favorites. She knew it was unfair.

"Let me treat his wounds. He's already suffered enough. He might not last until the trial if this keeps up." She said to one of the generals who came to dine with her every night.

"He's already sleeping, maybe tomorrow." He said no more.

Clara turned away, her grip on her utensils tightening, 'That's what you said last night too. Why don't you just directly admit that you want him to die?'

The next day, the trial opened in Naik. Clara felt a bit relieved that they were fair enough to give Andres a trial, and that they let her attend. It's quite a momentous experience for her, it would be the first time she'd get to witness an all-Filipino trial, with her own people presiding, prosecuting and defending one another. Everyone knows that Spanish courts which had prosecuted Filipinos in the past only served injustice and lack of fairness. She, as well as her people, hated them. Clara expected a clean trial. A _real_ trial at last.

But what she got was a complete farce. Personal prejudice was rampant and the very fact that the man on trial was the enemy of President Aguinaldo made a verdict of guilty a foregone conclusion. The mockery of her expectations was like a slap to her face.

Her jaw almost dropped when she saw the men who composed the Council of War who were to preside and act as jury for the duration of the whole trial. They were all Caviteños, Aguinaldo's men. She then knew that it would be hard to win the case. As much as they are prosecuting him for sedition, treason and plotting to kill Aguinaldo, from Clara's point of view, they were grilling him for not being from Cavite too.

Clara frowned when the last member of the Council entered the room. She narrowed her eyes, "Isn't that the man Bonifacio earlier arrested in connection with freeing Spanish prisoners? What is he doing in there?" she was sitting beside Baldomero Aguinaldo, Emilio's cousin, because the latter was busy.

"He's a general, of course he's there." was the only reply she got. She did not talk to him anymore afterwards.

Clara was more enraged by how Pio del Pilar, Mariano Noriel and Severino de las Alas, all signatories of the Naik Military Agreement with Bonifacio, were able to make up for having once supported Andres in the above mentioned agreement.

Del Pilar testified in the trial, "Bonifacio had been forcing officers to join him, I'm just glad Aguinaldo was able to stop such a desperate man from his illegal measures." Clara wanted to chuck the chair she was sitting in down his throat. What a lie!

As for Severino de las Alas, he also made false charges against Bonifacio, "The friars had paid him to establish the Katipunan and to egg us all into fighting a war for which we are poorly armed. He's planning to surrender his men to the Spaniards." Which was, much to Clara's disbelief, widely accepted, as well as more false charges like Bonifacio ordering his soldiers to forcibly take carabaos and other animals from the people and that he had ordered for the burning of the convent and church in of Indang.

Mariano Noriel presided over the whole trial.

As the days of the trial passed with false charges against Bonifacio and his brother piling one after another, Clara almost lost hope that she might be able to get Bonifacio alive out of this mess they were in. Until the last day of the trial, she kept up a tiny sliver of hope, which was also crushed, by the way, by her own people again.

The fact that the court gave credence to the story of Lt. Col. Pedro Giron, a Bonifacio partisan turned State witness, who said that he was given ten pesos in advance by Andres to kill Aguinaldo in case the latter did not submit to his authority, proved to be too much of a conspiracy to her.

Clara stood up and openly complained, "That's completely a lie! Andres even said to me that Aguinaldo is not his enemy! He knows that Emilio is an effective leader and is beneficial to the revolution, how could you even consider Giron's testimony? Where is he anyway?" she yelled before anyone in the court could stop her.

Andres smiled weakly at her from the front pew, glad that he had at least someone who believes in him in this court. Andres could not even trust his own lawyer.

He stood up and faced Noriel, speaking for the first time since the whole trial had started, "Could the court please present me Lt. Col. Giron so that I may question him about his testimony? If he's the state's witness for a crime I certainly did not commit, why is he not present in this room today?"

Noriel overruled him on the grounds that Giron…was already _dead_.

Clara wanted to strangle every single one on the court except Bonifacio. In her mind, there was a really big WHAT?!? blocking all her other more rational thoughts. She can't find a word to describe how she felt at that moment. Enraged, Furious, and even stupid was among them though. She wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. _'What a load of bullcrap…I didn't know that they were this desperate to get rid of Bonifacio.'_ She dared a glance at Bonifacio's direction. He had sat back down again, Clara knew Bonifacio for a long time now. He was trying to keep the last ounce of dignity and self-esteem his enemies were forcibly taking out of him. Clara saw his hands curling into fists as it rested on his thighs. She smiled a little. The normally hot-headed Bonifacio was also keeping his temper in control.

But nothing beats the closing remarks of Bonifacio's own defense lawyer, "If there is a punishment worse than death, Andres Bonifacio deserves it for plotting to kill our respected president. Good night."

Clara wanted to faint. The guy did not just say that. She closed her gaping mouth and had wanted to have a verbal run-off again but stopped when she saw Andres' reaction. He was just calm, as if he did not hear it.

Clara was sure then, that she'd never let him die because of this, even if she had to beg Aguinaldo for Bonifacio's life, she will.

On May 6, the court's decision was ready. Two days later, Baldomero, now auditor of war, recommended to hi cousin, the President, approval of the decision rendered by the court on the ground that it had proven that Bonifacio wanted to kill the President and overthrow the government.

Clara went to Aguinaldo immediately when rumors circulated that Bonifacio was sentenced to be executed. She found him at his temporary office in Naik. The man had looked worn out, probably because of all the retreating he had been doing the past few days. He was losing most of his confrontations with the Spaniards, which was not a good sign.

"I have a favor to ask of you, would you grant me this one wish of mine?" she asked. She hid her hands behind her so she won't appear nervous or afraid. Bonifacio's life depended on her now.

"What is it, Filipinas? If it is anything within my power, I would certainly grant it." Aguinaldo answered, looking up from the reports and letters on his table. Actually, he had been looking for a way to turn her over to his side and get into her good graces. He'd fully consolidate his authority if the motherland was on his side.

"The court had sentenced Bonifacio to die. I want you to overturn the sentence. Even deportation would do or exile from the Revolution. I don't want him to die, please."

"But, Señorita Clara, the man had been found guilty by the court of sedition and treason, as well as plotting to kill me. Surely such a man of his caliber-,"

Clara bit her lip and knelt on the ground before Aguinaldo. "I've been accompanying Bonifacio and his troops ever since the start of this revolution. I am the motherland. You're all born from this land. I understand the sacrifices you had to make to set me free. I thank you from the bottom of my heart, I really do. I had always thought that armed-conflict was not the right path to freedom, but it is inevitable, and even I had led troops myself in order to defeat the Spaniards after they killed Jose Rizal." She paused, trying to weigh his expression if there's a single chance that he'd capitulate.

The man looked as regal as ever, she continued, "I'm sorry if I had to bring my personal feelings into this matter, but Bonifacio had taken good care of me, he was like a father to me. He's special to me. It pains me to think that he'd be killed at the hands of the men he should have fought along with. I beg you, spare the man his life. He had already given up more than enough for my sake. Let him walk away from this with his life."

"It is easy to give the man his life, Señorita Clara. But as a Filipino, I have my pride as well. If I was in Bonifacio's place, I wouldn't want to walk away with just my life. Andres' life is with the revolution, if he can't fight for it, he is nothing but the empty shell of a man. He'd have no more purpose. He may have his life, but he won't be really living. He'd be like a walking corpse, his actions as insignificant as that of the dead. Which would you choose, Filipinas? Life or death?" he helped her up and looked hard at the young lady.

She closed her eyes, turned around and left silently. She did a double take when she reached the door, and turned back at Aguinaldo, looking solemn. "Life. I want him to live."

"Do as you wish, Filipinas." Aguinaldo said. She said a brief thanks before closing the door behind her.

Emilio Aguinaldo sighed and returned to sit at his desk, fishing for the papers his cousin had asked him to sign earlier about the finalization of Bonifacio's punishment. He stared at it for a few minutes before summoning his council to his office.

* * *

She followed her guide as he led her towards Bonifacio's cell. She lugged her medical supplies beside her, as well as the basket of food she intended to bring him.

"He's in there." The soldier held the flaps of the entrance open for her as she entered. The space inside was almost bare besides the single bed where Bonifacio lay prone and a single chair beside it where a guard sat. She beckoned the guard to get out.

Once they were alone, Clara woke Bonifacio up.

"Andres, Andres! Wake up! It's me, Clara! I brought you dinner. And I'm going to dress your wounds too." She shook him a bit until he stirred awake.

He sat up at the sight of her, and Clara helped him into a sitting position with the headboard supporting his back. "Clara?!? Why are you here? Did you sneak in here? Where are my guards?" he asked worryingly. She had a penchant for sneaking around this past few days…he might have a small idea where she got that habit from. That idiot would certainly pay.

"No, it's okay. I'm allowed to be here. I brought you food. After you eat, I'd clean your wounds." She gave him a reassuring smile.

"There's no need to clean my wounds. I'm going to die soon. I have known that I'm not going to get out of Cavite alive." He said, taking the food presented to him nonetheless.

She ignored what he just said, "I talked to Aguinaldo earlier, I asked him if he could spare your life." She sat on the chair beside his bed, cradling the medical kit in her lap.

Bonifacio put down his food and looked at her in the eye, "No, Clara. I refuse to owe the man my life. I am aware of what I have become to this revolution: a threat that had to be eliminated as soon as possible."

"How could you be a threat to the revolution when you support it with your whole life? Andres, you are important to this cause, you have been since the start. You started this. I want to see you finish it."

"I have resigned myself to my fate, Clara. If God has willed me to die in this way, I would gladly welcome it." Clara disliked the fact that he looked relieved.

"No, it is not. It was the will of those men. I need you to live. If I get you out of Cavite, surely they won't have any more reason to castigate you. Lead the revolution in Visayas and Mindanao. Far away from Aguinaldo so you won't have to clash with each other."

"You can't erase the fact that Aguinaldo's supporters are very much afraid of what I'm capable of, Clara. I stand in the way of the Cavite leadership's goal of gaining control of the revolution. If I die, Aguinaldo's authority over the revolution would be solidified."

She got to her feet, "But-! No! W-wait! That can't be right! They can't be that selfish…I-I mean-why won't you listen to me? You're both strong and competent! The more force we have, the better chance we'll win, correct? I thought you want do this for me…why won't you live when I ask you to?" she hugged her knees close to her and buried her face in her folded arms. She could feel Bonifacio patting her on the head like she's some sort of child who needs comfort. She sulked even more. "I do believe we're talking seriously here…stop placating me, it's never done me any good."

Bonifacio even had the gall to chuckle at her, "Somehow, it seems being friends with Jacinto rubbed off on me and I ended up spoiling you when I swore I won't. You've become more vocal of the things you want. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing yet."

"Yeah, right…are we going to pretend you're not going to die now? Andres, please take this a bit more seriously like I had expected you to. You're acting like Jacinto."

"If I am Jacinto I'd already be at my feet wreaking havoc outside…I do wonder what that idiot is doing right now…do you have any news?" he chuckled a bit at remembering his best friend.

"Sorry. I didn't have time to check on him. But he must be doing fine on his own for now. I told him to wait for us." She could not stop the smile that appeared on her lips when she remembered the moments the three of them had. "I bet one way or another he's spouting some non-sense like his undying love for me somewhere."

Bonifacio nodded in agreement and they both shared a laugh at Jacinto's expense, when the laughter died down, he said, "Are you aware, Clara, of Jacinto's lineage? Of why he had attached himself to you immediately since you two met? It's the only reason I always reprimanded his useless flirting with you but never really tried to separate you two."

Clara shook her head 'no'. Her forehead creased in curiosity, "He has never mentioned anything about his parentage at all." she closed her eyes for a bit, "Hmmm…now that I think about it, he never once mentioned even having parents. I don't know anything about him at all! Except that he dropped out of college so he could join the revolution. Oh, that guy isn't really a lawyer!"

"Yes, he isn't. But he's intelligent when he wants to. Jacinto is from a poor family. So he'd have a chance of a better life, his mother sent him to her rich brother so Jacinto could be provided with better life but he dropped out of college when he joined the Katipunan. I remember he once told me that it was his mother who encouraged him to join. He said she had insisted that it was some sort of payback or atonement for her sins."

Clara hanged on to his every word, "Joining the Katipunan for atonement? What did she do? What could you possibly atone for by joining the Katipunan…-unless she had a sin against me?" She cocked her head to the side in confusion, "I don't remember anything like that…what's the name of his mother?"

"I think it's Josefa Dizon…I'm not very sure…ring a bell?"

"No…I don't recognize it from anywhere at all. But if she was that desperate to be forgiven that she'd even give up her son, I guess she's really sincere…it's not like Jacinto is acting like he's being forced into this."

"He wasn't. He's really happy to be with you. He said it was a dream come true." He let out a yawn. "Well, I'm tired. Go back to your tent now, Clara. It was nice talking to you."

Clara giggled. "Yeah, it was nice. Didn't know Jacinto would ever make an interesting topic. Goodnight, Andres. I'll be taking my leave now, goodbye." And she took her leave.

"Farewell, Clara." Bonifacio said after her. She waved behind her as she disappeared from the entrance.

She was already a few meters away from his tent when she realized something, she tried to turn back but the guards forbade her from entering again, "Andres! That was unfair! You tricked me! We're not finished talking yet! I'll be back tomorrow!"

* * *

Emilio Aguinaldo watched from the window of his office as Clara shouted at Bonifacio outside the man's tent. She seemed so full of life when she was with Bonifacio, but in his presence, she was cold and untouchable. He wondered deep in his heart if he was doing the right thing. The girl had admitted that she had looked upon Bonifacio like some sort of father figure. And it was his 'motherland' he was talking about. The decision to eliminate such a man like Bonifacio would certainly put a ravine between him and Clara. But what can he do?

He looked at the men currently present in his office. Generals Noriel and del Pilar, both of whom used to be from Bonifacio's flock, were the ones who were adamantly persuading him to finalize the decision to execute Bonifacio. He had been refusing since he had given his word to Clara. The court decision was still in his hands. As long as the document was still whole, the responsibility would be his.

"The revolution has no need for two leaders! There's only one seat for the president, which Señor Aguinaldo has won! A divided revolution would bring doom to us all! We must not repeat the same mistake as our ancestors. Bonifacio should be eliminated as soon as possible. He's a threat to our cause." Noriel insisted.

Ricarte glared at him, "Have you no shame, Mariano? The man has already been dragged through your phony court. He's been forced to stand in shame. What more could the people gain from following a man the government clearly despises? Once the man moves out of Cavite, I doubt he'd ever pose a problem to any of you. We do not have to kill each other over something like power. The revolution is our concern, not your dirty politics!" he reasoned out.

Aguinaldo could feel a headache coming. His carefully built position or Clara?

By the end of the meeting, Aguinaldo had allowed the decision to stand. On May 10, Major Lazaro Makapagal who had acted as secretary of the court martial will carry out Noriel's order of execution.

_I'm sorry, Clara._

_

* * *

_

Clara was already suspicious the second night they refused her entry to Bonifacio's tent.

"Sorry, Señorita Clara, but General Aguinaldo had prohibited visitors tonight. Please go back to your quarters, it is late." said the guard to her when she tried to bring in food to Andres as well as force him to let her clean his wounds.

"But last night you said tonight will be okay. What's going on here?" she glared at the poor guard.

The guard seemed nervous, "Please take your complaints to General Aguinaldo. I'm just following orders."

Clara huffed impatiently before turning to find Aguinaldo. The man is probably still in his office catching up on his work. Clara was aware of the military reverses Aguinaldo had been doing for the past few days. He was losing more and more battles as the revolution intensifies. The Spanish were surprisingly gaining more ground. She had a sneaking suspicion that her father was on the front lines again. She needed to resolve this mess as soon as possible so she could go help in the front lines.

She was walking in the hallway when she heard people approaching in the opposite direction. It was Daniel Tirona and some random Katipunero. She instantly hid herself in a dark corner and tried to wait until Tirona was out of sight. Really, there was no need to hide from Tirona, but the past few days that she was forced to be in his presence weren't pleasant experiences. It seems he held a grudge when she didn't stop Bonifacio from threatening to shoot him for the second time. Well, it's not like she missed any amount of attention from him.

"It's a good thing that incompetent fool is getting what he's been asking for at last. Let's celebrate, my friend. Tonight, the pretentious '_bodegero'_ dies!" Tirona laughed as he and his companion disappeared around the corner.

Clara was frozen in her corner. There was only one man in the world that Tirona hates more than anyone. But didn't Aguinaldo allow Bonifacio to live? When he told her to 'do as you wish', that meant he's not going to execute Andres anymore, right? Then why is Tirona saying that Andres will die tonight? Are they trying to keep everything a secret from her, the reason why they won't let her see Bonifacio anymore? Clara felt anger and hatred well up inside her. She fisted her hands and hit it against the wall behind her continuously. Not able to calm herself down, she stalked out of her hiding place, ignoring the stares she got from people who were loitering the hallway leading to Aguinaldo's office. She ignored Ricarte calling out her name and marched right into Aguinaldo's office, slamming the door open, startling Aguinaldo from his paper work.

Aguinaldo looked up from his work and right into the fuming girl slowly making her way towards him, with some of his generals following behind her. Ricarte was busily trying to get her to calm down but to no avail, Clara's attention was on Aguinaldo alone. He swallowed, "What can I do for you at this hour, Señorita Clara?" he remained seated, not really wanting to get within arms' reach of the girl.

"You lied to me! You said you're going to let him live! Where is he? Where did you take him?" she asked a bit shakily, she could feel restraining hands on her shoulders and arms but she just stood her ground. She knew it won't do her any good if she blows. Even in this situation, there are still some rules to upkeep.

No sound came from Aguinaldo. Clara sighed and looked up, the tears were coming again. "I really wanted to trust you, Aguinaldo. I really tried. But you're just not-," she trailed off when she saw the look on his face. He looks like he's also containing his anger too.

"What am I not, Clara? Go on, tell me." he said in a stern voice.

She could no longer stop her tears from falling. She bit her lip, looked anywhere but Aguinaldo's eyes and was reduced to sobbing briefly into her hands. She felt the hands on her arms and shoulders slowly fall. Finally, she looked back at Aguinaldo, red eyes meeting his cold ones, "You're not like him. You'll never be like him." She turned and fled the building.

The cold night air soothed her as she made her way to where the horses were fettered. She was no longer crying when she walked past the keeper of the horses and did not bother waking him up either from his slumber. She did not bother saddling the horse she picked. She just mounted on it and rode off. It was a wonder the keeper did not awoke when the horse whinnied. She was about to get out of the camp when Ricarte suddenly appeared in the way and she had to stop before she crushed him.

"Get away, Señor Ricarte. I wouldn't want to trample you." She said, trying to keep the calm in her voice. It was Ricarte after all. Even if he turned sides, he was still a man worth her respect.

"Am I to assume that you already know where to find him?" Ricarte answered plainly, his hands behind him, making him look like some kind of teacher.

Clara looked away, "No, but I'm certainly getting out of this hellhole." She let the horse move forward a few feet to get Ricarte to get out of her way.

Ricarte sighed and moved aside. "I tried to plead for his life but I failed. They took him to _Mt. Buntis_ in _Maragondon_ before sunset. I highly doubt you'd make it in time. It has been three hours already. Are you still going to find him at this hour?"

"It's been that long?!? I must get going. Goodbye, Señor Ricarte." She patted the horse.

"Wait, silly girl. At least take these with you. Are you planning to grope around in the dark?" He presented to her the knapsack he had been holding behind him the whole time. She reached out and took them. "There's a lamp, matches, and a gun and _bolo_ inside. No need to return them to me afterwards. I highly doubt we'd see each other soon." He gave her a reassuring smile and salute. "Take care of yourself, Señorita Clara."

Even if she really needed to get going, she jumped down from the horse and gave the middle-aged man a hug which he returned, "Thank you. Take care of yourself too, _lolo_. Thank you for trying to save Andres. I'd take my leave now." She gave him a smile before mounting back on the horse and kicking the horse into a full run.

"May the good Lord watch over you, Filipinas!" he called after her and waited until she was swallowed by the night.

"Oh no, someone stole a horse!" panted the keeper of the horses when he reached Ricarte.

Ricarte gave him a pat on the shoulder, "My good man, say anything about this and you'd be fired."

It was so dark she was finding it hard to see where she was going when all she could see were silhouettes. It was a cloudy night and she could practically see nothing when the moon gets covered by some cloud, not like the little light she could get from the moon was enough. She wanted to light the lamp in her knapsack but it's hard to keep balance in a horse with no saddle. She should have at least fitted a saddle to the horse. Good thing her skirts were thick or she would have been hurting so much right now.

She had already accepted the fact that there was no chance that she'd ever find Bonifacio alive. She had been too late. So what's the purpose of trying to find him in the dark when he's probably buried in a grave right now? It seems some part of her still seem to want to see his corpse for herself. Maybe for proper closure? To say sorry for being a dead weight to him and Jacinto? What could she possibly do anymore when she sees his dead body? Tear her eyes and hair out? Scream in anguish like she did when Rizal died? Why can't she just accept the fact that there was nothing more she can do for him? She can't save him like she would have wanted.

_Farewell, Clara. _

Had he known that would be the last time she'd see him alive? She's crying again. No, it was just because of the wind blasting in her face as she sped up that made her eyes hurt. There's no more reason to cry. She can't keep showing weakness like this whenever someone dies. She's in the middle of a fucking war, everyone she cares about fights in the war, how could she not expect them to die sooner or later? She had prepared herself to make sacrifices when she entered the front lines, when she had her own troops to lead. She shouldn't cry for Bonifacio when she had never cried for the thousand nameless others who had died before he did. They should have all been equal in her eyes, because all they could give her was their life, nothing more, nothing less than what Rizal, Andres, and a thousand others had. She realized she shouldn't have said those words to Aguinaldo. She should stop trying to find Andres in him. As much as she was angry at him, she resolved to apologize to him the next time they meet. He's her boss, they're bound to meet sooner or later, whether she wins or loses this battle.

After two hours, she was sure she had reached _Mt. Buntis_. She slowed down a bit to let the horse rest a little. She knew looking for a newly mounted grave or a corpse wouldn't be as easy as she thought it would be when she set out. Mountains are always huge and vast. Not to add the fact that it's also night time.

She let the horse walk along the beaten path used by the farmers living in the mountains to go down to the town of Maragondon to sell their produce. Now that she was here, she actually had no idea where to start searching. And it's scary. Back in the days before the colonization, she used to believe in _'aswang'_ and '_engkanto_', the so-called pagan creatures. But they were not make-belief, she had seen some of them, especially the elves and '_nuno_'. They were the first creatures she ever saw when she was born a really long time ago. She had lived among them before she found the first settlers from Asia. Her people had regressed from believing in them since the spread of Christianity in the islands.

After another thirty minutes, she could see a light ahead of her. It was a farmer on his carabao. What he's still doing out at this hour, she had no idea. She decided to ask if he'd seen a small procession of men going into the mountain.

It was just her luck when the farmer seemed to contemplate, it took some time but he answered, "No, but I did see about five men hacking someone in a hammock about a mile from here. I was passing by to go to my friend's funeral in his house up here when I saw them near the river from the road." He pointed to the river running down in the ravine on the other side of the road. "Just follow that. I didn't check where they put him. It wasn't such a pleasant sight to see. I was thinking not to go back tonight in case they ambush me but I promised my wife I'd get back tonight." The farmer explained quite happily, as if he never felt threatened at all.

Clara found it a bit odd but thanked him nonetheless. She tried giving him the gun Ricarte had given her in case the farmer is still wary of being ambushed. "Ah, no, no. The Guardia Civil always freeloads on our dinner table. If they find a gun at my house, they'd send me to jail. Be careful with that gun, señorita." He waved a dismissive hand and got moving, leaving her staring after him.

"Thank you, _ginoo_." She shouted after him before leading her horse down the slope on the side of the road to the river. If she follows the river, she might see where they killed Bonifacio.

She lit the lamp and used it to search for anything. Clothes, blood stains, anything that could tell her that humans have been there a bit earlier. She can't help but think back on what the farmer had said as she waded through the river; five men stabbing someone on a hammock. Someone too weak to even stand that he had to be carried on a hammock. Someone who had sustained wounds that were left untreated for days. And that someone is Bonifacio. She almost can't believe that the man she had spent the last six years of her life with had gone down like that.

When she was sure she had gone up a mile, she dismounted from the horse and started searching the ground. She used the lamp to illuminate the area, looking for mounds or anything. She didn't notice that she had gone a hundred more meters before she saw a rock stained with blotches of red. She raised her lamp and gasped in horror. There were two bodies a few feet in front of her, lying exactly at the place, where she supposed, they were killed. She went to the one closest to her. The corpse was lying on its stomach so she had to turn it over. It was cold like she had expected it to, and a little stiff. She looked at the face of the corpse. She recognized it as Bonifacio's brother, Procopio. She gently laid him back on the grass and called out in the dark in a shaky voice, "A-andres?!" she hurried over to the other body.

She stared at Bonifacio's mangled corpse, as if her brain and all her senses had stopped functioning. She had known she would just end up crying when she confirms his death, but she never expected that she'd be petrified that even the tears won't come. His clothes were crisp dry with blood. He was still in the hammock, not a limb out of it. He was lying perfectly, like he was just sleeping. She couldn't count the stabs that had killed him, she figured that even one would have done him in just the same. There was no need to stab him too much she could not even decipher spaces between the hacks. And his face, his normally creased eyebrows, were stretched out just fine. And his mouth, the one that used to scold her and Jacinto, were closed tight. Clara concluded, with just a little more effort, he would have died with a smile on his face. In death, the man looked as regal as he did when she first met him.

"What a face you have in death, Andres. If I had known earlier, I would have teased you about it." she looked at the cloudy sky while tapping her foot on the ground like she did when she was getting impatient, but right now, she just wanted to do that, Andres did it too when Jacinto was exceedingly clingy to her, "What the hell am I supposed to do again now? I guess I just don't have luck with men. It's either they're my father, lives somewhere far, or dies on me. Why can't anybody stay on my side as long as I want them to? I know I don't act like the average Filipina, but I do try sometimes, because I've been told to, mind you, but that can't be the reason, could it? I'm starting to speak nonsense again just to keep myself occupied with other things and then I'd proceed to deny the fact that you've died and I'm all alone. I don't even have any idea as to why I even tried finding you, but seeing that they didn't even have the decency to bury you, it's a good thing I did."

"How do you feel about my half-assed eulogy? This is the only funeral available at this moment, Andres. I'm sorry I'm the only one attending. I honestly don't know how I'll find Jacinto after this. Did I ever tell how much I'll miss you and the father figure I have built in you?" she looked repentantly at his corpse and fell to the ground on her bottom, hugging her knees close to her like she always did when she felt like hiding but had no other means to, and buried her face in the fold of her arms.

"I bet you've also felt that I was looking for my father in you, because you also started treating me like a daughter halfway there. You showed me the love you could have given to your own child. I'm not your real daughter, and we both know that I'd return to my own father once this war is over. That's the reason I loved you. You've enriched my life far more than anybody could have. You treated me as your own but never bound me. You gave me a taste of the freedom I yearned for. There were no restrictions, maybe a few rules that were always overlooked because of some idiot we both know, and lots and lots of different people, with different lives, different stories to tell, lives to lead, and different choices, too."

"This is the life I chose on my own, right? But why is everything still so wrong? I still keep making the same mistakes no matter how hard I try to avoid them." she looked at him, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. "God, I'm so useless."

She stopped talking for a few minutes, listening to the crickets, the frogs, the night owls and flow of the river, breathing into the cup of her own hands.

"There were so many things I wish I had told you and many more that I wish you would be there so I could tell you as it happens so you'd know just how much I like it when you listen to me. I love you, Andres. As a friend, as a daughter and as your country. The country you had fought for and died for. I'd make this country the nation you had dreamed of." She stared at his face for a long time before she stood up and started collecting branches, leaves and twigs and piling them on top of the two corpses. She kept the two apart so she could put their ashes in separate plots.

By midnight, the corpses were on fire. She had used the gas inside the lamp to spread the fire faster, consuming the corpses as the cold mountain breezes fanned them higher. Clara sat on top of the horse which was standing on a shallower part of the river, watching the whole proceeding, not minding the scorching heat, the smoke and the cold winds. She kept her eyes on the corpses as the fire slowly ate at them. She felt her heart clenching as the fires fully consumed Andres.

_Hey, Andres, do you think Rizal went to heaven?_

_I don't think so…you've listened to a friar have mass before, right? Only Spaniards could go to heaven. Indios have a stopover in purgatory before we go straight to hell._

_Hahahahaha...what do you think heaven looks like?_

_A place…like my country._

"I wonder if a place like that can exist down here. That place humans call 'heaven'." she whispered.

As morning rolled on, the fires have gone down to embers, and the bodies were gone. Clara collected the remains and buried them in shallow graves because she only had the _bolo _and her bare hands to work with after all. She said a little prayer before putting the soil back in each grave and marking it with twigs and stones.

"Farewell, Andres."

She mounted her horse and started her search for Jacinto.

* * *

**Historical facts: Argh…I won't be writing this anymore, it's tiring. I hope you know that not all things are accurate when Hetalia-fied. So when in doubt, consult a historical book. Cause we're all grown up here, I bet you could read a good historical book. I try hard to keep to the facts, though. So don't worry much. **


	11. And she was back there again

She was a dream. She was a reflection. She was everything that girl could have been.

She was born from grief. Of everything that girl feared. Of every tear that girl had shed.

In her world, everything revolved around that girl who bore the same resemblance as her. She had longed since the beginning to touch her, to be with her, to ease her pains, to make that girl turn her way. But they were separated by this borderline she could not cross. No matter how much she cried, begged, and screamed, the girl on the other side never looked at her. And so time passed and she was forced to watch as that girl suffered.

There was no one else in the world for her except that girl. And every time that girl's heart aches, so does her own. They were connected by something far beyond her comprehension. They share the same pains, same feelings. So she hated anybody who hurt that girl.

And there were so many of them. That girl's father was the first one. He had killed far too many people that girl loved. Next was the blond guy who had lied to her. That girl never really got over that. He had manipulated and made that girl fall in love with him so much even if she always ended up hurt because of it. She hated him the most for that. He did not deserve any amount of love from that girl. Especially when he was always the cause of that girl's miseries.

And then an intruder made that girl go through so much pain and torture before that girl died. She wanted to kill the black haired jerk who allowed it to happen and the blond guy for not being there when that girl screamed for help when he had sworn he would return soon.

She hated them all. Every one who made that girl cry deserved to die. That girl was her goddess, the only person in her world, therefore the most special one to her. They had no right to treat that girl like some trash, to cast her aside when they've finished using her. She'd kill every one of them for daring to hurt what was hers.

For a long time she just watched the events in that girl's life. She loved that girl all the more. Her beautiful face, her kind personality, her pleasant smiles and captivating nature.

Until one day, as she stood as close as she could to the borderline, she saw that girl looking right back at her. Her face was solemn and her face was bloody. There were chains on her wrists and ankles. She noticed that they were in a dark room where the only light came from a crack in the ceiling. She scowled distastefully at the condition that girl was in. Who dared put her in another place like this? It was just like back in the war. She cursed whoever brought that girl there. And then that girl smiled at her.

She flinched, which was quite an unusual reaction for someone who had wanted to be noticed all her life by the person in front of her. So she straightened her self out and tried to get as close as she can to that girl. She loved how that girl could still find contentment in her condition. She knew that girl was hurting so much right now. That girl stared at her with those bloodshot eyes of hers. How long had she wanted for them to also see right through her as it did many other undeserving people? She tried to reach out a hand beyond the borderline, and much to her surprise, her hand did not hit an invisible wall like it did the last thousand times she had tried to go over the limits. She was so happy she cried. Finally! After so much longing, she could finally reach out to her. So she wasted no time in throwing herself into that girl's body and hugging her close.

_I'm so happy I could finally touch you!_

"I'm sorry." that girl answered. She thinks that girl tried to hug her back if it weren't for the chains on her wrists.

_It's okay. Everything will be alright._

"I could not do it." that girl said in a tired voice as her eyes slowly flickers, trying to keep her self awake.

She did not hesitate even for a second for her answer_. I'd do anything for you._

When she woke up, the blond guy was hovering over her and she was instantly filled with hatred for the man. For all the pain he had put that girl through. She'd protect that girl from every thing that tarnishes her happiness. From every one that crosses her path. She'd eliminate all of them for the sake of that one promise.

Pilipinas will win.

* * *

Vietnam rose in her seat and paced the room again before going back to her seat and repeating the same routine again. Thailand just kept on his never-fading smile and just watched his neighbor burn a hole in his carpet with her pacing. Not that he wanted her to stop or anything. He's very much afraid of what would happen if Vietnam snaps at him. But maybe she could end up showing him what she's been learning at Muay Thai these past few months. But that would certainly be a painful experience so he just kept his mouth shot and waited for Vietnam to break her own ice.

But then again, he's Thailand and he couldn't keep quiet about things that needed to be said, "Why don't you just sit back and relax and enjoy your last war-free days before they're all gone, ana?" he gulped down his already cold tea and dared at the at Vietnam who was staring at him. She was pacing when he said that so she was left standing at the spot in front of him.

"Did you just say 'relax'?" she raised an eyebrow at him, looking like he just said a word that is not in her vocabulary.

Thailand pushed his tea cup further into the table, "Yes. I want you to relax and stop pacing a hole in my carpet, ana~," he tried to cover up with a cheerful tone so she won't sense his welling up feeling of dread. From the looks of it, Vietnam was close to exploding with pent-up stress.

She sighed in exasperation, "Sorry about that, Thai. I'm just trying to figure out Philippines' next actions and where she's planning to go with all the mess she's creating." Vietnam said, plopping back on her seat next to Thailand.

Thailand put his hands around hers and sat closer to her, "You see, we haven't openly declared war against her and yet you're already bothering yourself with all that stuff. Cool off a little, this may not escalate into an all out war. The United Nations did not sanction Philippines' attack on Malaysia, ana."

Vietnam looked at his carefree expression. She had no idea when they started being this comfortable with each other but what the heck, being with him mellows her down when she's frazzled up with world affairs and everything that comes with being a nation. "I'm worried about what she's doing to Malaysia. His soldiers had said that they saw her shoot and drag him away. His president told me they hadn't seen him since then. Public moral was on all time low in his place ever since Malaysia was captured."

Thailand's smile fell and he frowned, "I still cannot believe that she'd purposely hurt her brother. She's changed a lot, that kid." His hold on Vietnam's hand tightened. _I won't let her get a chance to take anyone close to me, not this time._

"I know, right? She's changed a lot. And I just remembered something weird when we visited her in the hospital. I helped one of the nurses change her bandages once and I saw her wounds. There were so many." she related to him.

Thailand knotted his eyebrows in confusion, "Well, it's a sad thing that she really did have so many, but what could possibly make them weirder than their unwanted presence on her, ana?"

Vietnam stood up and started pacing again, "We are not humans. Superficial injuries like cuts, bruises and scrapes heal within a maximum of a week for us, bone injuries about two weeks. If my memory serves me right, I helped that nurse at least two weeks after she was found."

Thailand cocked his head to the side, "And so, ana?"

Vietnam sat back next to him, "The wounds were still fresh, they barely even dried or scabbed or anything. They were still raw! Even human wounds would dry into scabs by that time. She's healing even slower than a human! And her wounds were mostly shallow cuts and scrapes, they should have been gone by the time we even visited her because she spent three days in a hospital in Palawan before they recognized her and transferred her to Manila."

"Where are you going with this?"

"I'm just saying…no, more like wondering…do we lose our status as personifications of nations?"

"I don't know. Why don't you ask that boisterous albino guy, ana?"

"No…not the status _as a nation_, I mean, _as the personification of a nation_…do we get changed from time to time?"

Thailand shrugged, "I don't really know, Vie." he took a sip of his tea. "Why don't you ask her directly, she's very bold these past few days anyway, ana,"

Vietnam shook her head, "No. I'd probably lose my patience with her again." she narrowed her eyes at Thailand, "And even she knows we're against her, what makes you think she'd be even fit for conversation? That girl is planning to invade us right this very moment! We must be vigilant!"

Thailand smiled at her and patted her comfortingly in the shoulder, "Don't worry. I'm-" he was cut off by the door to his office being thrown open and in came a livid Brunei.

Both were a bit surprised at her sudden appearance since both were aware that the girl had barricaded herself in her room for the past few days while her nation was panicking about the proximity of Philippines' attack on Malaysia. Nevertheless, Vietnam hurried over to Brunei and ushered her inside. Thailand handed her a cup of hot tea when she had situated herself and made herself comfortable between Thailand and Vietnam, "I just learned about the attack on Malaysia and I rushed over here as soon as I heard you were allying yourselves with him." she said weakly. If anyone were to look at the three of them now with Thailand and Vietnam huddled over the younger girl like that, you'd think they are a distressed family trying to comfort each other.

Vietnam looked over Brunei's appearance. The normally well-dressed girl was wearing her clothes like she just wore them for the sake of not going out indecent, hair in tangles, skin pale and she seriously look like she's lacking some nutrients right now. "Have you been eating your meals at all?"

Brunei shook her head, "I lose my appetite every time I think about…about that wretched meeting!" and she proceeded to sob, "I can't take it!" she put down her cup, curled into a ball and leaned towards Vietnam who felt compelled to put her arms around the younger nation, "I can't forget the look on her face when I touched her. What did I do wrong?! I was just worried!"

Vietnam patted her head reassuringly and glared at Thailand when he just sipped his tea and smiled apologetically, "You're not expecting me to hug her too, are you, ana?" he said in a low voice.

"Then say something! Comfort was never really my forte! And that's saying something because I'm a woman and France used to be all over my place!" Vietnam mouthed back.

Thailand twitched irritably at the mention of France and it was a good thing Vietnam did not see, "Well, I'm a man! Oh wait, I got an idea!" Thailand hurriedly put down his tea cup, cleared his throat, and said in his softest voice, "Don't cry, _sayang._ Philippines must just be having a phase. It would pass soon, don't dwell on it too much, ana." He hoped he didn't stress his Malay accent much. It was a different language after all.

Brunei stopped sobbing and regressed to quiet sniffles. "But what about what she did to Malaysia? He's always been a jerk to me but I don't want him to die...yet!"

"About that, we're working on getting him home safely. In a few days you could see him again, I promise." Vietnam said.

Brunei looked down at the floor, "You're both not on really good terms with Malaysia and yet you're helping him. You too, your governments aren't really the best of friends but you're all helping each other and cooperating now. Even Laos who is politically in bad terms with Thailand is siding with you. What's happening to us?"

"We've…found ourselves threatened by a common enemy, _sayang_. So we decided to put aside our own differences and unite. It is rather unfortunate that it had to be against one of our own, but we'll have to do whatever we can to secure peace for our people so we have to defend each other." Thailand smiled at her warmly. Brunei nodded her head. She understood that. They were just doing their duties as countries. She suddenly wondered if her best friend was doing this as a country and not personally.

"I understand. If I could be of any help, just inform me. My sultan forced me out of my room this morning so I could tell you that. My apologies for being such a damn wreck about this stuff, I guess I was just shocked that Philippines suddenly does not like me anymore."

"It's okay, _sayang_. We'd do our best so you won't have to join the war. We'd stop Clara...at all cost." Thailand reassured her with a pat on the head.

Brunei nodded again and sat properly on the couch, "Just don't hurt Clara too much…after all, she's my best friend. I'm sure she has her reasons for doing this. I just wish she told me first."

* * *

"Russia! Russia! Ivan! IVAN!!!!!!!" Philippines yelled. She can't be lost. No, there is no house that could be that big! She's always been good with directions, so why in the hell was she walking in circles, calling for Ivan in the middle of a dark hallway?

Okay, she went out of her room to get herself some water which was in the kitchen on the ground floor. Her room was in the third floor of Ivan's huge mansion which seems like he built the house to consume as much space as it could on his vast empty land.

She stomped down another dark hallway calling for China and Ivan when a door opened a few feet from her. She stopped and waited for the occupant to show himself. As far as she knew, there were only three of them in the house right now. Or she could be wrong, who knows what the Russian was keeping in his house.

A woman with long silver hair in a blue dress with a white apron came out with a creepy expression on her face. "Why are you looking for my brother, you bitch?" and suddenly there was a knife in front of her and she was advancing slowly towards Philippines.

Philippines stared, 'I didn't know Ivan has a sister. She's pretty. And I didn't know his sister's staying here.'

So she smiled and held out her hand for the other girl, "Hi! My name is Philippines! I'm your brother's…ahm…" what exactly are they? Allies? No, Philippines has some other plans for him. Friends? Like allies, she has some plans about him that weren't exactly friendly in nature. Acquaintances? No, far closer than that. Then maybe playmates? The two of them certainly plays the same game. "Playmates! We're playmates! Well, what's your—ah! Watch it!," she stepped back a bit when the silver-haired girl suddenly swung the knife in front of her, ripping the knot at the front of her robe but not quite slashing her flesh. "Hey! What's your prob-gah!," she stepped back again when another swing narrowly missed her.

"How dare you play with my brother, you whore! I'm going to rip your guts out!" Belarus lunged at Philippines again. How dare this girl seduce her innocent brother! Who does she think she is taking her brother's love from her! Oh..this girl is really going to get it.

"Wait! What are we talking about here?!?" Philippines cried as she ran for her life back to where she had been minutes ago. Shit, it's a good thing the mansion was huge so she had so many places to run into.

"You seduced my brother, you freak! Brother is going to marry me!" Belarus ran after Philippines.

"I so did not do that! I swear! So stop-ahhhhhhh!!," Belarus swung her knife again and this time it caught the back of Philippines' robe. She abruptly turned a corner and slipped on the marble. The remnants of the robe fell off her shoulder and she was left sitting on the floor. Damn, it was so cold. She can't wait for her flight back to the tropics tomorrow.

Belarus found her sprawled on the floor and without a second thought, lunged her knife at the downed girl. Philippines slid backwards on the floor and avoided the swings until she could finally scramble back to her feet and run. The girl was as insane as her brother.

"I'll make you wish you've never been born, you brother-stealer!" Belarus hissed.

Philippines stopped running and turned around to see Belarus running towards her with the knife poised to attack again.

"Did you just say that?" she asked in a rather calm voice for someone who's been running for her life seconds ago.

"I'm going to kill--," in the blink of an eye, Belarus was thrown to the ground with Philippines on top of her trying to pin down her arms. There was an insane look in her eyes and the girl was smiling. Belarus felt her wrist break and she let go of the knife. Philippines snatched it away immediately and held it at Belarus' neck, pushing it until it left a red mark.

Belarus stopped struggling and threw a murderous glare at the girl hovering above her. Philippines looked mental. "When I tell little girls to stop, they should stop. Now, about making me wish I wasn't born, if you try that again, I assure you," Philippines put enough pressure to make Belarus bleed. "Your head will roll. Don't force me to destroy this pretty little face of yours." She then traced Belarus' smooth face with the tip of the knife, "I'm sure brother Ivan would not want to marry a grotesque." She whispered close to Belarus' ear. "You have no idea _what _you're dealing with, little girl."

Never had Belarus hated another person. The nerve of this girl to touch her. She'd murder this girl in her sleep! "Keep away from my brother, he's mine!" she spat.

"Still not stopping, eh?" Philippines was about to say something when she heard voices nearing their spot. She recognized the voices as her fellow allied nations.

Philippines giggled and got off the girl who then rolled on her side and stood up. With the knife still in her grasp, Philippines held it away from anyone's view. Belarus glared hard at her but did not say anything when she saw her brother.

"Ah! Bela! Ahm…what are you doing here?" Ivan tried his best to inch away from the girl and hide his body behind China's smaller one which was not really providing any help.

"As soon as I heard your plans, I rushed over here to become one with you, brother. Let's get married while you have plenty of time, brother." Belarus said in her normal voice.

This time, Russia and China felt shivers run up their spines at the prospect of marriage with Belarus. China inched away from Ivan and went over to Philippines who was standing a few feet behind Belarus with a mischievous smile on her face. China looked over the younger girl's thin clothes which barely covered half of her thighs. He sighed and put his own robe over the cold girl. He's used to the cold so he could do with only his bedclothes.

"Thanks, Uncle China. I was just thinking of going to your room."

"What were you doing with Belarus, aru?"

"Belarus, huh? We're just exchanging pleasantries, I just wish I made a nice first impression." The two walked away from the scene, leaving Ivan at the hands of his loving sister who totally forgot everyone else at the presence of her brother.

"YAO!!!" Ivan screamed for help.

China sighed. Ivan was a big guy. Why can't he learn to handle his sister on his own? So he ignored Ivan's pleas for help and proceeded towards his room with Philippines.

China pushed his door open and let the girl inside before giving one last look towards Ivan's direction and seeing that the man is yet to get out of his predicament and seemed like he's losing more and more marbles by the second, China sighed and nodded towards Ivan's direction at Philippines. The girl smiled and just sat comfortably on his bed. China closed the door after him.

Philippines sat on the bed and looked around China's room. Like her room, there were many empty spaces due to the few but elegant and rich furniture. She got to her feet on the velvet carpeted floor and examined the paintings and about every thing she could set her eyes on until she came upon a huge rectangular mirror hanging on the wall. _Belarus did not harm me, right? _She passed in front of the mirror with just a glance at her reflection. And for that one second, she had never feared anything greater.

She stopped and stared in horror at her reflection. It was and wasn't hers at the same time. She screamed.

_No! You can't be! I've just started! Don't look at me like that! I'm doing my best for you! You're supposed to be dead!_

In a blind fit of rage, she struck the handle of the knife she was holding against the mirror which instantly broke and fell to the floor when she repeatedly hit it. Afterwards, she sank down on the floor in a fit of sobs.

_I only did it because I loved you. You said you need me. You gave me no choice._

The door of the room opened and in came a slightly bruised China and a harassed but relieved Russia. China's eyes instantly fell on Philippines and he rushed over to get her out of the broken mess. She was bleeding.

"Ma'i, what happened?!? Here, let's get you to the couch aru," he said before carrying the sobbing girl into the nearby couch where Ivan had situated himself, the smile on his face back with a vengeance.

China went to the bathroom to get the first aid kit.

Ivan scooted closer to the sobbing who seemed to be unaware that her knees down to her feet were bleeding with some pieces of glass still stuck to it.

"My, my, Philippines…what do you think you've been doing without me?" he forced her hands away from her eyes and made her face him. "What were you doing with Belarus' knife, da?"

"I'm sorry…I'm sorry." Philippines whimpered.

Ivan's smile fell. She wasn't saying that at him. Philippines was not looking at him.

He was going to heckle her further when Yao came back into the room and asked him to help him clean Philippines' other leg. He'll teach her to look at him again some other day.

* * *

Two days after Philippines came back to her country, everything was in chaos. An earthquake with a magnitude of 7.0 struck central Luzon, bringing larger damages to crops and loss of about 3, 000 lives. The earthquake was the first of the last 5 major earthquakes that hit the country in the next 5 years.

Since 2010, the country had moved up from a third-world country to a fully-industrialized one. Since the start of the new president's term, corruption dropped at an increasing rate until the rate equaled Singapore's. The country rose from poverty to its former grandeur. Since investors started trusting the country's government more, more money poured into the nation, generating millions of jobs and alleviating the condition of its populace. Less and less professionals needed to work abroad, therefore, health care, domestic works, and education boomed in the country. Less than a fifth of the population is still living in extreme poverty. Since Philippines had gone up in the world, crime rates had decreased due to less people going into hunger and resorting to crimes. Since the government was finally just and respectable, politics ceased to be called 'dirty'. Citizens trusted in the government, improved their lives and helped themselves. Discipline was widely implemented and accepted. The year now is 2015.

Philippines looked over the summary report of the earthquake. Damage exceeded a hundred million in pesos. Relief was being provided for by the government and concerned citizens. She breezed through the content again and put it on top of her paper work before going up to the window of the office she was in at the Congress. She's scheduled to listen to her President's State of the Nation address before going Clark Air Base herself. It would be boring to just sit there and listen to him justify their war against Malaysia so that protesters would shut up. Not everyone was supporting the war. Legislation was divided as well as other parts of the government. But they'll have to join, they've already attacked, retaliation was inevitable.

Because there were already many pressing issues inside the country, what's the point of creating conflict outside too? Indeed, natural calamities were made more frequent since 2009. Storms, Hurricanes, Tsunamis, Earthquakes, Volcanism…everything seemed to be happening all at the same time that the government finds it hard where to focus first or whom to save first.

Philippines stared at the grasslands surrounding the congress, the plants were slowly dying. Was it really supposed to be this hot in the country? Summer has barely started and they were already frying up.

Out of the blue, her cellphone started ringing. She read the text twice before grabbing her things and making her way out of the building. Once in the lobby, she was met by her personal guards and escorted to her waiting car. "I'm going home. Tell the president I won't be meeting him until tomorrow. Reschedule my flight to Clark until…say two days from now." she said to her aide before driving out.

She needed to be by his side. Malaysia is finally awake.

**

* * *

**

**May 17, 1997 – December 27, 1997**

Clara bent her head low, almost plunging it into the mud, and pretended to be too busy planting rice seedlings to even look up to see who's walking by the dirt road a few meters from her. Spanish guardia civil seem to be more vigilant now that the town was finally back in their power.

The death of Bonifacio was still fresh in her mind and Aguinaldo's angry expression still plaguing her. She had said too much to him. Maybe a week ago she could have had a chance to go back and apologize for her immaturity to him, but it seems that Aguinaldo had thrown himself into battle after battle, and sadly, he lost them all. Just today, the whole of Cavite fell under Spanish control again. Clara needed to get out too, and possibly, along the way, bump into Jacinto and tell him what's happened in case he'd been told some lies.

She stood up straight when the Spanish guardia civil had passed and continued her conversation with the farmer beside her. She had known him from her days with Jacinto when they fought in the war. The Katipunero who had commented about something concerning Jacinto and his carabao, she was only half-listening at that time, she can't be sure. The Katipunero had gone back to his rice fields to become a farmer again after Bonifacio was executed by the government.

Clara understood his choice to quit the revolution. Bonifacio's death had demoralized some Katipuneros who were loyal to him which eventually led to them losing faith in Aguinaldo's government and consequently quitting the revolution. That's probably why she's having a hard time catching up with Jacinto for he, along with Macario Sakay refused to subject their military commands under Aguinaldo.

"Where are you going after here, señorita? You could stay with my family as long as you want. Nobody in this small town would ever turn you in." the ex-katipunero offered.

Clara stretched her tired back and looked sideways, "It's a long journey to reach Jacinto, and I can't impose on anyone for too long, the Spaniards had heightened their search for me because they think I'm stirring up a whole lot of trouble for them. I must be on my way now. _Salamat po_, _manong_." She trudged back to the hut to wash her feet before she got heckled by the children living there.

"Ate Clara, stay with us forever! Oh please," one of the little girls pleaded.

Clara smiled sadly at them before giving in to a group hug, "I'll be gone for a while, be good children, okay? Take care of yourselves. Ate Clara has lots of things to do so she can't stay here. But if I promise to come back, will you let me go?" she asked.

The children nodded, "We'll be waiting with your favorite _tinola _so hurry and come back."

"I'll be on my way," she said before climbing onto her horse and kicking it into the full run into the direction of the forest trails again.

These days, Clara can't seem to shake this feeling of foreboding that's been bothering her for quite some time now. It's as if something bad is going to happen soon, not only to her but to her people too. She feared greatly that it would be irreversible, that there would be no way to steer clear of it. Not when every defense she had built up was weakening. Clara could not deny it anymore. Ever since Bonifacio died, the revolution was suffering. Fighters were leaving and courage was depleting, resolve was wavering. Aguinaldo may have unified the majority of the revolutionary forces under his government, but it was significantly weakened by the process. Judging from his continuous reverses, it wouldn't take long for the Spaniard's to gain back the upper hand.

She dreaded what would happen if they reach a stalemate.

Clara shook the thoughts from her mind. This is no time to worry. She needed to find Jacinto. And fight.

* * *

In July 1897 Aguinaldo's forces are driven from Cavite to Bulacan where Aguinaldo declares his constitution and establishes the Republic of Biak-na-Bato. Clara was aware of the reinstatement of a government by Aguinaldo and had planned to go there to look into the proceedings when she found Jacinto two weeks later in Nueva Ecija, along with Macario Sakay.

"_Susmaryosep_, CLARA!!!"

Jacinto had been ecstatic when Clara breeched his camp calling for him. He's so thankful that she's safe. When she didn't come back for a month, Jacinto had half a mind to fetch her himself but was held back by Sakay. Aguinaldo's men had just murdered Bonifacio. They might take Jacinto's action as a rebellion against them.

Jacinto knocked over the table he was dining in with Sakay in his rush to get up and meet Clara. Sakay forgave his friend for the spilled food and smiled as his friend hoisted Clara out of the horse and gave her a bone-crushing hug even if the girl was beating him because of it. Jacinto had been so worried about Andres and Clara since they were taken from their camp in Indang. Everyday and every hour that passed, all Jacinto could ever think of was the two. Even when he was beaten up badly when Sakay found him in the woods behind the camp, Jacinto was grumbling about following Clara. The guy sure was serious about his endeavors.

"Let go, Jacinto! This is highly inappropriate! You can't do these things so openly!" the girl whined in her best efforts to make the young man obey her. She felt so safe being near him that she almost wanted to sink on the ground and let go of all the tension and anxiety that she had accumulated during her weeks alone. Bickering with Jacinto was the closest thing she had at reliving the days with Bonifacio. She really wished Andres was there to separate the two of them yet again.

"No no no! You got me so worried!" Jacinto grinned. He noticed that she was not _pushing_ him away despite her complaints and constant beatings. He knew then that Clara had missed him too and her blatant rejection of him was just conditioned response.

Sakay smiled weakly. And so did every Katipunero present who was watching the scene. Jacinto looked so relieved and happy at the sight of their nation. For the past few weeks since Bonifacio was captured and then the news of his death, Jacinto had been like a shadow of his usual self. It was like the man had lost himself amidst everything that's happening around him. Waiting really is painful. Especially when you're waiting for the people you care for the most. Every little bit of news could make waiting worth it or not.

Sakay righted the overturned table and asked for more food, then he walked over to the two and detached them, Jacinto grumbled curses and Clara looked like she was getting weak in the knees. "Come and talk about it over lunch, you two. Señorita looks like she could use some food right now." Sakay said as he pulled the two towards table being laden with food.

When Clara just breezed through her prayers and quickly dug into the food, Jacinto knew better than to disturb her. Last time he saw her eat this fast, she had just gone through something so tiring and tension-filled. Clara sometimes ate to relieve herself of stress. When she was done eating she was asleep before the other two men at the table could even question her.

"I wonder how scared she was when she's traveling alone all this time. You'd think Spaniards were ambushing her every now and then." Jacinto wondered, picking up Clara's sleeping body and deciding to let her sleep in his tent since the one for her was not done yet.

Sakay nodded and looked at the peaceful expression on his sleeping nation's face. He couldn't explain it but seeing her like that fueled his courage, an irresistible desire to preserve her peaceful expression like the smile on her lips. Like he had been sworn to protect her the moment he signed over his life in blood for the Katipunan. He looked at the soft expression on Jacinto's face as he tucked the nation beneath the covers. Sakay smiled,_ this man had given more than his life for this._

The two took their seats on a table inside the tent a few feet from the bed where Clara lay sleeping. Jacinto still can't have enough of the sight of Clara, like he's using her presence to comfort himself over his losses. Watching over Clara, being at her side, even with Andres gone, was the only thing he could do for his deceased friend. Like a promise…a pledge he'll keep for his whole life.

"It's dangerous ground you're treading on, my friend. I can't have you going over to the other side yet." Sakay said out of the blue, snapping Jacinto's concentration on watching Clara.

"What are you talking about? I won't die. I won't let myself die until I'm sure Clara is in good hands, I won't depart without a fight." Jacinto answered.

"That's my point exactly. As much as we need brave men here, I don't want you treating your life as nothing compared to hers. You can't always protect her, Jacinto. She had been here before us and she'd still be here even after we have all died." Sakay looked at the younger man with worry etched on his face, "I'm telling you, give your heart to someone else. I don't want you leaving us because of a broken heart."

"Who I give my heart to is my personal business. And besides, there has been nobody else." Jacinto looked back at him with a sad look, "My heart has been hers even before I met her. It's something I just had no control of. Everything in my life had been done for her sake. How could my life not end up revolving around her when she's been the center of it since I was born?!"

Sakay stared at him in confusion, "What have you been drinking, my friend?"

Jacinto glared at Sakay before covering his face with his hands and setting his elbows on the table, "I have not been drinking, bastard. I'm just saying 'back off, shithead', that kind of thing." Jacinto moved some of his fingers to glance at Sakay who was gaping at him, "Just joking."

Sakay sighed. Sometimes Jacinto just asks for a thorough beating. "Really, you could be so annoying sometimes."

Jacinto chuckled and put down his hands on the table, "Yeah, I've been told. If I weren't such a damn good friend to Andres I bet he'd kicked me out of the revolution the moment I met Clara. Damn, he didn't let me live that down for the better part of our days." He chuckled at the memories that flooded him at the thought.

Before Sakay could say something, a soldier interrupted and brought them some kind of manifesto that he said 'had been circulating around in town'. It was called the Malabar manifesto.

"What the hell is that fucking Aguinaldo doing now?!" Jacinto slammed his fist on the table in anger after he read the contents of the manifesto. Surely this was the work of that coward. No one else caters to the Spaniards like this. Oh…if killing the damn rich bastard had been on Bonifacio's list, Jacinto would have made sure he'll be the one to carry it out even if he had to beg for it. The goddamn son of a bitch didn't know what he's costing everyone. Just because he had proven that he could get rid of everything in his way to power doesn't mean he could just by-pass all of their opinion and create such a manifesto that speaks for the revolutionary forces in general. The bastard must have forgotten that 'not all' of the revolutionaries are serving him.

"Well, based on this, it seems he's afraid of head-on collision. Do you think it has something to do with the increase in power of the Spaniards?" Sakay asked without looking up from the piece of paper in his hands, "Hmmn…shift to guerilla warfare and ambuscades so that the rebel forces could thus for an indefinite period, defy Spain, exhaust his resources and oblige him to surrender from poverty…have you seen the girl's father? If I weren't vying to defeat him, I'd think this is very funny."

"The traitorous, conniving, murderous, cowardly fucking son of a bitch…I'm so going to throttle him when I see him…fucking idiot…I _hate_ him." Jacinto grumbled, crumpling the manifesto in his hands.

Sakay raised an eyebrow, "Are we going to tell your little Señorita about this? This is an important development after all." Sakay asked after he read through the contents. It did make his blood boil if it's really meant to insinuate what he's already suspecting it does.

Jacinto stopped fuming and snapped his head at Clara's sleeping figure, she hasn't awaken yet amidst his noise, "No, this has nothing to do with us and with her as well. Let the coward hide, I'm not following his examples."

"If anything, I think we should tell Clara. If my hunches are correct, she'd be surrendered to the Spaniards without her consent and an extensive manhunt would occur."

Jacinto sighed, "Not yet. She's just been put down by her own countrymen, give her some more time to recover, then I'll tell her myself."

* * *

But even as the people fought against all odds in many provinces and despite Aguinaldo's own call to engage in protracted guerilla warfare, and notwithstanding the grandiose plans for a Biak-na-Bato republic and constitution, Aguinaldo had already entered negotiations with the enemy as early as August that year. Both Spain and Aguinaldo's new republic had realized that the situation had become a no-win for either side.

In manner of all colonialists, the Spaniards alternatively used a policy of attraction and a policy of repression. After the fall of Imus earlier that year, they had been issuing amnesties which had been ignored by the majority of the population. Subsequently, Primo de Rivera, the newest governor-general, changed the amnesty offer after the Spanish reclaimed Cavite, he gave other inducements such as pardons for minor offenders, return of exiled patriots and lifting of embargo of properties of suspected revolutionaries.

There had been attempts of mediation too even before the fateful Tejeros convention like the one made by the Jesuit Father Pio Pi. Bonifacio at that time suspected that Aguinaldo was considering this offer but the latter evidently shied away from dealing with a Spanish negotiator. Then five months later Pedro Paterno, a prominent Chinese mestizo lawyer, helped his case.

"I can take Biak-na-bato. Any army can capture it. But I cannot end the rebellion." was what the governor-general said and he proffered the olive branch of peace to the revolutionaries at the start of negotiations.

At that time Clara had been kept unaware of the negotiations between Spain and Aguinaldo's government. She kept fighting alongside her people, aiding the injured and just about all the duties she had undertaken since actively she joined the war.

Jacinto and Sakay had kept close watch on the proceedings of the negotiations and as its definite consequences became clearer to the both of them, Jacinto finds telling Clara more and more difficult. How could he tell her that her boss and government are planning to sell her back to the Spaniards as she toiled in the battlefields for them? She would be hurt and would beat herself up again and they both knew she's focusing her mind on what's in front of her than what's already happened.

But still, as Jacinto sat outside his tent, resting after another bloody battle, thinking about what he could say to at least minimize the effect of what's he's supposed to say to her, he knew that he couldn't put this off any longer. The more he waited, the graver the matter seemed to get. He knew Clara was not a child anymore. But she had always been weak to these things. Probably because of the traumatic past experiences and many deaths at her expense. The girl's only good at pretending she's alright when she's not. And sometimes when she just couldn't take it anymore, she becomes as fragile as she looks. She's probably convinced herself that she's strong enough. She was brave, yes she is. But she was weak. Really weak.

"Oh there you are, I was just wondering where you've been. Were you injured today as well?" Clara said behind him, making Jacinto turn to look at her. He shook his head 'no' before scooting a bit to make room for her at the bench. "Thank God." She sat next to him and let out a deep breath as she wiped her hands with a clean cloth. "I have been working on the medical wards for seven hours straight. Ahh…" she stretched her tired limbs.

Jacinto just looked quietly at her which Clara took as odd because he'd usually tease her now or narrate his battle blow by blow to her right now. "Did you get hit in the head or something? You're definitely weird." she asked, grinning at him teasingly. When he just stared at her, she nudged him in the shoulder. "Did you take some weird medicine or something? I always told you not to overdose."

"No…I just-…ahm…how would you react if you learn that all these fights were just being used as kind of…leverage for a negotiation or something like that? Did you get my drift?" he asked as insinuatingly as he could.

"You mean if someone was using us to secure a deal with another person?" Clara smiled, "Well, what would you expect me to do? Of course I'd go straight to that bastard's face and give him a piece of my mind, and if I could, I'll beat him up and feed him to the dogs. How dare he sacrifice my people for his own selfish gain?"

"I see…how about if you learn that Aguinaldo has been planning to surrender the revolution in favor of ensuring his own life as well as his officers?" he asked innocently again.

Clara stifled a yawn, "I never really thought about Aguinaldo at all. But if that happens…" she paused and knotted her eyebrows, "I don't know. I guess we had it coming…Andres had warned me before about Aguinaldo's hidden agendas but as far as it goes, he's pretty much sincere in his wish for independence so I guess I won't find him doing anything to endanger the revolution?"

Jacinto 'tsked' and decided to just get on and be honest to her, "Clara, listen, I'm sorry I've hidden this from you for a long time but…Aguinaldo has entered into negotiations with the Spaniards as early as August. Clara, they're already laying down the grounds for ending the revolution. Please-,"

"He did what-?!?" Clara was standing now, forgetting her tiredness and worries and pacing the ground, "Does everybody _else_ know of this?" she glared at Jacinto as he tried to get her to calm down. She slapped his hand away when he tried to get her to stop and sit back down. "Why didn't you tell me sooner? This is important! Lives are at stake here! You can't delay something like a ceasefire! If the revolution has ended, why the hell should we keep fighting and losing lives here?!" she snapped back at him.

Jacinto gritted his teeth, he's angry enough as it is, and he knew it was his fault for not telling her but…argh…Andres was usually the one who had to break these kinds of news to her because he could control her and she actually listens to his suggestions. But Andres is gone, Jacinto is the only one left that could take care of Clara. "The negotiations were not meant to stop the rebellion, it's only meant to augment the revolution. Clara, Aguinaldo is not vying for independence, he's planning to bring you back to your father in exchange for his safety."

Clara almost could not believe it. Of course, what did she expect? A bed of roses at the end of the revolution? Surely, this was something she should have considered. For his own safety, Aguinaldo is going to trade thousands of people. That's ironic. Clara almost laughed at the irony of it all. Now where did she know somebody who has done that before? Didn't she trade her people for a name and a father hundreds of years ago? Now that she's the one who's on the opposite end of the bargain, Clara could not find it in herself to blame Aguinaldo for what he had done. How could she tell him that's wrong when she had been the reason he had done that in the first place?

Slowly…slowly…she felt her mind break. Everything she does always come back to that one inerasable sin she had committed when she didn't know better. She could have prevented all of this from happening…but the point is that she didn't. She had been too blinded by her own desires to think about its consequences. She should have realized earlier that she was a country, that there's not only a nameless girl inside her, but also a nameless country. That consisted of thousands of lives, of a thousand different futures she could have altered if it weren't for her selfishness that one fateful night. Tears fell from her eyes as everything she ever dreamed of for her people came crashing down. There would be no freedom at the end of their struggle. "T-this..is the first time…I-I really felt…the graveness of my mistake…three hundred years and it's still echoing across this land…now it's coming back for me…I didn't know…" she brought her hands to her face and cried into it.

"Clara, stop-," Jacinto tried to pacify her but he found that he didn't want to speak. She shouldn't be sad. He made her sad.

"I didn't know how sad it really felt when you've done your best and yet they still gave up on you…"

Jacinto hated it when Clara talks like this. Why can't she see that she's the only one weighing herself down? Wasn't it enough that she knew she had made a mistake…she can't possibly regret everything that happened since then…because the fact that she's so upset now meant that she had been happy with her decision. It's her fate to be here right at this moment. He gripped her shoulders and shook her like he's trying to wake her up, "Will you quit that? Not every little thing that happens here is because of what you did! Nobody's blaming you for what you have done so get over it already! You're not going to move forward if you won't put down your past. Isn't it enough to remember them? You can't keep beating yourself like this. I'm aware that it was painful…that was inevitable…but Clara, you don't have to suffer…not now, not ever. Move on, Clara. This is the present, you did not choose this but it's definitely not your fault!"

She met his gaze and said in a weak voice, "But it's just too hard to forgive myself…"

_Shit_…this is why he lets Andres talk to her. Jacinto's probably as much bonkers as Clara was on topics like this. He let go of her and she sank to the ground in a sobbing heap. Jacinto ran a hand through his hair in frustration, he kicked some dirt in annoyance before sitting down on the ground in front of Clara, "Clara, I just-…Oh shit…did I make you cry? Darn it…I'm sorry, alright? I just- I'm not good at things like this so I get angry when I fail…Sorry…" he patted her head gently. "We all expected to gain independence…the revolution might end but they can't end the rebellion unless we're free from Spain. Don't cry, Clara. I would always be here to support you."

Clara stopped crying.

"What's happening here?" a voice came from behind Jacinto. It was Sakay. And he looked haggard. "Did you tell her?" he asked.

Jacinto nodded. Sakay then showed him the paper in his hands. "There's something you need to know…this just came in from our insider. They have reached an agreement."

Clara came out of her stupor and grabbed the paper from Sakay's grasp and read it. Jacinto looked over her shoulder so he could also read. Clara's eyes widened. "Why are there no provisions for my people here? Why is there only numbers? Where are the resolutions?! What have we fought for all along?" she said in a broken voice. She turned to look at the other two for an explanation but the two just bowed their heads.

"I was going to tell you, Clara. The negotiations were nothing more than business propositions. The negotiations had not dragged on for five months because of any insistence from Aguinaldo's side to make the Spaniards comply with any of the people's revolutionary demands. The principal gist of Paterno's mediation was to decide the amount to be paid to the leaders and the terms of payment."

Clara can't seem to process what she's hearing right now. All of the lives lost, the efforts, the sacrifices, all were for nothing? Only a few would benefit from the surrender of the revolution, where thousands had shed blood while they just shouted out orders? No amount of money could compensate for their losses! What was Aguinaldo thinking? He can't pacify the people's cry for independence like this!

Clara can't accept this. She shouldn't have let the Tejeros convention happen. Ever since that convention, the revolution was slowly going downhill. She shouldn't have let the Illustrados gain control of the revolution. The Pact of Biak-na-bato was a shameful repudiation of all that the revolution had stood for. It made a mockery of the revolutionary cry for freedom that had resounded at Balintawak when the people, the masses, led by Bonifacio, were still in control of the revolution. Biak-na-bato was the logical outcome of the Illustrados' seizure of power.

Clara read over the document again. The Pact provided that the Spanish government would pay a total of 800,000 Mexican pesos in the event that Aguinaldo and his companions went into voluntary exile. This sum would be paid out in three installments: 400,000 to Aguinaldo upon his departure from Biak-na-bato, 200,000 when arms surrendered exceeded seven hundred and 200,000 when the Te Deum had been sung from the cathedral in Manila, and a general amnesty had been proclaimed. The continuous fighting, the issuing of the Malabar manifesto after negotiations had begun…it all had been done to ensure their own safety. They refused to lay down their arms before they could get a signed contract from Spain to exempt them from punishment and to still have enough to get by anywhere they wish to go to.

_They could only get general amnesty if I myself surrender. Should I? I doubt armed conflicts would cease if I turn myself in._

Clara looked at Jacinto and Sakay who were looking at her worriedly. She turned around and kept to her thoughts. She bit her thumb and tapped her foot impatiently on the ground in the process.

"Uhm…Clara? What are-,"

"Be quiet, Jacinto. I'm thinking."

_These guys would not agree to this. I bet they'd continue to fight. At the instance they don't surrender, Spain would not hold out general amnesty and would continue the arrest and torture of suspected bandits. The Spaniards are undefeatable because Antonio is fighting in the front lines. He's crushed rebellions before efficiently. If I could do something about him…maybe the Spaniards would only have enough force to hold out the fighting without losing. And the only way to hold him at bay is to…but what if he doesn't want me now? I'm just a typical colony now…what hold could I have on him? Would I really gamble all of this? _

"Clara…if you're considering surrendering to Spain, forget it. That's only happening over my dead hot body."

Clara blanched at him before flicking him in the forehead, "Who's hot? Shut up." She turned around again and accidentally caught a glimpse of Jacinto's gun holster. Realization dawned on her.

_I'll have Spain finance my army. _

She went to run to the stables. She have to get to where Aguinaldo is as soon as possible. Preferably before he goes into voluntary exile.

Clara could hear Jacinto running after her, "Wait! Where are you going?!? What are you planning?!" he yelled after her worriedly.

She jumped onto a saddled horse, and with a smirk on her face, said "I'm going to Biak-na-bato! I need to see Aguinaldo!"

Jacinto turned furious in a matter of seconds and tried to take the reign from her. "No, you do not! Why are you going to see him?!?"

Clara tugged the reigns back, "I have to tell him something! Let me go, Jacinto! I know what I'm doing!" she paused before, "By the way, I need you to do me a favor."

"Get back on the ground and we're on." Jacinto said ominously. Sakay stood behind him, raising a curious eyebrow at Clara.

Clara was indignant, "I said I know what I'm doing! What so unbelievable about that??!"

Jacinto would not be swayed by her serious face, not this time, "Because, _mahal ko_, you certainly don't know what you're doing if you think I'd ever let you associate with that conniving bastard! You're already safe here! Don't make it easier for Aguinaldo to get what he wants!"

"I planned ahead this time. Let me go, Jacinto. I'll come back eventually so do me a favor to be strong and keep up the fight. I know how to win this war, you'd just have to be patient and wait." Clara assured him with a smile. She hoped to God that everything would work out as she planned.

"I'm going with you! I'm sure as hell not going to let you go unguarded!" Jacinto protested again. Letting Clara go alone to Biak-na-bato is dangerous. The Spaniards might chance upon her on the way. If Clara needs to get to Aguinaldo pronto, then surely getting held up on the way is not on her to-do-list.

Clara's smile faltered and she looked at Sakay who still had a questioning expression on his face. She met his eyes and nodded. Sakay sighed and approached Jacinto. Without warning, he punched the lights out of his friend. "Forgive me, my friend, but the señorita said so." He let Jacinto slumped on him then turned to Clara.

Clara regained hold on the reign of her horse and examined Jacinto's face, "He should know when to let go. It's not like I'm doing this to get away from him. I really do like his company." She turned her gaze to Sakay, "Take good care of him. I know this is an unreasonable request but…could you please hold out for a year or two? I have plans, but I don't know how long it would take to carry them all out. Until then, I need you to keep the fight. Never let the Spaniards think that the rebellion is over. And as much as possible, keep your lives."

Sakay nodded, "Yes, señorita, I will. Though…could you leave a message for Jacinto so he won't kill me when he wakes up?"

There was silence for a few moments before Clara spoke up, "Tell him…tell him that I've forgiven his mother for what she had done even before he was born. I didn't mean to reject all his advances. I was just waiting to see where Emilio Jacinto begins and where Maria's dutiful son ends."

* * *

It was a surprise to everyone in Biak-na-bato when Clara showed up at noon time the day before they sign the treaty with Spain to be known as 'The Pact of Biak-na-Bato' and demanded to talk privately with Aguinaldo. When the two were left alone in the latter's office, they were all expecting to hear Clara chew the general out. But there were no loud noises that could be heard by the whole compound who were all hanging in suspense.

Everyone was wondering what they were talking about. Maybe Clara also wants out of the country? She wants to come back to Spain. They've seen enough of the girl at the courtroom at Bonifacio's trial and Aguinaldo's office in Cavite to know that if the girl is furious, everyone nearby could hear her opinion. But there were none. So the girl must have been in a good mood. Maybe she's taking the whole thing lightly. It's an end to her struggle after all. It just won't leave the desired result, is all.

Then she came out of the room about twenty minutes later smiling to herself with Aguinaldo tailing behind her and announcing that they were going to exile themselves in HongKong. And that Clara would be handed back to Spain at the signing of the treaty tomorrow. They all stared at her as she took the news calmly. Could the girl not find it in herself to protest even in the slightest about what they were doing?

The next day she was silent while the governor-general leered at her. Actually, Primo de Rivera did not expect to find her there at all, all his for the taking. He was expecting to have to search for her which would be tiring. As far as he knew, the girl had a knack for finding good hiding places. Don Antonio would certainly be pleased when his governor-general goes back to Manila with more than just signed papers.

The journey back to the walled city was a bit depressing for Clara but she kept on the indifferent façade until they arrived at the Malacañang Palace and Antonio was nowhere in sight.

"He must have gone out. Where did Don Antonio go today?" Primo de Rivera asked another official who had stayed at the palace.

"I don't know. I think he just went out a while ago. Dios mio, is that-!?" the official gave her a sideways glance before turning back to his colleague.

"Yes, she is." He turned back to Clara, "I take it you still know where your room is? I'd like you to stay there until Don Antonio comes back." And he left her along with two guards.

_He's too sure I'm not going to run away, isn't he? _She thought as she trudged along the familiar hallway to the gardens where she used to hang out with Maria and a few times with Antonio when he had time for her more than twenty years ago. She took a deep breath as she opened the doors to the garden. "You could leave me now, I've got no where to run to anyway." The guards did not budge, "Or…you could stay there…Please stay there. I'm just going to have a look around here. You can keep an eye on me…but por favor, stay here." She pleaded. The guards reluctantly agreed when she added a pout.

She smiled at them before trudging across the gardens and disappearing among the trees. The sun was still high in the sky…the perfect time for siesta.

_Arthur sat with his back resting against the tree and propped both of his hands behind his head and got ready for a nap when Clara rested her head on his bended knees and softly murmured, "Padre always let me sleep like this when we get too tired to get back inside the palace for siesta." and she closed her eyes._

"_Shut up and sleep."_

And indeed, she found Antonio lying under the shade of a huge mango tree, both of his hands propped behind his head and one of his legs bent at the knees. Her heart beat faster at the sight of her father sleeping peacefully. His even breaths, the goofy smile on his face that meant that he was dreaming again most likely of tomatoes again…only then did she notice just how much she had missed the man. A cool breeze swept through them, making the leaves make a soft rustling noise and the little patches of sunlight dance across grass around her. She sighed calmly before she noticed that she had been watching him with bated breath. It seems he still had that effect on her.

When she sees him like this, it's like the last 26 years did not happen. If the two of them would agree on it, they could pretend she just came from her lessons and found her father already asleep waiting for her. How nice that would be…but that would just be a distant dream for her.

"I'm here, Padre." she murmured.

Antonio did not open his eyes.

"Welcome back, _hija_." he said.

And she closed her eyes and prayed for salvation.

She received the first letter from Alfred F. Jones two months later. The United States…are declaring war against the Spanish Empire.

* * *

**Ahahahahahaha...Alfred's here...they'd all soon be here! weeee...I did not take Summer Classes...bummer...now I have nothing else to do but write this fic and try to keep the house clean til the town fiesta! I love Philippine fiestas! One of the good things we got from spain!**

**Thanks to all who finds the time to read and review this fic of mine! Know that I greatly appreciate your comments, no matter how short it is! Thanks so much!  
**


	12. To the Father I love so much

Philippines found Malaysia looking out the window of the room she kept him in for the last few days. He was fine physically, she had made sure of that...except maybe for that bullet wound right in the center of his forehead. She had the satisfaction of watching him squirm in delirium on the plane to Indonesia before she left him there in favor of traveling to Russia. Which was a bitch because not only did that fucking psychopath Russia almost tried to beat her up when she failed to listen to what he was saying, he also, personally and painfully, put in a GPS tracker beneath her skin...all of that without China knowing.

She hissed in irritation and forcefully removed the sunflower-ridden band-aid even when her wound was still raw. She had to do something about her wounds too before she becomes a walking mummy. At least the lashes she had gotten some months back had somewhat all dried now.

"If you're planning on escaping through the window, the door is wide open over here," she said, pushing the door fully open as if mocking him.

Malaysia glared at her from where he stood. She must be the only one there dumb enough to think he'd readily jump out the window which happened to be three stories from the ground. Dying twice within less than a week is not on his to-do-list. That's why he won't even try it. Especially with only one arm usable. He did suffer considerable damage and so the cast on his right arm.

He forced himself not to strangle her, he probably won't be able to anyway. However a part of him was keeping him from hating her. As if something about her was pushing him to wait and see what happens. In the last few days that he was floating around in his dreams and the past two hours that he was brought back to reality, he mostly thought about his estranged sister. Finding out her motives, trying to figure out what happened to her and why her personality had changed drastically.

She was already cold and reserved from the moment she woke up in the hospital after they found her but still, the idea of a twistedly cheerful Philippines always struck him as eerie.

She huffed and sat down on the couch near where Malaysia was. He did not move an inch, but his gaze followed her, closely watching her every move. "How are you? Feeling better already?"

Malaysia narrowed his eyes at her, "You do know I got a bullet lodged in my head." he hissed.

She rolled her eyes at him, "Of course, I do. I freaking put it there." she said, annoyed. "I'm starting to think putting a hole in your mind wasn't one of my better ideas..."

_No matter what, she's a woman, and she's your only sister__...who thought it would be funny to make your skull explode..._Malaysia thought over and over in his head, trying to keep his fists to himself while Philippines sat cross-legged on the couch, a mocking smile on her features. _With things as they were, I bet I'm already at war with her. _"What do you want from me?"

She giggled, "Getting right back to business? I was quite bored of the small talk. I'm here to make you do some work for me, just making decisions, that's all. I kind of got myself into a small skirmish with Brunei two days ago. My best friend sure knows how to betray me." she smiled when his eyes widened a bit at the mention of Brunei and his body going rigid. _Got him..._"She went to Thailand's place two days ago to deliver her Sultan's proposal of alliance. Somebody thought it's not funny that Brunei should take sides with you...so they had someone sneak into her hotel room in Bangkok and take her away secretly."

Malaysia shot her his most intimidating look, "I swear, if you harm Brunei in any way, I'll throw away the fact that you're my sister and _kill you_."

Philippines stared at him silently before scoffing, "Oh, how insensitive of me, forgetting that she's important to you. Then how about this," she pulled her phone from her pocket and dangled it in front of his face, "You talk some sense into her."

Malaysia just gave her a look of distrust. _Why the hell should I take your word for anything? _"I don't want to. If Brunei willingly supported me...that is her choice."

"You...don't want to?" Philippines flipped the phone close, "Then I guess that means you're not interested in saving her. Pity." she made to leave but then Malaysia grabbed her wrist and stopped her.

"Don't fuck with me. What are you planning?" Malaysia asked.

"I'm sorry, Malaysia but Brunei swam in the wrong waters." Philippines smirked. She took a glance at the wall clock behind Malaysia and snatched back her wrist. She walked to the television and turned it on.

Instantly, the screen was filled with the image of girl tied to a chair with a single light shining from above as if she was in an interrogating room. Her hair was messy and her clothes were torn but Malaysia instantly recognized the face even if the girl had a blindfold. "Brunei!" he shouted, running towards the screen. It was her and from the faint sounds resounding from the television, she was crying and pleading. Beside the crying girl were two men in uniform holding guns to her head and neck. Malaysia swiftly turned and stormed towards a giggling Philippines.

"You bitch! What did you do to her?" he held her forcefully by the collar of her dress, pushing her back until they fell on top of the bed. Malaysia didn't care that he was straddling her. He's not willing to forgive.

"Did you do this?" Malaysia hissed dangerously. "Were you the one who planned this?"

She rolled her eyes at him, "I just happen to be keeping a close eye on Brunei." she answered coolly, wriggling around, trying to get out of their rather...compromising position. She stole a glance at the wall clock, "She's been waiting for a call for two hours now."

Malaysia looked at the phone she was holding up in his face, Brunei's number was on it...and all she had to do was press the 'CALL' button. He tried to snatch at it with his free hand but she held it away. "Then why aren't you doing so?" he gritted his teeth.

"If you swear you'd stay by my side, I'd spare her for you, if you promise not to leave this place, that is." She said. "You'd never get to see anyone else again...ever. You're going to be locked forever in this place, doing things I tell you and not doing things I forbid you to. Easy, right?"

He ran his hand through his hair in frustration "Why are you so adamant in keeping me here?"

"You're my brother. Why would I not want to keep you?" she answered innocently.

"You know I'd escape from here at the next moment I get." He said.

"Even at the cost of Brunei's life? All I'm asking is for you to stay here in exchange for her life. That's a bargain, if I must say. I shouldn't be even doing this. I don't care what happens to Brunei. In fact, it would be to my advantage if she's incapacitated now. That's one less nation on my list. So why am I doing this? It's for you, Malaysia. Because Brunei...is important to you...but not to me...no...so if you don't mind." she tried to pry him off her.

_She's lying...she's a liar...I shouldn't listen to what she says. She's tried to kill me once. I shouldn't put it past her to break promises or even try to bait me. _"Why should I believe you? What proof do you have that you would save her?" Malaysia kept her grounded.

Philippines tsked and turned away irritatedly, "You have an awful lot of questions. I'm starting to get rather annoyed. If you're not going to take my word for it, expect Brunei's demise in the evening news."

"Then let me talk to her...personally." he demanded.

Philippines grinned and handed him the phone. "That's what I've been telling you! You're so slow, you know that?" she played with her hair, "Though I think you should say all that you want now. Once that call gets through, expect it to be the last conversation you'll ever have. There won't be a next time for a long, long time..." she trailed off.

Malaysia glared at her as he got up and walked towards the screen. He held the phone next to his ear. It was ringing. And ringing. And ringing. He got nervous. Until finally, it got through. Philippines was giggling behind him. _Bitch_, Malaysia thought.

"Brunei?"

There was no sound from the phone but as he looked at the television, Brunei seemed to be hearing something and was straining her neck to the source of his voice. "Malaysia? Malaysia! Malaysia! Where are you?" Brunei kept twisting around, as if trying to figure out his location. And when Malaysia took long enough to answer, she stopped and hung her head low and sobbed, "Malaysia..."

Malaysia felt his heart clench at the sound of her trembling and obviously shaken voice. He furiously wiped his sleeves at his eyes when his tears threatened to fall. Trying hard not to make his voice tremble, he spoke calmly again, "_Sayang_, I'm here. Are you alright?"

Brunei seemed to straighten herself at the return of his voice, "Yes, I'm fine." She smiled, and she heard a sniffle, "Malaysia...are you hurt? Why are you crying?"

_Shit..._Malaysia turned away from the phone for a second before saying, "Brunei, listen to me. Do not enter the war at any cost. Stay out of it, for me, please. You'd only end up hurt. Just stay neutral and nobody's going to harm you."

Brunei cocked her head in confusion, "What are you talking about, Malaysia? I have to go to war. I need to get you home."

Fresh tears clouded Malaysia's vision. His free hand wiped at his eyes. _This girl..._"Brunei, I'm not going home anymore. So you'd have to take care of yourself. I'm staying here. I'm never going to see you again. So please, just please, assure me that you'd be safe."

"...She's there with you, right?" there was only silence, "You don't have to listen to her! You're Malaysia, for god's sake! Come home!" she choked on the last words, which led to her sobbing quietly, she dreaded the answer, but she had a feeling, "This the last time...I'm ever to talk to you again, huh?"

Malaysia didn't want this to end, "Yes, this is the last. So stop being a brat and listen to what I'm telling you to do. You don't want to make life any harder for me, right?"

"Can't I...look for you anymore?" she asked weakly.

"No. I would appreciate it if you don't concern yourself with me. I'm never coming back."

"But...Malaysia...I love you..." she almost sounded whiny.

Malaysia felt his heart clench painfully, _Goddamit, I love you so much more, "_Sorry, _sayang_. I only like you as a younger sister. It would be better if you forget about me." He held the phone away from his ear and massaged his forehead.

He could hear Brunei calling his name again, "You're lying! Rhamat-," he cut off the call. At the screen, he could see Brunei getting more distressed and saying things he could no longer hear.

Philippines tried to muffle her laughter by smothering herself with a pillow but a loud snort came out and knocked Malaysia from staring at the screen. He glared at her then sat himself on the couch and covered his face with his hands.

"What's up with that last bit? Like my little sister? Is that what you call worshiping the ground she walks on now?" she laughed at the irony. "But oh well, I don't care what you tell her. If she puts one toe out of line, I'm going to run her over whole." She glanced at the screen, Brunei was obviously bawling. Her eyes narrowed in annoyance before putting on her nonchalant expression and walking over to Malaysia, "Now that's not my fault, isn't it?" she pointed at the screen.

She tried to pry her phone from his grasp but he grabbed again painfully at her wrist and stopped her. "You're no longer going to do anything to her. You're going to bring her back to her home." _Aryani..._

Philippines could feel the blood circulation in her hand cut off, "Don't you...trust me, Malaysia?" with her other hand, she brought her face uncomfortably closer to his. "Everything depends...Brunei may or may not listen to you...but sadly, this is the last thing you'd ever know about her." she pulled her hand out of his grasp, "Keep the phone if you want. Come downstairs anytime you want to eat. Bye~"

She turned off the television. Grinning maliciously, Philippines closed the door gently and walked down the hall until she came to the last room. When Malaysia didn't seem to want to come out of his room, she pushed open the door in front of her and abruptly closed it once she entered. It was a good thing she had soundproofed every room in the mansion before she brought him here.

Because Brunei is still screaming.

"Shut up before I get fed up with you!" Philippines shouted amidst the noise once it ceased to amuse her. Brunei stopped and leaned towards the source of the voice. Philippines huffed and untied the blindfold from Brunei's eyes. Puffy red eyes that were still crying greeted her. She snorted trying to stop giggling. "Hello, _sayang_." She teased.

Brunei looked hard at her, "Clara! You crossed the line! You shouldn't-," Brunei's head snapped to the right as her left cheek burned in pain. She gasped in shock.

"One thing I hate is people telling me what I should and shouldn't do. I'm the boss now. I'll be the one who tells how everyone breathes." Philippines said, her hand itching to slap the other woman again but held restraint. She can't kill Brunei. Oh, she'll be safe alright, but she's never coming home either.

"Why are you so angry at us? What went wrong?" Brunei asked.

Philippines pulled a chair from a corner of the room and situated herself in front of Brunei. "Some few things...like you forming an alliance with Vietnam and Thailand while you're my supposed-to-be supportive best friend. Some kind of friend you are." She scowled in distaste.

"I did not betray you! I had to do what I think is right! This time, you're in the wrong, Clara! You're hurting the people who cared about you! And for a reason you can't even say to me, your supposed-to-be supportive best friend!" Brunei spat out, a narrowed glare directed at Philippines.

Philippines smirked, "There are only two sides in here, Brunei. If you're not betraying me, then that means you're my ally. And I assure you, this _will be_ the right side. So I guess I'd be seeing more of you in the next few months?"

Brunei huffed, concluding that her best friend had acquired a one-track mind, "You think you could make everyone do what you want, but you're wrong. You can't."

She leaned in closer to whisper in Brunei's ear, "The truth of the matter is, you're going to be my puppet and once you bore me, I'm going to cut your strings and throw you like some common trash." She giggled maliciously.

"I'm not your puppet, I'm your friend." Brunei cried, she thought she could hate Philippines for hurting Malaysia but she can't.

_You're Brunei, right? Malaysia was just being a jerk. I know! Why don't we be friends? _

"That's right, Brunei. You're my friend. And I would be enough for you."Philippines leaned in closer, "Because from now on...nobody will care about you except for me."

Brunei eyed her warily.

Philippines smiled innocently at her, "We'd always be best friends."

In her mind, Brunei begged to differ.

* * *

"What the hell, Alfred! You've been cooped up in my house for almost a week! Get the hell out of here, this is not like you, eh!" Canada yelled at his brother but he might as well have whispered when he should have known it would fall on his stupid brother's ears.

America had actually called him up a week ago to ask where the hell Canada was and when Canada all but fetched him personally when Alfred just couldn't get his bearings right, he managed to keep his patience and actually manage to direct Alfred to his house. Canada was hesitant in letting him stay because Ukraine was also coming over the next day. But because his brother looked so vulnerable and he flashed him that killer puppy eyes of his, Canada had to reluctantly let him in and was somewhat thankful that Ukraine had cancelled at the last minute and spared him another awkward situation with America in the house.

And since then, he never left.

"Hey, what's wrong with your brother? He's not being as awesome as me today, not that he ever was. His country's depression finally caught him up?" Prussia looked up from his plateful of pancakes and maple syrup, pointing his fork at America.

Canada rolled his eyes at the other freeloader in his house. "No, his country's over the recession years ago. He's back at the top of the market so I don't know what's eating up his ass again."

"Maybe something to do with Tonio's daughter? Yeah, he did send the lot of us to the hospital for that one. The nurses weren't as awesome." He dug into his pancakes again, "Mein gott! This stuff is awesome!"

Canada seemed to dwell on that one, "Well, he was really worried about Clara these past few months, eh...Last thing I heard she's bombed Malaysia and kidnapped him too."

"I think I heard something about that from Tonio some days back. He's bawling over his daughter taking on a man, I say she's just getting it on with her bro-," Canada shushed him when Alfred snapped out of his reverie at the mention of Clara's name and was stalking towards the two of them. He looked ominous for someone who was always positively cheery.

"She's doing what?" he asked almost threateningly, sitting in front of Prussia in the counter.

Canada sighed, "Look Alfred, can you just tell me what in god's name is the problem now so you won't grow mushrooms at the corners of my house, eh?"

"You're growing mushrooms? That's not awesome."

America huffed, "I'm not growing mushrooms, heroes don't!"

"Well, yeah, it's been a damn week, Al! So spit it out, eh!" Canada retaliated. _For the love of my remaining sanity, if you're going to bother me with your problems, do it quick!_

America stared blankly at them, "You both do know Clara, right? The Philippines? She's over at the other side of the Pacific."

"You know where she is, but you don't know where I am _most of the time_ and _we share the longest unprotected border_, some kind of brother you _are_." Canada whispered to himself.

"That's because he's not awesome like me." Prussia nudged him in the arm, winking.

"Hey! As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, Clara's my...friend...and she's in need of a hero right now...but my boss wouldn't let me fly over to her."

"Is this about that war with Malaysia? Wait, didn't you have that Mutual Defence Treaty with her? You're sworn to fight for her!" Canada said dubiously.

"That's what I've been trying to tell him but he wouldn't listen! He's fucking chickening out! And all because of that fucking stupid commie!" Alfred slammed his fists on the counter.

"Ivan? Russia after her too?" Prussia said between mouthfuls of pancakes, "Man, sucks for her."

"No, my boss is suspecting that Russia's behind her boost in military prowess, and that they're allies and the commie is planning to slit my throat by the end of the year."

Prussia and Canada looked at each other, "What's so surprising about that?" they both asked.

Alfred looked at the two of them like they've just merged into one ugly being, "Well, the fact that Clara is with that psychopath and she _probably hates_ me?"

Prussia looked at America, "Look, Alfred, the truth is, you're not awesome like me."

Canada rubbed his forehead, "Al, let me tell you this. One, a third of the world hates you."

Alfred chuckled nervously, "A third of the what? You've got to be kidding me-,"

"I told you to stop sticking your nose into other people's business, but you, as always, _didn't listen_." Canada said a matter of factly.

Alfred narrowed his eyes disbelievingly at him. "You mean we've talked before?"

_You're asking me that now after I fed you for a week?_ Canada sighed and held up two fingers, "I thought it's pretty obvious that Russia's plotting to kill you ever since he laid eyes on you, idiot."

Alfred flashed his signature smile, "My sentiments exactly. Saving the world from fucking commies, one bomb at a time."

Prussia snickered, patting Alfred in the back.

Canada squeezed his eyes shut in hopelessness, "And three, don't be surprised if Clara got weapons from Russia, you're not the only gunrunner in the world."

"But then-," Alfred was cut off by Canada putting a finger against his mouth.

" But then that doesn't mean anything. Sure, she might have bought some weapons from Russia but that doesn't mean the two of them are going up in arms _against _you. "

"He's right, man. I mean, just because your little girlfriend bought some toys from your mortal enemy doesn't mean she's also planning to shove them up your ass. Unless she hates you, which would not be awesome, I should know, Hungary's been after my blood for centuries now!"

Alfred couldn't have been paler.

* * *

**April 13, 2014 - Sabah, Malaysia**

She walked along the deserted street and smirked. If it were any other day, this very street would be swarming with pedestrians and vendors and moving cars. But no, this is not any other day, because surely, raining bombs from the sky is not a daily occurrence...in Sabah. Philippines walked alone, an AK-47 nestled comfortably in her arms, poised to shoot anybody. Her tanks had long made their marks on this street and are probably barricaded outside the city's main office building. She was just looking around. Houses were burning, black smoke rising from different parts of the city, abandoned cars, some dead civilians here and there, fallen debris, mostly blown from bombed buildings.

Sabah is trembling under her feet. She really loved launching surprise attacks.

"I told you not to mess with me, Malaysia...because I could make a bigger mess out of you." She whispered to herself. Malaysia must be writhing in pain in her house right now. And speaking of which, she forgot to feed Brunei for the third day in a row, "Oops..."

She shrugged the thoughts of a starved to death Brunei tied to a chair..._oh well, she's a pretty resilient nation... she'll revive easily_. She actually didn't mean to forget about her, she was just too busy destroying Malaysia's place slowly bit by bit.

She looked up as fighter planes cast a shadow on the ground as they passed above the buildings. They were going into the direction of her army. She grinned cruelly, "Finally. Vietnam's here."

* * *

If only Alfred could have guessed the situation he would land himself in, he would have been more resolute in his decision back then not to lay a hand on her. He was not an imperialist, he does not conquer anyone and he's not like England. Alfred is a hero. He only saves.

So why can't he even convince himself that he had, in fact, saved her?

Because she ended up crying.

"Clara, please-"

Never did he think that she'll ever look at him with so much anguish in her tear stained face, "You killed him!" she snapped at him with so much conviction.

"I'm sorry." And he really was but she refused to understand.

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

**December 17 1897 – April 21, 1898**

It was awkward. Having dinner with the man everyone was so sure you hated was. Especially when said man is your father. And your father is Spain. Clara felt like he's treating her like she never left. And it was quite devastating to see that everything she had painstakingly done for the past two decades looked like nothing to Antonio. She couldn't eat anything at all.

That night, after dinner, she immediately locked herself in her room after turning down his invitation to have dessert in the patio. Her heart wouldn't be able to take the tension that it seems only she could feel.

There was a knock on her door. She sat up abruptly from her bed, praying that it wouldn't be her father.

The door opened to reveal a middle-aged woman holding a tray of food.

"Ahh..._Manang_, I did not ask for food." she said as the woman set down the tray on the circular table in the center of the room.

The older woman then pulled up a rattan chair and sat down, setting the contents of the tray on the table, one for her and one for Clara. "I know. I just want a reason to get up here and talk to you."

Clara studied the suspicious older woman critically...she looked familiar...but where did she see her before...? "Forgive me, but who are you?"

Clara swore the woman had glared at her, "You don't remember me? Sure I got older, but I do believe I am still young enough to be recognized. They call me Josefa now but my real name is Maria." She said, taking a sip of the hot chocolate.

Clara blinked and stared hard at the woman minding her own business a few feet away from her. Maria? As in the Maria she knew? Jacinto's mother? "Wait, back-up a bit. After all this time you're still working here?"Clara wondered, it had been twenty six years since she ran away after all...

It was Maria's turn to look at her, "Yes, I've been here all this time. Except for the two years I have to spend in Guam, but I got back so I guess you could call it that." she said with a dead pan voice.

"What were you doing in Guam?" Clara asked curiously, getting off her bed and taking her place in the other chair set beside Maria. She looked over the older woman again, "Wow...you're so old." She giggled in excitement.

Maria scowled, she's very conscious of her age, no need to remind her, "The night you ran away Izquierdo had a serious row with your father and had a hard time convincing him that you were at fault. Damn demon thought I'd blab my mouth so he accused me of sedition and had me thrown to Guam along with the others."

Clara was trying hard not to laugh at her appearance, "So how did you get back?"

"I worked my ass off as a waitress in a restaurant. I really want to pummel Izquierdo to dust but he's not here anymore when I got back. I changed my name and I managed to get a job here and that's when I heard that when you left, nothing had been seen of you yet. Your father never came back either for a long time."

"Oh...I see." Clara could not understand why she felt relieved at that.

Maria shook her head at the younger woman, "I lied. He was here from time to time but he did not stay in the palace. He was busy scouring the whole colony, desperately looking for you. But like I said, you disappeared without a trace." Maria smirked when Clara's smile slowly fell.

"Ah...I guess that was a bit too much for Pa-Antonio...so...why did you decide to screw up Emilio's life, might I ask?" Clara said, trying to change the topic. Antonio will be her own problem.

Maria refused to meet Clara's eyes, "That time...when I betrayed you...I never got to apologize for that. Not that I needed to, you were really stupid back then, but still...I lived with some reformists for some time and I realized how important a nation really is. If you aren't happy, none of us will ever be. So I thought I'd have to make amends with you, so I tried waiting for you to go back here," she was looking more and more flustered by the minute.

"Oh, go on, I'm enjoying this." The wolfish grin was back on Clara's face. This is the first time she could actually grill Maria after all that happened. Just a harmless payback for the letters she was made to write.

"And you were taking so long! So I ended up marrying and having a son and you still weren't here! Emilio was such a clever boy, I sent him to my brother, yes, he did steal and yes, he made a fortune out of the things he had stolen, to be educated and then you came back and he was gone like a bubble."

"You mean you did not force him?" Clara raised an eyebrow.

"No! I love my son. It's just that...maybe I oversold you a bit to him...but everything he's done since you met had been his own decisions. I'm just working here quietly." Maria smiled sheepishly. "My son seems to be popular at what he does..." she remembered the wanted posters and the angry mentions of him from the officials in the palace.

_Which one? Annoying me or fighting for me?_ "He's doing a great job. He's very busy."

"Good. I did not raise him to be a useless flirt like the sons of those rich snobs." Maria calmly sipped her drink.

"Right...a useless flirt..."Clara stole a glance at the older woman. She smiled. The closeness might be gone, but the comfortable companionship was still there. She would never admit she missed Maria.

She didn't know what to make of everything Antonio was doing. She had gone back to him prepared for anything, even a beating or prison if Antonio so desired but not exactly like how they were now. They were back to normal, Antonio's her adoring father and she's his little princess. If anything, he was more doting now...like he's making up for lost time. Clara didn't understand him at all.

Clara was sure she'd go completely insane if their current state is prolonged. Because there's just no way in hell that nothing has changed and that the rift she had created between them is non-existent. At least she could rant to Maria from time to time to vent out her frustrations.

And she didn't really want to remember what Spain had done come Christmas...really...maybe the guy's trying to kill her with guilt. She wanted to talk to him about the revolution but he's doing a great job in avoiding the topic or distracting her.

So she waited for an opportunity to be alone with Antonio because it seems the governor-general or some other friends always seem to show up at the most unfortunate times. Until she deliberately had to invited Spain for a picnic...by the beach.

It had been easy persuading him into coming alone with her, without the guards or the maids or the government officials. All she had to do was walk up to him, smile brightly, and in her sweetest voice demand some father-daughter bonding time. He fell instantly for the idea. She regretted doing it afterward.

Once they got there, Antonio catered to her almost every want...she was forced into silence before she could even open her mouth. The afternoon was enjoyable, but if life wasn't just so complicated for the both of them, it would have been terrific. Antonio might be willing to put the past behind him, but Clara refuses to capitulate.

Not with Aguinaldo exiled in Hongkong and certainly not with her people still fighting for the revolution in remote parts of the country.

The reason she had voluntarily come back, it wasn't because she knew she was losing. No. It was for Antonio. For that piece of her that can't move away from him. Sure, not everyone in her country is in for the revolution, but this is about her, for the grateful daughter who wants to make her father understand that she had done the right thing. It's high time that Spain lets go of his hold on Las Islas Filipinas. Enough is enough. Three hundred years could testify to that.

"This, _hija_, is a conch shell. There are lots of these in my homeland too! Here!" Antonio placed the shell next to her ear, "You can hear the ocean!"

Clara just nodded her head and held the shell in her ear as Antonio went to pick up more shells excitedly. Clara watched him for a while and made up her mind, she bit her lip and said sheepishly, "Padre, there's something-,"

"_Madre de dios_! Look! A stone that resembles a tomato! Lovi would be pleased when he sees this!" he suddenly exclaimed, holding up for her to see the rather bizarre rock.

Clara's eyes narrowed curiously, "Who's Lovi?"

Antonio cocked his head in confusion, "You mean I've never told you about Lovino before?"

She shook her head, "No."

"Oh. Lovi is just like you and me but in his case, he's South Italy. He used to be my henchman...and now I think he's...still pretty much my henchman...I mean, he's still eating and napping at my house in Madrid, every now and then. And he's cute too! Like a tomato! He loves tomatoes as much as I do!" he grinned fondly at the thoughts that flooded him whenever something concerns Lovino.

Clara reverted to staring at the ground while her father was busy losing himself in his flashbacks. She never knew he could talk so affectionately of some other person before. And she can't believe she was getting jealous of someone she's never met but practically shared her whole life with Spain with. From the random spouts from Antonio it seems Lovino was the reason he had to leave her behind all those years ago when she was younger.

But she knew that even if Lovino did not exist and her father devoted all his time to her and never left her alone, she'd still end up in this same predicament, meeting the same people, making the same decisions.

She sat on the ground and waited for Spain to shut up before she had her say. So she let the sand pass through the spaces between her fingers and nodded sometimes to make Spain think she's still listening. She didn't notice that it was almost sunset by the time Spain offered her a hand to stand up.

"We were having so much fun I did not notice it's already dusk." Antonio grinned apologetically at her.

She nodded and took the offered hand but instantly fell down when she tried to stand. Her legs had fallen asleep and she can't walk. Antonio brightened up more.

"Why don't I carry you in my back, _princesa_? Just like the old times!" Antonio offered enthusiastically.

"But, Padre, I'm a bit too old for piggy-back rides," she reasoned, a bit embarrassed at the notion.

"Nonsense! You're still Padre's precious little girl!"

So she had to reluctantly climb into his back when he turned around and knelt on the ground. He abruptly stood up and positioned her higher. She placed her hands on top of his shoulders loosely and if Antonio noticed her effort to minimize contact, he didn't show it. He started walking along the sandy harbour to their way home.

"You've got breath-taking sunsets, _hija_. Truly magnificent." Antonio commented as his eyes strayed to the orange horizon.

Clara touched her forehead to the back of Antonio's head, "Padre, why do you not hate me?" she whispered softly, not fully intending to be heard.

Antonio paused for a brief moment before walking again, "Do you remember when you were a child, you used to follow me everywhere when you have a feeling I'm going far away?"

Clara allowed herself to smile at the memory, "I chased after you once until you got to the harbor and you cried harder than I did afterwards."

Spain had a goofy smile on his face again, "Ah! But _mi hija_ was sooo cute~ It always takes all of Padre's willpower not to succumb to that adorable crying face!"

Clara thought they're getting off-topic again, "So why do you not hate me?" she asked boldly.

Antonio paused for a moment again, adjusted her on his back before trailing off again. Clara waited for him to speak and was about to ask again when Antonio sighed and said, "You were the first person who needed _me_ so much and made me so happy I could barely contain it." She did not see the warm smile on his lips as he said it but Clara knew and she wrapped her hands around Antonio's neck, bringing her body closer to his.

"I've always thought of myself as somebody who's living a lie. I know you've been to Europe, you've seen the others, right?"

Clara reluctantly confirmed his question. Now he knows she really did sneak to Madrid once.

Antonio only smiled at her, "We're nations so in order to survive we have to get ahead of the others, and to do that we sometimes deceive even our closest friends. Padre also lies, _hija_, on many occasions, to others and to myself even."

When Clara only nodded, Antonio continued, "I set out of Europe and started colonizing other potential countries! I was hoping to find the Spice Islands when I found you instead. You had been so wary of me then, and slowly you got out of your protective shell and smiled at me. To the me who had committed numerous unforgivable sins, your smiles were like salvation. They became my assurance that I could still be accepted and forgiven."

Clara's hold unconsciously tightened around his shoulders, Antonio smiled as his clothes seemed wet from where her face was resting.

"To the whole world, I'm the conquistador, the conqueror, the destroyer...but to you, I was your provider, the person you liked the most. With you, I feel like even I could be a kind human being."

"Padre..." she cried softly.

"I'm sorry I can't always take you with me when I go away. You were so small then, and I knew for a fact that European colonizers were not much aware of you yet. I wanted to preserve how you truly are, away from the noise and madness of Europe. I didn't want them to come here and taint you. I didn't want to give you away, and neither will I share you. I considered you as mine and mine alone. I built these walls around you for my own selfish reasons. I lied to you about your people. It was my greatest mistake that I thought I could keep you forever. _Lo siento_, _hija_...Padre was a bad person." Unbidden tears blurred Antonio's vision as he finally said what he's been meaning to ever since he realized what he had done.

"I shouldn't have run away back then...I only hurt you." Clara murmured on his shoulders. She sniffled, "I shouldn't have..."

Antonio still had the smile on his lips as he shook his head, "No, _hija_. That was Padre's fault too. I shouldn't have kept secrets from you about your people. I should have known that you are a nation as much as I am. I drove you into a corner and forced you to do what you did. My own selfishness made my only daughter risk her own life. I was so convinced that I might as well have killed you with my own hands. I was so angry at myself."

Clara lifted her head and asked anxiously, "But I betrayed you, Padre! I plotted to overthrow you! I wanted to be independent!"

Spain shook his head again and adjusted her on his back, "It's only natural for a colony to want freedom. I had seen what my people were doing to yours. I had subjugated many insurrections behind your back before. The people are our blood and veins, Clara. Your own actions do not deviate from what the people are thinking. I can't hold you responsible for that."

Clara choked and started crying again, "No...Padre...Padre, it was not only the people of _Las Islas Filipinas_ who wanted to be independent from you. It was _me_, too. I wanted independence out of my own free will. The one who betrayed you was me as well. I'm the one who hurt your feelings, Padre. Please don't say that I'm not responsible for all the things I've done. Because I don't want to think that the happiness I felt when I was with you was not really mine." She latched into his shirt, sobbing.

Antonio squeezed his eyes shut in an effort to stop the tears as he continued walking along the deserted beach. He can't exactly walk into the crowded streets while talking things like this with his daughter on his back. So he just trekked the long sandy paths. The sun was nearly gone. And he's tearing, something he seldom does, even at the threat of extreme bodily harm.

"I have always loved you, Padre...so much. But when I opened my heart to the people, I realized it was only selfishness on my part. I couldn't allow myself to continue being happy like this. I have to help my people, that's what nation's do. When I was fighting I also thought about you. I want to break away from Spain so much, but how I want to keep my Padre too..." she couldn't say that she still wants to be his daughter despite gaining freedom.

"It's fine, _hija_...I'd always be your Padre...I hope you can forgive Padre for his mistakes too." Was what he said, stopping to adjust her again on his back and looking at her over his shoulder when he felt the hands around his neck withdraw. He smiled warmly at her, she was looking straight back at him, with her puffy eyes and trembling lips. Antonio wanted to knock himself out. His daughter was too cute!

Clara wiped at her eyes profusely with the back of her hands, biting her lips to stop small whimpers from escaping. She didn't plan to cry this much. Actually, she didn't plan to still be cared for this much by Antonio. She was there to tell him what was running on her mind the whole time, but it ended up backfiring on her and she wished she had prepared for at least that much. But as per usual with Antonio, she's caught unprepared.

"Padre, I want to go home."

And Antonio knew he was forgiven. Too bad America didn't think so.

* * *

"Where's my Padre?" she asked as she walked into the dining room for breakfast, still rubbing her eyes from sleep. Antonio was not in his room when she passed by. And he wasn't anywhere she knew he'd usually be either.

She sat across the Governor-general who was reading a local newspaper, "He was called away to Cuba last night." He answered without looking at her.

Clara who was about to spoon rice into her mouth stopped midway, "What? Cuba? Why?" she asked curiously. She knew Cuba was in his own revolution for independence but she thought it had already mellowed down like hers somewhat did. Maybe the tension sprang up again?

Governor-general Primo de Rivera sighed, put down his papers and looked at her, "The Americans are accusing the Spaniards with the sinking of one of their battleships, USS Maine, off the coast of Havana which happened to be in Cuba, one of your father's colonies, about half a month ago."

"Why haven't Padre told me?"

"Insurrection in Cuba is still under control. He wasn't really particularly interested in the incident...seeing as he's got you here to worry about, but he also believed that the bombing of the Maine was just an excuse by the Americans to childishly manipulate public opinions." Primo answered truthfully which surprised Clara a bit since there's a trend of governor-generals who hates her.

_Americans? Alfred? What's he doing in Cuba? _"Are they starting a war?" she raised, if Spain goes to war with America, she'd probably be implicated into it. Whose side will she end up fighting for?

Primo nodded grimly, "Not yet but American journalists have played out the incident well, pushing the blame to us. The American public has been sympathetic with the Cuban's revolution and the atrocities they believe Spain was committing. And now this. The American public is pushing for the government to take immediate action."

Clara wanted to speak to Alfred about this but she wondered what the guy was doing now. He's going up against Spain, wouldn't that make them enemies if she does not manage to be independent from Spain before the fighting reaches her islands? "Did Padre leave me a message?"

The governor shook his head, "He did not. He looked like he would last night but I think he decided against it, saying 'When I get back, for sure.' What he meant by that, I have no chance to clarify. So I suggest you stay within the city. Days are about to get dangerous for you."

"You're so sure there's going to be war, Señor Rivera."

"You don't know Americans. They think war is an extension of their politics."

Clara asked herself if she really knew Alfred that much to successfully defend him. She ended up silent through the meal. America must wait. Her primary concern is her people and Spain.

When she was done, Clara stood up, "I'm going out today, but I'll be back before noon."

"Where are you going?"

"Just taking a walk...don't worry, I won't approach the walls." And she left, inviting Maria with her.

* * *

"Huy! I thought you're not going to approach the walls?" Maria reprimanded as she watched the younger girl bringing down some vines covering some part of the walls. She got nervous whenever she saw the hustles in the street nearby but so far, nobody has noticed them yet, "You're not allowed to get out of the city!"

Clara pushed a part of the wall, she smiled then pushed harder and a small entry way was revealed, "Come on, Maria. We'll get back before lunch. Just a quick tour to the Chinese trade house in the harbour and we're done." She said as she crawled through the hole and motioned for Maria to follow her.

"I swear, you're the devil who's going to kill me before my time." Maria grumbled as she crawled after Clara. Once they were outside, they kept to the walls so the guards on top won't notice them. Once they got to the main gate, they hitched a ride on a calesa which brought them to the harbour. After paying, Clara leisurely walked to the trading houses to blend in with the crowd.

She casually walked up to the man in the desk outside who was inspecting some newly delivered fabrics from mainland China. She tapped him on the shoulder, "Has Uncle Yao arrived from Hongkong yet?"

The Chinese man glared at her, recognizing her previous visit last month and in a grunt voice told her that his boss is lounging inside in his office. Clara thanked her in Chinese before making her way inside the familiar house, Maria in tow.

Once she got to the end of the inner most hall, she knocked on the door and entered, her nose quickly assailed by the smell of incense and chrysanthemums. Wang Yao seem to never tire of the scents as he was sitting on one of the couches in front of his large table eating meat buns. He nodded at the new arrivals and motioned for them to sit down. "I've met with him aru. He gave me a letter in return." China handed her a small rolled up paper.

Clara sat down, unrolling the note. Her eyes scanned the letter and she smiled contentedly. She pointed to Maria. "I won't be able to meet you personally next time, Uncle Yao. So I want to introduce you to Maria. She'll be my messenger."

"What? Clara!" Maria blanched.

"You'll be fine. It'll only be for a short time then you could go back to your boring duties at the palace." Clara looked mockingly at Maria, "Or perhaps you really waited twenty years just to be my nanny?"

"You little brat..." Maria whispered under her breath, "Alright! Fine! I'll be your messenger! You just better not fuck this up again."

"Oh, I don't think I'm the one who fucked us up last time..." Clara trailed off suggestively, her eyes focusing on the letter again.

Maria harrumphed, "I'll be outside." She slammed the door after her.

China sweat dropped at his niece, "Clara, what are you planning with that letter aru?" he asked, getting back to why she came here. He put a meat bun on a plate and handed it over to Clara who started munching on it.

"In my last letter, I told my boss that Spain is not planning to pay the last instalment of the bargain since insurrections are still occurring in the colony. And that the officers he left here had asked the governor-general for their share of the money, which was given to them. In his answer, he said he had established a military junta in Hongkong with the exiles and he's planning to buy weapons with the money he received from Spain."

China wondered why Clara looked relieved with the news. Perhaps because the revolution would be starting anew again and this time, with better chances of winning, "Why do I get the feeling that that's not all there is to it aru?" he asked rhetorically.

Clara straightened up, almost grinning like a fox, "Because everything's going according to my plans!"

China smiled at his niece. At last things seem to be good for her. "Care to enlighten me aru?"

"Well...it's not really too grand...just...when I heard that Aguinaldo had agreed to a bargain with Spain, I knew I had to be part of the deal one way or another so I voluntarily surrendered myself to my boss if he complies with my conditions."

"And I take it he agreed aru?" China took a sip of his jasmine tea.

"Yes, that he did. I told him that he'd have to exile himself in Hongkong and to leave some of his officers here. That way, when he's going to buy weapons, it would be easier. Hongkong is England's crown colony in trade. And the location is convenient, it's near here, and takes less than a week by ship. And the commodities are cheap. I bet he could live frugally on his own money to save much." Clara told him excitedly.

"How did you know he'll end up buying weapons? I thought you said he was exiled to end the revolution? You mean, he's still planning to come back aru?"

Clara laughed sheepishly, tapping the side of her mouth, "I'm the one who convinced the officers he left here that it was unfair that Aguinaldo left them with no money. And then I ratted them out to Aguinaldo and he seemed to think he had been betrayed by his own comrades and then he established the military junta with his fellow exiles."

China sighed, "As long as you don't try to kill yourself like last time, I'll let you do things your own way."

"But there's one thing I'm worried about. The United States of America seems to be planning a war against Spain. Have you heard any news about it?" she asked, taking a bite of the meat bun.

It was China's turn to smile sheepishly, "About that...I saw an American navy fleet stationed at Hongkong's harbour. And when I went to visit Hongkong, America was there with him and the kidnapper aru."

"Kidnapper? Ah, you mean England. Did America tell you anything?"

"Well...he mentioned he was there on orders by his president. He said he's just waiting there aru."

"Did he say anything about a war?" she enquired again.

China shook his head, "No aru. I think he's just acting on orders. But I suspected as much so I went out of my way to check for news aru. And I found out that his government has been lobbying to go to war with Spain for quite some time now. They're planning to use this opportunity to seize valuable territory aru." He looked seriously at her.

Clara ran a hand through her head in confusion. She didn't like where this was going. If the American fleet is in Hongkong then when war breaks out...they're going to get her. There's no other Spanish colony in Asia. Maybe Guam but he's in the Pacific. But shit...this couldn't be happening now. _Alfred, what are you thinking?_

"Is he your friend, the American, is he your friend aru?" China asked.

Clara nodded her head slowly, "Yes...and I don't know what he's trying to pull off with this..."

"I was deciding whether to show this to you or not," China pulled out another rolled up note from his sleeves and handed it to Clara, "Westerners had always been bad news aru. I didn't want you to associate with them but," he trailed off, "If you really think he's your friend then I'll let you be aru. He asked me to deliver this to you."

Clara accepted the note with trembling hands. She slowly unravelled it and read the contents. It seemed to have been written hastily.

To Clara

I talked with your boss. I will be coming for you soon. Stay strong.

Hero Alfred

She hid her face in her hands, "Oh god...please don't do this to me."

* * *

**Author's notes: Okay...because this is so late...sorry...everything's about to get complicated...and I'm having a hard time deciding how to make history move Hetalia style...**

**History facts(yes it's back)**

-The officers Aguinaldo left in the Philippines asked for money from the state a few days after he left, demanding their share of payment for the damages they had from the revolution. The state agreed, and when Aguinaldo learnt of this, he thought he was betrayed by his comrades and established the Hongkong junta from amongst the exiles with him.

-The last instalment of the money, to be given when the rebellion is utterly vanquished, was never given because well, even if Aguinaldo left, the people proceeded with the revolution as if nothing happened. They kept on fighting. This angered Aguinaldo too and he sought to break off further arrangements with Spain and ended up buying weapons.

-At 9:40pm on February 15 the _USS Maine_ sank in the harbor after suffering a massive explosion. While McKinley preached patience, the news of the explosion and the death of 266 sailors stirred popular American opinion into demanding a swift belligerent response.

- Most American leaders took the position that the cause of the explosion was unknown, but public attention was now riveted on the situation and Spain was unable to find a diplomatic solution to avoid war. It appealed to the European powers, **who all advised Spain to back down and avoid war**.

-The U.S. Navy's investigation, made public on March 28, concluded that the ship's powder magazines were ignited when an external explosion was set off under the ship's hull. This report poured fuel on popular indignation in the United States, making the war inevitable. Spain's investigation came to the opposite conclusion: that the explosion originated within the ship.

-On February 25, 1898, just ten days after the explosion, Roosevelt cabled Commodore George Dewey to take his fleet to Hongkong and there await further orders.

-The amended resolution demanded Spanish withdrawal and authorized the President to use as much military force as he thought necessary to help Cuba gain independence from Spain. President McKinley signed the joint resolution on April 20, 1898, and the ultimatum was forwarded to Spain(**in this story, this is the reason Spain left again**). In response, Spain broke off diplomatic relations with the United States and declared war on April 23. The next day, Congress declared that a state of war between the United States and Spain had existed since April 21.

-**As to why Clara was wary of America coming to the islands...it's because Aguinaldo too had been wary of them because they won't put into paper that they really won't colonize the Philippines...and later he would trust them, and so will Clara...only to be let down again...ouch...**


	13. In which the hero arrives: Part I

Malaysia was lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling. His captor had left him with nothing else to do other than dread the day she'll come back. And he didn't dare risk escaping the guards around her estate, even if it included a whole mountain. The house was situated in a clearing in the deep of the forest. It takes an hour to get to the nearest cemented road. Why the hell she put her house there, he had no idea. The last time he was actually staying voluntarily there, it was Clara's birthday.

After glaring at the lizard on the ceiling for a whole ten minutes, he took a deep breath, got himself off the bed and made his way downstairs. Might as well make himself some food, it's nearly night time.

He sat on the kitchen island, eating his meal when pain suddenly shot up his arm. He rolled his sleeves. His small patch of pintados tattoo was reddening, as if it was newly placed. Sabah is being attacked. Malaysia grimaced. She's really planning to take everything of his, starting with Sabah which they had fought over for years.

"Damn, so that's where she went." He rolled back his sleeves and continued eating. He needed a plan to escape back to his homeland, secure Brunei and fight back. Sabah is too close to Brunei, she might not be able to control the situation if her Sultan wishes to defend. He wants to come back to her and take back what he said.

Thinking about Brunei...he pushed back the plate of sliced fruit on the counter and stared at it as if it had offended him somewhat. He started worrying about her again. His sister never really told him anything more about Brunei's welfare but he had a feeling something's wrong. He can't help but fear for her.

He took out the black phone from his pocket and contemplated whether the call would get through this time. He hadn't tried to call her yet again after the last phone call. He suddenly asked himself why he didn't do so even after Clara was gone.

He looked around and saw that the nearest guard was at least a hundred feet away he could barely see them. He was sure no one else was in the house. Malaysia called Brunei's cell.

* * *

"I want navy troops advancing towards Vietnam at 0200 hours tomorrow. And start getting me inside information on Vietnam's military bases, didn't I already ask for that yesterday?" Philippines stormed inside the temporary command center in Sabah, glaring down her military general and some naval officers.

"Are we to invade upon arrival, commander?" a puzzled officer asked, though he's getting ready to move his ships out of the harbour as recently instructed.

Philippines rolled her eyes, "No. I just want you preventing her from flying over my head like earlier!" She had been quite agitated but relaxed when no fires were shot between the two of them...which also disappointed her a bit. It's too bad she wasn't carrying an anti-tank rifle at the time. She didn't want any loose ends, any chance they could sneak up on her is a chance they could turn the tables on her.

The officer saluted and walked out to prepare his sailors.

She made her way to the table in the center of the room where piles of reports and terrain maps were placed. She unravelled one such map and examined it. "Has the city been placed under Martial Law?" she began.

"Yes. We have announced the invasion. Unfortunately, the government officials have managed to hide and escape." The Navy commander answered. He had chased their escape cruiser earlier but they still manage to lose them. "They headed towards the direction of Kuala Lumpur."

Philippines just nodded, taking in the information. "That's still fine. I don't want to feed such prisoners."

"We're still arranging for local casualties to be buried, tomorrow we'll start the clean-up."

Philippines rolled her eyes at the man, "They're Muslim. They'd probably buried them already. Let the locals do that kind of stuff. Mind your own men." she went to the papers.

The Navy commander looked at the army general who just shrugged. They really can't complain on how she wanted things to run.

"Place a battalion here and here." Philippines commanded the general as they looked over the plans sprawled on the table. She eyed the nations of Vietnam and Thailand critically. She wants them down and she wants it soon. "Make sure you have a clear view of incoming enemy."

"How about the civilians?" the middle-aged general asked her. She only brought two generals and seven thousand soldiers for the invasion of Borneo but so far, casualties on her side had not amounted to even half a thousand yet.

Philippines scanned the terrains. There were many marked civilian villages along the way she had planned to break through to the southern part of the island. She doesn't want to take prisoners or even send them all to concentration camps. She wants to invade the whole island without decreasing its population alarmingly. "Just pass through the villages but if they offer resistance..." she told the general, "Don't hesitate to make them obey. We're not taking civilian prisoners. Kill all insurgents if they don't surrender."

The general swallowed before saying his last report, "Your father called when you were busy earlier." He informed her and ended up the one surprised with her uncaring expression. She also used to brighten up immediately at the mention of her father remembering to check on her.

"What did he say?" she did not even bother looking at the person she's talking to.

"He said he had to tell you personally so he asked to tell you to call him back as soon as possible."

"I don't have time for that." She answered briefly. She pursed her lips and searched through the pile of reports frantically, "Where's the report for the advanced unit I sent to round up the southern coast yesterday?"

"It's in here." The general handed her the designated folder, "I think you should call him sooner. He seemed really anxious to talk to you. He's your father after all." He advised her.

She dropped the report on the table and shot the older man a narrowed glare, "Do I look like I have the time to listen to his complaints about his boyfriend?"

The general blinked. Her father has a boyfriend? "No, ma'am. But I could recognize a worried father when I hear one." He asserted.

Philippines sighed and went back to her work, "Alright. I'll call him before I go to bed." Maybe she could have a start on Spain tonight, like she had done with America so he'd be entitled not to bother her for a moment while she thinks on a proper plan for them.

* * *

Philippines sat on the edge of her bed. They had occupied the house of one of the politicians who fled as a temporary lodging place. She flipped through her duffel bag and searched for her phone. She found her phone neatly placed at the bottom and started flipping through the messages and missed calls. There were twenty texts and ten missed calls from an increasingly panicky Antonio, a hate mail from Lovino, and two missed calls from her boss. And the most recent one was from Russia asking if she wanted any help. She erased that one without bothering to reply.

After laughing through Lovino's complaints about Spain, Philippines heard a familiar tune from inside her bag. After fishing for the elusive phone for a while, she picked up Brunei's phone and stared at the screen. Malaysia was calling.

She turned the phone off. Malaysia might make a connection if he knew that she has Brunei's phone. Maybe it was a wrong idea to leave them in the same house. With Brunei dying from hunger in a locked room while letting Malaysia snoop around. She turned back to her phone and called for the head of security at her house.

"_Yes,ma'am?"_ a female voice answered.

"I changed my mind. Go guard him inside the house. Don't forbid him to go to any room, except for _that_ one. I'm giving you the authority to punish him if he tries to get inside by force." She made a move to cut the conversation then remembered something.

"Hold on. I forgot to leave you orders but concerning the girl in the last room, go send a nurse to take care of her. Give her a bath and clean her room. But don't ever let her out or let the guy know what you are doing. I'd be back in a week." She finished.

With a yawn, she lied down on the canopied bad and went down through the names in contact list. She stopped at China's number but decided that it could wait until she could meet him personally. Instead she sent Uncle China a text stating that she wanted him to be at her house in a week's time if he was available.

She stopped again at Spain's number. She stared again for a while before calling. It kept on ringing and ringing. Philippines wondered if Lovino finally managed to knock him out or France and Gilbert took him to get drunk. It was a weekend even at the other side of the world.

Maybe having failed to answer his daughter's much-awaited return call might put off Spain for a few days before bothering her again. Or maybe he'd get more desperate. Philippines doubted the latter. How much is Antonio willing to care for an estranged daughter? They weren't really as close as they used to be even when Clara included learning Spanish in school four years back...

Philippines flipped through her contacts list again and stopped at America's number. A wicked feeling welled up in her mind which made her smile.

"I want to...mess you up some more."

* * *

Vietnam stood on the bridge of the battlecruiser, looking out at the Philippine naval ships parked just before her borders. The guts of the little girl to put only a few ships against Vietnam's whole fleet. They won't even stand a chance. And yet there they were, just within line of fire.

"The stupid girl is tempting me." Vietnam whispered to herself.

"You said something, ana?" a voice said behind her.

Vietnam turned around to see the Thai grinning at her, "Good morning, Vietnam. Nice day, isn't it?" he greeted before standing beside her near the railing.

"I didn't notice you jumping ship. You must have come from the back." She said. Thailand was there with some ships too when he heard that Philippine ships were already spotted near Vietnam's place. Malaysia's side of the island of Borneo must be already a pretty lost cause considering Thailand's also strengthening naval defence of the border he shares with Southern Borneo where his coast guard had spotted enemy vessels.

"I'd be returning by tonight, though. It seems Clara is planning to take me by South Borneo."

Vietnam narrowed her eyes, "Malaysian Borneo. Three days. That's about the fastest invasion I've heard of since World War two." She didn't really like to think of what measures Philippines were taking to ensure easy victory but she had some fighter planes look over Sabah two days ago and the whole place was like a ghost town. She wondered what happened to the civilians.

"Yes. She had Malaysia's boss fuming in rage. He fired the officials who fled from Sabah upon sight and ordered for all military operations to center on Kuala." He took off his glasses and wiped them on his shirt, "I'm expected to make my allegiance known sooner."

Vietnam nodded, "Were there any leads on Brunei's whereabouts?" she was worried. Just like Malaysia, they had lost all contact with her. She just disappeared like a bubble from her hotel room in Bangkok on the night before she was scheduled to return home. There were no records of her boarding other flights or any vehicle for that matter, even taxi drivers don't know.

Thailand's smile immediately dropped, "No. But there's only one place I've been thinking of the whole time and I'm still waiting for confirmation."

Vietnam let out a sigh, "Even if I don't trust her these days, I just can't imagine Clara harming Aryani, don't you think so, too?"

"I can't really say...though I'd like to think she's treated well. Clara has a reasonable treatment of prisoners of war, ana?" he answered.

Vietnam was not convinced. Brunei's boss was already itching to fight with the disappearance of his nation. Brunei's military power is quite formidable even if they are such a small country but...she's completely surrounded. What if Indonesia jumps into the fray suddenly and attacks her? She'd still be pulverized.

Speaking of which, "Had Indonesia done anything at all lately? He's completely off the news." She asked.

Thailand shook his head, "The man's quiet as ever, ana. I'm more afraid of him than Clara, in all honesty." He grinned again.

Vietnam allowed herself to smile, "That's hopeless. But I guess she wooed him to be her ally for that reason." Vietnam nodded towards the Philippine ships in the distance, "Don't you think she's getting too cocky lately?"

Thailand pouted, "Haven't been noticing. But since her troops are there, must mean she doesn't want you going beyond that point?"

"Wrong. It's not that. She placed them there to tempt me to attack. She wants me to start this war for her. She's already sure I won't get past my borders."

Thailand was silent for a moment before speaking again, "Now I see it. If you get on her borders, she'll kill you. If your breeze through Chinese borders with bomber planes, China might feel threatened and attack you, if you go around and attack from the Pacific, Indonesia has her back."

"She's practically made herself invincible." Vietnam concluded. "There's only one thing left that hasn't been cleared."

Thailand looked at her critically, "What is it?"

Vietnam leaned on the railings, "Why is she doing this just now? If she had been so angry this whole time, why now? There had been no signs, not even an event which could be enough motive. We've just accepted the fact that Philippines is moving for territorial dominion of SEA."

Thailand sighed, "People sometimes take actions others are not supposed to understand until it's over."

"And the reason?"

"More than half the time it's been done to protect others."

"Whatever it is, I'm not going to just sit quietly and wait until it's over." Vietnam let out an uncharacteristic smile, "Someone's got to show her that she's going about this the wrong way."

* * *

Canada glanced across the table at England calmly sipping tea even with France also preset in the room. It was unusual to see them together without a brawl going on...unless they're on the same side again. Which is not good too. But at least they both agreed that America should be booted out of his house soon. His brother was certainly just running away and was failing his duties.

"What are you two doing here?" America entered the dining area and sat farthest away from France, which was beside England.

England put down his teacup, "What are _you_ doing here?" he started. Though he had an inkling about Alfred's problem.

Alfred shrugged, "I didn't think it would bother everybody that I'm visiting this guy's house." He pointed rudely at his brother who scoffed back at him.

"Of course it does! There I am, working my ass off gathering information and you're just here, watching _Oprah_! What do you think is the world at now, you git?"

Alfred narrowed his eyes at his former mentor, "How does it concern me?"

The other three in the room looked at him disbelievingly, America, who usually thinks the universe revolves around him, is not concerned with world affairs? England could already sense the headache coming.

"Maybe I should have checked if he really had a loose screw first, don't you think?" Canada said.

"_L'amerique_, we came here to talk about taking certain precautionary procedures pertaining to suspicious activity between our friends Russia and China and possibly..." France was fixated on his next word, "Philippines." She's about the only trouble-maker in the world right about now. Aside from some private civil wars, Philippines is the only one warring with other nations, and it wasn't sanctioned by the United Nations to boot.

Even Alfred who's never without war for the last century hadn't been at war ever since he finished with Iraq and Afghanistan three years earlier.

"I'm not interested in your war. I'm keeping my peace." Alfred reasoned out.

England clicked his tongue, "_We_ can be not interested in this war." He retaliated, "However, you are very much the main player this time. I believe we're talking about Russia here. That messed-up giant will target you."

Alfred stood up and made to leave, "Whatever."

England had seen Alfred act like this before. Alfred really knows he would be forced to go to war. Then he'll refuse. Then something would happen that would leave no doubt in his mind but to get revenge and he'll come bursting into their ranks, acting like he's automatically leader of everyone else. Typical Alfred, he's so easy to read now that England had gotten used to how Alfred operates as a country. Why did he for just one moment thought that for once Alfred won't come fashionably late to an important war?

"_Un moment, L'amerique._" France suddenly called.

Alfred stopped by the door but did not bother facing France.

France excused Alfred's rudeness, "As part of the Security Council, me and Arthur had opted to cease economic ties with the Philippines to discourage her militarism." He eyed Alfred curiously, "We've asked China and Russia and they both refused to address the matter. What about you?"

Alfred fisted his hands on his sides. He knew that! He should discourage her too, that was the right thing to do. He knew he shouldn't let her hurt herself. He knew he should help her. He knew that he couldn't help her. He knew that he can't break off with her. There's too much in between them that he just can't throw away.

Alfred gritted his teeth, "I've already broken my promise with her to help her against her enemies," the other three knew he was pertaining to the Mutual Defense Treaty and that Alfred's boss refused to have him act on it in favour of answering the Russian threat, "I'm only allowed to keep economic ties with her at the very least." He answered. He hated the word 'at the very least'. Why couldn't it have been 'the very best'?

"And yet _vous_ can't come to terms with your own course of action?" France added.

Alfred found himself nodding grimly. He faced France and England and looked at them with all the frustration he felt since he came there, "In every war, in every little thing, she supported me, risked her own safety to heal my wounds, and I was always thinking how perfect it would feel if one day I'm the one who's risking my life to help her, how awesome I must look in her eyes. She'd say I'm a 'hero', and I'd never believed anything more than I believe those simple words from her."

A heavy air hung around the room as America tried to suppress his bursting anguish but couldn't. He had treated these people as close friends, and two of them were his brothers. He can't help it anymore, he'd only been thinking to himself for the past few days and he himself thought it was driving him crazy. "And now that it matters, all I could offer her is retainment of economic ties. Economic ties? How the fuck is that gonna save her? It's like tossing her a thread!" his next words came out bitterly, "And that could be broken easily, and then there'd be nothing at all connecting us. I'm afraid she'll drift away from me." With another sad look, he left the house.

England watched his younger brother and pitied him. Philippines never made a move to ask for assistance from the United States of America in her current war. He hoped Alfred was also aware of that.

"Do you think it's okay to leave him alone?" Matthew asked, now truly worried about his brother's behavior.

England mulled over things silently in his head. "He's mature enough to take care of himself." He said. Alfred will be coming back later brighter than ever or heavily drunk. Whichever the case, Arthur won't be able to do anything about Alfred's problem.

"_Anglettere_, there's something-," France started.

"Shut up, frog. I know a liability when I see one." England frowned, staring at the cold tea in front of him. "But that doesn't change anything."

France smiled contentedly, "A hundred years and he still hasn't resolved it, just what I'd expect from a brother of yours, excluding my dear Matthew, of course."

"Francis." Matthew reprimanded.

France held his hands up as if in surrender, "I'm just saying, we better resolve this soon before someone takes advantage of him. It's quite easy to, the way I see it."

Arthur wanted to disagree with Francis out of habit but this time he knew he was right. "There's a U.N meeting two months from now at my place. We'll settle things there."

* * *

**April 23, 1898 – dawn of May 1, 1898**

Following Aguinaldo's surrender of the revolution, the people were not in the least perturbed about the lack of a sole national leader. Provincial leaders stepped forward here and there, taking charge of the revolution in their own fragments that by the time the Americans would arrive, the local revolutionaries had already taken back the whole island except the walled city of Manila.

In the months between Biak-na-bato and Aguinaldo's return, the Filipinos bravely continued their campaign for freedom, unaware that across the seas, budding imperialists plans to take away their right to independence.

All that Clara wanted to do when they got back to the palace was to sleep away the dread that was filling her inside completely and makes her want to throw up. Alfred and Antonio had been dragged into a war, and the Americans are planning to go after her, most likely to fight off the Spaniards. And then what? She knew they would lose. She was so sure of it. Once the Americans are in the islands, what would they do?

_Alfred…_her mind was running at an amazing speed. It was like when she was a child and she was watching Spain take over her land…losers had to give up everything, winners take them all.

The next day she went to see her governor and ask what they were up to.

She knocked on the office door, and waited impatiently. She could hear angry shouts from inside. The governor and his comrades appear to be arguing about something she's yet to know. The argument stopped when she was allowed to enter. Rivera was on his feet and seemed to be in argument with the Spanish navy commander Montojo.

"Ah, Senorita Clara, what is it now?" Rivera sat down on his seat and the other people in the room went back to the seats they had vacated in heat of the fight.

Rubbing her sweaty palms together, Clara made her way to the governor's desk, suddenly feeling awkward from the eyes of the old men at her, "I was just wondering about what you are doing in case, you know, the Americans attack." She said in a low voice, prompting the governor to lean closer just to hear her.

The governor sighed, "We are strengthening the fortifications and deciding where to engage the enemy in battle once they arrive." He answered calmly.

"I see." Clara nodded, "So…can I ask where you're planning to wait for them?"

"I was suggesting that they do the fighting at Sangley Point in Cavite but Admiral Montojo here wants to engage them at Subic bay up north. He's already sent men to mine Subic." Rivera's speech oozed venom at the Admiral.

"I told you we should take the fighting as far away from this city as possible! Subic is the best choice!" Montojo argued.

"We are already out of time! The Americans are already on their way here and will be here before you could complete those goddamn mines! May I remind you that we are still fending off the insurrectos? If you fight near here, the battery stations could help you return fire!" another official shouted back.

"Yes, but the point is to keep this city intact, that was the standing order!" another fired.

"The shallow waters at Cavite would make it easier for your men to get ashore if you sank!" the governor retaliated.

Clara quietly left the room and went back to her own.

She sat up in bed, scanned her room and finding a pen and piece of paper, wrote down a simple message to Aguinaldo. Maria was already down in the kitchen, still moping about what she said earlier. She got up and went to find her. She needed to contact Aguinaldo.

"Maria! Where are you? Maria!" she called as she entered the kitchen and did not find Maria there. Clara sighed and pushed the back door open, and looking around, found Maria fanning herself in the _lanai_. "There you are!" she said as she ran up to the older woman.

Maria gave her a dirty look, "What is it, little brat?" she said, irritated, fanning herself faster.

"Do you know if there's a telegraph line from here to Hongkong?" Clara asked.

Maria's angry expression mellowed a bit as she browsed her memory, "I think I once accompanied the governor to open a telegraph line from that place…I think it was somewhere in Northern Zambales…it was recently overtaken by rebels though."

"Great. Go there for me." Clara said quickly.

"What? Are you nuts? There's a war going on outside and you're asking me to leave the safest place on Earth?" Maria interjected, "What am I going to do there anyway? I mean, why don't you go yourself?"

Clara clicked her tongue impatiently, "Don't complain, just do it. And I want you to send a telegraph to Aguinaldo."

"What? Do you know what the governor would do to me if I get caught in possession of such a letter? He'll hang me! By my toes!" Maria hissed angrily, closing her fan and pointing it at her toes.

"No, he wouldn't! And it would be better if you get out of here, this is the palace, not the safest place on Earth. Invaders always go for the big houses, don't you know that?" Clara retaliated, pulling on the reluctant older woman's arm.

"Alright, I will! Stop pulling on my sleeve like a baby!" Maria angrily swatted the other's hand away. "Now where is this letter you're talking about?" she then started grumbling curses about stupid nations and whatnot.

"Here." Clara pulled out a letter. "Have them telegraph this. And wait for the answer. I'll tell them I sent you on vacation or better yet, I fired your sorry butt out." She chuckled.

Maria grabbed the letter and hastily put it in her skirt's pocket. "You better pray this works, lady brat."

"Yeah yeah. Thanks, Maria. Pack your bags now." Clara pushed Maria out of the kitchen and went on her way to see her governor. She found him on the lobby, still arguing with the departing Montojo. It seems Montojo really wants to go to Subic. She waited for Montojo to leave before waiting for the governor at the top of the stairs

"There you are. I was about to call for you." The governor said as he grabbed Clara's wrist and pulled her down the stairs.

"Wait! Where are you taking me?" she yelled as she struggled to get out of the governor-general's firm grasp on her arm.

"Fort Santiago. You'll be safe there once the enemy bombards the walls." He said as he pushed her inside a calesa and told the driver to hurry up.

"I thought the admiral is taking the fight to Subic?" she retaliated, struggling out of the tight hold. She had a feeling she had been through this before.

"Yes, he thinks that. But I bet he'll be back here once he realizes that Subic won't be ready on time."

Once she properly situated herself on her seat, she glared at Rivera, "And what are you planning to do? Sell me again once you find yourselves surrounded?"

Rivera snorted at her before looking away, "I'm a politician, not a bishop. I believe we do have a difference in principles."

"Yeah, but not for much longer." She turned to look at the walls as they passed by. Soldiers were running up and down, carrying cannon balls and more guns. She wondered about the point of protecting a small walled city while everything outside has already been taken. She didn't get to tell Maria where to find her. But Maria will find her eventually.

Once they were inside the fortress, she was led to the church at the back, overlooking the Pasig river. "We'd block the river. I'd send someone to take you away if ever the navy don't hold out." He told her fervently.

Clara stared at the man. He's deliberately treating her like a damsel in distress. She scoffed. This is not a fairy tale and she's not a puny little weakling princess. She's just waiting for the right time to strike. If she could work the Americans' attack to her advantage, she will. But for now, she had to lie low.

Well informed of what could be going through her mind when the girl's silent, the governor added, "Don't do anything stupid now, like trying to run away on your own, as much as I hate my job, I respect Senor Antonio and therefore I will do everything in my power to keep you from harm. So for the love of god, I'm begging you, don't do anything that would add to my worries, like jumping from that height." He pertained to the ledge. Clara snorted.

"Like I'd be of any help anywhere. Just leave me alone. I'll be fine here. If Maria comes back to the palace, send her to accompany me here. Until then, I'll be waiting." She said.

The governor assured her that it will be done without getting suspicious about where Maria was coming in from. "Then I will leave you here." And with one last look, he left her.

* * *

Years before the actual battle, the American military had been preparing for a war scenario with Spain. George Dewey's Asiatic Fleet consisted of only four ships. His flagship was the cruiser _USS Olympia_. The other ships were the USS _Boston_, a small cruiser; USS _Petrel_, a gunboat; and the USS _Monocacy,_ a paddle wheel steamer. Alfred knew he didn't have much with him when he was cabled to set sail for Hongkong and await further orders.

With Germany seizing the _Tsingtao_, Alfred's remained the only Far East navy fleet without a local base. And one of his major problems is his allotment of ammunition. They were severely inadequate. He can't very well attack Spain's major Pacific colony with only sixty percent of his magazines filled. And that's after he got some last minute backup addition of support vessels.

"What the bloody hell are you still doing here?" an irritated familiar voice said behind him. Alfred found England standing beside him with his arms folded over his chest and looking out to sea. "Your company's already on Mirs Bay." Mirs Bay is 30 miles away and Alfred's fleet had been there once the declaration of war was issued. Hongkong must remain neutral or else he might be dragged into it too.

"I'd take the speed boat when they're ready." Alfred laughed nervously, "You think Clara will be happy to see me? It's been so long since we had any contact. What if she takes this the wrong way?"

He got a punch to the arm, "Don't give me that bullshit! Yesterday you were so excited you wet your pants!" England smirked.

Alfred grimaced in pain, rubbing the sore spot, "Heroes do not wet their pants. Someone...spilled their coffee on me." he went back to looking out to sea, "You going in?"

Arthur scoffed, following his gaze, "Like hell I'm just going to sit back and watch the Iberian bastard's sad excuse for an empire crumble at the sidelines. Of course I won't miss out on the fun, idiot. I have a feeling the frog's chipping in his two cents too."

"He is? I thought he wanted Spain to back down?" Alfred wondered.

Arthur gave him a look, "You should know better than that, young lad. This war is going to knock Spain from orbit and place you," he pointed at Alfred, "as an advent major player in the world."

Alfred dismissed him casually, "Naw. I'm not going there to take over Spain's place. I'm going there to rescue, a hero on his way to save the lady." He chuckled, "I thought we established it already that I'm not like you."

Arthur sighed, "Look, before I send you off to a heartbreak, let me tell you this: It never was a kind world, Alfred and it never will be." He told him with certainty, "If you go and win a war, you better accept the fact that you have the greater power. And if you have greater power, that will make a difference. And if you have a difference, well, idiot, you have yourself another fucking war with the idiots who don't understand you."

"And I'm telling you, I'm a hero! Get that past your eyebrows and into your brain!" Alfred answered stubbornly, "And I refuse to let the eagle lay its talons on another land!" the very idea does not sit with him well ever.

Arthur snorted, "Right, tell that to the imperialist America." He made to leave, "I won't stand in your way if you want to take her, I don't fancy troublesome countries who already know how to rebel."

"There's no such thing as imperialist America, Arthur. You must have heard wrong. I'm a hero."

"Yeah, yeah. Like I didn't hear you for the last thousand times. Tell you what, I don't care what you do there, but don't pull out a stunt and get yourself killed, Matthew's gonna cry."

Alfred chuckled at him, "Who's Matthew? But anyway, thanks Mom, I'll also remember to eat my vegetables!"

"You better remember to clean after yourself too! I'm not helping you!" Arthur stomped away but not after telling America with the help of very colourful words where exactly to go.

* * *

It was already April 30 before Maria saw Clara again.

"What did he say?" she asked as they sat on the first pews inside the small church Clara had been brought into some day ago by the governor.

Maria eyed her curiously, "Why the hell did you pick this place to spawn your evil deeds?"

Clara sighed, "Give me a break, Maria. I'm not doing anything wrong. Now, the letter."

Maria handed her the letter she wrote reluctantly as it was translated to her from cable, "It was easy convincing them to cable it. But Senor Aguinaldo was pretty indispatched at the moment. I think he was in Singapore. Anyway, they managed to contact him and he answered this."

Clara read the contents. Aguinaldo had indeed talked with America. And was assured that America had no intention of colonizing the archipelago since America has no use for colonies and is not aiming for such power. She breathed out a sigh of relief. If America said so himself, she'll believe him. Even if Aguinaldo said he had reservations because the Americans had not put it in paper with the reason that his word is as solid as that of the American people. And that America is planning to back her revolution for independence against Spain.

She frowned. Her revolution is already on its final phases. Without the help of foreigners nor the Illustrados, her people had managed to win almost the whole island back except for Manila. She was aware that the Spaniards are close to panicking. They didn't expect guerrilla warfare to be effective.

Her masses were not to be underestimated. They were the reason she was allowed to hope.

Does she really need America's help? It's too late to tell them that now. The letter said the Americans were on their way and would be arriving soon. Aguinaldo is planning to return soon and take up the mantle of revolution again.

They heard the distant tolling of the bells in Manila Cathedral. It's nearly night time. An altar boy entered and illuminated the church before excusing himself. Clara watched him leave before turning back to Maria, "Do you have any news of your son?" she asked thoughtfully.

Maria crinkled her nose and smiled knowingly, "I've been told he's in Laguna busying himself with organizational work and is in fact very angry at a certain lady for leaving without permission and ignoring his feelings if I may say so."

Clara nodded, "If it's any consolation to you, I see him as one of my real friends." She said, putting the letter on the pew beside her, "I'm glad he's still safe."

"Of course he is!" Maria exclaimed proudly, "He's my son. He's got an affinity for life, unlike the two of us."

Clara chuckled, "I believe that. Do you think if we all get out of this nasty war alive, he'd still insist that we get married?"

"I wish he wouldn't. To be honest, I don't want you as a step-daughter. Do you even have the ability to get pregnant?"

Clara felt her cheeks heat up at the prospect, she never really thought about pregnancy...or even the things that could lead to one. She shook her head, "I don't know. So far, all the people like me I've seen are men. And I certainly won't ask the Frenchman, even if he looks quite knowledgeable in matters like that."

"Why? Is he a doctor?"

"No. But Arthur said to avoid him because I might get pregnant with a look."

"Oh, he is a lecher."

"Unfortunately. Though I think you'd find him classy when you see him...at a distance. I liked his city." Clara mused, remembering when she used to go around Paris with Rizal.

"I see, is he the person you like then, why you won't return my son's feelings?" Maria asked curiously.

Clara's face had a look of disgust, "No!" she said adamantly, "Eww...he's like...as old as Padre. He's out of the question! God..."

"Then you do like someone! Oh come on, tell me, it's not like your Padre might hear us." Maria poked her arm.

Clara shimmied away, "A cannon ball could come flying through the roof and kill us both and you want to know such...such trivial things?"

Maria chuckled at the girl's flustered expression, "Oh, come on! I'm just curious...and it does take my mind off worrying about that cannon ball so just spill or I'll start panicking!" she demanded seriously.

Clara pouted and started walking around the altar to get her mind off anticipating the church to cave in at any moment, "I don't like anyone like that!" she put her hands on her hips, "Well, I like tons of people. My people, my revolutionaries...Padre...I...I like everyone." She smiled brightly.

Maria raised a questioning brow, "Even the American? You were so shaken when you learned he's going to war with your father."

"It's a war, of course I'd be shaken!" she waved her hand dismissively, "And I don't like him like that..." she faced away, "He's a friend."

Maria grinned at her reaction, "Oooh...someone's in denial. Come on, how was he?" she pushed.

Clara threw her a dark look, "I told you, this is not the time, Maria! Let's talk about this some other time." She insisted, walking on the aisle on her way out. "Let's go have dinner."

Maria trailed after her, still teasing, "Ah, you haven't gone anywhere with him yet. Too bad, I kind of expected you to be like your Padre. But I guess you're just really not even half as passionate as they say he is."

Clara glared at her before pushing the large oak doors open and walking into the cold night air, "Don't talk about my Padre like that. He's already got someone." She rolled her eyes as they went to the small house at the back of the church where the priest stayed before being moved in favour of Clara hiding there. The altar boys just checks in on the church from time to time.

"He does?" Maria wondered. "Who?"

Clara smiled, "It's not something you would understand right now."

Maria bit her lip, "Damn...I wish I'm immortal too. I used to fancy your father a great deal when I was in my teens."

"That I understand," Clara chuckled, "Padre is the best guy, is he not?"

"Yeah. As long as he doesn't see you, in my eyes he is."

* * *

"We're entering Boca Grande, Captain, sir. The squad is just awaiting orders to start assault." A lower officer informed Alfred. Alfred dismissed him with a wave and proceeded to don his brown military uniform and fix his hair. He let out a yawn, stealing a look at the wall clock. It was one hour before midnight of April 30.

He picked up his bomber jacket from the chair he perched it on and made his way out on deck. He found Commander Dewey standing on the vessel's open bridge, staring out at the dark sea. He could see the lights of the harbour in the far distance. The first time he had set eyes upon the islands. All he ever heard about was the reports on the fortifications and the locations of the batteries courtesy of his consul to Spanish Filipinas. There were some nice comments about the natural beauty of the islands but he already knew that when he first met Clara. How he wanted to break down those suffocating walls for her.

He saluted before standing beside the calm old man who acknowledged his country with a nod, "So...are we stopping for the night or are we gonna take them now?" he asked, "I do prefer fighting with my enemies wide awake."

"Of course you do, boy. But they should know they are in a war, they should be prepared at all times." Dewey told him calmly, "I haven't heard a single gun fire and I believe we are already at shooting range."

"I'm aware of that. But they must have mined this entrance if they're so lax about security." He's a bit surprised nothing's blown up yet considering he is already way past colonial borders.

Dewey chuckled, linking his hands behind him, "I doubt mines would stand a chance in tropical waters. They deteriorate rapidly in these types."

After passing the El Fraile battery with little trouble, they continued on across Manila Bay.

"The Spanish squadron must be in Manila." Dewey said to Alfred.

Alfred nodded, "We can't waste artillery by firing in the dark. I'll have them adjust the fleet's speed so we'd arrive at dawn." With another salute, he left the commander in the bridge to inform the captain of the necessary adjustments.

An officer cut him off before he entered the cock pit, "Captain, sir, Admiral Kirkland of the British Royal cabled and wanted to inform you that Germany had moved his ships from Tsingtao and is heading towards Manila."

* * *

Wahahaha...I find it funny thinking that the boys are all coming together now...

History facts:

-Dewey knew that the Spanish fleet could be found at its major Pacific colony, the Philippine Islands, about 710 miles away. No U.S. navy vessel had visited the island in twenty-two years, and there was limited intelligence available. Some information on Spanish strength and fortifications was gathered through earlier commerce, and from the U.S. Consul Oscar Williams, who remained in Manila until the last minute.

-Commander Dewey did not even have an adequate peacetime allotment of ammunition. Dewey was able to contrive a plan for obtaining additional supplies, some of which arrived the night before the squadron sailed from Mirs Bay. Despite this feat of logistics, Dewey still went into battle on May 1 with only sixty percent of his magazines filled.

-Meanwhile, the Spanish were preparing for the arrival of the Americans by making various modifications to their fortifications, and by mining Subic Bay. The Spanish commander Admiral Montojo initially wanted to fight at Subic, but with the Americans on their way and little time to mount an adequate defense of Subic, Montojo took his squadron back to Manila Bay. Montojo opted for the shallow waters off Cavite's Sangley Point rather than the comparative safety of Manila Bay to avoid the likely bombardment of the city. The shallow waters meant that the men could more easily get ashore if their ships sunk.

-Dewey falsely believed that the Boca Grande entrance to Manila Bay had not been mined. He was likely correct in his reasoning that if the entrance had been mined, the mines would likely deteriorate rapidly in the tropical waters. Dewey's squadron entered Boca Grande at about 11:00 P.M. After passing the El Fraile battery with little trouble, they continued on across Manila Bay. Dewey expected to find the Spanish squadron at Manila, and adjusted the fleet's speed to arrive at dawn.

-**okay before we all get confused. At the Spanish-American war in the Philippines, there were five nations at Manila Bay. Spain's fleet-**because they're defending**, America-**because he's the one at war**, UK- **because he's behind America saying something like 'Hell yeah, go take Philippines, i don't care but I'll be there!',** France-**I read in some history book that he was at war with Spain at that time,** Germany-**he's landing supplies for the Spanish. I think that's it.


	14. In which the hero arrives: Part II

**Please be patient with me. I'd be updating a lot this don't worry. I just have to type. But that's after my Math pre-finals...so wish me luck that I'd get exempted from taking the final exam. So bear with me. Thank you for reading my musings.**

* * *

The recent events were a blur to her.

Her memory constantly faded and she was not able to retain a single thing.

She rejected the reality she saw with her own eyes.

She closed her eyes and it still played inside her mind.

Screaming…she could hear screaming. Children and women.

Fire. Scorching fire. The awful stench of burnt flesh.

The sickening smell of gunpowder…

And the blood…always the blood.

There was nowhere to hide. There was nowhere safe. The shackles were closing in on her fast.

She ran. She stumbled. She crawled. She needed to get away.

She can't be caught. She can't let herself be caught. Not now. Not ever.

The shadows grabbed at her. Tearing her clothes. Clawing at her wounds. Striking her weaknesses.

She screamed. _No no no no no. I won't let you!_

The ghosts were chasing her, whispering to her. Telling her to run and keep running.

_The moment she saw his face, a white haze covered her eyes._

She could not see anything clearly. The world became a blur and it was like she was dunked under water. Where she became numb…unable to feel anything. She saw him and she was instantly cut off from reality. Like someone suddenly pushed her emotions back to the recesses of her mind. He was smiling at her. She could feel it. But she can't see. Not clearly.

_Clara, it's alright now. I'm here._

But who is he? She can't remember who he was.

* * *

She didn't remember how many days passed since she started lying there. She sometimes woke up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat, her throat parched from screaming. An elderly woman would then rush to her side and hold her until she went back to sleep. What was it? What did she dream of? What was she so afraid of?

When she wakes up in the middle of the day, there would be a man sitting on the chair at the foot of her bed, smiling at her. He must be a foreigner…with his white skin and blonde hair and bright blue eyes. He was rambling, but she couldn't understand him. He'd call out her name repeatedly. Who are you? Why are you here? Why am I here?

She'd black out again. And she'd be back in the haze. Where there was endless screaming. And the ghosts. She knew them. She was with them. But who were they again?

When she woke up again it was night again. The elderly woman was sewing cloth while sitting in a rocking chair in the middle of the room. She sat up and watched her silently until the woman noticed her and hurried over to her side.

_Clara, are you alright? Do you need anything? Here, have some water first._

She took the glass of water and emptied it quickly. The woman sighed.

_You had us all worried. What's happening to you?_

She shook her head. _I don't know. I can't remember._

There was a knock on the door. The elderly woman called to whoever it was behind the door to come in. The door opened to reveal the foreigner who she saw one time when she woke up. He greeted her and the elderly woman a good evening. She greeted him back. He became ecstatic after hearing her voice.

_Clara, good, you're up. I thought I'd drop by and see how you're doing since you didn't seem well for the past month now. Do you need anything? Want me to get you something to eat? Anything you want, just say it. _

_Thank you_, she said. Or did she really?

_Actually, I'm going to Paris, France for a week to meet with Spain. Would you like to come with me? _

_I don't think she is well enough to travel yet, Mr. Jones. _The elderly woman answered for her.

He looked at her sadly. She was suddenly overwhelmed with sleep. She was starting to have difficulty keeping her eyes opened. She yawned.

_I see. I'm leaving in the morning and I won't be back until after the New Year's…so I guess…I'd leave her care to you._

_You could rest assured that she'll be taken care of, Mr. Jones. _

He smiled at her once again before he left. She collapsed on the bed, trying to keep her eyes open. Trying to remember.

_Who is he?_

The elderly woman looked at her disbelievingly.

* * *

**December 10, 1898**

**Paris, France**

"_Bonjour,L'Amerique_! How do you feel on this fine day?" Francis beckoned the younger nation with his arms wide open.

"Hey, Francis. Are we all here?" Alfred asked.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, they've already started. But I took the liberty to wait for you…since my Spanish friend is not in the mood for fine French entertainment today." France ushered America through the door. There were three chairs left out for them near the center table where the diplomats from America, France and Spain were arranging the minutes of the meeting.

Alfred gulped at the sight of the Spaniard. The older man was sitting in the middle of the three chairs, with his head bowed and his hands fisted on his lap. Alfred and Francis cannot see the expression on his face but they could tell from the ominous aura he projects that he probably wasn't up to any disturbance.

The two of them nervously sat by his sides, ready to make a run in case the Spaniard snaps. He's probably the only one with losses to count in this treaty so the two of them could not even begin a conversation with him.

The moment the meeting ended, and the treaty signed, Antonio scrambled out of the room before Alfred and Francis noticed from all the commotion. He had already slammed the door when they noticed and the two decided to follow him.

"I need to talk with him." Alfred said as they walked through the hallways, looking for a certain Spaniard.

"I never saw him take a loss this badly before." Francis sincerely worried for his friend.

They spotted Antonio in the gardens, sitting on a bench, staring at the sky. The ominous aura had gone and the two almost hesitated to go near him. But Alfred made up his mind. Antonio had to understand that what America did was not wrong.

"I'd stay here." Francis said and he turned his back at the American, leaning against the pillar with his arms crossed, "It's just between the two of you."

Alfred nodded then walked up to the quiet Spaniard. He barely opened his mouth when Antonio seemed to come out of a stupor, and in a split second, had landed a punch on Alfred. They both fell to the ground in a heap. Francis made to step into the garden but changed his mind and just let the Spaniard beat up America.

Alfred struggled to push off the violent Spaniard but to no avail. The older man had some strength left in him to land blows on him. "Wait! Stop! I can ex-! Shit! I said wait-!"

But Antonio kept punching him. He could never forgive this man. "You little piece of shit! It's not enough that you dragged my empire into the mud, but you just had to take them away! You just had to take _her_ away!"

It was then Alfred knew that it wasn't just America and Spain involved in this fight. There were also Antonio and Clara. Alfred finally pushed the Spaniard off him and put a few feet between them. He wiped the blood trickling from his busted lip and watched the fuming Spaniard get ready to pummel him again. "She was already seceding from you! I just gave her the freedom to do what she wants with her country!"

The other looked at him disbelievingly, "Are you stupid? There's no way you just want to give her freedom! You're going to make her your colony!"

It was Alfred's turn to look at him incredulously, "I am not! The United States of America is not an imperialist nation! There's no way a country based on democracy can take a colony! Why can't you understand that?"

Antonio grabbed America by the collar, "Don't take me for a fool. It's not that kind of world, America. What you just did is buy yourself a colony so you can force your fucking ideals on her! Don't go thinking you're different from the rest of us, because at the end of the day, you're just one of England's little runts!"

That was when Alfred had enough and next thing he knew, he had punched the Spaniard with his full strength which could have sent a normal person flying. But the man just staggered back, panting. "I am not going to be like England. I'm America, the land of the free! What's so wrong about me?"

Antonio glared at him, "I was never once good friends with England. But I saw how hard he took losing you, and I secretly reveled in his misery. I never thought I'd see the day I'd empathize with that bastard. Look what helping cast you out into the world had brought upon me. I should have killed you when I had the chance!"

Silent tears fell down the Spaniard's eyes and the man instantly wiped at them furiously, "_You_-you have no idea…just how much it hurts…when that precious person is nowhere to be found."

And then he left Alfred without another word.

Alfred just stared after the man, thinking to himself that there's just no reaching him. He guesses it was just that nations like Antonio and Arthur never really understands democracy.

Antonio did not bother looking back and just continued making his way outside the building when a hand on his shoulder stayed him. He turned to snap at the annoyance when something cold and hard was pressed to his cheek. He winced. "Oh. It's just you, Francis."

France frowned at his friend but continued to press the ice compress on the other's swollen cheek. "You look bad."

Antonio grimaced, "Not as bad as America. "

Francis smiled, "Well, then he should get someone to take care of him. My hands are full."

"Nah, let it snap him out of his delusions. Maybe he'll finally learn something today."

"I'd follow up on him later though. God knows he has yet to make a friend."

Antonio shrugged and took the ice pack from Francis. The two continued out of the building, "Hey, do you remember what I told you when I was undecided about what to do with Las Islas Filipinas?"

"You mean, at that baptismal?"

"_Si_."

* * *

It was the first time Antonio left Clara alone. He had been staying at Cebu for five years when he got news that his queen had given birth to a new prince. He was asked to go home to be godfather at the christening as was custom. He was reluctant to leave Clara with less guard but because he was obliged to, he had to come back to Europe. Just one look at her small frame and Antonio can't bear to show her what Europe is like.

At the christening, he was playing with the baby in its cradle when Francis came to his side to give his blessings. Antonio picked up the child and held him for Francis to see. "I bet he'd grow up to be a noble young man."

"I might have a lady suitable for him in the future, if you get my drift. But before that, let me give you my regards and our mutual friend Gilbert also sends out his greetings and apologies for being too busy to attend. But he did say that in return, he'll try to invade your vital regions when your prince becomes a king."

"Haha, thanks. Tell Gilbert I'd still kick his ass at that time."

Francis grinned, "Now that formalities are out of the way, tell me, my friend, where on earth have you been for five long years?" He slapped the other man on the back, "You sure took your time off!"

Antonio put his prince back in the cradle. The two walked into the veranda. The cold night air greeted them. Antonio took a deep breath. He missed home. He missed Clara.

The two leaned on the banisters and took glasses of wine from a passing servant. When the two had settled, they resumed talking.

"I was on my way to the Spice Islands, but on the way, I somehow landed on this archipelago. The islands were rich and each was beautiful and breathtaking."

"Was it? Perhaps have you found-," France raised an eyebrow.

"It was a cute little girl." Spain spread his arms," She was just this small when I found her. And she's got black hair, brown eyes and brown skin. And she follows me around like a puppy. Oh man, she's the cutest! Oh my little Clara, how Padre wants to see you!"

France took a sip of his wine. The Spaniard kept on babbling about his newfound kid and France can't follow. The Spaniard looked every bit a doting father. Francis had no idea what Antonio was so damn giddy about. The little princess must be a real gem compared to the bed-wetting Romano.

Antonio's hype suddenly died down in the middle of his speech, "But I don't think I have the confidence to keep this up anymore. I mean, she's so far, almost half the world away! Actually, I'm obligated by my treaty with Portugal to leave her alone."

France raised a brow, "Has he placed his stake on her?"

Antonio nodded, "He actually visited me personally. We had a row. I don't know what compelled me to fight for her when I should have just handed her over. She's not mine to keep. But for some reason, I really want to take care of her."

"HA! The only thing you and that greasy eyebrow are capable of is destroying things. To take care of someone by your own hands, you have no such capability! Will you dare touch that beloved child with the hands you've soaked in her people's blood? Woe to the innocent who would love a two-faced murderous liar!" Francis raised his glass and laughed.

Antonio placed his glass on the banister and looked at his hands. Will he really dare? He remembered the times he made her laugh and smile. "Have you ever felt like you're saved when someone smiles at you? Like all you can do is be kind and gentle…?"

Francis looked at him incredulously. Now he really believes his friend is totally bonkers. "What the hell have you been doing all this time…I mean, really. I've always thought you were a little messed up in some areas, but my good man, tell me, what the hell are you talking about? Salvation, smiles. You're treading on dangerous territory if I may say so. Remember that she's just your colony. Don't go deluding yourself that you've found a family. We don't have families."

Spain drained his glass and smirked at France, "We haven't even seen half the land in this world. What I've learned this past few years is that 'thank God the world isn't just about us'. If what I can assume as 'my family' is half a world away then I guess the only sane place in this world is there, too."

France stared at him for a moment before tossing back his own wine, "Whatever rocks your boat. Let's talk about the 'New World' Europe's been itching about instead because I'm tired of listening to your familial crap."

Spain just laughed. "Maybe someday you'll understand." He patted his friend on the back.

France snorted in derision.

* * *

Thinking back it was only when he lost Canada to England did he realize what a fool he had been not to recognize it back then. Only after going through something so painful did he begin to understand such bonds that could never be broken. The only bond for people like them.

The two turned a corner and almost slipped on ice. They just laughed it off as they continued walking.

"Ironic, isn't it? I've lived for hundreds of years, yet this is the first time I actually felt a sense of accomplishment. The first time I feel like I'm changing. That my life suddenly went too fast. The first time I ever looked forward to what the future has in store for me. Silly, isn't it?" Spain grimaced.

France shook his head, "No, it's not silly at all. Looking forward to the future would make it a happy one. Would you like me to make a prediction for you, mon ami?"

Spain chuckled, "Hit it, Francis."

Francis grinned, "Here's what I think would happen, mon ami. Someday, you'll meet again. This time, with genuine smiles on your faces. She'd call you 'Papa' or 'Papi' or 'Daddy', whichever works. You'd be a real family. It would be like these things never happened. And then you'd- _Merde_! Why is your nose bleeding?" Francis fumbled his coat pockets for his handkerchief and handed it to the Spaniard clutching his bleeding nose.

"Pa…! Papi is too cute!" Spain blurted out.

Francis hit him upside the head, "Here I am thinking that America has gone too far and you were just wallowing in your flowery fantasies!"

Spain laughed, "You're the one who put the idea in my head, idiot."

Francis sighed, "Well, are you going back to say goodbye?"

Antonio smiled sadly as he remembered the times he sneaks out of the house in the middle of the night so that he wouldn't have to face her before he leaves, "With the way she looks at me, who'd want to say goodbye?"

There was silence as they trudged up the steps towards a bar they frequented with Gilbert, who was standing like an idiot outside the door in the cold. "They wouldn't let me in unless I have company! Talk about treating the awesome me like a fucking child!" the albino complained when he saw the two of them.

"Come on, Gil. No other bar would even let us in anymore when we're with you. You're practically a walking bar fight." Antonio said.

And the two of them shared a hearty laugh as Gilbert cracked his knuckles.

* * *

She was having 'night terrors' was what the doctor said. Just to keep it safe, watch over her even as she sleeps, he had said.

Maria sighed. Seriously, she's at her wit's end trying to understand what's going on with her charge. This had never happened before. She thought about contacting her son, Emilio Jacinto, but it would be bad if he suddenly barges into Manila to take Clara away by force. Not that Maria did not entertain the thought. But with the number of American soldiers loitering around the palace, Maria wouldn't dare risk her son's life.

She pushed the door to Clara's room open to find her staring out the window with a listless expression on her face. It's like her soul wasn't in her body. Maria wondered if Clara really cracked as she had suspected in the first place.

They were eagerly anticipating Aguinaldo's arrival into Manila as soon as the two of them got wind of him declaring her independence from Spain. But months passed and there was still no native president stepping foot into Manila. Clara grew worried day by day, especially when they heard about the Filipino troops just waiting outside the city while the Spanish and Americans battled it out. As to why her people were left out of the fight for their own country, they had no idea.

Maria never really worried about political affairs or those complicated things. But Clara pored over the details and all possible outcomes and it looked to Maria as if the younger woman's prospects grew darker and gloomier each passing day.

Their waiting came to an abrupt stop one August night. Maria also remembered that as the day this condition of Clara started.

They were hiding in their usual spot inside the old church as they listened to the sound of cannons and gunfire in the distance. Maria could clearly recall that Clara was still fine up to that point. They were bickering in hushed tones despite the danger surrounding them. Maria felt like there was nothing to worry about, that the night would just pass into morning just like the past few days.

And suddenly, the yelling came closer…in a language she barely knew. The elder woman stood up, wondering what's happening outside.

"Clara, I think we should hide somewhere safer." She said to her ward.

When she looked at Clara, the younger girl was deathly pale and shaking. Maria was confused. Clara had never been this afraid before. "What's happened to you? Come on, let's get moving." She pulled Clara to a stand and just when they were about to go deeper into the church, the doors were kicked open and in came a stream of unfamiliar soldiers who pointed guns at them. Maria shrieked and pushed Clara back down.

The soldiers instantly lowered their rifles when a shout came from outside. Maria watched as a young white man with blonde hair entered the church and seemed to be making his way to her. Maria had a sudden premonition of doom and decided to fling herself over Clara who was covering her ears and staring wide-eyed at the floor.

Maria closed her eyes tightly, waiting for death as she clutched Clara protectively. Suddenly, the blonde stopped a few feet from them.

"Clara?" the young man called.

Maria opened her eyes and turned to the young man who had an easy smile on his face. "Clara_, it's me. It's Alfred. I've come for you_." The young man continued. Maria watched in confusion as the man kneeled beside them and tapped Clara on the shoulder to get her attention. He seemed so happy.

"Alfred?" Clara murmured. She brought her hands down from her ears and looked at him. "Alfred?"

The young man grinned and pulled her into his arms. He hugged her protectively, "_Clara, it's alright now. I'm here_."

Maria barely understood what the young man was saying but she was almost sure that they were in no immediate danger. They were safe for now.

She just wondered why Clara seemed disoriented. A few seconds later, her eyes were closed. "_Ah. She fell asleep_." The young man mused and proceeded to carry her in his arms. "I'd go take her back now."

Maria followed closely, baffled by Clara's behavior. _She fainted_, she thought to herself. _And her eyes_…_Clara, what's happening to you_?

They were taken to the newly occupied palace. Maria led the way to Clara's room and had the man put her to bed. Since then, Clara never came out of her stupor.

She'd be awake at odd times and was too weak to even get out of bed. Maria watched over her like a hawk but as far as she knew, there was nothing wrong with Clara physically. Maria was convinced Clara was the one doing this to herself. That it was Clara's choice to detach herself from reality. And as the days and weeks passed, Maria slowly had a vague idea as to what she was trying to shut herself off from. Maria eventually secretly dreaded the day Clara would come out of her self-induced stupor and face reality. Maybe what Clara was doing was some kind of defense mechanism.

Alfred Jones came back to the palace by the middle of January.

* * *

He doesn't know how to face her. For all the bravery he thought he had, he can't bring himself to show his face to her. He had done something unforgivable. He was unforgivable.

…_extend sovereignty of the United States of America over the whole country, by force if necessary._

Did he hear that right? Such a thing, coming from the mouth of his president? The leader of a free country? An advocate of a free world? Such a thing…to be said about Clara...Clara? Why does it have to be Clara?

Alfred felt like his mind was going to crack. What was he supposed to do? He had to follow orders…he doesn't want to hurt…he doesn't know if he's saving her or the other way around…is this a good thing? Or a bad thing? Is his feelings not allowed to be taken into account?

He can't even believe he ever was part of such a conversation…

…_consider it as a benevolent assimilation…you're not really subjugating her…she'd be a real part of our great nation…it's only right to take her up with us. It's only our duty._

What was his duty?

What if Clara had heard? What if she had misunderstood him? What if she hated him before he even got to explain himself? That can't be…he can't bear to have her hate him….he's got to talk to her…explain the situation to her…

But is it really that bad? They could be together. They didn't have to be separated. They liked seeing each other, right? She was really happy when he goes out of his way to see her when she was in Europe. Besides…this situation…could be treated like a union between their countries, right? Well…they are good friends…it can't be bad to always be together, right?

He found himself in front of her door. He knocked. There was no answer. But he let himself in, anyway. Moonlight shone through the open windows, helping him make out the things inside. He closed the door after him. The elderly woman must have stepped out for a while. Clara was sitting up on the bed, looking at him with listless eyes.

"Clara, it's Alfred. Are you feeling well? I have something important to talk to you about." He sat on the bed close to her. She was facing him, but it felt like she wasn't really seeing him. "Clara?"

"Alfred?" she whispered.

Alfred smiled and held her hand, "Yes. Now Clara, I want you to listen to what I have to say." He took a deep breath, "I'm not sure if you've heard about this, but I'd like to take this chance to tell it to you personally…properly. I wouldn't want any misunderstanding between us."

He waited for her to say something but she just stared at him, so he continued, "Clara, things may not have gone the way I expected them to be, but I want to assure you that you can trust me. I would not do anything to hurt you. I value your friendship more than anything. You are important to me…and I want to keep you happy."

She looked at his hand squeezing her hand and looked back at his eyes. For the first time since he came, she could see him clearly. And she remembered him. And she remembered what he did. And she remembered what she felt. Her heart broke in an instant. The haze in front of her eyes completely lifted and she could see him….she could see what he really was.

And he was saying, "It's not my intention to make you my colony…I'm here to make you my equal."

She can't believe he had the audacity to show his face to her.

"Do you understand, Clara?" he asked.

"Yes, you traitor." She answered.

Alfred was taken aback, "W-what?"

Clara made to get out of bed, away from him, "You heard me, you bastard. Get out of my sight." She moved to stand at the other end of the room. She looked at his stunned expression, hating him all the more for looking like he's the one who got hurt. "Don't show yourself in front of me ever again." She pointed towards the door, "Out."

"Clara, let me explain." He stood up from the bed and made his way to her.

Clara frantically looked around her until she reached for her bedside drawer and found a gun. She seemed to hesitate for a second before she held it in both hands and pointed it at his direction. Alfred stopped in his tracks and stared at her in shock, "Clara…"

"I…" she started. Her eyes strayed to the familiar gun in her hand, "Do you remember? You gave me this gun many years ago."

Her eyes filled with tears, "You said that I should use it to protect myself against my enemies."

Her hands started shaking. "I've always felt safe when I had this by my side. But you know, Alfred-…" she paused to breathe, "I…I-I have never pointed _this_ gun at anybody…not at soldiers…_not at my father_. I have never thought of using this gun…"

And her next words broke his heart entirely, "…Until now."

The pained expression he was showing her just infuriated her. _What does he know about pain? Why is he looking like I'm the one in the wrong here? What right does he have to look at me like he's hurting inside? What does he know about anything?_

She had a lot of things she wanted to say but no words would be enough to express them. There's no way she could make him comprehend. What she's showing him did not even scratch the surface of what she's hiding from him.

"Tsk." She was so angry. She lowered the gun and ran a hand across her hair in frustration, "I trusted you. I believed in you. I wanted to be like you!" she yelled at him. She sobbed, "What happened to us? We weren't supposed to be like this…I-I…" she caught sight of the gun she held in her hand, "Such a thing…why did you give me such a thing…" she threw the gun against the wall where it accidentally went off with a loud blast.

She covered her face with her hands and cried harder.

Alfred approached her and reached out for her pitifully. But she stepped out of his reach.

"Clara, I'm-," he started to say but she cut him off. She closed the distance between them and started beating him with her fists.

He caught her hands and held them tightly in his, "Why, Alfred? For God's sake, why?" her voice broke.

He wanted to say something. Anything. Make it right. Make her stop crying. _Anything. Anything to make it alright._

The door burst open and in came Maria, half a dozen soldiers and the over-all military commander Gen. Elwell Otis.

"Clara!" Maria called. Clara freed herself from his grasp and run up to the older woman who immediately led her outside and out of his sight.

He stared at his hands. He felt like it was the last time he could ever touch her.

Otis was looking around the room. At the messy bed and the gun in the corner. "What are you doing here at this time of the night, Alfred?" he inquired.

"We were just talking." Alfred answered.

Otis sighed and dismissed the soldiers. When they were gone, he turned back to Alfred, "I believe you. But next time you try to talk to her, can't you do it at a more acceptable hour?"

"It was urgent, I needed to-,"

"Alfred, it's the middle of the goddamn night. Hearing her screaming your name in some sort distress at this ungodly hour, one can't help but speculate all sorts of things. Tension is high enough as it is, Alfred. Please refrain from actions that would demoralize our troops." He sighed, "Come on, young lad." He turned and left.

Alfred followed silently and obediently. When they were just about to reach the staircase, a guard on night patrol came up to them and saluted, "Is there a problem?" the governor asked calmly.

"Sir, Miss de los Reyes and her companion has gone missing." The soldier reported.

"What?" Alfred said.

"Sir, they were escorted by a guard in the garden, but we found him unconscious and they were nowhere to be found in the area."

"Go alert the troops. Search the whole city. Don't let them escape." Otis ordered.

"And don't harm them. Whatever happens, they are not to be harmed. Not a scratch, understand?" Alfred ordered.

The soldier saluted them again and ran off to carry his orders. Alfred made to follow him but was held back by Otis, "I'm going out, too."

Otis shook his head, "No, it's better if you have as little to do with her at this point in time, Alfred."

Alfred threw him a confused look "What? Why?"

Otis turned and left, "Trust me. It's for your own good."

Alfred punched the wall in frustration, "Damn it!" _Why can't I do anything right?_

* * *

"Who are these people, Maria?" Clara asked. The two of them were planked by four men, one in each side. They were carrying guns. Clara trusts them because they were natives but she wasn't familiar with them.

"As you can see, they are helping us escape." Maria answered. "They used to be spies staying inside Manila."

Clara frowned at her, "I know that. But who are they? How come they just suddenly went by and found us? That can't be pure chance."

"Ever since that Alfred guy came back, I knew it would only be a matter of time before you high-tail it out of there. So I asked them to be on the ready every night. Well, took you only three days, so no big deal yet."

"Where are we going?" Clara asked.

"Where else? My son, of course."

"He's still in Laguna?"

"Yes. Though he said he's been asked again and again to join Aguinaldo's faction. By the way, Aguinaldo has established an official government in Malolos, Bulacan yesterday. Clara, you're now a republic." Maria said.

Clara smiled, "I see. If only we're not in this predicament, I could have been happier. But I'm glad. I'm glad…"

Maria patted her on the head gently as Clara looked away, "Yes…you could have been happier."

* * *

Alfred stood in attention as Otis talked on the phone with Clara's boss, a man named Emilio Aguinaldo.

Her boss had called about the confrontation that happened a few hours ago at San Juan Bridge involving soldiers from both American and Filipino sides.

Alfred dreaded the repercussions of such an event. There was already a high amount of tension and animosity between the two sides but this was the first time a head-on confrontation had occurred.

"It must go on to the grim end." Otis said before putting the phone down.

Alfred clenched his fists on his sides. _Why can't I do anything right by her?_

Otis sighed and stood up from his seat. Alfred averted his attention back to him. "We have entered into an official war with the Republic of the Philippines under President Emilio Aguinaldo. I want you to be ready for battle immediately. I'd let someone else capture and bring back Miss De los Reyes. In the meantime, I would like you to lead the troops against the insurgents."

He paused for a minute before he got enough courage to say "Yes, sir."

Two days later, the Treaty of Paris was ratified over the Philippines. American expansionists gained a free hand in subjugating its new colony.

* * *

It would be greatly appreciated if you could tell me what you think. XD


	15. In which the hero arrives: Part III

**Hi! I'm updating again with a long chapter for the history part! **

**Bear with me, this is a very important ...does anyone else think I rushed the last chapter? I did, because I was so excited to write this, it has been weighing on my mind the longest, aside from the World War II arc and the Indonesia arc. **

**Again, please don't take anything so accurately, okay? **

**once again, please be patient. Next time I'll upload,it would be for the WWIII arc so just chillax and enjoy this chapter I made with all my heart and CHEESINESS combined!**

**Reviews would be much appreciated, let me know what you think so I could give you what want.**

* * *

Alfred walked through the fort which acted as a temporary barracks. He found who he was looking for sitting under a table beneath a mango tree, eating lunch. The soldiers were chatting and laughing with each other. When they saw him approaching, they called out to him. Even if he was commander and they were his subordinates, they were still friends.

"Hey, Alfred. Want to join us for some lunch?" one of the men asked as he scooted to make some space for the new arrival.

"No, thanks, Max. I would like to discuss something with you guys. About what I told you the other day." Alfred stood at the head of the table. The four men nodded. "Have you got anything?"

"As a matter of fact, we did." Max answered. He was blonde with gray eyes and as old as Alfred's current age, 18. "We had gone through every bit of reports in the military archives."

Alfred raised an eyebrow and waited for him to continue.

Max stood up, "Very well. As you have requested two days ago, we have investigated all personal connections Miss Clara Zarita de los Reyes had since she came back to the Philippines in 1892. And I would like to say that it was very hard to gather information and the archives had little to no records of her except for the time she was living inside the city. So we went through other channels, but rest assured we went about it discreetly like you have instructed us to."

Alfred nodded.

Max went on, "From what we have gathered, starting from the arrest of a certain Dr. Jose Rizal, she had been in the company of Andres Bonifacio, the founder of an insurgent group, and Emilio Jacinto, a close friend of the latter."He took out sketches of the two from an envelope and handed it to Alfred. "It was said that even if Aguinaldo, who became her president through an election, asked her to join with him, she vehemently refused to leave the group of the then state enemy Bonifacio until his death by the hands of Aguinaldo's government."

"She ran away from them and went back to the side of Emilio Jacinto after Bonifacio's death and stayed with him until she learned of the treaty between Spain and Aguinaldo in which she promptly surrendered herself and went back to Manila voluntarily." Max finished and handed Alfred the whole envelope. "Other details are all there, but that's about the gist of it. She never had any romantic relations but it's quite a wide-spread rumor that Emilio Jacinto is enamored with her to the point of proposing marriage in public, which are also nonchalantly turned down also in public. But who knows what goes on behind closed doors…" Max returned to his seat. "I'm sure you have heard that they have sent men after him in Laguna because she's most likely to be there."

"I see. Thanks for all your efforts." Alfred said. He stood up, "Finish up your lunch. We're going in an hour."

One of the soldiers raised an eyebrow, "If you order us to, we would go…but haven't the general ordered you to stay away from her?"

"It's not too late to stop this war. I have to talk to her again." Alfred needed to stop this. Before it becomes a memory they both regret.

"As you wish." The soldiers answered. Once Alfred left, they quickly finished their lunches and went to get ready.

* * *

He used to accompany his mother to church.

His father died when he was just a baby. His mother made a living as a midwife. They were poor but they were able to scrape about day by day. He knew he was a bright kid, it delighted his mother to tell him so. And he delighted in making his mother happy.

It's like her mother was always grieving. He remembered her adorning her best clothes and a black veil and pulling him to church, where she'd kneel and pray for hours on end. He watched her silently in his seat, wishing that time would go faster or someone would suddenly give birth so they would get out of that gloomy place. His mother was not happy there…and sometimes she cried while praying.

But he was a child, how could he help? His mother would always say she would tell him when he's older. But his birthdays came and went and he was graduated with highest honors in primary school. He had long stopped accompanying his mother to church but he still didn't know why she still hadn't grown tired of such a habit.

"Mother, I want to be a lawyer." He told her one day when he was twelve. She just looked at him and smiled, told him that he could do it since he was such an intelligent boy. They could ask his rich uncle to help send him to a good school in the city. That was the day he started to dream. Maybe if he could be a lawyer, she'll be more proud of him. Maybe if he was a lawyer, he could help his mother. Whatever she was paying penance in the church for, surely he could find something to save her from it?

When he was thirteen, his mother left him in his uncle's care and went to serve in the Royal Governor's palace. His uncle told him his mother used to work there before he was born and it was his mother's dream to return to that place. He wondered if his mother is still doing penance in church every day.

When he was sixteen, his mother called for him to visit her at the palace. He was ecstatic. She barely visits him and his uncle and it was the first he ever got to see what's inside the palace. He donned his best clothes and cleaned himself thoroughly. He was greeted at the back door by his mother. She had a big smile on her face as she showed him off to the other native workers in the palace. He felt like a prize calf being paraded around.

She gave him a tour of the palace, telling him about her work and the people she get to see while working there. He had never thought such splendor could be possible in his country but it was all there, shining and glittery. A life that could only belong to foreigners. But what he could not forget was the dullest room in the house. There weren't any shiny things. It was only filled with portraits and faded photographs. The picture frames were dusty, he figured it was the most neglected part of the palace.

Almost all the images were of a girl. He wondered if it was a daughter of one of the past governors. There was sometimes a man with green eyes but it was far too few compared with the girl's except for the biggest painting in the room which had the girl not more than 5 years old sitting in the man's lap. He looked at the inscription at the bottom of the frame: _Don Antonio Fernandez Carriedo and his daughter, Clara Zarita de los Reyes y Carriedo circa 1605_.

_They must be part of the first influx of Spaniards from the peninsula_, he thought. He moved on to the smaller paintings, depicting the girl, obviously grown up, in various places and dresses. _Her father obviously fawns over her_. He spotted another painting of the girl who now looked like a fifteen year old native suffocating in a fancy European gown. Despite that, she was the most beautiful person he had ever seen. There was an inscription and he read it: _Se__ñorita Clara Zarita de los Reyes y Carriedo circa 1789._

He blinked and rubbed his eyes. He must be tired from roaming around the whole day. That was more than a century and a half since the first painting. The engraver must have got it wrong. But which part was the mistake. The year? Maybe. But what could justify such an error when the girl looks like she just hit puberty. Surely she can't look like that at a hundred years old.

His mother was watching him from across the room. He felt like he was being played. He tried to find another painting with an inscription. _Circa 1808…circa 1856…circa 1645…circa 1724…circa 1872._

The last one was dated 1872. And judging by the names on each of them, it was all of the same girl and the same man. How was that possible? The paintings dated since the start of the colonization of the islands.

"Mother…" he started.

His mother laughed, "Are you scared?"

He looked at her in confusion, "I don't understand. Why are they-?"

His mother picked up the small faded photograph of the girl dated 1872. "I met her when I was working here. I could tell you this photograph is not enough to prepare you at the sight of the real thing." She put it down on a small table gently. "She told me I was her first friend."

His mother continued, "Don Antonio adores her so much, that's why whenever he comes home from the peninsula, he commissions a new painting of her…which he'd then take with him the next time he goes away. That's why there are so many." She looked at them with glassy eyes. "They were such a loving father and daughter. It's a shame that they had to separate."

"Who are these people, mother?" he asked. He believes his mother…but…there must be a more logical explanation for all this. How come these people are still alive and young after centuries?

His mother beckoned him to sit across the tea table from her. "Sit down. Let me tell you a story before you were born."

That was the day he met Clara Zarita de los Reyes. As her mother recounted her life in the palace with the girl in the paintings, he finally understood why his mother went to church everyday for as long as he could remember. It was for her. His mother smiled, laughed, and cried as she told him her story. He listened quietly and eagerly. Taking in all the information he could, losing himself in his mother's memories, making them his.

"I came back here hoping to meet her again. I'm sure that someday she'll find her way back here again. And I want to be here at that moment. So that I could tell her how much I regret what I have done that night." His mother finished.

He made up his mind. He took his mother's hand in his and said, "Don't cry, mother. If I find her, I'll protect her until you meet again."

* * *

"It's time to fight for freedom, man. I'm telling you, this is what our lives should be all about." A classmate told him as they were walking to the house of a certain wealthy patron. They were to be initiated into a secret society working for the severance of the colonial shackles of Spain. He was just eighteen.

Jacinto nodded and smiled. He hoped what he heard about the meeting was true. It was said that she usually appears with a certain Andres Bonifacio during these meetings. He hoped it was true. He had prepared for years to meet her.

The hall wasn't as crowded as he thought it would be but he still can't see her. He thought about her maybe changing her appearance in the twenty and so years he had no idea what she had become. But rumors said she doesn't look more than seventeen years of age.

He met the founder of the revolutionary society and he was made to swear loyalty to the aims of the revolution. But up to the point that people were slowly dissipating, he still did not catch even a glimpse of her.

"I guess she isn't here…" he said to himself dejectedly as he made his way to the exit.

"Who isn't here?" a stern voice said.

His eyes widened in surprise as he found himself face to face with the founder of the Katipunan, Andres Bonifacio who was looking at him suspiciously.

Jacinto straightened himself up and cleared his throat, "I do not mean to impose, but may I ask where Señorita Clara Zarita de los Reyes is? I was informed that she is normally in your company but I haven't seen her tonight." He tried to sound as polite as he could though the man in front of him was not much older than him.

Bonifacio studied the guy. It was a new recruit. But he highly doubted that Clara had met this man before. He made sure she met people who aren't bonafide Katipuneros as little as possible so that the Spaniards wouldn't get wind of her location. Normally, people would not know about Clara's existence at all. It's not exactly something easy to explain and understand. So why is an unknown new recruit asking for her? He's too young to be her acquaintance when she was abroad or even before that. "What business do you have with her?" he asked.

And Jacinto told him about his mother and his promise. Bonifacio listened attentively and when he was done retelling, the older man stayed silent. Jacinto wondered if he would be allowed to see her tonight. If not, he could try some other day. "I would just like to say a few words to her, sir." Jacinto said.

Bonifacio nodded, "Clara is resting upstairs. We had just come from a distant province and she was tired from travelling so I let her miss the initiation." He started walking.

Jacinto stayed in place, "I see. I guess I'd just have to come back another day."

"Well, I'm on my way to wake her up, we'd be leaving in an hour so I'm sure she could spare you some time." Bonifacio said as he climbed the stairs.

Jacinto profusely thanked him on the way upstairs.

"Clara?" Bonifacio called as he knocked on the door. A female voice answered affirmatively at the other side of the door.

Bonifacio opened the door, "Clara, we're leaving in an hour. But before that, there's someone who would like to meet you." He motioned for Jacinto to step into the room.

Jacinto felt his heart break when he saw the girl he had waited so long to meet. She was smiling brightly at him, looking eager to please. His words that he had carefully put together died in his mouth.

She cocked her head to the side in confusion, "Well? Is there anything I can do for you, Señor-?"

"Ah…" he mumbled. God, what was he going to say again? "Emilio Jacinto."

"Yes, Señor Jacinto?" Clara smiled at him, egging him to go on.

He felt something inside him snap, "Why are you smiling?"

Bonifacio raised an eyebrow at him.

The girl stared at him in surprise, "What?"

Jacinto ran his hand through his hair in frustration, "You! You make me so angry! I was expecting you to look more melancholic! But look at you! You're smiling like an idiot! I don't know what to do with you anymore!"

Clara gaped at him, "E-excuse me?"

"You've been through so much suffering! I can't even begin to imagine what hell you must have been through! But how come you could smile like the bad things never happened? How can you…you're not supposed to be like this. You've been hurt so much and yet you're-…it…it's so infuriating…" Jacinto exclaimed. He then looked at her. The shock had still not worn off from her expression. Bonifacio was staring at him intently.

Jacinto took a deep breath. He'd never snapped like this at a woman before, and to someone with her status to boot. He was a perfect gentleman. Until he met this girl. He doesn't know whether he should pity her or continue to be angry. But…

He fell to his knees, "There's no way, right? There's no way nothing has changed. It was sad, right? You were hurt, right? So why are you smiling? There's no way you're okay, right? You're in so much pain, right? Then why aren't you crying when you're in so much pain?" he yelled.

Clara's hands started shaking. Cold sweat ran down her back. _What does he know about me? _"What are you saying?" she trembled as she talked.

Jacinto's tears fell. It was just so frustrating. He bowed until his forehead touched the floor, "If even in here there is no place for you to cry, what would be the point of fighting for this land then?"

Bonifacio watched as Clara's expression softened. He smiled to himself_. Someone finally told you what you wanted to hear._

Jacinto raised his head and looked at her, "So please…don't lie to your self. Even if you break down and cry, no one would hate you. It's alright to be selfish. You don't have to give everything so freely. Forgive yourself a little for wanting to be loved just like everybody else."

Clara was sobbing softly by the time he finished, "Is that all you ask of me?"

And he told her the words he meant to say to her from the beginning, since he had known of her years prior to meeting. She immediately stopped crying and for the first time, he felt like she genuinely smiled down upon him. His heart skipped a beat.

Bonifacio pulled him to a stand and patted his back, "It's not that you've said something wrong…but I would like to remind you that she's also got notions of 'moving forward' and 'forgiveness'. You're right. She had changed. She got stronger. What happened a long time ago is already a distant memory. Don't underestimate her."

"Ah." Jacinto felt his insides melt down in embarrassment. What the hell did he just blurt out before? Of course, it's been a really long time, did he really expect her to be moping around? He had been thinking like it happened yesterday. He had only been dwelling in his mother's memory he forgot to take note of what could have happened to her in that span of time. He must have looked like a real idiot. "Sorry about that. I forgot you're different."

Clara giggled, "You're an idiot."

Jacinto smiled…and he never left their side.

* * *

"You're crushing me." Clara struggled in vain. Emilio Jacinto was currently hugging her to death. Running like an idiot once he saw her should have been her first clue.

"I'm so glad you're alright!" he was crying tears of joy. The small population in the camp smiled at the scene the two was making. They had been like that for almost half an hour now.

"…well, not for long…" Clara tried to push him again. "You could let go now. I'm not going anywhere." It was really embarrassing and Maria was already glaring daggers at her. _It's not my fault!_

Jacinto held her at arm's length, "Did you miss me?"

Clara pouted and looked away, "Not in the least."

Jacinto pulled her into his embrace again, "I missed you so much."

Clara blushed, "Can you please stop? We're in public."

"Then is it okay when we're alone? Oh my, that's naughty of you, _mahal ko_."

"You pervert! That's not what I meant! You-,"

Macario Sacay took a long swig of _lambanog_ as he listened to Clara scolded at Jacinto and the latter just laughing it off. Ah…sweet normalcy. It took another half an hour for Clara to exhaust her anger and Jacinto to beg for forgiveness. Maria took Clara away to lunch while Jacinto went back to where he was lounging with Sacay before Clara arrived. The grin on his face was contagious.

"Happy now, _mi amigo_?" Sacay handed the bottle of liquor to Jacinto.

Jacinto took a swig and handed it back, "Of course, it's a day of celebration. I could see her whenever I want to."

"We'd take a break today. The soldiers could use a day off. There's a barrio fiesta today nearby. I'd go tell them they could go if they want to." Sacay stood up and left.

Jacinto turned his gaze to Clara who was currently being served food at the hut across from him. "I will never stop until I kill that traitorous son of a bitch, Clara."

Clara's eyes fell on him and he made his way to her, "Would you like to go to the barrio fiesta nearby later?" he asked.

"Sure." Clara answered, "I really miss local festivities."

"Great. I'll see you tonight." And he left to go finish up what's left of his work so he could be free tonight.

Several hours later found them watching a band strike up some festive music as some youth took to the dance floor. Jacinto watched as Clara's expression lit up at the sights. She clapped to the music, her feet tapping to the beat. He smiled and kneeled in front of her and held her hand in his.

"May you honor me with a dance, milady?" He kissed her hand.

Clara hid her face behind her fan, "You're so flashy." But she let him pull him to the dance floor.

Heads turned as the two of them made their way to the floor. The other people cleared themselves from the dance floor and watched from the sidelines as the well-known young general and a beautiful young woman stood there waiting for the music to start.

The band master suddenly changed the music and struck up a waltz. Clara felt like she can't anymore embarrassed as Jacinto put a hand on her waist and held her hand in his. They danced. Her eyes met his and neither of them could avert their gaze anymore.

Maria scowled as she watched her son dance with Clara, "I just can't get used to the idea of them together. But I have to admit, they look good together."

Sacay chuckled beside her, "I agree. They may not yet realize it, but there's just no other way for them to be in this world but to be together."

Maria frowned, "Hm. A few more years with her and my son would go crazy."

"I'm sure he'd prefer madness with her than madness without her."

* * *

Jacinto slumped back down into the trench and panted. The enemies were more getting more powerful as of late and he had been forced into making retreats more often. There was another explosion in the trenches that belong to his troops and painful screams wafted into the air along with the volleying of rifles and gunpowder.

Jacinto tossed aside his battered empty rifle and crawled along the trench. He passed men who were dying and men who were still fighting. War is miserable, and they were caught at the worst side of it.

"Retreat! Run!" he screamed as hard as he could. But another blast resounded and his voice was drained out. "RETREAT!" he yelled again.

This time, he could see the men moving towards their planned route of escape. Jacinto cursed at the wind. _Damn it…I'm losing it._

The men nearest him were packing up as much weapons as they can reuse some other day and others were helping the wounded or finding fellow soldiers who need help.

Jacinto pulled a man into his soldiers before he realized he was dead. _Forgive me, we'll have to come back for you. _He gently put the soldier back on the ground and felt around for anyone still alive who was still not being assisted.

Some men were still pretending to be fighting so the enemies can't them slowly dwindling in numbers. Jacinto watched the wounded men make their way back into the safety of the forest behind their trenches first before he signaled for each of the men still fighting to get out of the trenches. He was about to follow the last one who disappeared into the forest when he heard a low cry coming from a few feet away from him. He could hear the enemies shouting amongst themselves from their trenches. They had stopped firing. He should be out of there as soon as he can because it would be dangerous if they caught sight of him going into the forest. They will surely follow.

But there was someone there, and now that he could make out what it was saying through the absence of the gunfires, it was asking for help.

_Come back with everyone, alright? Don't worry, I'll patch you all up. So please, come back._

He could hear Clara's voice echoing in his head. He tightened his resolve and ran through the trench. He found the man crawling on the ground towards the direction of their escape route. He was missing a leg and was bleeding profusely from shrapnel wounds on his arm. Jacinto picked him up and slumped him on his back. "Hold on, we're getting you home."

"Thank you. Thank you." The man choked out.

"Save it for when we get out of here." He grimaced. He was tired, dead tired. But he had to get them out of here. He had to come back to her. Right now is a crucial time for her, he can't leave her to face it alone. He had to live. He had to run.

Jacinto could hear the voices coming closer. He ran though the trench as fast as his load and his strength would allow him. He barely made it into the edge of the forest when someone yelled and a bullet whizzed at the side of his face. There were more shouting he could barely concentrate on to understand. Blood was pounding in his ears. And he ran faster.

Another volley of gunfire and he changed directions where there are thicker trees as much as possible. His pursuers were not Spaniards that he was sure of. It was the Americans, evident by the difference in tactics and gun power.

His body was complaining about his but he can't stop…or else it'll be death for sure. He had heard rumors of the Americans being a ruthless army. And as they were chasing him through the jungle, he believed it.

There was another round of gunfire and he felt something go through his thigh. He yelped in pain and stumbled into a thicket, accidentally throwing off the man on his back. He panted in exhaustion as he crawled over to other man. "Hey, come on." He pulled him by the arm. But the man was already dead.

_Damn it!_ Jacinto cursed to himself. He abruptly stood up and limped as fast as he can muster. _I'll get you later!_ He vowed to himself.

But he wasn't so lucky. They were closing in on him. He could hear them running towards him. He could feel their presence. He could feel his death coming along with them.

There was another round of gunfire and a bullet went through his right shoulder. He collapsed face first on the roots of a Narra tree. He tried to regain his breath. He looked around for any crevice he could hide into. He crawled, desperate to put distance between him and his pursuers.

But it was too late. He heard the sound of metal click behind him. He looked over his shoulder and saw a blonde young man pointing a rifle at him. Jacinto tried to pull himself to a stand using the tree while keeping his eye on the other man and keeping his back to him.

"He's here!" the foreigner shouted. Jacinto vaguely understood him but seeing as he could hear more people coming in his direction he inferred that he had called out his other comrades.

Jacinto counted four other men arriving. They didn't bother also pointing guns at him. For some reason, they all looked alike to him.

"Put down your gun, Max." One of the new arrivals said to the one who found him. He was wearing glasses and wasn't wearing a proper uniform unlike the other men. Max obeyed but kept the gun at the ready along with the other three soldiers.

The young man with glasses stepped forward, "I'm Alfred F. Jones. I was informed that-,"

Jacinto felt a red haze overcome his exhausted mind. _Alfred F. Jones! _The traitor he had been told about. He glared at the man saying things he can't understand.

Before he could think, he had pulled the small revolver hidden inside his military jacket and shot at the bewildered man's head.

* * *

Alfred entered the dark basement that served as a temporary prison. The smell was overwhelming. It reeked of sickness, death and despair. He thought about telling the warden to alleviate the conditions as much as possible but he already knows this was as good as it can get. He doubts they'd cater to prisoners of war.

He could still remember the expression on the man's face when he gave his name. The man had missed his head but had accidentally shot the two men standing behind him. Alfred did get a bullet in the upper arm but it was all better now. He had tackled the man after Jacinto had exhausted his four bullets. But he couldn't stop Max and Albert from beating up the man when their two other friends were shot though the two lived because Jacinto did not hit any vital organ.

He stopped in front of cell at the backmost and darkest portion of the prison. There was only a single inmate inside. Alfred strained his eyes and found the prisoner sitting with his back supported by the wall opposite the bars. Alfred cringed at the sight of his bloody, bruised body. The man was dirty and his wounds had gone a week without proper treatment. He was delirious with high fever and dehydrated. It was understandable if this man had died days ago but he was holding on desperately, his determination the only thing keeping him alive through his dire situation.

"Emilio Jacinto." Alfred called.

The man opened his eyes and lifted his head to look at him. Alfred felt shivers run down his spine. The man glared at him, and Alfred could feel his desire to kill him. "Alfred Jones." The man spat out his name like venom.

Alfred never got the hang of speaking Spanish though he understands it perfectly. Probably because of the influence of his neighbors and England who was strict with his education when he was little.

"I'm having you released from here as soon as possible. I'm sure Clara is worried sick about you." Alfred informed him.

Jacinto grimaced, "Spare me your platitudes. I'd rot in here before I owe you anything, especially my life."

"You're important to Clara. I don't want your death hanging over my head when this is over." Alfred continued, "I don't want you owing me anything either."

There was a pause before Jacinto spoke again, "You had the gall to betray her and you're still saying you care about what's important to her?" he chuckled, "Damn it! Even when my opinion of you couldn't get any lower, I'm still overestimating you."

Alfred felt his sympathy for the man ebb away only to be replaced by anger, "I suggest you watch your mouth or only one of us will ever get out of here. You have no way of understanding me or Clara."

Jacinto closed his eyes, the pain in his leg was becoming too much the longer he was conscious, "You're right. I don't understand her." He threw Alfred a dirty look, "I certainly won't claim such a thing when I'm betraying her."

Alfred gripped the bars tightly, "Shut up."

Jacinto fisted his knuckles. Clara's face flashed in his mind. Her smiling face. Her futile attempt to lie to herself again. They had been so close to freedom and his man had to yank all of them back to the night. Why did he have to arrive at such a crucial time? Jacinto can't bring himself to believe that such a man had ruined all their efforts, all their hard work, had trampled upon all their wishes, "Why did you have to appear before her? She doesn't need you!" he yelled.

Alfred was slightly taken aback but found that he had nothing to say to that.

The prisoner continued, "That girl…she had always thought she was alone. She was afraid she'll hurt others. But yet she can't help but want to seek others. I have always thought about her. And I love her. I love her so much." He looked at Alfred as if daring him to say something.

But the American kept his lips shut.

Jacinto struggled to move from his sitting position. But his leg wound hurt like hell and prevented him from standing. So he crawled to get to Alfred, "That's why…That's why I won't let you! Even at the cost of my life I will stop you! So that girl would stop crying and finally…finally step into the light she dreamt of! I don't care if I die. If it would take my death to stop you, then I'll gladly offer my life a thousand times!"

Alfred watched him endure crawling on the dirty floor, dragging his busted leg. This man was a general of an army but even he was such a pitiful sight having to crawl in order to move.

He reached for the bars and pulled himself to a stand on his one good leg. Alfred stepped back a little. The man's hand suddenly shot out and pulled him back by the collar. A few guards saw them and rushed to his side. They tried to pull the prisoner away from him and bayonets were shoved at him but the man did not release him. Alfred stopped the guards.

Jacinto pulled him closer until Alfred can't look at anywhere but straight at him, and with only Alfred to hear him, he said "I'll hang over you for eternity. Even for a second, I won't let you forget this betrayal. My curse shall stop you from touching her with your filthy hands. No matter how much time passes, even if she forgives you…and no matter how much you love her…"

Jacinto pushed him back. He let himself fall back to the floor where he gave Alfred another warning look before he crawled back to his former spot at the backmost wall. He did not wait for Alfred to snap out of his stupor before he closed his eyes and allowed the darkness to take him.

A guard patted Alfred's shoulder to get his attention. Alfred blinked before making his way out of the basement in a hurry. He met the warden as he was climbing the stairs that led to the exit. He stopped him, "Release him. Take him back where he came from. I don't want to see him ever again." He ordered.

"But he's a commander of the insurgent-,"

"Don't make me repeat myself, captain." Alfred snapped and walked out of the basement prison.

* * *

Clara entered the church like she had done so for the first time. It has been a long time since she had come to church to earnestly pray to God. The God Spain had given her. The faith she embraced along with the colonization. She reached the front of the altar and knelt down. Clara looked up at the cross hanging up high above her head against the sunlight entering from the painted glasses.

_I know I haven't been a person of faith these past years. I was ashamed to call on you while I permit the killing of people, even if they are my enemies. Even now, I don't have the right to kneel before you…but I have nowhere to turn to. Everything around me is falling apart. The freedom my people have worked so hard for is slipping fast from my grasp. The night we have longed to escape is pulling us back. A man I thought was my friend has betrayed me. And that man had taken someone who was important to me. _

_I wanted to be a person who understands. I didn't want to hate. But it hurts…it hurts so much. I don't know what to do. Everytime I think about it I'm left speechless in pain. If freedom is a God-given right, why do we have to struggle this much? If this was the punishment for my selfishness, then I'd take it all on me, but spare my people. They are tired. It's enough. Let them rest. I'll take all the sins upon me, so please, I'm begging you…save our land._

She lost track of the time she stayed there until someone called her name behind her. She turned and recognized the person as a woman from the camp. "Did something happen?" She stood up and approached the woman.

The woman shook her head, "Some men found Gen. Emilio Jacinto left near the river. They took him back to camp. He's alive but the doctor said he won't be-,"

Clara was already running out of the church and back to camp as fast as her legs could carry her.

Her heart was beating erratically and her sides were in stitches when she arrived at the camp but she didn't give herself time to stop. Macario Sacay approached her as soon as she approached the congregation outside of the hut Jacinto used. His face was grim. Clara looked at him with a broken expression, "The doctor said he won't make it through the day. He had been left untreated for too long, they can't save him anymore. He already knows this."

Clara opened her mouth to say something but found that her voice had left her. At that moment, Maria came out of the hut in tears, and seemed a bit surprised to see her there, "He just said that he felt you were near so he told me to tell you to come inside." she staggered to Sacay, "I'd leave him to you."

Clara nodded and closed the door after her. The room was dim. They had closed the windows and a single lamp illuminated the room. She approached the man lying prone in the only bed in the small room. He was already cleaned up and wearing clean comfortable clothes. She sat on the ground near the bed and held his hand. He opened his eyes and turned to her.

"Ah, _mahal ko_, are you alright? Were you hurt?" he started.

Clara smiled at him, "I'm fine. I'm already healed up. W-what about you?" she choked.

He grinned, "Well…the doctor said I don't have long. What a joke. As if I could die." He let out a mild chuckle.

She giggled,"I know. The Jacinto I know is so full of life he wouldn't die. Your mother said so, too." She remembered fondly.

Jacinto closed his eyes tiredly again, "I see. I guess I never thanked you for forgiving her. Your time together again may be short, but I bet my mother was happy. Thank you for accepting back my mother. It means a lot to me."

She shook her head, "No, you're wrong. I'm the one who should be thankful to have a friend like her. I've always been glad I met her."

There was a moment of silence before their smiles faded.

Jacinto looked her in the eye, "Clara, I really am going to die, aren't I?"

She started to cry, "…Jacinto, I'm sor-,"

"Ahh, don't. That's not what I want to hear from you. It's not your fault, _mahal ko_. I brought this upon myself. And I will never regret it."

"But-," she tried to argue but he stopped her again.

He smiled at her again, "To quit school, to join the revolution, to risk my life…it was my choice. When it came for me to make these choices, I never hesitated even once. As long as I don't lose my resolve to fight, I never lost my courage." He lifted his other hand to catch her tears, "To risk my life was optional, but to fall in love with you was inevitable."

"Emilio…" she sobbed.

His free hand fell on her hands which were holding his other hand. "The best choice I made in my life…is to stand between you and your enemies. I don't care if I have to give up my youth, my future…all I want is you…for you to smile and be truly free."

Clara tightened her grip on his hand, "Why?...So much…for me."

He chuckled, "Weren't you listening to me all these years? I love you, Clara. I chose you. There's only you in here." He placed her hand in his chest. "I love you. I don't care how many times I have to say it. I'll never get tired of saying it until you believe me and even when you do."

Clara shook her head, "No. You don't have to. I never doubted you, never."

Jacinto eyes softened, "Hahaha…I know. That's why you have the audacity to run away from me. You trust me that much."

"Forgive me for always running away. I was only thinking about myself. I'm sorry I always made you wait." She just had to say it, even if he didn't need to hear it.

He sighed tiredly, "Not really. Waiting and worrying myself sick for you gets quite a bit less painful in a few days. Whenever you're away, and I'm by myself…when I'm alone….I just stand and look at the sky…and then remember that it's yours, that we're still under the same sky and that's all it takes for me to smile…and sometimes feel like crying…"

"Emilio…"

He continued, "And then I imagine, that I see you running as fast as you can towards me, calling my name with a big smile on your face and when I embrace you, you say 'I'm home'. And lo, sometimes you do just pop out from nowhere. Though it's not as good as I fantasized it to be, you were there and I thank God you're safe." Tears stung his eyes. "Thank God you're safe."

She kissed his hand and held it to her cheek. "I'm here. I'm home. You were my home, Jacinto."

"And you were mine. You were always my home. You will always be. Oh man, I wonder if Andres' last day was this happy. He'll be so jealous of mine when I tell this to him. Hahaha, I can't wait to see his face." he laughed.

She frowned at him and dropped his hands, "Hey, don't joke around like that! It's not funny! Are you really going to leave me alone?"

He had another idiotic grin plastered on his face again, "Why? Are you going to be sad? Are you going to miss me so much? Are you going to cry your eyes out? Are you? Are you?"

Clara looked away to hide her embarrassment, "Of course I am, who do you think you are?" she mumbled.

He didn't hear her clearly, "Huh?"

She snapped at him, "You're Emilio Jacinto! The most bothersome, most carefree, most annoying…the bravest idiot I've ever known…you were a lot of things…I always watched you…I saw a lot of things in you…"

He raised an eyebrow, "And?" He struggled to sit up on the bed as Clara pondered for a bit.

Clara continued her tirade, "You were always there for me. You say the damnedest things at the worst time. You never turned your back on me. You fought for me. You were kind, courageous, smart, funny…You…you were everything I hoped to be. You were everything I loved. You-," she paused and looked at him in the eye.

He couldn't stop the hope that welled up in his heart at that moment, "What am I to you, Clara?"

She said with an irritated voice, "You idiot…you are the one I love."

They stared at each other in silence before Clara averted her eyes and Jacinto covered his eyes with his hand, "Hahaha…I've always wanted to hear you say that...now that I heard it, it's kinda embarrassing…oh man, I'm so happy…what do I do? I'm so happy." He can't believe he's shedding tears at this moment, "Ahh~ I'm so happy~"

Clara turned back to him and secretly reveled in his reaction, "Did you…did you do all those things…just so that I'll love you?" she asked.

He stopped grinning but his hands were still covering his eyes, "No. I never asked for anything in return except for your happiness. I just want you to be able to see, what you could love about yourself. I want you to love yourself, Clara. If you love what you see in me, then love yourself too."

"What are you-,"

He removed his hands from his eyes and met her gaze, "All this time, you might not have realized it. But I could see how much you've come to hate yourself, Clara. All you do is blame yourself when something bad happens. I know it's hard to accept but please, love yourself more. Everything you loved in others, I'm sure it's also inside of you. You just have to see for yourself. Hurry and realize it, Clara."

There was a short pause before she ran her fingers through his hair as she smiled at him. _How can I not love myself when you've given me all of you? _

Her hand running through his hair was making him sleepy. "Ah. I'm getting tired. Mind if I catch some snooze?" He yawned.

_She stopped crying, _he thought as he watched her move.

"Go ahead, I'll just open the windows and then you can-," she was stopped when he pulled her to him and kissed her gently on the lips. When he pulled away, he was laughing.

"Hahaha, your face was so close I can't help it."

She pushed him back to the bed, "…stop fooling around and get some rest. I'll see you when you wake up."

"Hahaha…I would like to wake up with you next to me. How about it? Will you marry me?" he said hopefully.

She can't help but smile inwardly at his antics as she made her way to the window, "…go to sleep. I'll go think about it."

He paused before a broad grin lighted his face, "Wow…this is like the first time you didn't reject me. I'm so lucky today." His voice held so much amazement that Clara wondered if she had been _that_ cruel to him all these years.

"Yes, yes. I love you, Jacinto." She sighed at his behavior. _How could someone like this be dying?_

There was a moment of silence before he said in a firm voice, "…say that once more."

She opened the window. A nice breeze came in and sunlight spilled into the room, bathing her in its glow. She turned around to look at Jacinto. He was sitting up on the bed, his back supported by the head board. He was smiling lovingly at her. She'd never forget him on that day.

She smiled with all her heart and with as much love as she could muster said, "I love you, Jacinto. I'm in love with you."

The sight of her smiling, bathed in the light, it was dazzling. His tears fell again. He was so happy he could have jumped out of the bed to embrace her if he had enough strength left in him. He took in the sight of her, glowing in the light of day…and her voice…her sweet, sweet voice telling him the most beautiful words in the world, for only him to hear…how he loved her, he loved her so much.

He closed his eyes for a moment and opened them again. She was still standing there, looking at him lovingly, for the first time. He'd never give up this place. To be on the receiving end of that gaze forever.

"Can I use your lap as a pillow? These pillows are quite itchy, they won't let me sleep. Please? One last favor for the man you love?" he requested.

She eyed him suspiciously, "Don't push your luck, if I know, you're going to abuse that right over me, aren't you?"

"Hahaha…you got me…but still…at least until I get better? Please?"

She huffed."Fine." She made her way to the bed and slid in beside him. She folded her legs and he instantly slid down his body on the bed and rested his head on her lap. "Are you really badly hurt? You seem strong enough to go about harassing me."

"Nope. I'm not. But you do smell really nice. Did you just come from the bath before you came here?"

She flicked his forehead, "Pervert. Shut up or I'll leave."

"Yes, yes, _mahal ko_. It's not everyday that I get to sleep comfortably, right?" he took another deep breath, "Ahh…You always smell like _sampaguita_. That's why I could tell you're near even when I don't see you. You smell like the images in church. My own personal goddess."

She pulled on the blanket. "Okay, sleep now, hey! Where are you-," she suddenly noticed that his arms were wrapped loosely around her waist and that he was sleeping on his side.

He opened one eye. "Err…you could go when I fall asleep."

She flicked him again. "Fine. But when I feel your hands wandering where it shouldn't be, you'll be in a world of pain."

"Hahahaha…I wouldn't mind being strangled by your pretty little hands …" but he just stared at her face with a stupid grin on his face.

"Well? Why aren't you closing your eyes?" she raised an eyebrow.

"I'm just trying to memorize your face. So I won't forget."

"You can stare all you want some other day, but right now, you need to rest." She ran her fingers though his hair and hummed a lullaby.

"You do know I'm old enough not to fall asleep to a lullaby?"

"Shut up. It's not the lullaby's fault that you can't sleep." She continued massaging his head and humming her song.

"You know, you're the most beautiful when you're in the light, Clara."

She smiled at him. He smiled back. He lifted his arm to tuck her hair behind her ear as she stared down at him then he let his arm fall back to his side.

_Goodbye. I wish I could be reborn…so that I could fall in love with you again. Until then…_

"I love you." He closed his eyes and slept peacefully for the first time in years.

"I love you, too." Clara ran her fingers though his hair as he slept. She wiped the sweat from his forehead with the hem of her skirt and pulled the covers over him. She giggled when she saw the smile on his face while he slept. "I wonder what you're dreaming about."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I just thought I should know better this time. All the people I loved, they were all taken from me. I thought it was for the best that I distance myself from you so we wouldn't get hurt…but…I just made you suffer. I'm sorry, Jacinto."

She hugged his head closer to her, "I'm sorry. Even when I love you this much, I couldn't do anything for you." Her tears fell again, "I'll miss you. I'll miss you so much."

When Sacay entered the room, he found Clara on the bed, crying softly while humming a lullaby, running her fingers through the hair of a peacefully lying Jacinto.

"I see you have no regrets, amigo. I'm happy for you." He exited the room as silently as he came in. He'd leave the two alone for some while more before he informs the others to prepare for a funeral.

* * *

Clara stood at the foot of the freshly made grave. Never had she thought the day she'd stand at this man's grave would come sooner than she expected. He had once recounted dreaming of him growing old next to her, lamenting the fact that he'd look like a dirty old man proclaiming his undying love to her forever sixteen-year-old self. She and Bonifacio had laughed. Saying that since it was him, it was a premonition of the future.

Her tears had dried up hours ago and there was only a cold empty feeling left in her heart. The clouds cleared up and the moon illuminated her surroundings, giving everything an eerie glow. She couldn't feel his presence anywhere since he died in her arms. She certainly did not feel this lonely when someone precious to her had died before. She had always felt them guarding her, comforting her, walking beside her after their deaths. It's like Emilio Jacinto had completely disappeared. _How come I can't feel you beside me, Jacinto?_

She kneeled on the ground and dug a small hole. She placed the small plant she had been holding and covered its roots with soil. She patted the ground. "Here. I planted a sampaguita for you. So that you could tell I'm near, even if you don't see me." She stood back up and looked at her plant, "No matter the story behind the flower, it only has one meaning. It's a promise to love and never forget."

"I promise you." she said softly.

She waited for an answer but there was only silence and the coldness of the grave.

Clara turned and walked away into the dark. Where she could keep her promise. Forever…

* * *

_Is that all you ask of me?_

_Yes, that's all I'll ever ask and…_

"In exchange, I'll give you all of me."

* * *

Silent forces are working while a false calm is reigning  
Calm precedes the storm - soon will the hurricane rage,  
And with more firmness, more prudence will our work we continue  
And start the struggle again, but with more ardor and strength,  
Till in the end we shall triumph, till dried your tears shall be.

Motherland, idolized, precious, as your sorrows are growing  
So our love grows again, your affection for thee,  
Do not lose hope or courage, for from the wound, the gaping,  
Always the blood will flow, while there is life in us,  
And we shall never forget thee in eternity's space.

- _A La Patria_, Emilio Jacinto


End file.
